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  1. #51

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Hey guys, since we met we haven't missed a day without texting--until last night. We didn't text the whole day.

    I invited him to dinner back on Tuesday (it's Thursday now) but he declined because he was watching a movie with a friend. He said, "Can we do dinner another night soon? Sorry." We haven't talked since then. When do I text him again? I initiated the past two texts before on Monday and Tuesday, asking him how he was. Seeing as he was the one who declined my invitation, I'd think it's proper for him to text.

    I know this all sounds silly but we're still at that point where we're skating on thin ice, trying to not be clingy.

  2. #52

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Hold out, and see how long it takes him to text you.
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  3. #53

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by locksmithers View Post
    Hey guys, since we met we haven't missed a day without texting--until last night. We didn't text the whole day.

    I invited him to dinner back on Tuesday (it's Thursday now) but he declined because he was watching a movie with a friend. He said, "Can we do dinner another night soon? Sorry." We haven't talked since then. When do I text him again? I initiated the past two texts before on Monday and Tuesday, asking him how he was. Seeing as he was the one who declined my invitation, I'd think it's proper for him to text.

    I know this all sounds silly but we're still at that point where we're skating on thin ice, trying to not be clingy.

    Ooops Too late for that.

    Why all the game playing and subterfuge? If you really like the guy, just put it out there. Missing a day of texting isn't the end of the world. It is 24 hours. (see my first statement)

    Ok the kissing thing is no big. There are a lot of guys that aren't big kissers. I know. I'm one. I only kiss someone that I am way into. I am definitely not a casual kisser.

  4. #54
    Slut LemonMonk's Avatar
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    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Speaking as a younger guy [19 years], I always want to be with older guys, just anyone who is older, 24 sure. I am in a LGBT group at uni with many others my age who feel the same way. The idea of being with someone who knows what they're doing in the sack [who can teach you], they have their shit together [stability, to be less crass] and who can be more assertive does it.

    For me you're not showing anything in way of stability and dithering about letting him know your age is something that'd have made me run a mile away. I'd have let him know your age before the initial time you had sex, if I lie whilst on the pull, before screwing [before leaving the club generally] I'll spill the beans. If they can't handle it, they don't have to come back with me.

    You say you are worried about scars on yourself, I have scars, two bad ones and one that isn't so bad, have a largish one on my left butt cheek, I loathe it, a very noticeable burn on my left thigh, worry lines on my forehead.. They don't stop me. He must know you've got them, you said you're not fucking in complete dark, he knows. The scarring/other marks are an excuse, from what I've found, scars and stuff look far worse to the one with them, because they're self-conscious about them. I know I feel that way, when those I've fucked do not consider them off putting.

    I agree with some on kissing, fucking means less emotionally than kissing for me.

    You like him, he might still like you. Even if things don't work out, you've learnt from this. Do not lie, it only makes trouble down the line.

    Are/were things working whilst you were just fucking? You might find it will never develop past that stage, but is that really a bad thing? I would argue that it isn't, there are many more guys on the planet. If you're worried you're not going to sleep with a younger guy again, remember what I said before, a fair amount of younger guys are mad for older guys.
    Last edited by LemonMonk; February 21st, 2013 at 03:50 PM.

  5. #55
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
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    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by locksmithers View Post
    Hey guys, since we met we haven't missed a day without texting--until last night. We didn't text the whole day.

    I invited him to dinner back on Tuesday (it's Thursday now) but he declined because he was watching a movie with a friend. He said, "Can we do dinner another night soon? Sorry." We haven't talked since then.
    If I were you I would have texted him back and said "Sure. Let me know what works for you."

  6. #56

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Soooooo another chapter begins. We had dinner at a restaurant with fairly good lighting (but it was still at night), which ended up with him sleeping over to my place. We saw each other again two nights ago. He invited me over to his place to meet his female roommate, but we ate at a restaurant first where we chatted. It was allll good. I slept over to his place and he dropped me off school in the morning (but the sun wasn't out yet so he couldn't fully see my acne).

    Anyway, here's the rub. We've been meeting sporadically over the course of 3 weeks now and we discuss different topics. One that always comes up is his exes. He said that his exes have been under 30 years old because he's not interested in older men at all. That his age range should be 20-28 only. He reiterated this point several times in different meetings. He also said he's had a lot of exes in the past because he's such a pretty boy.

