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View Poll Results: 21 with a 24/25 too big of a age gap?

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  1. #1

    21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Is 21/22 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?
    Last edited by darklide634; March 4th, 2013 at 11:06 PM.

  2. #2
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    For people in their twenties, a 5 year difference is not a huge age gap.

  3. #3
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    No. Not at all. Perfectly normal. Probably the statistical average for age difference in relationships.
    blacksyringe

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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Not even a gap if you ask me. Always got along with friends a few years apart and more with no issues, and it should be even less of a problem in a relationship.

  5. #5

    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    I don't think there is an age gap that is too big. It really comes down to the people involved, where they are in their lives and where they plan to be in the near and distant future. That being said, I think the gap between 21 and 25 is huge, much more so than, say, 35 and 45. At 21 I was still a kid and binge drinking was a regular occurence. At 25 I was already a couple of years into a very stable career and my priorities were completely different. Everyone's experience is different. It depends on when you become an "adult", and for most people, 21 is not that time.

  6. #6
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Nope! I get along with people 3-4 years older than me pretty fine. Few years is not at all big if you ask me.

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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Yes. You need someone who was born EACTLY in the same day, month and year as you, at the exact hour. No second more or less or the relationship is doomed.

    I donīt know if this is serious or a mockery to all the age gap threads here...

  8. #8
    loki81
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    that's barely a gap.

    the only real complication I could see is if one is still in college (and could be graduating and moving away for work/grad school in the near future) and the other is getting settled into a career.

  9. #9
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Ironically, if you have to post a topic to ask, then it probably does in this case.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  10. #10
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    As the question seems a bit odd...I have to wonder if you are thinking about or referring to maturity level? If so...maturity is an individual thing...you will find really mature 21 year olds and really immature 30 year olds....and just about every variation possible.

    If you sincerely wonder about that age gap....soon enough that gap will be considered "the same age".

  11. #11
    Porn Star Brian Smith's Avatar
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Never had sex with a man within 10 years of my own age. Look, age gaps don't mean much. A lot of people will try to feed you a lot of sausage and theoretical garbage on it, but I have seen how it works in actual practice. Age is not and never should be the "deal-killer" in a relationship, and it's completely ignorant to think it ought to be.

    You could make the argument, "oh, but you'll be in college while he is building a career," but people often go to college or back to college at much later times in their lives. You never know: you might end up supporting him someday while he attends grad school. The order in which people do things in their lives very much varies. There is no set order in which we do things. There isn't a basic game plan for life, and I imagine anyone who thinks there is just hasn't gotten out much. Live a little, and you'll find out that life is more complicated and less predictable than it looks on television.

    A lot of people wonder how I can identify with a lover who is over two-score years older than I am. Well, I can barely identify with men my own age because all I ever watched growing up was reruns of mid-20th Century sitcoms, and all I read growing up was classic sci-fi that was written in the 1950's or earlier. I watched the same shows he did growing up, and we speak in the same language. Besides that, we have a lot of the same interests, and we have a similar outlook on the world. My taste in music is similarly archaic: he and I both love Jethro Tull, and most people would say I'm a weirdo for that at my age.

    But then someone might make the argument to me, "well, he'll have a foot in the grave by the time you are middle-age." Well, I'd rather be middle-age and in good health when I have to take care of someone than be in failing health myself, so you still have no argument there. I'm really not concerned about the fact that he isn't going to be there for the rest of my natural life. He's had three great loves in his life, myself being one of them, and several abortive romances besides that. His first partner, a bi guy, is in his third marriage now. It is simply not the norm anymore for people to grow old with their prom date, and it never will be again. If you are in your 20's, you are delusional if you think that you are especially likely to be with the same guy you are with now by the time you are in your 70's, not that I discourage anyone from trying.

    But the age difference you are talking about here really amounts to nothing. What matters is really not what your respective ages are but what is going on in your lives right now, regardless of your ages. If you are in college and he is likely to have to relocate a few times over the next few years to advance his career, you might have a problem, but you also have to consider possible advantages that could be involved in you being at different stages in your lives. Sometimes, you end up with as much or more of a synergy than a conflict of interests. It depends on how imaginative you and he choose to be.

