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  1. #101
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe5 View Post
    As if we men are some kind of animal that operates solely on instinct? I feel a bit of repulsion towards someone who's had a very large number of sex partners, as it shows a lack of self-control. Hell, I'm single but I don't go fucking around with every available Tom, Dick, and Harry just because I happen to be horny.

    Once you've given that most intimate part of yourself to countless random men, what do you have left to give to a significant other?
    I'm sorry, I have no choice but to call utter bullshit to this. Sex is two things - a physical and an emotional experience. YOU have chosen to see the physical as an equivalency of the emotional, but they are separate. They can work together, but one does not imply the other. What "most intimate part" of myself do I give a guy I have sex with for fun? My dick? My ass? My mouth? Those see so many non-intimate uses on a 24/7 basis, that I can't imagine that's what you meant. WHOEVER has the right to say that sex is only "right" if there is strong emotion involved? It is a physical activity involving another person, so the emotional element is always there, but it can be pure chemistry with no romance whatsoever. You don't need to Like someone to like them enough to have sex with them, unless you have decided to build your values like that.

    You keep talking as if OBJECTIVELY it's "right" to stay celibate and/or have very few partners (in your derisive description of those who don't do it, and your assumption that someone will respect you more for being single yet denying yourself sex), and it is "wrong" to have sex with many people. Others' value systems and more importantly - their perception of what something means - are completely different, and this isn't an excuse for you to say "well then we wouldn't match", it's a reason to say "well, just because my value system wouldn't allow that, doesn't mean they follow it and therefore are consciously doing a bad thing". They see different things in what they are doing, it means different things for them.

    When I have sex with someone, it can be special, or it can just be pleasurable. There is always mutual respect and appreciation, there's never a demeaning factor involved. Who the hell are you to be judging this as unacceptable?
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  2. #102
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbeltninja View Post
    I didn't say gay guys don't deserve to get married. I do however struggle to see the point of fighting to get gay marriage legitimised (and insisting on calling it marriage and not a civil partnership or something else) if the guys are going just going to use it as a tax-dodge and a way to cut their living costs.
    The fact that you do not seem as bent about the concept of straight couples "using marriage to tax dodge" (which I do not believe is anyone's legitimate reason for having gotten married, in many cases there isn't even a noticeable savings of any sort depending on the incomes of the couple in question) but this is how you view a gay couple's likely reason for wanting to have access to full equal legal marriage rights shows a strong bias on your part, one that dismisses that gay couples are as real or as worthy, or which assumes that they're after some "other purpose" other than wanting a full legal marriage.

    Frankly, no one has to come in front of you as lord-advocate and get your blessing for their marriage or their reasons for getting married, nor should they have to-- neither heterosexual nor homosexual.

    P.S. If these "fringe benefits" of getting married were so worth it all by themselves there's absolutely no reason all of us wouldn't have just married single friends of the opposite sex in the meanwhile until we find our "real partners." The concept that people do it just for tax shelter or whatever is pretty stupid.
    Last edited by xbuzzerx; March 9th, 2013 at 01:13 PM.

  3. #103
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?


  4. #104
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe5 View Post
    Once you've given that most intimate part of yourself to countless random men, what do you have left to give to a significant other?
    I feel this way most times.

    It has to mean something for me.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  5. #105
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    I feel this way most times.

    It has to mean something for me.
    And that's PERFECTLY ok, but it should also come with the understanding that other people see it differently, and not judge them, as if they TOO need it to mean something, but for some reason ignore that need and demean themselves or something.

    For myself, I have two sets of sexual experiences. One that is related to casual sex, and one for when serious emotion is involved. One does not flow into the other. When I am single, sex is one thing. When I'm not, it's another. If anything, it adds a variety of experiences.
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  6. #106
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    And that's PERFECTLY ok, but it should also come with the understanding that other people see it differently, and not judge them, as if they TOO need it to mean something, but for some reason ignore that need and demean themselves or something.

    For myself, I have two sets of sexual experiences. One that is related to casual sex, and one for when serious emotion is involved. One does not flow into the other. When I am single, sex is one thing. When I'm not, it's another. If anything, it adds a variety of experiences.
    So I definitely respect both views on the situation and I try not to judge others on their lifestyle decisions. One thing that I do wonder about though is if the attitude towards sexual encounters is inversely proportional to the effort put into maintaining a committed relationship. So would someone who has has a sizable number of sexual encounters be as motivated to attempt to make a long term relationship work as someone who doesn't have as many?

