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  1. #1
    Sex God MrRochesterNY's Avatar
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    You think YOUR English is bad?

    At a Budapest zoo:
    PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

    Cocktail lounge, Norway:
    LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

    Doctor's office, Rome:
    SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

    Hotel, Acapulco:
    THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

    In a Nairobi restaurant:
    CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

    On the grounds of a private school:
    NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

    On a poster in New York:
    ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

    In a City restaurant:
    OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

    A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
    DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

    In a Indian maternity ward:
    NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

    In a cemetery:
    PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

    Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
    GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

    In a Bangkok temple:
    IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

    Hotel brochure, Italy:
    THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

    Hotel, Japan:
    YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
    YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

    Hotel, Vienna:
    IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

    Hotel, Zurich:
    BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

    An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
    TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

    A laundry in Rome:
    LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

    Tourist agency, former Czechoslovakia:
    TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

    In a Swiss mountain inn:
    SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

    Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
    WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

  2. #2
    JUB Addict umjreon88's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    HAHAHAH! Really made my Friday! Thank you!

    Some of them use Google Translate so I wouldn't blame them for the errors!
    "... You think the only people who are people
    Are the people who look and think like you ..." - Colours of the Wind by Vanessa Williams

  3. #3
    thatgirl
    Guest

    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    On a poster in New York:
    ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
    This one took me a while.

  4. #4
    Sex God MrRochesterNY's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    This one took me a while.
    Because you can't read?

  5. #5
    thatgirl
    Guest

    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRochesterNY View Post
    Because you can't read?
    Shhh.

  6. #6
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRochesterNY View Post
    Hotel, Zurich:
    BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
    im pretty sure this ones made up. i cannot imagine any hotel in switzerland having a sign like that. the swiss really value their privacy.
    where did you find this stuff?

  7. #7
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRochesterNY View Post
    A laundry in Rome:
    LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
    Maybe the Romans are just horny, dammit!

  8. #8
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Well, at least we know SloppySeconds has found gainful employment.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  9. #9
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by looseliam View Post
    Well, at least we know SloppySeconds has found gainful employment.
    OMG that's perfect!

  10. #10
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    I love how nobody realizes the double meaning of the caution sign "slow children".

  11. #11
    Sex God PATMAN's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    http://www.engrish.com/

    Always good for a laugh

  12. #12
    Here's looking at you kid
    cityboy-stl's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    At a KFC in Beijing:
    SO GOOD YOU SUCK YOUR FINGERS



  13. #13

    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRochesterNY View Post
    Because you can't read?
    Now, now. Let us not be rude. However, I went to school at the University of Rochester and I forgive you. Folk from that part of NY don't use humor like the rest of us, especially in the South.

  14. #14
    JUB Addict Anders123's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    You're English*

    Geez, some people...

  15. #15
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by Anders123 View Post
    You're English*

    Geez, some people...
    You are English yet are from Melbourne? I don't get it...

  16. #16
    JUB Addict Anders123's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by maxpowr9 View Post
    You are English yet are from Melbourne? I don't get it...
    Despite my previous post being a terrible joke, this is actually accurate. My family moved here from Yorkshire when I was a baby.

  17. #17
    Sex God
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Thanks, these are funny. Sometimes even native English speaking people don't always think before they speak. I remember reading some items like these in the Readers Digest which were taken from ads and notices from American sources.

  18. #18
    Sex God MrRochesterNY's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by cynicus View Post
    Now, now. Let us not be rude. However, I went to school at the University of Rochester and I forgive you. Folk from that part of NY don't use humor like the rest of us, especially in the South.
    I graduated from the University of Rochester ... in the last graduating class under the coordinate education system, i.e., when there were separate campuses for the men (River Campus) and women (Prince Street Campus). So there!

    You have no idea how we benefitted from the separation of the sexes (although I took many of my classes on the Prince Street Campus).

  19. #19
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: You think YOUR English is bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by Anders123 View Post
    Despite my previous post being a terrible joke, this is actually accurate. My family moved here from Yorkshire when I was a baby.
    At least you relinquish my joy that you are not Yahtzee who wants big floppy.

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