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  1. #201
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Because it's raining men. Hallelujah.

  2. #202

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    Seriously? YIKES!

    Honestly? Because it matters. If you've had hundreds of partners.. what does that mean? That you can't stay with someone long? That you have an insatiable sexual appetite? That you do not care about the safety of your body?
    There is SOMETHING amiss there. Now if you go through a phase early in your gay life where you were promiscuous I understand. However, serial promiscuity is just as bad as serial dating. Anything in excess is somewhat odd.


    ^^This is what YOU said. You also went on to describe people as hedonists with no self control. How can you say you don't "assume" anything?
    Please show me where I described anyone as hedonists with self-control. Please! lol.

    And I already clarified that what you just put in bold is what people often think when looking for a partner. I have no problem with anyone who is promiscuous for whatever reason.

  3. #203

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by FlimFlam View Post
    Please show me where I described anyone as hedonists with self-control. Please! lol.

    And I already clarified that what you just put in bold is what people often think when looking for a partner. I have no problem with anyone who is promiscuous for whatever reason.
    WOW...read what you said...again....you said you don't assume anything...you obviously DO assume...alot....

    You assumed something is amiss with someone who has a multitude of sexual partners...or that something is odd...and you are talking about me and alot of other people here. You are the one who is "odd" when you can't even comprehend what you have written.

    We're not all the same just as those who have tons of partners are not all hedonists with no self control.

    Your words. You assume that some people who have multiple partners are hedonists with no self control. And you know this...how? By assuming...alot.

  4. #204
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlimFlam View Post

    Please show me where I described anyone as hedonists with self-control. Please! lol.

    And I already clarified that what you just put in bold is what people often think when looking for a partner. I have no problem with anyone who is promiscuous for whatever reason.
    Well, my second paragraph was also not about you, but that didn't prevent you from taking it personally.

    Seriously, some people's "I overcame my gay disadvantage and now I'm all about love and commitment" stance makes me think of "ex-gays"...
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  5. #205
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    seeing this thread for the first time.
    i read somewhere that homosexual and bisexual men have higher average plasma testosterone levels than heterosexual males (sucking dick makes you more of a man, endocrinologically speaking, ). and the more T or DHT you give an animal, the more 'male-like' it behaves (more frequent self-urination in rams, more territorial activity in geckos, and higher instances of mounting - attempted sex). this holds true for intake males, castrated males, and females. so if more T means more attempts at sex, and if gay guys have more T, a=b b=c, gay guys should fuck more. while more frequent sex is still possible in a monogamous relationship, it means when you (or i, for that matter; ive been called a manwhore by several girls and one guy before) are between partners, you might be more likely to engage in casual sex.

    but this whole logic of mine hinges on the T levels of gay/bisexual guys. and that is the one bit of science i mentioned that i do not have a primary source for. so it might be false.

  6. #206

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    To find a close relationship with anybody, you need a common intrest other than sex, a bonding agent, otherwise all tou want is a better fuck. Sts have making kids, so gays need a common hobby.

  7. #207
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    I assume that some most many people with a very long list of partners are hedonists with no self control. I don't always like hedonists. But when I do, I like them when they have self control.

  8. #208

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    I would love to fuck the blonde.

  9. #209

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    I assume that some most many people with a very long list of partners are hedonists with no self control. I don't always like hedonists. But when I do, I like them when they have self control.
    Glad you own it.

  10. #210
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    I assume that some most many people with a very long list of partners are hedonists with no self control. I don't always like hedonists. But when I do, I like them when they have self control.
    This statement could be turned right around on its face and we could say-- and it would be true-- that some probably not accurately measurable portion of men with low numbers of sex partners fall into one of these categories:

    a) are uncomfortable with sex or their own sexuality
    b) have some kind of psychological sex-guilt imposed by abstract concepts of Judeo-Christian morality in western societies
    c) have low self esteem
    d) are in the closet and have difficulty in finding partners

    I can go on the net any day of the week and find tons of males of any and every sexual orientation who are either virgins or have had a miniscule number of clumsy, awkward sexual experiences-- to presume that all of these people are better-adjusted individuals with superior morals or superior self-control is absolutely ridiculous. I would feel more than safe in saying that most men I know of BOTH sexual orientations (gay and straight) who have a tiny number of sex partners are in that state involuntarily-- either because they cannot find many willing partners or are unattactive or socially impaired in some manner-- not because of some higher moral fiber in their character that dissuaded them from pursuing more.