    I can use myself as an example. You could count the number of sexual partners that I have had in the low teens. I know that when I am in the situation of a relationship, I want to work hard to make it work because I don't have the knowledge or experience of being able to easily drop back to a single life of casual sexual encounters to fulfill sexual needs that I get from a relationship. Large number of sexual encounters also sets a high bar for expected sexual performance in a relationship. Given that sex is an important part of a relationship, will someone with lots of sexual encounters have a higher standard of what to expect than a person without as many and will that affect the relationship? While I don't believe that the two ideas (promiscuity versus desire for a relationship) are completely dependent on each other, I also don't believe they are mutually exclusive either. I personally feel that there is some effect on both the desire and the determination for a committed relationship that is realized from having an increasing number of casual sexual encounters and I was just wondering if that is actually the case or if I have just been unfortunate enough to meet the wrong people.

    I'm just trying to gauge the feelings of others when it comes to the number of sex partners and promiscuity versus the desire for a committed relationship. Is there a difference?

  7. #107
    JUB Addict kayman23's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    I feel this way most times.

    It has to mean something for me.
    Ok, me as well...

  8. #108
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    So I definitely respect both views on the situation and I try not to judge others on their lifestyle decisions. One thing that I do wonder about though is if the attitude towards sexual encounters is inversely proportional to the effort put into maintaining a committed relationship. So would someone who has has a sizable number of sexual encounters be as motivated to attempt to make a long term relationship work as someone who doesn't have as many?

    I can use myself as an example. You could count the number of sexual partners that I have had in the low teens. I know that when I am in the situation of a relationship, I want to work hard to make it work because I don't have the knowledge or experience of being able to easily drop back to a single life of casual sexual encounters to fulfill sexual needs that I get from a relationship. Large number of sexual encounters also sets a high bar for expected sexual performance in a relationship. Given that sex is an important part of a relationship, will someone with lots of sexual encounters have a higher standard of what to expect than a person without as many and will that affect the relationship? While I don't believe that the two ideas (promiscuity versus desire for a relationship) are completely dependent on each other, I also don't believe they are mutually exclusive either. I personally feel that there is some effect on both the desire and the determination for a committed relationship that is realized from having an increasing number of casual sexual encounters and I was just wondering if that is actually the case or if I have just been unfortunate enough to meet the wrong people.

    I'm just trying to gauge the feelings of others when it comes to the number of sex partners and promiscuity versus the desire for a committed relationship. Is there a difference?
    Well, to answer both things:

    1. To me casual sex and dating aren't two worlds separated by a dimensional wall. They coexist and mingle. My most serious relationship started as a hook up, and I am hardly unique in that. Casual sex isn't something that you start doing when single, then stop, then enter a relationship and have a completely different life. Casual sex is a byproduct of a sexually free interaction with new people or people you've established a stable non-romantic relationship with. The ONLY difference, really, is the sex. If you meet a guy in a bar, and quickly decide he isn't a dating prospect, but you chat a bit, have a drink or two, maybe flirt a little casually, and then never meet again (or meet again in a friendly capacity), the ONLY difference between you and the "promiscuous" types is that you didn't have sex with him. There is not some giant psychological difference in outlook, people who have casual sex aren't a separate species of humanity or a separate culture. They just don't think sex is such a big deal in and of itself.

    2. In my experience sex is good or bad. Good sex can be amazing, mind-blowing, great or just nice, but it's never bad. Only bad sex is bad. And despite popular (among people who don't hook up) opinion, one-time sex acts don't really build experience that much. Yeah, you've experienced a ton of different "flavors", but very superficially. Actual sexual experience is gained through multiple repeats with the same person. Which would be why I'm always in favor of friends with benefits vs. hook ups with new people.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  9. #109
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe5 View Post
    As if we men are some kind of animal that operates solely on instinct? I feel a bit of repulsion towards someone who's had a very large number of sex partners, as it shows a lack of self-control. Hell, I'm single but I don't go fucking around with every available Tom, Dick, and Harry just because I happen to be horny.

    Once you've given that most intimate part of yourself to countless random men, what do you have left to give to a significant other?
    Are you saying you are not animal ?
    How wrong of you.


