Do you believe corporal punishment (spanking) is an effective way to raise a child?

[CottonBolus]

Growing up, my parents used corporal punishment (spanking) to teach me the ways of life. I personally think it's an effective way to raise children; it shows a child his/her limits. Back in high school, I used to be friends with a kid who was never spanked or hit when he was a child. He told me that his parents even worked for an agency that actively encouraged parents not to hit their children. Do you think spanking is an effective to raise children? Why or why not? Were you spanked as a child?


Spanking in action.

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Not at all. I think it's a sign of weakness.

I got spanked once or twice because my father lost his patience with me, but otherwise we just got sent to our rooms.

[SaskGuy]

I was spanked as a child too, and I agree that it works.
There's a difference between spanking and child abuse though. Spanking a child when they really do something is fine, but downright beating them for the stupidest little things isn't.
If I really did something bad, my mom brought out the belt... one of those big wide ones that were in style in the '80s... but thankfully, not with the buckle side lol

[justsimon]

It's lazy and ineffective.

[BENDERBOY]

It's child abuse.

[Benvolio]

Parents should be allowed to spank, but not use a belt. It is important that the law draw a clear line so the parents can know what is allowed or not. Sometimes we read news stories of parents being prosecuted for trivial punishments because the prosecutor has an extreme idea of what is abuse.

[gsdx]

We were spanked when we were caught doing something we shouldn't have been doing, and it was immediate. None of that 'wait until your father gets home'. Still, it was only if we were doing something dangerous or harmful either to ourselves or to others. No spankings for stealing cookies from the cookie jar. There were other punishments for things like that. Same with swearing. Soap + washcloth + mouth = something you never wanted to happen again.

[justanothershyguy]

Same with swearing. Soap + washcloth + mouth = something you never wanted to happen again.

Hear hear, only happened once to me and I didn't swear for 13 years. That soap was yucky!

It depends on the parents to determine effectiveness. And the child and how well they respond to the punishment.

[AshyPhoenix]

I think it's a way for parents to vent their frustrations on their children. It's inappropriate.

[Kahaih]

We were spanked when we were caught doing something we shouldn't have been doing, and it was immediate. None of that 'wait until your father gets home'. Still, it was only if we were doing something dangerous or harmful either to ourselves or to others. No spankings for stealing cookies from the cookie jar. There were other punishments for things like that. Same with swearing. Soap + washcloth + mouth = something you never wanted to happen again.

I wonder if this stuff from your past has anything to do with your fondness for TV court programs.

[gsdx]

I wonder if this stuff from your past has anything to do with your fondness for TV court programs.

No. There's only two of the many dozens of court shows that I watch, and there really isn't much else worth watching on television these days.

[justanothershyguy]

I think it's a way for parents to vent their frustrations on their children. It's inappropriate.

No, see I don't agree completely. I'm not saying I think corporal punishment is the way to go, and there are definitely other ways to punish a child for wrongdoing without laying a finger on a child. In fact, I bet there are plenty of parents out there that hated having to do that, but the fact remains that was how they were taught not to do things too.

[Hard-up1]

When a child, I experienced a range of corporal punishment, ranging from excessive temper-fits from my mother, to malicious beltings from step-father, to reluctant spanking from my grandparents.

As a teacher, I taught high school, and the first rural school where I taught allowed football players to get out of detention hall by taking paddlings in lieu of staying after. I hated it at that level and age group, and thought it quite doltish.

From living in the U.S. for over 50 years, I have not observed better children now that corporal discipline is shunned by a significant amount of the populace. Beatings are not the answer, but simple spankings don't normally traumatize children, no matter how many vocal exceptions are trumpeted about. The appellation of abuse is an exaggeration to endorse one's own philosophy, but not too credible.

Along those lines, I don't think most children deserve to be abused, except Bender.

[HunterM]

No, corporal punishment is NOT effective. This is:

[maxpowr9]

I see it as a last resort situation. I think a good chunk of poor parenting stems for that many parents don't follow through on their punishments so their children don't learn discipline.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Growing up, my parents used corporal punishment (spanking) to teach me the ways of life. I personally think it's an effective way to raise children; it shows a child his/her limits. Back in high school, I used to be friends with a kid who was never spanked or hit when he was a child. He told me that his parents even worked for an agency that actively encouraged parents not to hit their children. Do you think spanking is an effective to raise children? Why or why not? Were you spanked as a child?