  11. #211
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Well yeah. I suppose it's more of an observation than an assumption. I take people as they come (heh) so I wouldn't assume that about an individual. But I think it is fair comment on promiscuous people overall. On the hole. (Heh)

  12. #212
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    Well yeah. I suppose it's more of an observation than an assumption. I take people as they come (heh) so I wouldn't assume that about an individual. But I think it is fair comment on promiscuous people overall. On the hole. (Heh)
    I just think we could just as easily sit and have a discussion where we draw a line and say the people who stop eating just before they're full are normal, and the people who stop eating when they're stuffed are hedonists. But we don't care, because our Judeo Christian inspired sense of western morality hasn't imbued in us the sense that consumption modesty is as important morally as sexual modesty.

  13. #213
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post

    This statement could be turned right around on its face and we could say-- and it would be true-- that some probably not accurately measurable portion of men with low numbers of sex partners fall into one of these categories:

    a) are uncomfortable with sex or their own sexuality
    b) have some kind of psychological sex-guilt imposed by abstract concepts of Judeo-Christian morality in western societies
    c) have low self esteem
    d) are in the closet and have difficulty in finding partners

    I can go on the net any day of the week and find tons of males of any and every sexual orientation who are either virgins or have had a miniscule number of clumsy, awkward sexual experiences-- to presume that all of these people are better-adjusted individuals with superior morals or superior self-control is absolutely ridiculous. I would feel more than safe in saying that most men I know of BOTH sexual orientations (gay and straight) who have a tiny number of sex partners are in that state involuntarily-- either because they cannot find many willing partners or are unattactive or socially impaired in some manner-- not because of some higher moral fiber in their character that dissuaded them from pursuing more.
    Omg so much truth!
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  14. #214
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    You know a lot of women lie about their number of partners (saying it's less) because people see it more so as a bad thing for them to have had many partners compared to men (kinda fucked up since most men have just sex with women).

    Are we reaching the point of gay men doing the same?

    (I won't though because I wouldn't be able to be with someone who doesn't let me be myself)

  15. #215
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    I've slept with more than a 100 and to be honest it makes me really sad and frustrated that it's enough for people to label me as "not relationship material" like it somehow makes me a worse lover. Just because I can see love and sex as two separate things it does not mean I have any less love to give or don't want to settle down.

    I just don't see a reason to hold back while I'm single. I'm a young male and I have urges to have sex on a regular basis. I would love to be in a loving relationship where I would always have sex with the same person but while I'm single I still need sex. Yes I've tried the whole friends with benefits thing but it has never worked for me longer than couple of months because it always ends up with me or the other guy developing romantic feelings (without getting it back).

    And yes the view of a person being somehow less pure... more dirty... because he has had many sex partners... the roots of that in the western world is mostly from Christianity there is no doubt about that. It really has fucked up peoples view on the human body and sex.
    Personally, I wouldn't dismiss someone as "not relationship material" simply because they had a sizable number of sex partners. However, it would mean that I would have to work a lot harder to keep the relationship going. The health part goes without saying of course (i.e. getting tested soon and regularly.) The worst part of it would be that it would mean trust would take a longer time to build. I would have to get over that voice in the back of my head asking things like "can he really turn it on and off just like that?", "will I measure up to the 100+ other guys he's been with?", and "is he really working late or does he have his secret Grindr account?" Granted, there are plenty of people out there who may never think that, but it's my thought process and so it's the perspective I have.

    I would definitely attribute it to past relationships in which I got involved with a self-confessed "former" promiscuous person, failed to ask those types of questions OR did ask them and gave the guy the benefit of the doubt, and got burned in the end. If anything, I would say that my view of the situation isn't colored by Christianity, but by past experiences that have made me want to avoid being what it is that hurt me. Multiple experiences have shown me that guys who were promiscuous before they entered into the relationship tend to want to remain promiscuous in the relationship. It doesn't make me dismiss them as broken, immoral, or not dating material, but it does make me give extra pause and consideration to various behaviors they have during the relationship. One huge step towards building that trust with me that I find lacking (and what caused me to create this topic) was that it was hard to find a guy who didn't want to have sex on the first date/meeting/chance encounter/etc.

  16. #216
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    So basically it's more about your insecurity and poor choice of dating prospects rather than the level of promiscuity?
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  17. #217

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    Personally, I wouldn't dismiss someone as "not relationship material" simply because they had a sizable number of sex partners. However, it would mean that I would have to work a lot harder to keep the relationship going. The health part goes without saying of course (i.e. getting tested soon and regularly.) The worst part of it would be that it would mean trust would take a longer time to build. I would have to get over that voice in the back of my head asking things like "can he really turn it on and off just like that?", "will I measure up to the 100+ other guys he's been with?", and "is he really working late or does he have his secret Grindr account?" Granted, there are plenty of people out there who may never think that, but it's my thought process and so it's the perspective I have.