    Anyway last night I was talking to my drag queen friend whom I always vent to. He's in the gay circle so he knows people. I'm new to the city and dont attend clubs so I don't know anyone. Anyway, he was like, "So your bf likes older men. What do you think of that?" I thought he was joking but he said he was serious. He already mentioned this before but I didn't think much of it since my guy said the opposite on multiple occasions. But my drag queen friend brought this up twice now so I didn't think he was kidding. He said he used to see my guy and the older guy at the club a lot, with PDA even. I couldn't believe what he was saying now that he was going over more details.

    My drag queen friend gave the Facebook of the old guy. I saw that we had another common friend, so I asked that other friend if my guy and this older guy were together. He said yes. They were together 2 years ago. The older guy's Facebook now shows that he's with another young guy.

    Anyway I don't give a fuck who he's dated or that he's dated older men. What kind of hurts me is how he's been lying. Now the tables have turned and I'm the one receiving the lying end. I haven't confronted him about it. I know exes are a dangerous territory so he may have an explanation but I want him to tell me himself.

  7. #57

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Maybe he just uses the older guys for drinks and $$$, but only wants a relationship with younger guys ?
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  8. #58

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Doubtful. He works two jobs and earns a lot per hour.

  9. #59
    On the Prowl 2untru's Avatar
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    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    I'd get over it. We all say things that may not be 100% true ( as you admitted to doing). Maybe the experience with the older guy turned him off of older men and caused him to have an age limit. Your drag queen friend sounds like a good friend for telling you the first time, but sounds like he's doing a little extra for telling you multiple times. You fed into it by digging up dirt and asking other friends. Enjoy the short time you'll be together by being yourself and getting to know each other.

    Now if he decides to tell you he was a gay virgin eskimo (or some other obvious lie), then you might have reason for concern.

  10. #60
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by locksmithers View Post
    Soooooo another chapter begins. We had dinner at a restaurant with fairly good lighting (but it was still at night), which ended up with him sleeping over to my place. We saw each other again two nights ago. He invited me over to his place to meet his female roommate, but we ate at a restaurant first where we chatted. It was allll good. I slept over to his place and he dropped me off school in the morning (but the sun wasn't out yet so he couldn't fully see my acne).

    Anyway, here's the rub. We've been meeting sporadically over the course of 3 weeks now and we discuss different topics. One that always comes up is his exes. He said that his exes have been under 30 years old because he's not interested in older men at all. That his age range should be 20-28 only. He reiterated this point several times in different meetings. He also said he's had a lot of exes in the past because he's such a pretty boy.

    Anyway last night I was talking to my drag queen friend whom I always vent to. He's in the gay circle so he knows people. I'm new to the city and dont attend clubs so I don't know anyone. Anyway, he was like, "So your bf likes older men. What do you think of that?" I thought he was joking but he said he was serious. He already mentioned this before but I didn't think much of it since my guy said the opposite on multiple occasions. But my drag queen friend brought this up twice now so I didn't think he was kidding. He said he used to see my guy and the older guy at the club a lot, with PDA even. I couldn't believe what he was saying now that he was going over more details.

    My drag queen friend gave the Facebook of the old guy. I saw that we had another common friend, so I asked that other friend if my guy and this older guy were together. He said yes. They were together 2 years ago. The older guy's Facebook now shows that he's with another young guy.

    Anyway I don't give a fuck who he's dated or that he's dated older men. What kind of hurts me is how he's been lying. Now the tables have turned and I'm the one receiving the lying end. I haven't confronted him about it. I know exes are a dangerous territory so he may have an explanation but I want him to tell me himself.
    Oh, cut the bullshit, ok? First of all, just because he says that NOW he isn't into old guys, doesn't mean he's lying. He could have just changed his tastes. That does happen.

    What I would be INFINITELY more worried about is the fact that he could say that he has "many exes because he's such a pretty boy". That to me speaks volumes about how shallow and self-obsessed he is. Do you really need someone like that? I will also remind you that you two met on CL which is the symbol of trashy hook ups. I would pay less attention to bullshit drama material like "who has he been with before me?!" and focus more on "what kind of person he actually is?" which is about a million times more important.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  11. #61
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Every now and then, we get someone who seems really troubled that things are going okay or even good in a relationship. It's almost as if they can't believe that things are okay, so they have to some fault.

    Is it really so difficult just to relax and enjoy it for whatever it is?
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  12. #62
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
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    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Maybe he just uses the older guys for drinks and $$$, but only wants a relationship with younger guys ?
    I'm thinking this may be true. Alternatively, he could be telling you he isn't into older guys because while he may be attracted to older guys, he thinks it's a weird trait about himself. I know I used to feel that way when I was younger.