Spanking in action.

this Q a planet earth 1913 ta 2013?
or

anyway

awsum thankyou

[Kien]

When I was little, my parents would slap me, hit my hand or butt with rulers and....chopsticks. Yes, chopsticks ching chong ling long ting tong. I didn't see it as abuse though, strictly discipline. As I got older, most if it turned to yelling and lecturing.

I've mixed feelings about corporal punishment. Some kids turn out great and some don't, whether or not corporal punishment is utilized. Sometimes it's necessary, but if it could be avoided, that would be better.

[borg69unimatrix]

I grew up getting spanked. In extreme cases, and after living the last 20 years or so seeing kids in public where spanking is no longer allowed I think I'm ready for them to bring back child beating.

[oakpope]

I have never been hit by my parents, but my brother and I were naturally well behaved children.
I think it depends, on the parents and the kids. Some parents have enough personal 'aura' that a verbal rebuttal is enough. Some don't have authority. And some children are really pushing the limits and won't understand until slapped or spanked.

Obviously I won't advocate for abuse, but I think a recipe for one is not the recipe for another, and in some case a very little corporal punishment can be appropriate, as a last resort.

[Scealle]

I wasn't spanked. But me and my sister got beat with bamboo sticks pretty baldy growing up. It does discipline us a little but I remember I was pretty vengeful back then lol. My parents told us their generation had it a lot worse though.

[Kyanimal]

In my younger days, spanking kids was de rigeur (expected). It was how kids were raised. Our teachers even had paddles hanging on the wall, prominently displayed on their desks, or 'hiding' in a convenient drawer. A spanking (not a Beating) was an IMMEDIATE "Correction" used to drive the verbal remediation HOME!

And, the "Message" generally got Through!

Those were the days when the ADULTS were in Control of the schools, restaurants, supermarkets, etc., and the Home!

I got Dad's hand on Many occasions. However, never on my bare butt, nor with a switch, or belt. And, I only got ONE paddle swipe, in school (8th grade home room), even though I was usually the Teacher's Pet AND The Class Clown! (That was also a demonstration for my fellow class mates.)

The important thing is, I still REMEMBER that to THIS Day!

I don't consider "hand spanking" the same thing as "corporal punishment". Now do I consider Beating kids as anything near appropriate!

However, I also do not, given the societal changes that I've observed over the years, consider that a "Time Out" has the same effective affect.

AND, we were even 'forced' to eat whatever we happened to be served! I think I would have preferred to be Spanked MANY of those times!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

[Audio Tech]

I got spanked as a kid as well. I deserved it, usually. Grew up just fine.

I don't believe that a "spanking" is child abuse at all. Even animals swat their young to discipline them.
The new way parents are raising their children these days seems to turn them into whining, entitled brats that don't have manners any more.

[glasvegas]

My mum spanks me a lot when I was younger, especially when my grades didn't meet her expectation and I was quite a troubled child as well. I used to dislike her but as I grow older, I realised that if she didn't do that, I will not be who I am now and I really glad she did. And now watching the next generation of my family which practice no spanking, I can see why we are producing a bunch of rude people.

[JayHawk]

Bottom line is the practice was effective and it was equally abused by folks ill suited for parenting. The abuse ended the practice.

How does a baby learn fire is hot? Typically through a painful encounter that is not to terribly harmful.

My parents and my teachers administered corporal punishment. however it was never abusive. The penalty was explained prior to the crime being committed by me. The reasoning was explained again and the swat or licks with a belt were given. Then the shitty part started.... at home at least. Then my Dad talked and talked and talked some fucking more. Seriously as I got older, I wanted to say "Please spare me the details, I knew the punishment but felt the risk was worth the price"

The key point is that a lesson was always a part of the equation and my parents and to a certain extent my educators loved me and were doing it to better me. I had friends whose parents abused that and my friends. I watched my Father beat the shit out of our neighbor after AJ came over with bruises, AJ's mom answered the door with a busted face. So my father proceeded to bust that assholes face in. The asshole didn't return while they lived near us for two more years. I have no idea after that.

