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  1. #1
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    I thought he should tell.
    What do you think ?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  2. #2
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    I assume you mean a hookup/date meet?

    Then I think yes. Save both sides a LOT of drama rather than having it become an issue after you've not mentioned anything and started dating or met up.

  3. #3
    JUB Addict figjam's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    I thought he should tell.
    What do you think ?
    Should a person about to kill me tell me about his intentions? I think he should..... (WTF!?).

  4. #4
    AshyPhoenix
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Uhm.



    No. No, of course not. Wouldn't you rather it be a surprise?

  5. #5
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    A few years back, i know one person who is hiv+ positive but didn't tell me until after we slept together.
    Didn't have anal sex, still got tested and everything was ok.


    I'm sure he did the same thing with other people (didn't tell people until after sexual activities).
    Reason for this thread is, i still saw him on hookup sites, his profile didn't say he is positive.
    Last edited by Telstra; February 15th, 2013 at 02:39 PM.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  6. #6
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    A few years back, i know one person who is hiv+ positive but didn't tell me until after we slept together.
    Didn't have anal sex but still got tested but everything was ok.


    I'm sure he did the same thing with other people (didn't tell people until after sexual activities).
    This is why if you're hooking up, always presume it's possible and protect yourself accordingly.

  7. #7
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    No

    If he's successfully following treatment, uses condom, and it's only a one night stand, no reason to tell

  8. #8
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nishin View Post
    No

    If he's successfully following treatment, uses condom, and it's only a one night stand, no reason to tell
    ummm,
    i have the right to know and decide if i want to play.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  9. #9
    JUB Addict figjam's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nishin View Post
    No

    If he's successfully following treatment, uses condom, and it's only a one night stand, no reason to tell
    you be wack dude!

  10. #10
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    ummm,
    i have the right to know and decide if i want to play.
    Yeah but Telstra your question was difficult to answer because the question, to me, was kinda like "well if he doesn't tell and I don't ask, and I'm doing NSA hookups, I'm the victim right?"

    Yeah I guess in theory you are.

    But it's also stupid to presume an NSA hookup is going to tell you everything, or be responsible, or use protection. You can't control what someone out there you don't know anything about is going to do as far as "doing the right thing" or "being responsible" or "being safe." That's up to you. You should treat any NSA hookup like "it's possible" and if you're not doing it protected, you're accepting the risk.

  11. #11
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    ummm,
    i have the right to know and decide if i want to play.

    Do you also demand your date inform you if they have (anal) warts, herpes, crabs, a cold?
    They're much more likely to transmit you some of these than HIV under the conditions I mentioned above...

    Quote Originally Posted by figjam View Post
    you be wack dude!
    How so?
    Last edited by Nishin; February 15th, 2013 at 02:46 PM.

  12. #12
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    [...]
    But it's also stupid to presume an NSA hookup is going to tell you everything, or be responsible, or use protection. You can't control what someone out there you don't know anything about is going to do as far as "doing the right thing" or "being responsible" or "being safe." That's up to you. You should treat any NSA hookup like "it's possible" and if you're not doing it protected, you're accepting the risk.
    Precisely

  13. #13
    Kien
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    ummm,
    i have the right to know and decide if i want to play.
    You do not have the right to know. If you did, you could pull up people's medical records.

    You should be aware that you run the risk of encountering someone who will lie or withhold information about their hiv status, especially on a hookup site. Then you decide if you want to play and if the risk is worth it.

  14. #14
    JUB Addict figjam's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nishin View Post
    Do you also demand your date inform you if they have (anal) warts, herpes, crabs, a cold?
    They're much more likely to transmit you some of these than HIV under the conditions I mentioned above...



    How so?
    You seriously wack! You compare anal warts to AIDS?!

    Sheesh! Dude - catch a wake up!

  15. #15
    AshyPhoenix
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Figjam's fucked up again. When you come down, go back and read the posts you've made. Perhaps you'll rethink posting on here while you're high.

  16. #16
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by figjam View Post
    You seriously wack! You compare anal warts to AIDS?!

