Why Boystown in Chicago is the worst place ever

[BustinJeiber]

So I recently visited Boystown in Chicago. UGH.. What a landfill of gay mess. It's overly commercialized. Overly priced. Gaudy as hell. Also, the boys aren't even cute. Also whats with the roving ghetto queens looking for someone to rob? Jesus.. It really is a gay hell. I much prefer ft lauderdale, or even the village, as tacky as it is.

My adventure started in a club/diner/lounge/shithole called kit kat... KIT KAT... as if there were no other names available for a gay establishment in the US. Also, it is supposed to be a Martini Bar, but the martinis are all sorts of idiotically mixed concoctions like the "Lady Gaga" or the "Dragrace" martini, all designed to reel in the culturally daft queens for their coins without actually producing a REAL MARTINI. So it gets worse.. They have dragshows, and on every table they have a written statement saying that it's common courtesy to tip the "show girls" when they perform. They actually need to remind people to tip, thats how shitty this place is. Halfway through my salad ( yes they have entrees and food because they want to seem like a drag cafe or something ) I hear the familiar sounds of what can be called as a drag song, and out comes the pleasantly plump dragon in a full body sequin leotard. Flaunting her god awful wig and costume jewelry covered teets. She was HOUNDING everyone for tips so shamelessly that I left my salad and told the waiter to let her have it.

My Next stop.. a staple club.. SPIN. So I waited with my friend who told me it was going to be amazing because some drag queen from television was going to dance and sing and cut off a chickens head or whatever the hell else they do. Once we got to the head of the line there was a cover, 7 dollars! 7 dollars to get into a club on a Thursday night. 7 dollars, it couldn't be 5, in some tweaked out gay managers head it occurred that 7 dollars would be just the right amount. Breaks perfectly out of a 20. So we enter to the usual gay cunty house music, rhianna shoutin about some shit to a dizzying array of synthesizers and cowbells while the queens flail their hips and limbs. I check my coat, and head to the bar where I spotted a jaded looking bartender. I ask for a shot of henny and a vodka tonic. He didnt know what henny was, I had to tell him. He was hot as hell, but smart as a dumbbell, a sign that the establishment wasn't going to provide quality beverages.

So I'm at SPIN trying to have a good time, but the whole experience with Kit Kat really left a bad taste in my mouth. Also there were some homeless queens asking for change around the corner, it just broke my heart. Amidst waves of eager queens waiting to see the show, I sighed, hoping It wasnt going to be completely disappointing. She arrived late, looking trashy, her name was something idiotic, she lipsynced to some stupid song by Beyonce and threw up some dance moves. It was what you would expect from someone kicked off a reality show.

The whole time I felt like I was in some strange perverted disneyland with all the signs that you are in an amusement park. Animated characters, people selling pointless shit everywhere, gay families walking their children, trannies eating elephant ears. It just felt like the most superficial place I'v ever been to, and I'v been to Paris.

So after a fun night in Boystown, I left to a club called Berlin. That was actually the best place I'v been to in Chicago. I actually met someone I liked, danced to decent music, and my drinks were on point. I even got fucked that night, thanks Berlin!

[yourson]

Steamworks is fun though.

[Rolyo85]

Actually, Boystown is pretty amazing, and I go to the bars here at least twice a week. Spin is a great event place, but I have a little issue with the fact that there are no drag shows there on Thursdays, so I am not sure what you're talking about O.o Also, Cesar is straight, the poor dear. They aren't that good with drinks ^_^

Kit Kat is decent but overpriced. All the strong words you use are mostly just bitching really - it's not like the place is lying to you about what it is. It's actually much better in the warm months with the garden outside open, and the queens safely inside. They also project black and white weirdness on the outside wall and the atmosphere is amazing.

I still haven't been to Berlin. It's actually not considered a gay bar.

Also, I'm having trouble with your use of "queens", since it seems to be a synonym of "gay men"...


Anyway, I totally disagree, I find Boystown to be an amazing place where there is something for everyone's taste, and I love living there.

[GiancarloC]

Damn that kinda sucks. Sounds like they have a serious lack of variety. But to be honest West Hollywood/Hollywood sounds much the same. There are clubs like Arena/Circus that are more towards gay Latinos... so there is some diversity. Arena/Circus is in Hollywood fyi. Diversity with music too. I hate DJs that only play pop... and it's all they can play. That's why I don't go to Rage anymore.

I might rate Weho higher than what you have... but, I haven't been to Chicago.

[Rolyo85]

Damn that kinda sucks. Sounds like they have a serious lack of variety. But to be honest West Hollywood/Hollywood sounds much the same. There are clubs like Arena/Circus that are more towards gay Latinos... so there is some diversity. Arena/Circus is in Hollywood fyi. Diversity with music too. I hate DJs that only play pop... and it's all they can play. That's why I don't go to Rage anymore.

I might rate Weho higher than what you have... but, I haven't been to Chicago.

Well, he's been to one gay martini bar, one gay club and one anything-goes club. Boystown has tens of clubs, bars, coffee places and stores, this isn't an adequate representation at all.