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  10. #110
    Sex God backagain's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    Well, to answer both things:

    1. To me casual sex and dating aren't two worlds separated by a dimensional wall. They coexist and mingle. My most serious relationship started as a hook up, and I am hardly unique in that. Casual sex isn't something that you start doing when single, then stop, then enter a relationship and have a completely different life. Casual sex is a byproduct of a sexually free interaction with new people or people you've established a stable non-romantic relationship with. The ONLY difference, really, is the sex. If you meet a guy in a bar, and quickly decide he isn't a dating prospect, but you chat a bit, have a drink or two, maybe flirt a little casually, and then never meet again (or meet again in a friendly capacity), the ONLY difference between you and the "promiscuous" types is that you didn't have sex with him. There is not some giant psychological difference in outlook, people who have casual sex aren't a separate species of humanity or a separate culture. They just don't think sex is such a big deal in and of itself.

    2. In my experience sex is good or bad. Good sex can be amazing, mind-blowing, great or just nice, but it's never bad. Only bad sex is bad. And despite popular (among people who don't hook up) opinion, one-time sex acts don't really build experience that much. Yeah, you've experienced a ton of different "flavors", but very superficially. Actual sexual experience is gained through multiple repeats with the same person. Which would be why I'm always in favor of friends with benefits vs. hook ups with new people.
    Very well stated.
    As a "former promiscuous" person I never really thought about who I was sleeping with.
    I was horny, you are horny, then lets fuck was my motto.
    I didn't make a judgement on myself or anyone who can't do that.

    As my straight friends use to say to me....
    "I want to come back and live your life."

    Last edited by backagain; March 9th, 2013 at 04:09 PM.

  11. #111
    On the Prowl sulphur-springs's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    The majority of my friends are straight guys, and judging by their conversations our sex drives are the same. Not to mention guys are almost always window shopping, and when you throw two guys together it's just a lot more likely that sex will happen sooner than later. As with anything, there are exceptions.

  12. #112
    Je suis Charlie blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    The fact that you do not seem as bent about the concept of straight couples "using marriage to tax dodge" (which I do not believe is anyone's legitimate reason for having gotten married, in many cases there isn't even a noticeable savings of any sort depending on the incomes of the couple in question) but this is how you view a gay couple's likely reason for wanting to have access to full equal legal marriage rights shows a strong bias on your part, one that dismisses that gay couples are as real or as worthy, or which assumes that they're after some "other purpose" other than wanting a full legal marriage.

    Frankly, no one has to come in front of you as lord-advocate and get your blessing for their marriage or their reasons for getting married, nor should they have to-- neither heterosexual nor homosexual.

    P.S. If these "fringe benefits" of getting married were so worth it all by themselves there's absolutely no reason all of us wouldn't have just married single friends of the opposite sex in the meanwhile until we find our "real partners." The concept that people do it just for tax shelter or whatever is pretty stupid.
    Ah, now, you see the trouble with trying to read between the lines is that sometimes there is nothing between the lines and you end up leaping to the wrong conclusion.

    I brought up the tax-dodge because I'm trying to work out why people would get married if not for love and commitment, which you keep reminding us are not essential for marriage. So my reply was framed in the context of that assumption and the tax dodge. I have absolutely no issue with people of any sexual bent who commit to each other having legal benefits and marriage rights.

    The tax dodge is the only other reason I can conceive of to go through the whole rigmarole. And it IS a rigmarole; the legalities of the marriage contract are far-reaching, so I assume people get married because they WANT to get married. You said it yourself - you don't need marriage for love and commitment. And here in .za, you don't need to be married to share medical insurance costs (either way, gay marriage is legal here). And nowhere do you need to be married to sort out jointly-owned property.

    In short, I stand by what I said originally.

    -d-
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  13. #113
    JUB Addict figjam's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    Is this representative of the majority of the gay community? Are committed relationships (or at least people out looking for them) just not commonplace? Am I on a hopeless mission to find someone to want to be in a monogamous relationship with? What are people's thoughts on this?
    No, No and maybe.

    Guys (the male species) are naturally more promiscuous than females. This is just a fact of life.

    Not all males are promiscuous.

    Most gay clubs have created this "promiscuous" perception of gay men.

    At the end of the day we are all individuals - simple...

  14. #114
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    I dunno about the promiscuity factor of guys. I mean, I guess so, but ultimately, I am just horny all the time. However, if I could have sex with the same guy all the time, rather than with different ones here and there, I'd totally go for the one guy.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  15. #115
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    However, if I could have sex with the same guy all the time, rather than with different ones here and there, I'd totally go for the one guy.
    So what prevents this from happening?