    Sheesh! Dude - catch a wake up!
    If I were to compare those two, in terms of infectiousness, I'd say anal warts will spread much easier... that's a wild guess which I'm pretty sure is correct.
    I didn't compare them in terms of mortality.
    Someone who's HIV+ but undetectable + using a condom has a very very low risk on transmitting HIV.
    Last edited by Nishin; February 15th, 2013 at 03:01 PM.

  17. #17
    JUB Addict figjam's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by AshyPhoenix View Post
    Figjam's fucked up again. When you come down, go back and read the posts you've made. Perhaps you'll rethink posting on here while you're high.
    What was that dear?

  18. #18
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nishin View Post
    Do you also demand your date inform you if they have (anal) warts, herpes, crabs, a cold?
    They're much more likely to transmit you some of these than HIV under the conditions I mentioned above...



    How so?
    I sometimes ask if they are clean when they are here.
    "are you clean, disease free?"


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  19. #19
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    And if they say they are do you go bare?

  20. #20
    JUB Addict figjam's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by AshyPhoenix View Post
    Figjam's fucked up again. When you come down, go back and read the posts you've made. Perhaps you'll rethink posting on here while you're high.
    crazy much?

  21. #21
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kien View Post
    You do not have the right to know. If you did, you could pull up people's medical records.

    You should be aware that you run the risk of encountering someone who will lie or withhold information about their hiv status, especially on a hookup site. Then you decide if you want to play and if the risk is worth it.
    I know for a fact that some people don't use condoms in the heat of the moment.
    So, morally the hiv+ guy have to tell people before sex.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  22. #22
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nishin View Post
    And if they say they are do you go bare?
    No but you feel double safe if he is negative.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  23. #23
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by figjam View Post
    crazy much?
    Somebody trollen. Again.

  24. #24
    JUB Addict figjam's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    No but you feel double safe if he is negative.
    WTF! "Feel safe" based on what someone claims...... crazy shit....

  25. #25
    BENDERBOY
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Condom, condom, condoms.

  26. #26
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    I know for a fact that some people don't use condoms in the heat of the moment.
    So, morally the hiv+ guy have to tell people before sex.
    I know for a fact if you're not using a condom you're just as responsible are your partner.
    There is no moral reason for a guy to inform you of his condition if the risk he puts you through is statistically almost non-existent (treated+undetectable+condom).

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    No but you feel double safe if he is negative.
    I have no idea what double safe is supposed to mean... doesn't sound relevant at all... this is not Schrodinger cat... you're either safe (using a condom) or not (not using a condom), again, both are YOUR choice.

  27. #27
    gold3509
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    nice topic. 90% of guys assume you cant catch std's from Oral sex.. when the facts are you can catch std's from oral..... HIV is low risk if no cuts or sore but other std's are easy to get from oral sex..... a friend of mine let some guy he met in adult book store suck his dick the next day yellow stuff starting coming out of his dick.... (genarriha) i spelled it wrong but
    he caught that..
    Last edited by gold3509; February 15th, 2013 at 03:28 PM.

  28. #28
    JUB Addict figjam's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Condom, condom, condoms.

    one would think...... seems sluttyphoenix and xockbunny disagrees...
    Last edited by figjam; February 15th, 2013 at 03:37 PM.

  29. #29
    veni, vidi, reliqui
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Yes.

    simply yes.

  30. #30
    Sex God PATMAN's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Someone here in my city was found guilty of three counts attempted murder for not telling. Now, granted, he intentionally was hooking up with boys knowing he was + and lying about it, and not using protection, but still. Of course they should tell.

  31. #31
    JUB Addict vulgar_newcomer's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by figjam View Post
    Should a person about to kill me tell me about his intentions? I think he should..... (WTF!?).
    pffft... don't flatter yourself so, one look at you with talk and even on A4A their dick may go into hiding.
    Everyone you meet isn't a fuck or a suck, unless thats all you want or connect with


    \

  32. #32
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    I think it is everybody's responsibility to figure out if they have a disease or not, and then make sure other people don't get it from them.

    If I have a cold, I cover my mouth when I cough because it's shitty to just cough germs all over everybody. Nobody with a cold goes around coughing on everybody and says "Well if you didn't want a cold, you should have been responsible and worn a mask. Obviously you accepted the risk."

