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Thread: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

      
   
  1. #1
    I spell spelled spelt
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    Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Yesterday afternoon, I got news from my younger sister that my oldest brother had been diagnosed with lung cancer. http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...-a-bad-brother Tonight, I got news from that same sister that my brother died yesterday evening. He collapsed on the bathroom floor at about 4:30 PM and died a few hours later in hospital.

    He was cremated this morning. There will be no service.

    I'm shocked that it happened so fast after receiving the news, but I'm not feeling any other emotions.

    If he died that quickly after being diagnosed, he must have been quite far along. At least he can rest peacefully now.

  2. #2
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Sorry to hear.

    Lex

  3. #3
    AshyPhoenix
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    I know there no love between you and your brother, but it always comes as a shock when someone you know dies.


  4. #4
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    My condolences to you. I hope you find comfort.

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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    That is quick. Odd that there is no process. That part is for the living not the dead ya know? My condolences on your loss.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    my condolences, man. sorry for your loss. my thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  7. #7
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Wow, that was sudden. I'm terribly sorry to hear.

    If you do find yourself feeling other emotions though, please feel free to PM me. I'm always here to talk.

  8. #8
    Pianist
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    *pours out*

    *sits quietly*

  9. #9
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Very sad, may he rest in peace and I hope you are okay.
    Never cease to find it strange
    How at midnight things seem hopeless
    But by dawn they've changed

  10. #10
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Wow. So sorry to hear about your loss.

  11. #11
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Do you have any childhood memory when he were under 10, in his teen and in his 20s ?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    I'm really sorry to hear this about your brother.

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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    Do you have any childhood memory when he were under 10, in his teen and in his 20s ?
    Just one off the top of my head. When I was a kid, we had a wood stove in our huge kitchen. Whenever my brother got angry (before he was old enough to drive), he would go out back to the woodpile and chop wood. Our kitchen was toasty and warm all winter long. . . at least as long as my brother still lived at home.

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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    From what I've experienced, there is no need to feel any particular emotion on any particular schedule… I tend to be an "after the fact" person because sometimes the significance of any of life's events takes a while to figure out. Take care.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte.

  15. #15
    M10000
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Gsdx,
    I am very sorry to hear about your brother. He was probably spared a lot of suffering that others go through so that is something to be thankful for. I'm sorry you didn't have a good relationship with him.
    I wish you well in dealing with your loss
    :-/

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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    I am sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through, I was not close at all to my brother and he passed away from an accident 6 years ago. It took me a long time to fully process the loss and to achieve some peace with it.

  17. #17
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Quote Originally Posted by gsdx View Post
    Just one off the top of my head. When I was a kid, we had a wood stove in our huge kitchen. Whenever my brother got angry (before he was old enough to drive), he would go out back to the woodpile and chop wood. Our kitchen was toasty and warm all winter long. . . at least as long as my brother still lived at home.

    That was dangerous with an axe in his hand.
    I guess chopping wood was a good thing.


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  18. #18
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    That was dangerous with an axe in his hand.
    It wasn't dangerous. It was life. If we didn't chop wood, we didn't stay warm.

  19. #19
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Neil ...

    I'm truly sorry to hear about that, but I also know that for many of us, when something like that happens, there may be a "break" between what we DO feel, and what we're SUPPOSED to feel.

    In any case, whenever we do loose someone close, even though they may not have been Close, it can take some time before our feelings finally "gel".

    Through my time, I have lost older relatives, friends, co-workers, my youngest sister, cousins, nephews/nieces, and it's never been an "easy" time for me, with any of them, especially when they were younger than me. However, none of them have been exactly the same. It has depended on the individual, and how TRULY Close I felt to them.

    Death is, indeed, a part of Life. And, something that ALL of us will eventually face, too. "We are ALL Spiritual Beings experiencing a Temporary physical existence." Just how "Temporary" that may be, none of us know.

    Do not confuse how you "should" feel with the way you DO feel! Stay true to your Heart! It will seldom lead you wrong.

    And, of course ... seriously ... no matter what ...

    Keep smilin'!!
    Chaz
    WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me

  20. #20
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Sorry to read that. My condolences to you.

  21. #21
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    That WAS sudden.
    Robert Heinlein said "When the ship lifts - no regrets."

  22. #22
    JP.
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Wow. You're a horr....^^ Nvm

    Rest in Peace ur brother.

  23. #23
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Neil, my condolences to you.
    Even though you were not particularly close with your brother, it is a loss to you nevertheless....
    He is now at peace, and so are you...


    The Three Musketeers... Bashful, Chrisglass, and Ronboy!

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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Sorry for loss!

  25. #25
    Keeland
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    I've been in your situation, though not in regards to a brother. I felt conflicted in how I felt vs. how I was "supposed" to feel. My sense of loss was real enough, but it faded rather quickly.

  26. #26
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Neil, sincere condolences to you.

    My life has afforded me many times to think on death, which is actually to think on life.

    Rather than think on the relationship that never was, maybe it is a good time to just take in life, the chlorophyll and all of it.

    May you enjoy a new peace.

