Hey everyone, I need some unbiased insight into a something I've done three times already and I cant seem to figure out why
Ive been dating my boyfriend since May 2011. We are just like any relationship, we have our awesome moments and our 'I wanna slap you" moments. Anyway, this is the longest relationship Ive ever been in so I definitely wasnt prepared for everything a relationship entails, not that im trying to make excuses though... Anyway back in Sept 2012, I gave my "straight" friend a blowjob. Its someone I had screwed around with in the past while I was single. About a month later, I told my bf and it tore him up inside but he loves me so much that he didnt break up with me.
About a month later, we were going through a rough patch where we just seemed so distant from each other.. We werent as close as usual or didnt even talk as much and I guess that cause of that, I decided to go for round 2 with the same guy. This time, when I told my bf, he felt guilty too for the distance thing and he said he didnt blame me, which didnt make a difference in my eyes.
Than, about 3wks ago, I blew another guy. Actually, it was the guy I was supposed to go on a date with one night back in May 2011, he blew me off(n.p.i) and I ended up going to Applebees with my current bf. I told my bf last night and we were on the phone for about an hour and once again, he forgave me. Havent talked to him in person though yet.
I am just so confused right now and dont have anyone I can consult about this.. What confuses me the most is that I love him and I know i do and in terms of a relationship, I dont wanna be with anyone else. The weird thing is that Ive dated a few guys before and my bf has really never dated anyone before me and he has always been faithful to me but obviously im unable to do the same.. I dont know why I keep doing this to him, Im not bored with our sex life or anything and I still am very attracted to him
Sorry for the long winded thing here but I really need some input from you guys.. Thanks in advance