    I would definitely attribute it to past relationships in which I got involved with a self-confessed "former" promiscuous person, failed to ask those types of questions OR did ask them and gave the guy the benefit of the doubt, and got burned in the end. If anything, I would say that my view of the situation isn't colored by Christianity, but by past experiences that have made me want to avoid being what it is that hurt me. Multiple experiences have shown me that guys who were promiscuous before they entered into the relationship tend to want to remain promiscuous in the relationship. It doesn't make me dismiss them as broken, immoral, or not dating material, but it does make me give extra pause and consideration to various behaviors they have during the relationship. One huge step towards building that trust with me that I find lacking (and what caused me to create this topic) was that it was hard to find a guy who didn't want to have sex on the first date/meeting/chance encounter/etc.
    Funny thing...I had the opposite concern. I am bluntly honest with my partners and if they are at all "worried about me" it saves me some time because I have no room for insecure or jealous types and I will never promise fidelity to anyone anyway...I instead promise honesty. I had my share of critics but oddly enough...I have had a great monogamous 26+ year relationship that works very nicely and the critics....eh...not so much.

    I used to try really hard to put my worst foot forward. You will never get a hallmark moment from me. I had lots of guys at any given time who wanted to date me (I worked in a gay bar...it comes with the territory) but I was the date from hell and I did it on purpose so I could weed out people who had zero empathy or didn't tune in to other people...I am not compatible at all with them and since so many people lie to themselves and each other initially I had to figure it out before wasting my time. I am definitely a free spirit and anyone who feels the needs to control other people is not for me.

    When someone did want to date me I used to tell them we would have to fuck first because if we didn't fuck I wouldn't waste my time pretending to like them to get into bed with them.

    I am quite proud of my life. I was true to myself...that is the definition of success in my mind.

  18. #218
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Haha, I never promise fidelity either, because I find the need to do it offensive. If i am officially with someone, fidelity is to be assumed, and anything else needs to be discussed.

    But I definitely respect your bluntness. It seems to have worked out
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  19. #219
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    The worst part of it would be that it would mean trust would take a longer time to build. I would have to get over that voice in the back of my head asking things like "can he really turn it on and off just like that?", "will I measure up to the 100+ other guys he's been with?", and "is he really working late or does he have his secret Grindr account?" Granted, there are plenty of people out there who may never think that, but it's my thought process and so it's the perspective I have.
    Well at least you are honest about your prejudices and insecurity.

    You know on the other side there is also the people who cheat because they never had their wild era (especially people who get married young / have been long term with someone since their teen years/young adulthood). I'm not a fan of putting people in boxes and then judging them based on that so I try to stay away from this type of mindset. I hope someday you will too.

  20. #220
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    Well at least you are honest about your prejudices and insecurity.

    You know on the other side there is also the people who cheat because they never had their wild era (especially people who get married young / have been long term with someone since their teen years/young adulthood). I'm not a fan of putting people in boxes and then judging them based on that so I try to stay away from this type of mindset. I hope someday you will too.
    Yeah, like Buzzer also pointed out, it's very easy to find serious negative stereotypes for the non-promiscuous types. Which is why we should be careful not to do that
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  21. #221
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    This statement could be turned right around on its face and we could say-- and it would be true-- that some probably not accurately measurable portion of men with low numbers of sex partners fall into one of these categories:

    a) are uncomfortable with sex or their own sexuality
    b) have some kind of psychological sex-guilt imposed by abstract concepts of Judeo-Christian morality in western societies
    c) have low self esteem
    d) are in the closet and have difficulty in finding partners


    Nnnnnnnn what kind of backfire.


    This thread just keeps giving



    What's wrong with having Christian values, though?


    Have they ever lead us astray?

  22. #222
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalFudge View Post
    Nnnnnnnn what kind of backfire.


    This thread just keeps giving



    What's wrong with having Christian values, though?


    Have they ever lead us astray?
    Haha, I SALTS'd at that
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  23. #223
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    Well at least you are honest about your prejudices and insecurity.