    We get it right for every other disease. We tell sick people to stay home so they don't infect their co-workers. We put people in quarantine if they have tuberculosis or SARS. But we have it totally backwards with sexually transmitted infections.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  33. #33
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    I think it is everybody's responsibility to figure out if they have a disease or not, and then make sure other people don't get it from them.

    If I have a cold, I cover my mouth when I cough because it's shitty to just cough germs all over everybody. Nobody with a cold goes around coughing on everybody and says "Well if you didn't want a cold, you should have been responsible and worn a mask. Obviously you accepted the risk."

    We get it right for every other disease. We tell sick people to stay home so they don't infect their co-workers. We put people in quarantine if they have tuberculosis or SARS. But we have it totally backwards with sexually transmitted infections.
    Bankside, yes, you are correct.

    But in the context of the question here it's like "If I go to work and get a cold, is it the fault of the person who gave it to me?"

    You have to have some personal awareness/responsibility of the risk and the setting. In this case, sexual hookups with people you really don't know and would be stupid to expect are just going to "do what's right."

  34. #34
    JUB Addict cm98059's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Yes. In many states not disclosing that you are HIV+ is a crime. In some states testing positive for HIV gets you put on a list with the health department. In washington, where I live, once you test pos, you are required by law to inform your current and future partners. I believe you are also required to tell partners that you have been with for the last 6 months as well, but I am not clear on the law.

    And before you decide that I am poz because I know what the laws are, no I am not poz. I know the law because they tell you what the laws says when you get tested in this state. Then if you don't obey the law after you test poz, they can convict you of attempted murder or assault with a deadly weapon.

  35. #35
    JUB Addict jensu846's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    yes you should tell them. I made out with a guy once, just deep french kissing one nite when he drove me home, and after that he then told me that not only was he HIV positive, but actually had full blown AIDS. I was a bit taken back by it, and somewhat freaked till I learned that I was ok. But still thought it was a bit shady to wait till after we made out to tell me. He died 1 year later.

  36. #36

    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    OMG YES 110% I know for those who are HIV positive, it isn't easy to tell someone you may become sexually involved in that you are positve. Same time are you that much of a monster to keep such a thing to yourself and infect an innocent with the disease? How could one sleep at night doing that to someone else? I could never forgive someone who would do such a thing.
    Eternal youth and endless life. I'll sacrifice everything and everyone to obtain it

  37. #37
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Medical ethics say "yes."

    Personal responsibility says "yes."

    Even though the risk is low with condom use, it is low for a disease that can be fatal, and not as a rarity like peanut allergy.

    And the onus is twofold. Anyone not disclosing voluntarily is guilty of obscuring relevant and expected information, and anyone hooking up without asking is complicit in the contagion dynamic that results in spreading it unnecessarily.

    One thing that I didn't see in the thread is the potential for some one to be carrying it unaware. If you are engaging in unprotected sex with multiple partners, you're part of the problem, and it's a deadly problem.

  38. #38
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    What I hated as a bartender...especially in the first years of AIDS...I knew people who had it that just ignored it and I watched them pick guys up and I had the worst moral dilemma of my life. Should I warn the other guy?...or not?...and then some of them were my friends. I wrestled with this constantly. It was horrible.

    I beleive that it is none of my business and I have no right saying anything but then when you see someone who you are friends with about to potentially make a fatal error...and you know maybe saying something can save his life...it is a tough call.

    ..and so I used to have alot of angst thinking I am watching a guy about to get murdered.

    The few times I crossed the line and did say something I was met with rage from the guy with AIDS and indignation from the guy I was trying to warn...

  39. #39
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    "I'm allowed to have an orgasm inside your body, but telling you whether I have HIV or not is too personal."
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  40. #40
    Sex God tigerfan482's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Yes. If he is aware of it, he should tell you. That is something that should be known.

  41. #41
    JUB Addict FanofFiction's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    This is one of the biggest reasons I never got into hook ups. Of course you should tell someone if you have HIV! Legally, I have a right to know. It's too bad that some people are too selfish or too scared to be honest.