Spin is an events kinda place. I go there for RuPaul's Drag Race viewings on Mondays, as well as when Drag Race stars perform on Saturdays (it's the official Drag Race club in Chicago), or they have some thematic party (they had boybands vs girlbands last night, but I was working ;_. Otherwise, I don't go there on regular nights, except for $1 nights (Wednesdays and Thursdays), when it's no cover before 9...

[miaedu]

So I recently visited Boystown in Chicago. UGH.. What a landfill of gay mess. It's overly commercialized. Overly priced. Gaudy as hell. Also, the boys aren't even cute. Also whats with the roving ghetto queens looking for someone to rob? Jesus.. It really is a gay hell. I much prefer ft lauderdale, or even the village, as tacky as it is.

Curious as to why you prefer "ft lauderdale" over Boystown.

[Rolyo85]

Overall blasphemy. I am scandalized.

[RazorzEdge88]

Someday I hope to go to Buck's and make fun of them for liking the Cubs and Bears...and then maybe bang some cubs and bears. :c)

[TheSpectatingLoner]

Lol, Cubs flags are the single WORST thing about Boyztown. But it's a relief to see so many gay sports bars there. The New York "gay sports bars" are a fucking JOKE!

[cgymike]

Wow - Toronto may have it better!!!!!

[BustinJeiber]

Overall blasphemy. I am scandalized.

No offense to you, good sir. As I am sure that there are plenty of hotspots that provide quality entertainment on certain occasions. My experience however, was marred with the tragedy of 'not enough hotspots that serve good drinks, have friendly staff, and are genuine'. I much preferred Wicker Park for it's variety of gays and hipsters, as opposed to Boystown's homogenous homosexual population. I can somewhat grasp the appeal of being in an exclusive gay neighborhood, but I felt that somewhere along the lines that Boystown may have lost it's way and became a cliquey sideshow attraction of the Chicago landscape. It has some cool things about it, but overall, it's a trainwreck of a social scene.

[Rolyo85]

How did you get that from being there one night? O.o

Anyway, I'm not a big scene guy. What matters to me are the day (Broadway) and night (Halsted) entertainment venues, and those are super varied.

Btw, for good drinks, I'd recommend Wood, if price isn't an issue. It's a bar like Kit Kat, not a club, but without the drag. Pretty awesome.

[BustinJeiber]

I went to other places on other nights, but for the sake of not writing up an essay I left much out. I went to Sidetracks, Roscoes, Big Chicks, Hydrate, and other places in other neighborhoods like Smart Bar, Debonair, & Violet Hour. I have been to Chicago before in the past, so it's not based on only one experience. Also, my friend who lives in Boystown tells me alot of his experiences, some of them would make you cringe for their awkwardness.

[Rolyo85]

Haha, I'm sure they would. But I haven't had any like that. I'm classy ^_^

[BustinJeiber]

C'mon, don't be such a prude. You live in a gay neighborhood, you don't think that's awkward enough? Lol

[Rolyo85]

Nope, not in the least ^_^

[MysteryLovesCompany]

Eh, in Copenhagen we have maybe ten (at the most) gay establishments scattered around the city, and all of them are about the same size as a standard airplane bathroom. There's no niche places like sports bars or bear bars or even a place that has drag shows, they're all just "gay". Take it or leave it.

[whitedavo]

I went to Chicago last year for Pride and it was one of my favorite places that I've been. Circuit on a Friday night was one of my favorite places I've ever been. Sounds like you were just a slut looking for dick and obviously weren't going to find any at drag shows.

[blackbeltninja]

So...

You went to a dozen or more places with some mates, and got laid at the end of the night.

Result, IMO; not sure why you're complaining.

-d-

[rareboy]

Cool story bro.

[Keeland]

My adventure started in a club/diner/lounge/shithole called kit kat... KIT KAT... as if there were no other names available for a gay establishment in the US. Also, it is supposed to be a Martini Bar, but the martinis are all sorts of idiotically mixed concoctions like the "Lady Gaga" or the "Dragrace" martini, all designed to reel in the culturally daft queens for their coins without actually producing a REAL MARTINI.

But how were the mutton pies?

[jensu846]

i wanna go!!! would love to see RuPauls queens. sounds awsome to me! Sharon Needles rocks.

[Rolyo85]

Sharon performed on the 23rd and she was amazing. The room was super packed though... Also, we had a Geeks OUT mixer two months ago, with another one coming on March 24.

[Corny]

JayQueer, is that you?

[willie metcaffe]

No, it couldn't have been Jay. There was no initial fawning over some hot studly caucasian military republican who was pro marriage but anti everything else.

[pat grimshaw]

But how were the mutton pies?

That link says the first Kit-Kat had strong political and literary associations.


BTW: I notice so many of those Boystown places seems to have drag performers. I thought they were becoming increasingly irrelevant in 21st century gay life.

[Rolyo85]

That link says the first Kit-Kat had strong political and literary associations.

BTW: I notice so many of those Boystown places seems to have drag performers. I thought they were becoming increasingly irrelevant in 21st century gay life.

No idea how you got that notion which is pretty much exactly in the opposite direction of reality.

[pat grimshaw]

^ I'm pleased to hear it.