too what point is it 'picky'?

[menRsexii]

by this i mean, how does one know when they're being sensibly and fairly turning someone down as opposed to just being picky and superficial?

i dont know if im saying this right... i had the idea right in my head but its hard to get out here.

basically, i feel too superficial and picky at times when it comes to potential interests. on one hand, i hope thats not the case because i want to be fair and give chances, but on the other, what am i supposed to do if im not attracted to said person, in that way? or theres not enough attraction? is it possible to be somewhere in between?

any advice/ experience(s) are welcome... or just random talk i suppose is fine. whatever :P

[menRsexii]

* to

whoops!

[LeicsDom]

It depends on whether you are looking for a 1 night stand or a long term relationship

For something more than 1 night you should be as picky as you like.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

by this i mean, how does one know when they're being sensibly and fairly turning someone down as opposed to just being picky and superficial?

i dont know if im saying this right... i had the idea right in my head but its hard to get out here.

basically, i feel too superficial and picky at times when it comes to potential interests. on one hand, i hope thats not the case because i want to be fair and give chances, but on the other, what am i supposed to do if im not attracted to said person, in that way? or theres not enough attraction? is it possible to be somewhere in between?

any advice/ experience(s) are welcome... or just random talk i suppose is fine. whatever :P

is ya say no fancy ya but need sexcercise?

anyway

dizzy now

thankyou

[hylas]

youre being too picky if youre getting significatly less [insert whatever youre looking for] than youd like to.

[Hard-up1]

In short, Kiddo, the urge to merge is very powerful biologically and socially.

Channeling that desire into a satisfying social relationship is obviously a trickier proposition. That you have images of what is attractive is normal.

You need to consider who and what you find attractive. Is it only people with perfect bodies like an Abercrombie & Fitch commercial, or maybe Olympic stars? Is it only one kind of face or body? Do the objects of your desire have to be smooth, hairy, beefy, twinky, innocent-looking, dominant, or what?

If you discover it is a fairly narrow band, you might ask yourself why.

You may discover your personality (introverted) or your appearance (young/innocent) may tend to attract a certain type of partner which is not your desire. If that is the case, you may have to send out different signals.

And, at some level, you have to ask, "am I wanting to be loved, or am I wanting to love?" Although people seeking relationship instead of sex expect both, they are often blocking themselves. If you want to love, you'll be finding too many people to love, both romantically and platonically. If you are wanting to be loved first, then you may continue to find the pursuit frustrating.

Just keep trying. If it takes meeting a lot of guys, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't let it bother you that casual dating doesn't lead to the love of your life. It's not a divorce. Learn from each guy and keep looking.

[HunterM]

If you are not getting the desire results constantly, then you're being too picky.

When it comes to sex and relationship, chemistry/compatibility is everything. He may not be right for you, but he may be perfect pairing up with someone else.

Then...there is pity sex. You all know who you are.

[refujiunderground]

good question. thought about this over time but i'll tell you what being too picky is.

it's a two way street. there's people that are too picky where they basically act like they're too good for anybody and then the guys that are too desperate where they'll date any guy that shows them love or that they feel they have a chance with. either way, it's not good because it shows a poor judgement. you are too picky IF you basically are ready to shoot anybody down because they aren't everything that YOU want them to be in your eyes as if you are that person and it could be usually over the littlest things. it's basically someone who's passively a control freak. since someone isn't what they want them to be, they don't want to have anything to do with that person but on the same face, they want people to accept them for who they are even if they themselves are far from perfect or may be douchebags and etc. for example, you won't date a guy because he doesn't like the same music you like or he isn't over 6 feet 2 but you like guys that are taller than you and you're 5 feet nothing. it's basically when someone let's their ego become bigger than them and judge the entire world off of how they see themselves. "if you aren't what i like or exactly what i think you should be, i can't have anything to do with you. not even be friends with you and if i like you, it's because you have what i want other guys to have. it's not because you are who you are." they think that they're better than everybody else as if they are the ultimate gift to men outthere or the judge of other people's character. you have many dudes that think they're too good for so and so without even getting to know folks in the first place. it's shooting yourself in the foot really.

[sixthson]

Maybe it's your way of avoiding a relationship or any other kind of commitment to another person?

[Harke the Boeotarch]

by this i mean, how does one know when they're being sensibly and fairly turning someone down as opposed to just being picky and superficial?

i dont know if im saying this right... i had the idea right in my head but its hard to get out here.

basically, i feel too superficial and picky at times when it comes to potential interests. on one hand, i hope thats not the case because i want to be fair and give chances, but on the other, what am i supposed to do if im not attracted to said person, in that way? or theres not enough attraction? is it possible to be somewhere in between?

any advice/ experience(s) are welcome... or just random talk i suppose is fine. whatever :P

Sex choices are not politically correct. You don't have to be a kindergarten teacher and make sure everybody gets their turn.
You might think this sounds selfish, but you're not doing anybody any favors by dating someone you don't like.

I don't know what you want, but I'd hook up with guys that excited me and then see what happened.
If the experience was only so-so at least you had an exciting night out.

By the way, I fish in the "Bear" and "leather" ponds and I think they are better than vanilla gay culture, because I know what to expect. The Clone look is all about dressing up as the kind of guy you want to be with. It really saves a lot of grief.

[loveguys72]

It's ok to be picky to a certain extent; we all have our likes and dislikes. It becomes a problem when, as Fuji pointed out, you start eliminating potential choices because they're not exactly everything you want. Ask yourself, if a guy scored 9/10 on your wish list, and that 1/10 wasn't something horrible (violent, druggie, thief, etc.) would you still turn him down? If you answer yes, you may be too picky.

[menRsexii]

well thanks guys i appreciate the opinions. i ask because ive been told in the past that maybe im too picky... but i honestly dont think so. who im attracted to, i have no control over. and i cant push attraction on someone, obviously. this whole dating business is tricky at times haha

[loveguys72]

Indeed it is.