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Thread: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

      
   
  1. #1
    JUB Addict erobert's Avatar
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    Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    I'm wondering about something that I've been needing advice with since a couple of weeks ago.

    I'm in my first serious relationship with my BF and while he is employed now, it's only a temporary internship that will end in 2 months. We've talked a little bit about how he needs to step up his job hunt since he hasn't applied to any jobs and is holding out for them offering him a salaried position at the end of the internship.

    I'm being encouraging and we're going to go over his resume together and I'll assist him in writing cover letters but I'm not sure if I should pick out specific job positions which I think he's qualified for. He agrees it's important but hasn't applied to any jobs because he's not sure what to write in the cover letter, has never applied to a salaried job before, is overwhelmed of even where to start and is doubting if he's experienced enough to get an interview for the position he wants....

    The thought of loosing him because he can't find work in NYC or having to move back home across the country is really starting to worry me and I want us to come up with a plan B just in case he isn't offered anything after his internship is over.

    We're not in the most stable financial position since both of us are interning and I think it's important for couples to plan for the future, finances, be proactive etc..

    What do you think? Has anyone done this? How'd it turn out?
    Last edited by erobert; January 27th, 2013 at 06:31 PM.

  2. #2
    JUB Addict Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Quote Originally Posted by erobert View Post
    What do you think? Has anyone done this? How'd it turn out?
    You should help him get a job. I find it very hard to write something useful about myself in a job application letter.

    I never actually found other people a job (even though I helped them) and neither did I get the job that my ex had applied for on my behalf, but try.

  3. #3
    JUB Addict RaKroma's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Yes help him in best way you could. Sometimes it's overwhelming emotionally for people during job hunting but they fear or don't want to admit that they need help. Positive support helps ease the stress.

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    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    I would support him but I would not actively help him seek a job. Personally, I would avoid having a "dependent" significant other but others don't mind that.

  5. #5
    Last Chance Jubber justsimon's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    You should help him if he's willing to accept help. Applying for jobs is overwhelming and often dispiriting.

    I was lucky enough to have an internship that turned into a salaried position, but I had applied for other work just in case.

  6. #6
    JUB Addict RaKroma's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Quote Originally Posted by maxpowr9 View Post
    Personally, I would avoid having a "dependent" significant other but others don't mind that.
    When you'll have employment challenges like millions of people at some point in their life, you will appreciate to have someone that loves you and supports you even if you "go broke." I think it's callous to stop loving a person because he is struggling with personal life in any way.

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    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Quote Originally Posted by RaKroma View Post
    When you'll have employment challenges like millions of people at some point in their life, you will appreciate to have someone that loves you and supports you even if you "go broke." I think it's callous to stop loving a person because he is struggling with personal life in any way.
    What I said came out wrong. I mean, I have seen people mooch off others while they were unemployed and had no active interest in seeking employment. Hell, one of the reasons I broke up with my ex was that his hag was unemployed and he essentially paid for her existence.

    He should make sure that his bf is at least trying to look for a job and not just lazing around doing nothing.

  8. #8
    boom boom chaos maker crimsonpaine's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    In this economy every little bit helps. You can help him with getting his resume right and the perfect cover letter. he can still hold out for the internship to turn into a permanent job, but push him however hard to get him to send out the resume just in case that doesn't happen.
    I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.



  9. #9
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Offer help and suggest positions, and do what you can to polish his resume and such. But, you should let him take the initiative in following up. Don't push and don't nag. This is the best way of finding out if he has the drive to be financially stable on his own. You do not want to be the one who has to constantly be whipping his ass to get and stay employed and not be leaching off you. It's the quickest way to the relationship graveyard I know.

    Unless you fancy having your very own househusband. Then by all means, keep him regardless.

  10. #10
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Help and support him. But he has to show some interests himself. He has got to take some initiatives in looking for his next job.

  11. #11
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    I would definitely be helpful, but I would make sure that he is taking a role in this and that you aren't doing everything for him or initating job searches all the time.

    I would also suggest to him that he go to a career center and see if a job counselor could help him out.

    Good luck!

  12. #12
    Old Fashioned Gay ravenstar's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterM View Post
    Help and support him. But he has to show some interests himself. He has got to take some initiatives in looking for his next job.
    I agree with HunterM, if he shows no interest he won't make any effort to get the job should he get an interview.

  13. #13
    JUB Addict voyager1994's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    I think you should help him.

  14. #14

    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

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  15. #15
    tombastep
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Yes.

    My boyfriend assisted me in looking for work and it worked out a great deal. He had an idea to write a letter to my previous job and we did that. Helped immensely, got calls pretty much immediately.

  16. #16
    Booyah! Callum's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    I definitely would suggest assisting him, or if you're in a similar field and have connections he can use, definitely use your networking abilities. Who you know is significantly more important than what you know in today's job market, I've found...

    Anyway, if your boyfriend is settled on this job potentially offering him a salaried position, perhaps you should tell him it wouldn't hurt to seek employment elsewhere while he's waiting. Contract/temporary to salaried is always a risky gamble...and I wouldn't want to live in New York City without a job (and a boyfriend who's also an intern), that's for sure.
    blacksyringe

  17. #17
    JUB Addict goldenmoth's Avatar
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    Definitely! I got my job because mum happened to mention my predicament to the right person. It changed my life and I have the best job ever!

  18. #18
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Should I Help My BF Job Hunt?

    His idea of waiting for the salaried position isn't bad, but waiting doesn't mean standing still.

    Get him to get other offers. That's a great strategic move in any case. He'll be able to compare plus know his relative worth.

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