    You know on the other side there is also the people who cheat because they never had their wild era (especially people who get married young / have been long term with someone since their teen years/young adulthood). I'm not a fan of putting people in boxes and then judging them based on that so I try to stay away from this type of mindset. I hope someday you will too.
    And there are those who don't cheat and never have a wild era. There are people of all kinds out there.

    And while you may not put people in boxes and judge them based on their sexual experience, you do put people in boxes and judge them on other criteria. Everyone judges others when it comes to something like a relationship which is based heavily on personal preference. So while I may use your history of who you have slept with when it comes to making relationship decisions, that's where it ends. If I met you on the street, I could give two shits about how many guys you've been with. When it comes to being friends with someone, again, I don't care what your background is in sexual activities. However, when it comes to a relationship, that's when that starts becoming a consideration. I think everyone in here has posted indicating that they have some prejudice(s) when it comes to relationships, so I don't see anything wrong with having those.

  24. #224
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    And there are those who don't cheat and never have a wild era. There are people of all kinds out there.

    And while you may not put people in boxes and judge them based on their sexual experience, you do put people in boxes and judge them on other criteria. Everyone judges others when it comes to something like a relationship which is based heavily on personal preference. So while I may use your history of who you have slept with when it comes to making relationship decisions, that's where it ends. If I met you on the street, I could give two shits about how many guys you've been with. When it comes to being friends with someone, again, I don't care what your background is in sexual activities. However, when it comes to a relationship, that's when that starts becoming a consideration. I think everyone in here has posted indicating that they have some prejudice(s) when it comes to relationships, so I don't see anything wrong with having those.
    Sometimes they're not "prejudices" though, but "assessments."

  25. #225
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    The health part goes without saying of course (i.e. getting tested soon and regularly.) The worst part of it would be that it would mean trust would take a longer time to build. I would have to get over that voice in the back of my head asking things like "can he really turn it on and off just like that?", "will I measure up to the 100+ other guys he's been with?", and "is he really working late or does he have his secret Grindr account?" Granted, there are plenty of people out there who may never think that, but it's my thought process and so it's the perspective I have.
    I see these as valid worries.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  26. #226
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    btw, have we all come to an 'agreement' on what qualifies as promiscuity?

    I never considered myself myself as such during my single years...but I'm interested in hearing if I qualify(ied) or not...
    I was kinda bad...
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promiscuity

  27. #227
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    btw, have we all come to an 'agreement' on what qualifies as promiscuity?

    I never considered myself myself as such during my single years...but I'm interested in hearing if I qualify(ied) or not...
    I was kinda bad...
    I don't think you can put a number on it, though I'm sure the usual people assume I do.

  28. #228
    JUB Addict Stoowii's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    btw, have we all come to an 'agreement' on what qualifies as promiscuity?

    I never considered myself myself as such during my single years...but I'm interested in hearing if I qualify(ied) or not...
    I was kinda bad...
    Ditto.

    I'm 26 and have had sex with 9 different men since the age 17. Does that make me a Whore-or-scope?

  29. #229

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    btw, have we all come to an 'agreement' on what qualifies as promiscuity?
    I never considered myself myself as such during my single years...but I'm interested in hearing if I qualify(ied) or not...
    I was kinda bad...
    I think promiscuity is something that we need to define for ourselves.....

    I defined myelf as a slut once upon a time...and I had alot of self respect. I have to chuckle when people equate other people's sexuality with a lack of self respect. The only time I didn't have self respect was when I compromised myself to fit into someone else's idea of who I should be.

  30. #230
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    And while you may not put people in boxes and judge them based on their sexual experience, you do put people in boxes and judge them on other criteria. Everyone judges others when it comes to something like a relationship which is based heavily on personal preference.
    You flat out said you would be more worried about them cheating on you.

    Sure you can call it preference but it's still based on prejudges.

    And just because we all do it it doesn't mean we shouldn't try to limit it and criticize those who go overboard with it.

  31. #231
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoowii View Post
    Ditto.

    I'm 26 and have had sex with 9 different men since the age 17. Does that make me a Whore-or-scope?
    Yeah, you're kinda... not really close

    - - - Updated - - -

    And so far the only relevant definition of "promiscuous" I've ever heard, is "Someone who has more sex than I do".
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  32. #232
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    Yeah, you're kinda... not really close

    - - - Updated - - -

    And so far the only relevant definition of "promiscuous" I've ever heard, is "Someone who has more sex than I do".
    There's an adage in the gamer community:

    "Anyone not as good as me is a noob. Anyone better than me has no life."

    It seems analagous here.