  16. #116
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by blackbeltninja View Post
    Ah, now, you see the trouble with trying to read between the lines is that sometimes there is nothing between the lines and you end up leaping to the wrong conclusion.

    I brought up the tax-dodge because I'm trying to work out why people would get married if not for love and commitment, which you keep reminding us are not essential for marriage. So my reply was framed in the context of that assumption and the tax dodge. I have absolutely no issue with people of any sexual bent who commit to each other having legal benefits and marriage rights.

    The tax dodge is the only other reason I can conceive of to go through the whole rigmarole. And it IS a rigmarole; the legalities of the marriage contract are far-reaching, so I assume people get married because they WANT to get married. You said it yourself - you don't need marriage for love and commitment. And here in .za, you don't need to be married to share medical insurance costs (either way, gay marriage is legal here). And nowhere do you need to be married to sort out jointly-owned property.

    In short, I stand by what I said originally.

    -d-
    Basically, I think some litmus of "HOW in love are you?" or "HOW committed are you?" is utterly irrelevant to any discussion of whether or not gay people should have equal legal access to the government contract of marriage. It's a civil rights issue plain and simple. The fact that some people assign to the word marriage itself some kind of special magical, mystical, religious, spiritual, moral or personal ruleset has absolutely no bearing on whether or not the government should observe equal access to those legal rights for everyone. Yes, I think that the great majority of people who ever get married do it with the intent, at least at that moment, of being in love and being committed to each other. But that's certainly not a requirement for the legal contract to exist. Couples cheat. Couples grow apart or fall out of love. Yet the legal rights remain regardless.

    This issue of "gay people should need to commit en masse to the use of marriage for love and commitment", while we all might agree that is its ideal use, is neither enforcible nor something relevant to whether or not gay people should have equal legal rights in the contracts defining their relationships which extend to much more than whether or not they're currently in love or currently committed-- shared property rights, inheritance rights, medical decisionmaking rights which are not otherwise recognized without extraordinarily more complicated and expensive contracts being drawn up. I've used the example before, that it's ludicrous to say that gay people should have to go into the hospital with an affadavit full of legal contracts before they're admitted to see a loved one or join in the medical consultation when a wife could simply walk in and say "I am his wife."

    The yardstick of "are you really in love and 100% committed" isn't enforcible on anyone, least of all straight people. It's not relevant to the legal contract of marriage and the rights it bestows.

  17. #117

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    So what prevents this from happening?





    .

  18. #118
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Tiger: Obviously it's more difficult to find someone you click with than someone to hump for a single night.

    What's so horrible about having fun while you are looking for something more?

    You try to justify your view but all I see is a judgmental moral snob.
    Last edited by Laufey; March 9th, 2013 at 06:49 PM.

  19. #119
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    So what prevents this from happening?
    No suitable partner prevents this.
    I can see you are single. Why ???????????????????
    Last edited by Telstra; March 9th, 2013 at 06:50 PM.


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  20. #120
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    So what prevents this from happening?
    Lack of chemistry, circumstances or the simple fact that for most guys anything beyond "one time" means strings attached, which is usually not what I want. And it is usually not what I want not because I am some promiscuous whore, but because I don't connect easily on a level that would allow me to start a relationship. It's not even high standards, I just don't sync with that many people.
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  21. #121
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    Tiger: Obviously it's more difficult to find someone you click with than someone to hump for a single night.

    What's so horrible about having fun while you are looking for something more?

    You try to justify your view but all I see is a judgmental moral snob.
    I'm trying to understand how I've been a "judgmental moral snob." Perhaps you could enlighten me? I merely inquired as to whether it's the norm for gay gays to be more relationship averse and promiscuous. I didn't attach a positive or negative view to promiscuity. In fact, if I recall, I stated several times I'm not judging others and understand both positions. The judgment seems to be coming from your direction mostly.

  22. #122
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    It was such a cheap shot. There are plenty of people who don't find a suitable partner for years without having a single sexual encounter in the meanwhile. The two have nothing to do with each other.

    Of course it is possible someone might be enjoying the single life too much to settle down. But to judge someone based on their number of sex partners alone is really harsh and judgmental.

