Bringing boyfriend to family meet for the first time in my life

[animalius]

I'm so nervous. So, now that it is official everyone except my parents know, my sister (who just found out this morning from my other sister) has formally invited my b/f and I to a family gathering at her place this weekend. Chinese new year.

I've brought plenty of "girlfriends" to these meets, but never a boyfriend. Don't really know what to expect. Awkwardness or what.

[Laufey]

Please tell me your parents won't be there. It will be too much to find out AND meet your boyfriend at the same time.

[animalius]

Please tell me your parents won't be there. It will be too much to find out AND meet your boyfriend at the same time.

No, they won't be there. My folks are out of the country right now. They're taking a 5 months vacation in tropical climate.

[G-Lexington]

It's really no big deal. Act like you brought a friend over, and they'll interact on that level.

Lex

[rareboy]

Is this the one that can't calculate a lease cost properly?

Jesus.

Don't let him open his mouth.

[DigitalFudge]

It's really no big deal. Act like you brought a friend over, and they'll interact on that level.

Lex

Pretty much, you will set the tone at this event. Your body language, demeanor, and attitude will signal to everyone else on how to deal with the situation.


Just go and enjoy your family. If you make this bigger than what it is, it will be bigger than it is.

[FPNY]

wow..how cool for you. everything will be fine i'm sure, just don't give each other handjobs under the table....

[Maklaar13]

Don't worry about it too much, sometimes we worry too much and that is why we make fools of ourselves. My partners parents invited me for "thanksgiving" dinner after we had been dating for a few years. Being gay was never discussed, we knew they knew but it was something we never talk about, I was the first person they had ever invited to their house for such an occasion. His father was a big asshole, who did not like anyone and furthermore would never bother with anyone who was not white or straight. Furthermore, he was secretly dealing with the fact that his little boy was gay and dating a latino, his mother was a sweetheart and very kind to me. I never expected to be invited, ever, and was nervous as hell and simply did not want to go at all. We got there and I put my super powers to good use, helped in the kitchen, made conversation and to my surprise I found that his dad and I had a lot of interests in common. Wouldn't you know it, on the first bite of food, I bit into a turkey bone and broke a tooth pretty badly, it was quite painful and I did not know what to do. Eventually his mother notice that I was not eating and ask me why, so, I had to confess, it completely broke the ice, we laugh and I went into the bathroom to check on my mouth, came back we finished dinner and had a great time. After that I never was afraid at all of the family gatherings. And for the record it was only the four of us at that dinner, yes, mom, dad, my partner and I.

[animalius]

Is this the one that can't calculate a lease cost properly?

Jesus.

Don't let him open his mouth.

Haha, he's not that bad. Just young.

[animalius]

Don't worry about it too much, sometimes we worry too much and that is why we make fools of ourselves. My partners parents invited me for "thanksgiving" dinner after we had been dating for a few years. Being gay was never discussed, we knew they knew but it was something we never talk about, I was the first person they had ever invited to their house for such an occasion. His father was a big asshole, who did not like anyone and furthermore would never bother with anyone who was not white or straight. Furthermore, he was secretly dealing with the fact that his little boy was gay and dating a latino, his mother was a sweetheart and very kind to me. I never expected to be invited, ever, and was nervous as hell and simply did not want to go at all. We got there and I put my super powers to good use, helped in the kitchen, made conversation and to my surprise I found that his dad and I had a lot of interests in common. Wouldn't you know it, on the first bite of food, I bit into a turkey bone and broke a tooth pretty badly, it was quite painful and I did not know what to do. Eventually his mother notice that I was not eating and ask me why, so, I had to confess, it completely broke the ice, we laugh and I went into the bathroom to check on my mouth, came back we finished dinner and had a great time. After that I never was afraid at all of the family gatherings. And for the record it was only the four of us at that dinner, yes, mom, dad, my partner and I.

The only thing that could become a problem is his pickiness of food. He's your typical white young guy that only knows hamburger and french fries. Not very adventurous. Living with me, he's had more new foods than he ever had in his life.

I still haven't been able to shake his habit off of him. You know, the habit of pronouncing he doesn't like certain foods before he even tried them. To me, it's a moral failing.

[Keeland]

I hope you taught him the difference between the hamburger fork and the fries fork.

[umjreon88]

Etiquette is most important in an Asian household, especially during dinner! Never voice your displeasure at the host's cooking nor fidget with the cutleries. In some households, you have to address everyone (most importantly, the elders) before you can even touch the food!

I sure hope your boyfriend doesn't screw this up.

On another note, OMG! Chinese New Year in a few days! Time to cook loads of food and stock on them pineapple tarts!

[alphaxxx]

Hope it all goes well for you and that you have a good time

[LatimerRd]

You should take a look at Ang Lee's wonderful movie, "The Wedding Banquet".
Relax and have a great time!

[animalius]

You should take a look at Ang Lee's wonderful movie, "The Wedding Banquet".
Relax and have a great time!

Saw it. Cute movie. Here's the thing, he successfully had sex with that girl. I'm so homo I can't even get it up for a girl. Trust me, I've tried many times with all kinds of girls.

[JWaggy]

Haha, he's not that bad. Just young.

Quit it with that, it's not as endearing as you may think. Unless he's 12 years old with a fistful of crayons, he's not too young for that concept to have come easily (let alone the fact that he doesn't seem to know ham and pork are of the same animal).

[animalius]

Is this the one that can't calculate a lease cost properly?

Jesus.

Don't let him open his mouth.

For your info, we got a new car for him. Best deal I've ever seen. Looks like new. Low miles. Engine runs perfectly. Sun roof. Got it for half the price it was worth (literally). Been test driving it for almost a week. Still can't find anything wrong with it.

[rareboy]

Haha, he's not that bad. Just young.

This could creep everyone else in your family out.

[BreakTheIce]

It's really no big deal. Act like you brought a friend over, and they'll interact on that level.

Lex

Good advice from the gay gargoyle

[Hard-up1]

To me, it's a moral failing.

Really? Moral?

Is he equally unwilling to try wearing lace panties or a construction helmet as fashion? So it is immoral to prefer jeans without trying fishnet stockings?

Taste is taste. How does it connote immorality?

That it is rude, no doubt, but morality is normally a term reserved for behaviors and attitudes that cause real harm.

[Ganoderma]

So, now that it is official everyone except my parents know, my sister (who just found out this morning from my other sister) has formally invited my b/f and I to a family gathering at her place this weekend. Chinese new year.

hi animalius,

Great that your sister formally invited you with your boyfriend to this family gathering (Chinese New Year), as this formal invitation also means that she (and your parents) considers him as your boyfriend / partner.

I tend to think that you boyfriend will also be curious to get to know your parents and other members of your family. Compare yourself with the first time when a straight guy brings his girlfriend with him to such a family meeting. Often, such straight guys also have no idea how the rest of the family will react on her. Besides that, the family of this straight guy also won't ask questions to him what he is doing when he is staying with his girlfriend during the night.

Maybe you should prepare your boyfriend abit about the type of food he will get. Don't bother too much about this as well, and you might even consider this as a nice way that he will learn more about your background.

Good luck and please keep us informed.