I knew there were boundaries and reasons for physical punishment and what abuse was and why it was not tolerated. I do not think that mindset exist anymore. Too many mothers leaving their babies in garbage cans and fathers shaking their babies to death. Something got lost when parents stopped teaching what was justified physicality and what was not. I don't know that we will ever get it back.

If I get my wish and raise children then corporal punishment and a measured fashion will be a part of their rearing.

[csb999]

Historically note gradually since perhaps the 17th century we have gradually dropped physical-corporal punishment , the most significant possibly being the drop maybe 19th century in our prisons-penal system the shift from the basic idea of prisons as punishment to the idea of rehabilitation . Also animals , the founding of the SPCA in the 1830s and the gradual drop in blood sports for animals . Interesting note English language usage that we commonly refer to methods of physical punishment and execution that have not been usual for maybe 300 years : walking the plank , keel-hauling , burned at the stake .

[Anders123]

I never learned anything from corporal punishment other than how to resent my parents. Then again, I recognise my bias as too often the punishment I received was extreme and unwarranted. I think when a child is left alone in his room for hours, crying and vomiting with a fractured finger after his 'corporal punishment', the line to abuse has most certainly been crossed.

Personally, I would never hit a child. Not just because of the memories that still plague me from many years ago, but also because of what I learned in my developmental psychology classes. I admit though that it's a difficult subject for me to view objectively, and that may have impacted my interpretation of the subject matter. My reaction is visceral, and if I'm being wholly honest, most of the studies I've read only seem to show a correlational relationship at best with the negative impacts of corporal punishment, but I just can't seem to view it as a valid method of discipline, especially with the amount of research I'd have to disregard to do.

[csb999]

also restricting physical violence against POWs as a concept the various Geneva Conventions .

[refujiunderground]

was spanked as a child by my mom when i wasn't acting right or did stupid shit. worked with my bro and me.

me personally, i feel that most folks that haven't been spanked by their parents ultimately end up not showing respect to their parents, authority figures, and the people around them as in they'll talk to them anyway they want to, give them an attitude, and a whole lot of disrespectful shit. that's what i've noticed. you'll have these same folks testing their boundaries with others because they think that people are going to take it easy to them or tolerate them since their parents simply just talked to them and were scared to lay down the law to them. that's why you have these kids, teenagers and young adults running around disrespecting everybody, doing whatever and ending up fucking themselves over when they forget that they're not free to do whatever to whoever.

[RazorzEdge88]

I never learned anything from corporal punishment other than how to resent my parents. Then again, I recognise my bias as too often the punishment I received was extreme and unwarranted. I think when a child is left alone in his room for hours, crying and vomiting with a fractured finger after his 'corporal punishment', the line to abuse has most certainly been crossed.

Personally, I would never hit a child. Not just because of the memories that still plague me from many years ago, but also because of what I learned in my developmental psychology classes. I admit though that it's a difficult subject for me to view objectively, and that may have impacted my interpretation of the subject matter. My reaction is visceral, and if I'm being wholly honest, most of the studies I've read only seem to show a correlational relationship at best with the negative impacts of corporal punishment, but I just can't seem to view it as a valid method of discipline, especially with the amount of research I'd have to disregard to do.

That's what I keep encountering as well.

Best evidence for me: I was spanked (and I'm still an irreverent fuck), yet my cousins who weren't turned out great.

I don't think it's entirely horrible (I feel like it didn't scar me), but I definitely think it's possibly to raise children quite effectively without it.

[csb999]

maybe pertaining to the idea of gun control for non-Americans - gradually as a culture we have dropped almost all expressions of non-governmental personal violence - duelling as a concept . But I do think the issue of gun control in the US carries with it a vast number of other very different issues .

[oakpope]

me personally, i feel that most folks that haven't been spanked by their parents ultimately end up not showing respect to their parents, authority figures, and the people around them

I beg to differ. I have never been slapped or spanked by my parents and I have always been told I was a very polite and well behaved child. So I don't believe in generalization in this.

[Anders123]

I don't think it's entirely horrible (I feel like it didn't scar me), but I definitely think it's possibly to raise children quite effectively without it.

