So I'm 24 and I'm gay. I've come out to several friends over the past 2 years, but not the old ones, just the new ones. My vibe is that I'm quiet and keep to myself.
In my Spanish class, there's only 5 other students. It's a higher level Spanish class. I've had these same classmates for 2 years now but I don't talk to them but Spanish exercises usually involve answering questions in Spanish and practicing grammar using your own life experiences. I only really talk to one person--Kurt. I just came out to Kurt 2 weeks ago and he accepted it well.
Anyway today, we were completing sentence fragments on the go. One of them was "I go to the movie theatre to..." and my professor called on me. My professor is usually a jokester and we're comfortable with him because we've had him for 2 years.
When he called me, I answered "to enjoy the movies." Then he made a joke saying "...to meet girls. To meet girls, yes?" Some people were giggling not because they know I'm gay but because romantic issue is always giggle-worthy whatever age you're in. Kurt was laughing along because he knows that I'm gay and the question is funny to him.
Anyway I didn't know how to answer so I just shrugged. But the professor kept on, "to meet girls correct? Or to meet boys? Girls or boys?" I was tempted to jokingly say "Both" but I was already frozen in fear, shock, embarrassment. Me not answering probably already gave it away to the whole class that I'm gay. When I stayed silent, Kurt stopped laughing. The professor also stopped badgering saying, "Anyway you don't have to answer."
I sat there the rest of the period stunned, red, as of my head was floating and my eyes welled up. I've come out to the several friends before and that was fine because that was intimate, sincere, and I know I could trust them to never change their outlook on me. A part of me says I shouldn't give a fuck about this, but there's still a massive part that feels uncomfortable and embarrassed. I don't know, I've been repressing and pretending for so many years I can't just be proud to be gay all of a sudden. I still feel that stigma in me that because my classmates know that I'm gay they'll probably think less of me now.
Whatever. Just wanted to vent.