  33. #233
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    @OP: The reason why there is a substantial percentage of promiscuous gay men is because when you get two (Or more ) ghey men in a room, there is no one there to say no.



    Do I win the thread?

  34. #234
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    a ifs man a drink wata threw nose ans 1 dude use mouth

    it make good why fa worlds awsums spend 100000 yrs on?

    this was nice

    exit right

    thankyou
    here wite bit apapa burtt it not it blue here yelloa bita papa burtt it not it pink
    "burtt it not papa" vary gurd_tittars_

  35. #235
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    When the vast majority of one's family, friends, co-workers, and all are going to harshly judge any acknowledged relationship with another male, it makes a one-night-stand all the more easier of a decision.

    In other words, what difference does it make?

  36. #236
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalFudge View Post
    @OP: The reason why there is a substantial percentage of promiscuous gay men is because when you get two (Or more ) ghey men in a room, there is no one there to say no.



    Do I win the thread?
    You win

  37. #237
    JUB Addict MorrisseyX's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrock-JD View Post
    When the vast majority of one's family, friends, co-workers, and all are going to harshly judge any acknowledged relationship with another male, it makes a one-night-stand all the more easier of a decision.

    In other words, what difference does it make?
    I think this is an interesting comment, I don't know about the other guys on this board but although I am out to my family the only person who asks me about my personal life is my sister. We are around the same age. However, my parents never ask me if I have a boyfriend they know I am gay but they certainly don't want to see me bring a man over for Christmas dinner or Thanksgiving dinner. I know my folks would not approve of that. My parents tolerate me being gay but they certainly don't want to see it in front of their face.

    So, I think for myself and maybe for some other gay men maybe sleeping around is a way to compensate for these feelings.

    I personally would rather not have to go to a bathhouse to get laid or get a blow job but I get horny and I get frustrated with the online crap.

    I would like to meet someone one day and have a serious relationship but I'm 36 years old and I am starting to think about it more and more. I read stories on this site about people falling in love and being in happy relationships and it helps me to feel hopeful that maybe one day I can have this. I don't even care if I dated someone for even one year but it would be nice to have someone special one day.

    But as of right now, a part of me feels maybe I am too much a dreamer, to think at 36 I can really meet someone when I haven't really had a serious relationship as an adult.
    Last edited by MorrisseyX; March 13th, 2013 at 01:04 PM.

  38. #238
    JUB Addict EuroSoccer's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalFudge View Post
    @OP: The reason why there is a substantial percentage of promiscuous gay men is because when you get two (Or more ) ghey men in a room, there is no one there to say no.



    Do I win the thread?

  39. #239
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    I'm not buying the whole gays are more promiscuous because we are judged by others. In fact plenty of guys try not to be because it's a "negative stereotype".

    I think the simple explanation of it being two (or more) men weighs the most. Because of biological reasons men are more likely to have promiscuous urges but the difference is that it's easier for gay men to act on it than for straight men.

  40. #240
    JUB Addict MorrisseyX's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    I'm not buying the whole gays are more promiscuous because we are judged by others. In fact plenty of guys try not to be because it's a "negative stereotype".

    I think the simple explanation of it being two (or more) men weighs the most. Because of biological reasons men are more likely to have promiscuous urges but the difference is that it's easier for gay men to act on it than for straight men.
    I think there also social reasons that need to be considered though in relation to gay men being promiscious. Although most western countries now have a more relaxed and accepting attitude towards homosexuality there is still a social stigma about being gay in some families.

    Gayle Rubin, wrote an essay about different hierachies about sexuality and their acceptability in society a couple of decades ago. Lauren Berlant has also written about hierachies about sexuality and how people negotiate their sexuality in sub cultures since the mainstream still has a problem with homosexuality.

    Society does allow gay men to sleep around more at least in the western world but I don't think it always relates to sexual freedom or choice. I do think an underlying reason is about feelings of shame which I think some gay men find difficult to discuss about.

    Also, you don't see lesbians cruising in the park, or in public washrooms, or doing the kind of things gay men do. Since lesbians are also women if they took the kind of risks in public gay men do they could be sexually assaulted. I think female sexuality is judged more harshly than male sexuality. Heterosexual women who sleep around are slut shamed and considered fallen women. Even if a straight woman uses condoms, birth control, practices safer sex if people find out she sleeps around she's seen as a slut by some people.
    Last edited by MorrisseyX; March 13th, 2013 at 03:15 PM.

  41. #241
    JUB Addict kayman23's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Oh, the irony and timing of this column on the Huffington Post...