  42. #42
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    You should always assume the person might be infected.

    But yes they should tell and in my opinion they should be legally obligated to.

    HIV infected people can be open about it and still find sex. Sure it makes it harder but it's still very much possible.
    Last edited by Laufey; February 15th, 2013 at 07:30 PM.

  43. #43
    Marty Saybrooke's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    No, it's nobody else's business. But if you want to get physical with the person, then they should.
    I make my bed with the stars above my head and dream of a place called home.

  44. #44
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Yes, yes, yes!

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Condom, condom, condoms.

  45. #45
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    To clarify my post was about when they are about to have sex. Before that point you have every right to keep it a secret.

  46. #46
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    What I hated as a bartender...especially in the first years of AIDS...I knew people who had it that just ignored it and I watched them pick guys up and I had the worst moral dilemma of my life. Should I warn the other guy?...or not?...and then some of them were my friends. I wrestled with this constantly. It was horrible.

    I beleive that it is none of my business and I have no right saying anything but then when you see someone who you are friends with about to potentially make a fatal error...and you know maybe saying something can save his life...it is a tough call.

    ..and so I used to have alot of angst thinking I am watching a guy about to get murdered.

    The few times I crossed the line and did say something I was met with rage from the guy with AIDS and indignation from the guy I was trying to warn...
    Yes, i would warn other guys but ask them not to say who told them.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  47. #47
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    I don't believe a positive man needs to hold a sign to his chest and shout out "Positive!" to every person on the street.

    Until the moment happens where you engage in any kind of sexual activity and ask that question, "Are you negative of all possible STI's?" he doesn't have to tell you anything unless you ask.


    Edit: Looking back at my post, I just need to clarify that even if you don't ask, he still needs to tell you if you are going to engage in any sexual contact with him.
    Last edited by Just_Believe18; February 15th, 2013 at 09:40 PM.
    #439th oldest member on JUB.

  48. #48
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    What I hated as a bartender...especially in the first years of AIDS...I knew people who had it that just ignored it and I watched them pick guys up and I had the worst moral dilemma of my life. Should I warn the other guy?...or not?...and then some of them were my friends. I wrestled with this constantly. It was horrible.

    I beleive that it is none of my business and I have no right saying anything but then when you see someone who you are friends with about to potentially make a fatal error...and you know maybe saying something can save his life...it is a tough call.

    ..and so I used to have alot of angst thinking I am watching a guy about to get murdered.

    The few times I crossed the line and did say something I was met with rage from the guy with AIDS and indignation from the guy I was trying to warn...
    No good deed goes unpunished.

  49. #49

    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    I have a friend who is positive. He fucked a guy without a condom assuming that the guy would never have agreed to getting fucked without a condom unless he was also positive, but the guy getting fucked assumed my friend was negative, assuming he would never have fucked him had he not been negative. Fortunately, the guy getting fucked remained negative. They are now in a LTR, and I don't know what their condom protocol is. No one should assume anything.

    Is it correct that with the latest generation of drugs, that the levels of virus are so low as to decrease the chances of transmission?

  50. #50
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    Re: Should a HIV+ person tell people he is positvive before meet?

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    What I hated as a bartender...especially in the first years of AIDS...I knew people who had it that just ignored it and I watched them pick guys up and I had the worst moral dilemma of my life. Should I warn the other guy?...or not?...and then some of them were my friends. I wrestled with this constantly. It was horrible.

    I beleive that it is none of my business and I have no right saying anything but then when you see someone who you are friends with about to potentially make a fatal error...and you know maybe saying something can save his life...it is a tough call.

    ..and so I used to have alot of angst thinking I am watching a guy about to get murdered.

    The few times I crossed the line and did say something I was met with rage from the guy with AIDS and indignation from the guy I was trying to warn...
    So what? Fuck them. You did the right thing, and they are scum for not telling people they will potentially kill. That is not only illegal, to sleep with someone and not inform them if you know you're HIV+, that is also about the lowest thing you can do.

    I can't believe you'd think you are crossing the line and that you have no right telling the other person. Why would you even want to be friends with someone like that?

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