  23. #123
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    No suitable partner prevents this.
    I can see you are single. Why ???????????????????
    It's hard to find someone to try to start some kind of friendship with without having to pass through the door of initial sex. Even the conversation up to the point of the evening being over seems to be just forced as a necessary evil until the sex occurs. Meeting someone, talking, hanging out, doing fun whatever and then being able to say "want to hang out again?" without having to seal the deal with sex at the end of the night is what I'm looking for. Maybe it doesn't exist. Maybe it does but in a limited amount that will take a good while to find. Either way, I was looking for the viewpoints of others on the topic.

  24. #124
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    Lack of chemistry, circumstances or the simple fact that for most guys anything beyond "one time" means strings attached, which is usually not what I want. And it is usually not what I want not because I am some promiscuous whore, but because I don't connect easily on a level that would allow me to start a relationship. It's not even high standards, I just don't sync with that many people.
    That plus I caught him eyeballin the cello player.

    I am a jealous God.

  25. #125
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Well at least we now know your reason for feeling this way about promiscuous people... bitterness.

    It does exist. A shame you can't manage to find it. Maybe most guys just don't like your personality that much?

  26. #126
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    It's hard to find someone to try to start some kind of friendship with without having to pass through the door of initial sex. Even the conversation up to the point of the evening being over seems to be just forced as a necessary evil until the sex occurs. Meeting someone, talking, hanging out, doing fun whatever and then being able to say "want to hang out again?" without having to seal the deal with sex at the end of the night is what I'm looking for. Maybe it doesn't exist. Maybe it does but in a limited amount that will take a good while to find. Either way, I was looking for the viewpoints of others on the topic.
    Weirdly, I've had many experiences just like what you are describing. I've never felt peer-pressured into making it about sex.
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    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    That plus I caught him eyeballin the cello player.

    I am a jealous God.
    Yeah, especially jealous of his tribal totems too... who knew throwing them out would cause such drama... People are better off single... -_-
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    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    Well at least we now know your reason for feeling this way about promiscuous people... bitterness.

    It does exist. A shame you can't manage to find it. Maybe most guys just don't like your personality that much?
    What the hell is your problem? The only bitterness in this thread is coming from you. I have not attacked a single person on here for their level of sexual interaction with other people. I realize that I can have a difference of opinion with other people without hating them personally. I also realize that my life experience is limited to only what I have experienced. So when I have things like this pop up in my head, I like to get a wide variety of views to help me better understand the world I live in instead of sit bitterly (like some people) in my own limited world of experiences and think everyone is out to get me.

    If you want to meaningfully contribute, please do. If not, there has to be something else you could be doing.

  29. #129
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Perhaps we're hard wired for novelty. Just like straight men.

    The more times we have sex with the same person the longer it takes to climax. (if it's really frequent, that is)

    Must be something evolutionary. Spreading the seed far and wide was advantageous but difficult to actually do. Now we're like Dolphins (fuck for the fun of it) with Grindr.

  30. #130
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?



    Seriously, no gender or sexual identity is more promiscuous than the other. Some 'types' may be more open about it but the percentages [~40%] of how many people are promiscuous are correct.
    Last edited by maxpowr9; March 10th, 2013 at 06:00 PM.

  31. #131
    JUB Addict MorrisseyX's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    I think some gay men are promiscious because we are afraid to fall in love with someone. If you start falling for someone that means the individual is now vulnerable and open to being hurt. Nobody wants to get hurt, so some people I am including myself here sleep around because I try to avoid getting hurt.

    I have one night stands because I know I will not get emotionally attached to someone. But I know I cannot have sex with a guy over and over again and again and it is just sex if I have feelings for the guy. And the thing about feelings at least for myself is I can't control it it is either there or it is not there.

    Sleeping around I think for some gay men is easier than having a deeper emotional connection with someone because there is no emotional ties to the other man.

  32. #132
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Unlike straight men?

  33. #133

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    It's hard to find someone to try to start some kind of friendship with without having to pass through the door of initial sex. Even the conversation up to the point of the evening being over seems to be just forced as a necessary evil until the sex occurs. Meeting someone, talking, hanging out, doing fun whatever and then being able to say "want to hang out again?" without having to seal the deal with sex at the end of the night is what I'm looking for. Maybe it doesn't exist. Maybe it does but in a limited amount that will take a good while to find. Either way, I was looking for the viewpoints of others on the topic.
    If you want to get past "the door of initial sex" as you call it then you might find that difficult if you're meeting them at one of your homes. Two gay guys, meeting for the first time, alone at one of their houses, unless they're five, are going to have sex. That's just the male sex drive kicking in. Try asking someone out to dinner or something, and make sure you both drive yourselves there. If you both are planning on driving home in your own cars, it makes it a lot less likely that sex is going to happen on the first date.