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charle...b_2852766.html

    Last edited by kayman23; March 13th, 2013 at 05:51 PM.

  42. #242
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by kayman23 View Post
    Oh, the irony and timing of this column on the Huffington Post...

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charle...b_2852766.html



    I stopped reading @ "As gay men"


  43. #243
    JUB Addict kayman23's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    People act as if fuck buddies are the most accessible things ever. The only time I've had one, that guy ended up catching feelings over time and it ended up a mess.

    For the record, I find that I lose attraction to guys over time when I'm fucking them repeatedly. I find more excitement in newness.



    LOL. Right?
    You can't get a fuck buddy? In the words of Ludacris "You ain't doing it right..."

    I can get a fuckbuddy with a snap of my fingers, and I'm not even trying 9 out 10 times. Also I lay out the ground rules initially and usually have him around for months and he doesn't catch feelings. You must be messing with wrong type of dudes. LOL

  44. #244
    JUB Addict MorrisseyX's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by kayman23 View Post
    You can't get a fuck buddy? In the words of Ludacris "You ain't doing it right..."

    I can get a fuckbuddy with a snap of my fingers, and I'm not even trying 9 out 10 times. Also I lay out the ground rules initially and usually have him around for months and he doesn't catch feelings. You must be messing with wrong type of dudes. LOL
    Or maybe your fuckbuddy is denying his true feelings for you by supressing them in order to have sex with you and contact with you. How can you really know what another person is truly feeling? Maybe your fuckbuddy figures over time something more might happen? People someitmes get into fuckbuddy situations because they truly believe they can handle or hang around because they figure the person they like might eventually change his mind.
    Last edited by MorrisseyX; March 13th, 2013 at 06:06 PM.

  45. #245
    JUB Addict kayman23's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by MorrisseyX View Post
    Or maybe your fuckbuddy is denying his true feelings for you by supressing them in order to have sex with you and contact with you. How can you really know what another person is truly feeling? Maybe your fuckbuddy figures over time something more might happen? People someitmes get into fuckbuddy situations because they truly believe they can handle or hang around because they figure the person they like might eventually change his mind.
    Maybe so, but when I hear excuses like what were given I call them a "cop out".

    You cannot get mad if you knew what was going on the beginning. As a rule goes, "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free" so if you wanted a relationship then why give up the ass or dick from the jump?

  46. #246
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    It's pretty common for people to want more with their fuckbuddy but they know (or at least think) that the other one doesn't want more so they don't tell them so they can continue to meet them. The whole "better than nothing" attitude which eventually becomes too difficult and they have to end it. Some tell the person before ending it, others just silently distance themselves.

    It is common for people to develop feelings for their friends with benefits and sadly it's often one sided. I wouldn't be surprised if it happens half the time (when you have done for a long period of time).

    Worth the risk though...
    Last edited by Laufey; March 13th, 2013 at 07:18 PM.

  47. #247
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by MorrisseyX View Post
    I think this is an interesting comment, I don't know about the other guys on this board but although I am out to my family the only person who asks me about my personal life is my sister. We are around the same age. However, my parents never ask me if I have a boyfriend they know I am gay but they certainly don't want to see me bring a man over for Christmas dinner or Thanksgiving dinner. I know my folks would not approve of that. My parents tolerate me being gay but they certainly don't want to see it in front of their face.

    So, I think for myself and maybe for some other gay men maybe sleeping around is a way to compensate for these feelings.

    I personally would rather not have to go to a bathhouse to get laid or get a blow job but I get horny and I get frustrated with the online crap.

    I would like to meet someone one day and have a serious relationship but I'm 36 years old and I am starting to think about it more and more. I read stories on this site about people falling in love and being in happy relationships and it helps me to feel hopeful that maybe one day I can have this. I don't even care if I dated someone for even one year but it would be nice to have someone special one day.

    But as of right now, a part of me feels maybe I am too much a dreamer, to think at 36 I can really meet someone when I haven't really had a serious relationship as an adult.
    Just because others don't accept us doesn't mean we aren't capable of a loving monogamous relationship. Go find what your heart wants. You deserve it.

    I wish you all the best.

  48. #248
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Lol at "catching" feelings like its an infection or something.

  49. #249
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    ^ That's what I thought too, but actually I think it is... love is like a mental disorder

  50. #250
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Well don't take friends with benefits so literary.

    Its not a good idea to make an actual friend your fuck buddy. It's best that it's that way from the start and that you only meet that person for sex rather than hanging out with him socially.

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