    And I acknowledge that there are times that age differences lead to incompatibility, but you can't just make a generalization on it. The only person who can decide whether or not it is an issue is you and you alone.

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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Not too much...now...a 21 yo and a 54 yo would be worth discussing.... that's unquestionably an age gap.
    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    Not too much...now...a 21 yo and a 54 yo would be worth discussing.... that's unquestionably an age gap.
    No, itīs not. It shouldnīt be your concern, as long as youīre not one of the parts involved in such a relationship.

  14. #14
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Quote Originally Posted by aaggii View Post
    No, itīs not. It shouldnīt be your concern, as long as youīre not one of the parts involved in such a relationship.
    It isn't my concern that's correct. I am not in a relationship and not actively seeking one at this time. But I was responding to the op and suggesting an age gap that may be arguably "too big".
    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

  15. #15
    Porn Star Brian Smith's Avatar
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    It isn't my concern that's correct. I am not in a relationship and not actively seeking one at this time. But I was responding to the op and suggesting an age gap that may be arguably "too big".
    Hehehe, like I've said, my partner is 72, and I'm 29. Our relationship has had ups and downs, mostly ups, but I really don't think that our respective ages is especially problematical.

    Then again, another thing we have in common is that we both grew up displaced in time. He was a menopausal baby, and he had grandparents who had fought in the American Civil War. He was taught his early education by an aunt who had received a Victorian-style education. The farm he spent much of his upbringing on still used mostly horse-drawn equipment, and the most advanced machinery they had was a steam-powered tractor. Furthermore, he was always a history nut, so he really ended up identifying more with the 19th Century than he ever did with the 20th Century.

    Essentially, we're just a fit for each other in a lot of ways. The age factor is really N/A for us.

  16. #16

    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Quote Originally Posted by Brian Smith View Post
    Hehehe, like I've said, my partner is 72, and I'm 29. Our relationship has had ups and downs, mostly ups, but I really don't think that our respective ages is especially problematical.

    Then again, another thing we have in common is that we both grew up displaced in time. He was a menopausal baby, and he had grandparents who had fought in the American Civil War. He was taught his early education by an aunt who had received a Victorian-style education. The farm he spent much of his upbringing on still used mostly horse-drawn equipment, and the most advanced machinery they had was a steam-powered tractor. Furthermore, he was always a history nut, so he really ended up identifying more with the 19th Century than he ever did with the 20th Century.

    Essentially, we're just a fit for each other in a lot of ways. The age factor is really N/A for us.
    Are you okay with him dying in 20 years when you are 50?

  17. #17
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    That's a nasty question to ask. Of course he isn't "ok" with it, but this IS a consideration that wouldn't allow me to get into a relationship like that.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  18. #18

    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    That's a nasty question to ask. Of course he isn't "ok" with it, but this IS a consideration that wouldn't allow me to get into a relationship like that.
    Not nasty, just honest.

  19. #19

    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    That's a nasty question to ask. Of course he isn't "ok" with it, but this IS a consideration that wouldn't allow me to get into a relationship like that.
    Not nasty, just honest.

  20. #20
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    It isn't my concern that's correct. I am not in a relationship and not actively seeking one at this time. But I was responding to the op and suggesting an age gap that may be arguably "too big".
    I mean you being in a relatinoship like this, one younger and one older

    @darklide634 that WAS nasty. Look, 1 year with someone you truly love, but heīll die soon is so much better than a lifetime with someone you donīt love. No one chooses who to fall in love with.

  21. #21
    Porn Star Brian Smith's Avatar
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    Quote Originally Posted by darklide634 View Post
    Are you okay with him dying in 20 years when you are 50?
    That's longer than the average duration of a marriage. In fact, that's only slightly younger than he was when he lost his wife to cancer, which was in his mid-60's.

    I'm just saying, there is no argument that age difference is always going to be a deal-breaker in a relationship. There is just no argument that is universally applicable. You can't just say, "oh, that's too much," when you don't know those people or what stages they are actually at in their lives.
    Last edited by Brian Smith; March 7th, 2013 at 06:35 AM.

  22. #22
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    Re: 21 and 24/25 too big of an age gap?

    no, that's not even a gap really.

    40s or 50s with 21, that's an age gap.

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