    Another idea would be to get with a group of gay friends, or make your own group. Sex doesn't happen with groups of gay friends either. Some might find this difficult, and it certainly can be so it might not work for everyone.

    Also, while I don't believe you're some bitter, unlikable, moral snob, I do think you hold some prejudices regarding sex that seem to bear a Christian(IMO) influence on the subject. Promiscuity is not nessacily something a gay guy is going to do for his entire life. I'm like Roylo, if I'm single I'm going to hook up, but I can get back into a relationship at the drop of a hat if I want to. What makes me capable of that? Because I choose to. Hook ups are only habit forming if you do them out of a fear of commitment, instead of just a funner way of getting off than watching porn. It's really not hard.

    And to all you guys out there who need some special connection before you "give yourself" to a fuck, do have a vagina or something? Seriously, the perspective that you lose a part of yourself from sex only makes sense if you're coming from the female genitals. Next time you have sex take a look at your dick afterwards. Are parts of it missing at all? Did he bite off the head or something? Come on guys, we're MEN our genitals are on the outside, sex is an external matter for us, why would you associate it with an internal process like your heart? It makes no sense.

    Pay attention to where your heart has been. That is a limited resource for us all, but your cock? Give me a break.
    Don't do scat, kids. It means you're a Republican.

  34. #134

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    This thread needs a song:








    You were doing great...until that bit. I hope you weren't serious.

    And if you were...it's still hilarious.

    There's a lot of preaching being done in this thread about understanding people's differences in preferences/comfort/boundaries, etc. when it comes to sex and how (and who and when) they choose to 'share themselves' with others. You're doing a shit job at contributing. Your post isn't far from what you are subtly insinuating that the OP has done.
    Hmmm, so are my prejudices, do you think, Christian, anti-Christian, or lapsed Catholic? Any of those could apply to me.

    I'm glad you thought the part about biting the head of was funny. It was supposed to be, lol.
    Don't do scat, kids. It means you're a Republican.

  35. #135
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vitamin View Post
    Also, while I don't believe you're some bitter, unlikable, moral snob, I do think you hold some prejudices regarding sex that seem to bear a Christian(IMO) influence on the subject. Promiscuity is not nessacily something a gay guy is going to do for his entire life. I'm like Roylo, if I'm single I'm going to hook up, but I can get back into a relationship at the drop of a hat if I want to. What makes me capable of that? Because I choose to. Hook ups are only habit forming if you do them out of a fear of commitment, instead of just a funner way of getting off than watching porn. It's really not hard.
    I do have my own personal view of when sex is appropriate, but it is definitely not Christian based and I view it as my personal decision. As a less-than-promiscuous person, I think it's a perfectly valid question to ask why gay guys (yes I know studies show all guys, but I'm a gay male and this is a gay board) seem to lean towards the promiscuity part of things since I don't have the experience or though process of the opposing view. I could have phrased the topic better, but this board won't let you go back and change it (and least I haven't found a way to.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Vitamin View Post
    And to all you guys out there who need some special connection before you "give yourself" to a fuck, do have a vagina or something? Seriously, the perspective that you lose a part of yourself from sex only makes sense if you're coming from the female genitals. Next time you have sex take a look at your dick afterwards. Are parts of it missing at all? Did he bite off the head or something? Come on guys, we're MEN our genitals are on the outside, sex is an external matter for us, why would you associate it with an internal process like your heart? It makes no sense.

    Pay attention to where your heart has been. That is a limited resource for us all, but your cock? Give me a break.
    I will agree with Huntneo that you're sounding exactly like what you were accusing me of. Some people view sex as a mechanical type process that humans go through whenever they have the need to release. Others view it as something special that you can give someone special. Neither side is right or wrong. While I have done hookups before, I try to avoid them because I feel like sex is one of the few things I can give someone special that I don't give to just anyone who happens to know me. That's my personal opinion. Some on here seem to share that and others don't. I don't expect someone like you or Rolyo to change your ways because of how I feel and I hope you wouldn't expect me to do so based on your feelings. I certainly don't believe that dismissing anyone's personal views on what sex is or should mean because they don't line up with what you view it as is a proper course of action.