I think what attracts people to the idea of corporal punishment is that it works quickly, that is if the only intended purpose is to stop the child from doing the specific thing he or she is being punished for. If the child fears being hurt physically, then of course hitting them can temporarily put a stop problematic behaviour, but I think it's incredibly short-sighted to conclude that therefore it is an effective and appropriate method of discipline. It's failing to consider the possibility that a child being hit might influence their perspective on conflict resolution, for a weak example.

I think the problem is that most other methods require time, patience, and consistency. Why bother with all of that when hitting them is such a 'quick fix'?

Oops, is my bias showing again?

[blackbeltninja]

I don't there is a blanket answer which is correct when it comes to whether or not it is effective. I think at some point it stops being effective if overused.

I disagree with the view that it is child abuse in essence, though. Fact is, when kids are really small, there is no reasoning with them. It shouldn't be necessary; once told that (whatever it is) is not on, that should be the end of it. After being told twice or three times, a light smack on the butt should function as a suitable deterrent. The reasons will make sense later, hopefully; for now, the kid just needs to know that it will not be tolerated and that there will be consequences.

It probably helps that I was a fast learner. After my first or second smack, I learned that no means no and that I could carry on pushing if I wanted to get into trouble. I don't think I got smacked more than three times in my life.

-d-

[ravenstar]

What does it say to the child when you tell it not to hit another and then spank it for not doing what you want?

I was never hit by my parents. I knew the boundaries. There are more effective ways to discipline a child than the smack it.

[sixthson]

Discipline is a necessary part of raising children. I'm sure for most good parents, it's the least favorite part of child rearing.
Should a parent opt not to discipline by spanking, that does not mean grounding the child, taking away some privilege or even simple time-outs are any easier. No matter what form of discipline a parent chooses, he suffers right along with his child. At least good parents do. For those who think talking to the child is a good alternative, you should know that good parents use talk along with whatever punishment they choose to administer.

Notice, I say good parents as opposed to bad parents who use discipline to make themselves feel better.

[onetwothreefour]

If you ask a group of people what spanking is and what abuse is you will find a wide, wide variety of opinions. There are children being abused right now whose parents don't think they are abusing them. That judge in Texas who beat his daughter in the most violent way thought what he did was perfectly fine.

I am personally against it. But I think even if you're for the legality of it, there is a problem in that it isn't defined. I don't see the point in arguing about the matter of degree. The only way to curb abuse is to draw a line in the sand and say that hitting is wrong. That way there is no ambiguity in the matter.

I mean we could start saying that it's okay for a husband to spank his wife (not in a sexual or otherwise consensual way) as long as it's not abuse. But why even go there when it's not necessary? Why even create degrees of acceptability?

Spanking has been illegal in Sweden since the 1960s and that country does pretty well for itself.

[hylas]

me personally, i feel that most folks that haven't been spanked by their parents ultimately end up not showing respect to their parents, authority figures, and the people around them as in they'll talk to them anyway they want to, give them an attitude, and a whole lot of disrespectful shit.

i hear that sentiment often from people who advocate spanking. it pisses me off a little. its such an easy thing to say. but i dont think one should be making such statements if one doesnt have some solid sources. so you see people/children/youths being disrespectful in one way or another. how do you know if they got spanked as children or not?

throughout history, people have always been complaining how the young ones today have no manners and are loud and disrespectful. that discussion is an old hat and has nothing to do with spanking.

i have been spanked when i was little. my brother never got spanked. we both turned out alright, and not to brag, but older people (were both in our 20es) sometimes remark how good our manners are. so, im strictly against spanking of children, since i see with my own eyes that it doesnt seem to make any difference.

spanking of adults, on the other hand...

[blackbeltninja]

What does it say to the child when you tell it not to hit another and then spank it for not doing what you want?

I believe it says "Do as you're told, because I am in charge."

-d-

[Kahaih]

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the playground bully.

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the rapist.

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the mugger.

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the abusive officer.

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the school shooter.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

[Hard-up1]

What does it say to the child when you tell it not to hit another and then spank it for not doing what you want?

"Not doing what you want" implies a very arbitrary standard. It ignores that the majority of parenting is in fact teaching a child what is safe, what is right, and the like. That phrasing just reduces it to a contest of wills in which a bigger person wins simply by beating down the smaller person. That really isn't what is happening in a parent/child interaction, at least not the normal healthy one. If one uses that rationale, one can also dismiss all positive reinforcements as simple attempts at indoctrination and mind control.