  27. #27
    radical faerie ixthrock's Avatar
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    actually, the quote was "when the ship lifts; all bills are paid - no regrets."

    he also said, "Do not confuse “duty” with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anytbing from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please--this won’t take long.” Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time--and squawk for more! So learn to say No--and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you. (This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don’t do it because it is “expected” of you.)"

  28. #28

    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    My condolences are with you and your family members. That was sudden but I think much preferable to a long drawn out period of suffering for your brother. I read your post the other day, and no, you were not a bad brother. Take care

  29. #29
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Sorry for the loss - my boss at work had the same thing happen to her - he was only like 49 and died of a stroke. It's going to take here some time to assume her full duties I'm sure....
    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

  30. #30
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    My condolences.

  31. #31
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    So sorry to hear this news....my thoughts are with you...
    FPNY
    Annoying JUBBERS since 2003

  32. #32
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    My thoughts are with you.
    "You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person"
    - anonymous quote.

  33. #33
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    I feel for you brother.

    my brother disappeared 25 years ago and I will never know if he is dead or alive.

    at least you have that sense of closure.




  34. #34
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    So sorry to hear of your loss, Neil.

  35. #35
    Coward92
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Just remember the good things.
    Everything will be allright.

  36. #36
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Sorry to hear he departed so soon. At least his suffering is over now.

    Stay strong.


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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    Neil, sincere condolences to you.

    My life has afforded me many times to think on death, which is actually to think on life.

    Rather than think on the relationship that never was, maybe it is a good time to just take in life, the chlorophyll and all of it.

    May you enjoy a new peace.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    This i could not have said it better , sorry mate...............

  38. #38
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Hang in their, friend. This has to be a confusing time for you. My thoughts are with you.

  39. #39
    JUB Addict voyager1994's Avatar
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Condolence. May your brother RIP.

  40. #40
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    A thought has crossed my mind, as I'm sure it must have crossed a lot of your minds as well. With his death occurring only a few days after the diagnosis, the collapse in the bathroom, and the swift cremation with no service, I have a feeling that my brother may have committed suicide.

    I won't ask the family directly, of course, but I suspect he may have gone into the bathroom, popped open a bottle of pills of some sort, and downed them. I think, perhaps, he didn't want to deal with what my mother went through when she died. She was diagnosed with cancer in November, 2003. She died in December. The cancer had taken away the woman she was and was left a mere shell barely recognisable as my mother. I think, perhaps, my brother didn't want to face that.

    Just a thought.

  41. #41
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Quote Originally Posted by gsdx View Post
    A thought has crossed my mind, as I'm sure it must have crossed a lot of your minds as well. With his death occurring only a few days after the diagnosis, the collapse in the bathroom, and the swift cremation with no service, I have a feeling that my brother may have committed suicide.

    I won't ask the family directly, of course, but I suspect he may have gone into the bathroom, popped open a bottle of pills of some sort, and downed them. I think, perhaps, he didn't want to deal with what my mother went through when she died. She was diagnosed with cancer in November, 2003. She died in December. The cancer had taken away the woman she was and was left a mere shell barely recognisable as my mother. I think, perhaps, my brother didn't want to face that.

    Just a thought.
    Smart move on his part to have died a quick almost painless death.
    My mum died a slow death from lung cancer many years ago. She begged doctors and relatives to put her out of misery but no one could help.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  42. #42

    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Sorry for the loss of your brother.

    You could be close to something with the suicide idea. Although, we had a family friend who seemed fine, was diagnosed with lung cancer and was dead in a matter of days. It happened that fast. So it's possible that your brother truly did die of natural causes.

    Well, at least you can move forward and not have to wonder about what you should or should not do anymore. Again, sorry for your loss and the end of your brother's life.

  43. #43
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Wow, that is sudden. Whether natural or, as you have wondered, by his own hand, I am glad for him (and you) that it was quick. Witnessing a slow decline is to me the very definition of helplessness.

    Condolences.

    -d-
    Members: [insert appropriate/relevant wise saying or deep thought here]
    Thank you.


    I hope you get this message.
    Comments welcome.

  44. #44
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    So sorry to hear this. My condolences.

  45. #45
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Sorry to hear.

  46. #46
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Quote Originally Posted by gsdx View Post
    A thought has crossed my mind, as I'm sure it must have crossed a lot of your minds as well. With his death occurring only a few days after the diagnosis, the collapse in the bathroom, and the swift cremation with no service, I have a feeling that my brother may have committed suicide.
    Religious believes aside, I believe it takes courage to do commit suicide.

    If that was his decision, it looks like your brother knew what he was doing.

    I trust this brings you some closure.

  47. #47
    JUB Addict Audio Tech's Avatar
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Wow.... I'm sorry for your loss...

    Whatever your feelings may have been, he was still your brother, and you his. But it sounds like he was spared great suffering in the end by checking out quickly, whatever the cause may have been. I lost a great friend to cancer a few years ago, it was also very quick. I'll miss him forever... but I am glad he didn't have to suffer.

  48. #48
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    Sorry for your loss.

  49. #49
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    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    I would like to thank everyone for your kind thoughts. It was very kind of you. Thanks.

  50. #50

    Re: Wow. I'm shocked. My brother died.

    I have nothing to say ... but I offer you a cyber-hug my friend.

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