    The responses on here though have definitely clarified some of the questions I had about what others' views on the relationship vs. sex thing were.

  36. #136
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    I do have my own personal view of when sex is appropriate, but it is definitely not Christian based and I view it as my personal decision.
    Let's get one thing clear - it IS Christian based. It doesn't matter whether you are Christian yourself, or how important religion is in your life. You are the product of a culture that has been heavily influenced by Christianity for 2000 years. Every aspect of our lives is colored by it, whether we are ourselves believers or not. And yes, sex-guilt and glorifying the sex act ARE Christianity-induced things that did not exist in pre-Christian times.

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    Some people view sex as a mechanical type process that humans go through whenever they have the need to release. Others view it as something special that you can give someone special. Neither side is right or wrong.
    Yeah, and a giant majority of us are in the middle and view it as a pleasurable experience which includes emotional as well as physical connection, in the form of mutual sympathy, chemistry and all sorts of other positive feelings that just so happen to not be romantic. It's not a black/white "mechanical masturbation with someone else's asshole" and "beautiful loving meaningful connection of two souls through the beautiful loving act of beautiful loving sex". I have never had "mechanical" sex. If you have, I am sorry for you, but that's not how casual sex is for me. So yeah, don't diss what you obviously don't know.

    How we view sex is a personal thing, but it CAN be changed, like every other outlook we have. Because I can promise you, sex with someone special to me is just as special and meaningful as it is to you. So the difference between the two of us is that I just get laid more

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I'm gonna go with love, devotion, and commitment, but hey, what do I know?
    No, no, no, it is SO much more important where your dick has been before!
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  37. #137
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    Whoa.

    You and I are practically twins on this topic.

    Honestly, I am (and will continue to be) dumbfounded by folks who continuously find themselves in relationships. I just do not fathom how it is so possible to be so emotionally compatible with so many men. The way I gel with others, there is an incredibly low number of men in the world I'd feel that I'd be able to attain a chemistry with. I would really have to look for a relationship to even find a fitting candidate, and I've never really had a desire to search.
    But you say this as though most everyone else gets into 20 relationships a year or something. For me, meeting someone I emotionally bond with is rare. But I can count my relationships on one hand, and most of them lasted at least a year. It sounded like you're referring to serial monogamists or serial daters or something, not people who engage in (for lack of a better term) normal relationships, which will be somewhat rare and probably somewhat spaced out, because of the difficulty in finding the right person.

  38. #138
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    I'm gonna go with love, devotion, and commitment, but hey, what do I know?
    Riiiiight, let's look past the fact that you've been with literally hundreds of men. I'm sure your significant other will feel proud walking down the gayborhood street holding hands with you despite the fact some of the random men walking past you have already had you.

  39. #139

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe5 View Post
    Riiiiight, let's look past the fact that you've been with literally hundreds of men. I'm sure your significant other will feel proud walking down the gayborhood street holding hands with you despite the fact some of the random men walking past you have already had you.
    If that significant other were me I really wouldn't care. I seriously just don't get where your attitude is based off of if not Christianity. Seriously, this sounds like something a chastity speaker would say to group kids in a Catholic High School.
    Don't do scat, kids. It means you're a Republican.

  40. #140
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vitamin View Post
    If that significant other were me I really wouldn't care. I seriously just don't get where your attitude is based off of if not Christianity. Seriously, this sounds like something a chastity speaker would say to group kids in a Catholic High School.
    One big alternative to forming a position on this topic other than Christianity is health. Statistically speaking, the more people you have sex with, the more your chances of getting an STD or adverse health effects goes up.

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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vitamin View Post
    If that significant other were me I really wouldn't care. I seriously just don't get where your attitude is based off of if not Christianity. Seriously, this sounds like something a chastity speaker would say to group kids in a Catholic High School.
    Judging by some of the posts, some people here aren't familiar with the concept of self-respect.

    And since we're on the subject, I don't give two fucks about Christianity or its beliefs. But some of you should be the last people to criticize Christianity. Having hundreds or even thousands of sex partners in your life? Think it's any wonder that in the "Western world" gays are the people most overwhelmingly affected by AIDS? That's absolutely nothing to be proud of.