What does it say to a child when you drive a car but he is not allowed to?

What does it say to a child when you are having sex but he is supposed to wait for about 15-20 years?

What does it say to a child when you drink alcohol but he is forbidden?

What does it say to a child when you go to work every day and pay taxes and clean house and he plays?

The notion that children must compare adult worlds and children's worlds and make perfect rationalizations is not sound. Children DO get that there is a difference, just as children being spanked GET whether an adult was indulging anger or trying to shape behaviors.

To the stated point that children become confused, that doesn't cut it. If an adult is spanking a child for fighting on the playground, the child notices that the adult doing it is not in turn fighting with his "playmates," so the point is made correctly. If the parent is in fact violent, like both Jayhawk's dad and his neighbor, then a different message is conveyed.

As for parents who swat a toddler's behind, the point is well made that is isn't intended to hurt at that age so much as get his attention when nothing else has succeeded, far from just being a lazy response, it is rather an immediate response. The reliance on it when a child is older probably does indicate a true lack of will to find other ways, but I'm not condemning that without raising a kid myself.

Many parents get it wrong by shaming the child unnecessarily, by eagerly dominating when alternatives exist, or by pointlessly public humiliation. It is a difficult task, and many get parts of parenting wrong until they learn.

To those who were actually abused by beatings, I am sorry any child has to endure that. It just shouldn't happen. People helped me get out of an abusive parenting scenario when I was a child, and I hope we all are sensitive to those kids around us to see when they are being likewise ill-treated, and I don't mean a simple spanking.

[Kahaih]

It often seems quite obvious, to me, that some adults were misused so badly that they’re still too terrified to say their parents were wrong about anything, and will continue to make excuses for them.

[blackbeltninja]

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the playground bully.

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the rapist.

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the mugger.

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the abusive officer.

"Do as you're told, because I am in charge." said the school shooter.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

If you honestly want to equate a wilful toddler/minor child with these folks, that's your problem.

-d-

[PreTTy PeTe]

If you have to hit your child then you are poor excuse for parent.

I was never hit but I knew my parents were in charge. They knew how to raise kids.

I turned out perfect with a few flaws

[Kahaih]

If you honestly want to equate a wilful toddler/minor child with these folks, that's your problem.

-d-

“These folks” = the victim in each scenario

Yes.

And don’t pretend you didn’t understand that, or you’ll just appear desperate and reckless.

[guyfromNY]

I didn't learn anything from it except to despise my father. I think that if you have any control over your children to begin with, then you shouldn't need to resort to physical violence.

[jdcnow]

Having done almost 11 and a half years in storefront retail, working with the public, I have seen many unruly kids in my day that, at the very least, need to have their parent get up in their face within an inch of their life. But is spanking the answer to that? I don't know. /thoughtful...

No two kids are alike - what works effectively on one will have no effect whatsoever on another. But boundaries do need to be set with kids, some way, somehow.

On rare occasions, I was spanked, and, honestly, there was a time or two where I deserved every bit of what I got. The adult I am today, would have knocked the kid I was into next week for doing what I did. And I never did that again.

[chrisrobin]

I do not. However, capital punishment should be practiced. If children disrespect their parents, they should be put to death. Let me explain:

According to Leviticus 20:9... King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
"For every one that curses his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him."

If one believes that "homosexuality is an abomination," execution of intransigent children is a logical step. I'd go for stoning rather than lethal injection, though. No point in being "humane."

[TheSpectatingLoner]

Don't even want to spank a child. One of the reasons I'll never have any.

[Rolyo85]

LIGHT spanking is effective with babies, but from the moment the kid could actually be reasoned with (so, about their 4th year or so), it is an absolute anathema to good upbringing. All it teaches the kid are two vile and disgusting things:

1. It is ok to hit the people you are angry with.

2. It is ok to hit the people you love.

[DanikShade]

My mother was and is a verbally emotionally and occasionally physically abusive cunt. She has to strip away your self worth in order for her to feel superior to you. After living with that until I was 18 I can tell you it actually help me because I've never struck my own son. We've had heated discussions, but I'm careful not to attack his person because my Mother taught me how it feels. My son is an A student, I think there's adequate proof to my methods lol. He turned out pretty good. He graduates in May.