I freaked my mom out (Hell yeah!)

[Coward92]

So Me and my mom are siiting at the table having dinner and we start talking about the pope-election.
And I say that I want a reformer pope and she asks why.
I say, I want gay marriage in the Catholic Church. I could see the blood flow out of his face ...
She said taht it is unnatural and shit and I told her that marriage is not a natural relationship either, and thus nature's laws doesn't apply and even if they did, homosexuality is a natural phenomena.
And I am a scientist so stfu.

And she turns her back and says "you can say whatever you want but it will never happen and I refuse to listen to this" and walks up to her room.
She is having a job-interview tomorrow. I hope I don't screw up her day...

Thoughts?
I feel a little enthusiastic and hurt at the same time.

[Scealle]

Usually I don't discuss really sensitive subjects like personal relationship or politics with my parents during eating time. It can potentially get really awkward if we disagree with each other. Though I got really defensive few years back when she mentioned gay marriage and the LGBT issue.

I think it's silly when people said marriage between the same sex is unnatural. There are gay animals out in the nature too so I just rolls me eyes whenever someone says that.

She probably won't think too much into it. My parents get mad at me in the morning than after a nice nap they usually have forgotten it. (At least it seems so) Wish your mum good luck with the interview

[Coward92]

Yeah, she is a Religious Education teacher.
She devoteh her whole fucking life to spread the message of the Church and she says: "Let gay people do what they want among the four walls of their home"

But i disagree. I want to change this I want gay people to be equal in every field.

[loki81]

she's right, though. we'll never see gay marriage in the Catholic church, at least not in any of our lifetimes.

officially, they still disapprove of condom usage (though it's at least evolved to a point where priests look the other way... *that's* probably something I'd expect to see changed)

[Seasoned]

You've both stated your positions and it's time to let go of the general topic of what the Church ought to be doing
You've planted a seed so eventually the discussion will turn to you and your right to happiness. Even if she's scared that you don't fit into her current definition of morality, it's likely she'll adjust her thinking, perhaps not in general, but she'll figure out a way that allows her to desire you to be happy.

[ElmosToe]

I'm just shocked you were eating dinner together. I didn't think people still took part in such activities.

[The Fly]

I love the part about "And I'm a scientist so stfu", that's funny and bad at the same time. My Mom would have gave me "The Eyebrow", waited 10 seconds and started swinging. I wouldn't even dare say something like that over the phone...LOL

[kevin23]

She is a Religious Education teacher and you expect her to accept your point of view? That is much like telling a physics teacher that Einstin's theories are rubbish.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, it was rather rude to bring up the subject in your Mother's house when you know she has an opposing view. Even makes a living teaching the opposing view. This can only lead to anguish to your Mother at best, getting you thrown out at worst. Does she still wash your clothes, make your bed, clean your room and shower? Be appreciative, don't antagonize her just because you can. If she doesn't do these things now I'm sure she did for many years. I would think an apology would be in order. You will not win anyone to your point of view with a confrontational approach.

[Coward92]

She is a Religious Education teacher and you expect her to accept your point of view? That is much like telling a physics teacher that Einstin's theories are rubbish.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, it was rather rude to bring up the subject in your Mother's house when you know she has an opposing view. Even makes a living teaching the opposing view. This can only lead to anguish to your Mother at best, getting you thrown out at worst. Does she still wash your clothes, make your bed, clean your room and shower? Be appreciative, don't antagonize her just because you can. If she doesn't do these things now I'm sure she did for many years. I would think an apology would be in order. You will not win anyone to your point of view with a confrontational approach.

Yeah you can shut it.
It was rather rude of her to tell me that "be heterosexual or pack your stuff and move"
Plus I've done a lot of things for her in all my life. I did anything to make her happy and only today do I realize that it wasn't worth the effort because she just used me.
And I wanted to make things work between us again! The fool I was.
All the times she said she loved me and then when my true identity was revealed she wanted to throw me out?
All her words were lies! She said she would kill for me when I was a child. Seems like she would kill me for her freedom now.

Was it too much of me to expect my MOM who told me she loved me and would do anything for me to make good on her words? Was it? Think about it again before you judge me you prick!

My mom does pretty much nothing of the above chores you mentioned. My brethren and I do them, while she attends university classes and figures out what we should do next. Oh she is also a mental-health profeesional but her head is ful of bullshit. She is willfully blind to real problems and she creates theories in her mind and then she proceeds to believe them.

Yeah an apology is in order. I and my brethren and my dad should get our apology from her in time. Especially after all the things we've done for her. She always finds excuses for why she doesn't take part in family activities, and she keeps bitching about stuff she couldn't do on her own anyways.

Make no mistake, if there is a hand that feeds me it is my dads. And it is not given for free either.
I'm not some spoiled american child who is sitting at home 20 years old and is waiting for the big opportunity of his life while mom and dad feeds him.

You may have had the best mom ever, but I actaully have to deal with a dragon.

[Coward92]

I love the part about "And I'm a scientist so stfu", that's funny and bad at the same time. My Mom would have gave me "The Eyebrow", waited 10 seconds and started swinging. I wouldn't even dare say something like that over the phone...LOL

I was like you, but I realized that if you don't speak your mind you will never achieve anything with people.
Plus I will fight her because I want her to see the wrongness of her ways. As long as we live under the same roof I will keep pushing her.