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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSpectatingLoner View Post
    LMAO at this Puritan attitude. I doubt I'd ever want to date someone with such ridiculous views.

    There is no shortage of men out there doing the same shit I'm doing, and one of those men would likely be who I'd consider dating.
    Good for you, keep it that way. After all, birds of a feather flock together. I would never want to date someone with ZERO self-respect.

  43. #143
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Saying a person who has had many sexual partners has little or no self-respect is ridiculously ignorant and judgmental.

    Your partner isn't a property you own. Why does it matter whether the people you walk past have slept with him or not?

    It's really surprising how many puritans we have on a gay porn forum.

  44. #144
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    One big alternative to forming a position on this topic other than Christianity is health. Statistically speaking, the more people you have sex with, the more your chances of getting an STD or adverse health effects goes up.
    Bible thumper!
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    Saying a person who has had many sexual partners has little or no self-respect is ridiculously ignorant and judgmental.

    Your partner isn't a property you own. Why does it matter whether the people you walk past have slept with him or not?

    It's really surprising how many puritans we have on a gay porn forum.
    So because I consciously choose not to have sex with HUNDREDS of men that makes me puritan? I'm not a saint by any means. I've had my share of hookups and one-night stands, but I know where to draw the line. Besides, aren't you the one who once said that you used to be an "escort" (or whatever the PC term for it is)? If that's the case then I'm not surprised that you'd deem some us "puritan".

    And what does the fact that JUB is a porn site have anything to do with this thread? While the JUB website is a porn site, lots of different topics are usually discussed on the forum itself. Some of us aren't here for the porn anyway.

  46. #146

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    Saying a person who has had many sexual partners has little or no self-respect is ridiculously ignorant and judgmental.

    Your partner isn't a property you own. Why does it matter whether the people you walk past have slept with him or not?

    It's really surprising how many puritans we have on a gay porn forum.
    Honestly? Because it matters. If you've had hundreds of partners.. what does that mean? That you can't stay with someone long? That you have an insatiable sexual appetite? That you do not care about the safety of your body?
    There is SOMETHING amiss there. Now if you go through a phase early in your gay life where you were promiscuous I understand. However, serial promiscuity is just as bad as serial dating. Anything in excess is somewhat odd.

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    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe5 View Post
    Riiiiight, let's look past the fact that you've been with literally hundreds of men. I'm sure your significant other will feel proud walking down the gayborhood street holding hands with you despite the fact some of the random men walking past you have already had you.
    Oh? So you always pick virgins and then move to a new town just in case? What's with the shame-tripping, luv? You've already branded him as some disease-ridden whore that should have a giant tattoo on his face, so "decent" folks know to stay away and not be embarrassed to be seen with him.

    Get a grip.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  48. #148
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by tigerfan482 View Post
    One big alternative to forming a position on this topic other than Christianity is health. Statistically speaking, the more people you have sex with, the more your chances of getting an STD or adverse health effects goes up.
    Yeah, except this isn't how you're framing it, is it? You guys keep talking about "giving something precious" and "devaluing" yourself through sex. The health factor is literally the ONLY viable point one can make against promiscuity, yet it's barely been a part of this conversation.

    No, I am not buying that that's what you're forming your position on.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  49. #149

    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    Saying a person who has had many sexual partners has little or no self-respect is ridiculously ignorant and judgmental.

    Your partner isn't a property you own. Why does it matter whether the people you walk past have slept with him or not?

    It's really surprising how many puritans we have on a gay porn forum.
    This is nothing. The last gay forum I was on was more like the Baptist Ladies Club than a gay forum. Really depressing.

    It doesn't matter what you say...they won't get it. Of course...they are often the ones who crow the loudest while they are being judged. They think this is somehow "different".

  50. #150
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe5 View Post
    Judging by some of the posts, some people here aren't familiar with the concept of self-respect.

    And since we're on the subject, I don't give two fucks about Christianity or its beliefs. But some of you should be the last people to criticize Christianity. Having hundreds or even thousands of sex partners in your life? Think it's any wonder that in the "Western world" gays are the people most overwhelmingly affected by AIDS? That's absolutely nothing to be proud of.
    You're really verging WAY too close on being directly offensive, and bringing the mods on yourself.

    Either respect the fact that your Puritan morality isn't universal and many people don't share it in this topic, or gtfo and leave the adults to talk like adults.

    And AIDS is caused by unsafe sex, not by promiscuity.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

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