    Regardless, I really don't see it as that big of an issue. If you do think it's an issue, then talk to him, but I would approach the subject in a light manner.

  13. #63

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    HEY GUYS. Another update. The ex thing was an old issue, it didn't even matter.

    So the last time I saw this guy was last Thursday. The morning of, he texted me saying he was sad because his dad just had a bypass surgery and was confined to a hospital. The operation was a success, he was sad because he won't see him until a few days after. But he still came over my house, we watched YouTube videos together, I gave him a massage, touched his back lightly after, then we had oral sex. Then after, we sort of had a standing up arm fight playfully. He called me a "girl" jokingly because I fight "funny". He was laughing but I was too tired to laugh along. After that night, around 2 am when he got home, he texted me saying, "That was great. Thanks for the great night. Sorry if I was playing with you, you're fun to play with." I replied and that's that.

    So on Friday I initiated texting him, inviting him to a movie/dinner. He said he can't because he has to visit his dad. I said "Oh I forgot. Sorry. But use me as your distraction." He said "Lol ok great."

    Then on Saturday night, before going to bed around 11, I texted him with a joke. He said "lol". I replied "That's my attempt to make you feel better for the night. Hope you're feeling better!"

    Then I skipped Sunday night.

    Monday night, I texted him at 11 saying I couldn't sleep. He replied 3 hours later (which was weird to me as he always has his cellphone with him) saying "Aw lol well I hope you're feeling better. You're just tired." I couldn't sleep that night, and my insomnia turned into paranoia. I went on his Facebook and saw he had new friends added earlier that night - guys my age. We're not friends on Facebook but I could see who he just added as friends. So I basically had a nervous breakdown and imagined him hooking up, the reason for him not replying for 3 hours, between 11pm - 2 am (which is the interval of us usually meeting up).

    The next day Tuesday I cleared up my mind. I thought I was being silly. Admittedly I was. I texted him "Hey, cheap Tuesday today if you want to watch a movie/dinner." He said "I can't. My dad just got out. I have to spend time with them." I said, "Oh ok. I'm using your positivity to get me through the day!"

    Now, some of you may be thinking, I'm really clingy. Yes, I really am. I realized that. So I decided to stop initiating my texts for now and let him come to me instead while I focus on my studying. There's a downside to that: What if he needs being texted and asked how his day went on a regular basis?

    And I've been paranoid/clingy just because we've never gone a day without texting each other. We usually alternate who initiates texting. I also haven't seen him for a week now. We've never gone that long before. I haven't texted him until Tuesday. How long do I play this role? What if he moves on?

  14. #64
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    From the incredibly boring and inconsequential details you just shared, I conclude that you're not just clingy, but so insecure about yourself that you're trying to dissect every little detail to find hidden meaning where none exists.

    Haven't you heard? We do that BEFORE we get the guy

    Have you guys talked about what it is you're doing? You're clearly into the guy and want him exclusively, but you haven't made it official if I remember correctly. So, maybe you should. Because trust me - this type of obsession is VERY easy to read on the outside and if you keep it up, you'll push him away.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  15. #65

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    If you will consider his offer for a long term opportunity, I guess you need to tell the truth right now and do not prolong it, you need to tell it right away. He lied to you, even though he confessed to you the same night but that is still a lie. If he really wants you he might understand. You need to clear off all your strings of lie if you wanted a real relationship.

  16. #66

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    He likes you a lot but would like to take it on a slow pace. If you are considering an intimate relationship with this guy then I think you should tell him, if you want him for sex alone then just leave it.

  17. #67

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Just tell the truth and move on.

  18. #68

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    Just leave it and move on. You do not know him very well yet so it is alright.

  19. #69

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    No worries,it does not matter at all. Just tell him the truth.

  20. #70

    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    It is not a big deal to me.

  21. #71
    JUB Addict MindBlast's Avatar
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    Re: I lied about my age! Please help!

    From your last post, I just have to tell you that thinking about the texting and Facebook habits of a guy you like is a bad idea. It's drama for its own sake. How about you just talk to him in person. Ask him when he's free, not "Are you free yet? How about now? How about now? What about now?" which is what you've been doing indirectly.

    And let me tell you, very, very few men are into being spammed with texts daily, especially needy texts. And, if he's too busy to hang out with you once in awhile, then maybe he's just not that into you.

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