[seven2go]

Did you REALLY tell your mother to shut the fuck up?.......

If you actually did.......... .......15 seconds after that remark without an apology you'd be on the outside looking out.
Your Mom has remarkable restraint.......I'll give her that.

[Coward92]

Did you REALLY tell your mother to shut the fuck up?.......

If you actually did.......... .......15 seconds after that remark without an apology you'd be on the outside looking out.
Your Mom has remarkable restraint.......I'll give her that.

I just told her to be quiet because I didn't finish and that my knowledge on the subject is more relevant since I actually studied the subject unlike her.

I didn' actually tell her to shut the fuck up I just told her to stay quiet until I finish. Of course she was offended.

[Ganoderma]

hi Coward92,

It is easy to understand why your mother reacted so badly when you started with this debate. People like her are very well aware that they are using the bible on a selective way, meaning that they pretend that they are not aware of the many unpleasant parts in the bible (eg about killing your own kids, about slavery, etc.).

So she is very well aware that she will always loose any debate with you (or with any other person who knows what's written in the bible, and that people like her always use the bible on a selective way).

So please go on with this kind of debates with her, and be aware that you will win any debate (especially when she refuses to debate with you). No need to continue the debate with her when she does not like to continue, but just make a note that she has lost again.

Please be aware that she has a problem, and don't let her rule the way how you want to live your own life.

Good luck & take care.

[Coward92]

hi Coward92,

It is easy to understand why your mother reacted so badly when you started with this debate. People like her are very well aware that they are using the bible on a selective way, meaning that they pretend that they are not aware of the many unpleasant parts in the bible (eg about killing your own kids, about slavery, etc.).

So she is very well aware that she will always loose any debate with you (or with any other person who knows what's written in the bible, and that people like her always use the bible on a selective way).

So please go on with this kind of debates with her, and be aware that you will win any debate (especially when she refuses to debate with you). No need to continue the debate with her when she does not like to continue, but just make a note that she has lost again.

Please be aware that she has a problem, and don't let her rule the way how you want to live your own life.

Good luck & take care.

I keep pushing the limits here. The whole family is conservative and they are ashamed of me.
Which is funny because I didn't do anything that would give reason for this and shame is for children anyways.

[Brian Smith]

It sounds like you have been subjected to a degree of spiritual abuse.

[Nishin]

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...Right-to-Judge

[Coward92]

It sounds like you have been subjected to a degree of spiritual abuse.

We all are.
Some of us just tries to find a way out and take the real values with us.
However it is truly hard to make other people see when they willingly close their eyes. I pretty much feel like that I will have to be extreemely agressive and threatening to achieve the desired effect. I am also sure that it will be a very slow fight which will consume much energy.

[Brian Smith]

We all are.
Some of us just tries to find a way out and take the real values with us.
However it is truly hard to make other people see when they willingly close their eyes. I pretty much feel like that I will have to be extreemely agressive and threatening to achieve the desired effect. I am also sure that it will be a very slow fight which will consume much energy.

I don't have any better ideas. I know that that one sucks, but all the rest of them suck just as bad or worse. If it requires anything but patience and sacrifice, it sucks. If it smells like a magic remedy, it sucks leper's ass, but you probably knew that much.

Eventually, my father started looking more shame-faced every time I saw him. He started into self-flagellation at one point, but I just told him to cut it out. I never wanted to see him kick his own ass, and the idea of him doing so just disgusts me. When I realized that I felt that way, I realized that I was only angry because I was so damn frustrated. I never hated him, and it never did anything for me to see him hurt.

It was my partner who saved my relationship with him. He forced me to start trying to make overtures to put things back together. It's working, too. Every visit, we have more of those moments when I feel for a fleeting moment like I'm ten years old, and he's the father I knew, teaching his son how to love powerful machines and the outdoors. He looks beautiful then. He looks young again.

Just let me tell you, if you ever do hear her say "I'm sorry," you will just wish she hadn't. You'll just think, "don't be sorry, you bitch. Just get it right. Be my mom again."

[Coward92]

I don't have any better ideas. I know that that one sucks, but all the rest of them suck just as bad or worse. If it requires anything but patience and sacrifice, it sucks. If it smells like a magic remedy, it sucks leper's ass, but you probably knew that much.

Eventually, my father started looking more shame-faced every time I saw him. He started into self-flagellation at one point, but I just told him to cut it out. I never wanted to see him kick his own ass, and the idea of him doing so just disgusts me. When I realized that I felt that way, I realized that I was only angry because I was so damn frustrated. I never hated him, and it never did anything for me to see him hurt.

It was my partner who saved my relationship with him. He forced me to start trying to make overtures to put things back together. It's working, too. Every visit, we have more of those moments when I feel for a fleeting moment like I'm ten years old, and he's the father I knew, teaching his son how to love powerful machines and the outdoors. He looks beautiful then. He looks young again.

Just let me tell you, if you ever do hear her say "I'm sorry," you will just wish she hadn't. You'll just think, "don't be sorry, you bitch. Just get it right. Be my mom again."

Your story is touching. Thank you for telling
I hope I can work it out with my parents one day too.