I was orally and anally violated on Thursday

[Jordan_White]

They may call it an endoscopy/colonoscopy, but I call it oral/anal violation. And I have to pay a deductible? That's an outrage! They should pay me!

They drugged me then they fucked me, and then they gave me pictures of the whole thing so I can re-live the event!

The best part was the recovery room nurse. He was tall, dark, hot and had a tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of his scrubs. I think he liked me, because he went and got me cranberry juice and graham crackers, and even unwrapped them for me!

The discharge papers said I should get this done every ten years, but I'm ready to go back next week if I can have the same recovery room nurse!

[rareboy]

I never get a hot guy. I also just slept through mine although I wanted to watch the journey up through my asshole and colon.

If you were Canadian....you could have had the twofer and not paid for the privilege.

My partner had his bi-annual colonoscopy this past week. He has had some tissue removed for pathology, fingers crossed.

[Jordan_White]

I regained some consciousness towards the end, because I could hear voices behind me and I could see a monitor in front of me showing what they were seeing on the camera. "Hmmm, that's not right," one voice said. I couldn't feel anything, thankfully, and I don't remember anything else until the hot nurse woke me up in recovery.

They saw several oddities inside and took several biopsies, so fingers crossed for both of us.

[MikeyLove]

I had it up my ass without being medicated in preparation...just felt like a dick being pushed up there non-stop, and only some pressure pain at each turn. I must be good for a good fuck!

[sixthson]

I didn't think the colonoscopy was bad, but the prep was unpleasant. The drink they used to give was called "Go Lightly". What a lie!

[cynicus]

I've had one colonoscopy, and I was out like a light from beginning to end. The MD, I might add, was a real hunk! But I woke up in recovery and did not remember a thing. The night before with a gallon of that nasty stuff that makes you shit like a Christmas goose was horrible. Thank God, they only suggest it once every five years. I was in good shape, so no more checkups for while. But why any MD would elect that particular speciality is beyond me! Sticking a tube down my throat, now that might create a problem or two!

[star-warrior]

Come on..., you enjoyed it really

[pat grimshaw]

...But why any MD would elect that particular speciality is beyond me! ...!

Yes I occasionally think that about dentistry. They tell me they're paid well.

[Hard-up1]

Laughing my ass off!

Great thread.

[alister]

I have to get another colonoscopy this year. I had a polyp the first time so it's every two years for me. I was awake through the first one and watched it on the screen, I didn't feel a thing. The crap you have to drink the night before is just awful

[frankfrank]

At least the GoLightly stuff does not have some kind of horrible taste to it. The preparation is unpleasant, but I've certainly had to do things more unpleasant than that before.

[Jordan_White]

The prep swill tasted like lemon-lime Gatorade, but with chlorine!
Why can't they make it taste like a cosmopolitan?

[Jordan_White]

The doctor's office just called and left a cryptic message. I wonder if it has anything to do with this:
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...Eggs-Up-My-Ass

[dereperez]

The doctor's office just called and left a cryptic message. I wonder if it has anything to do with this:
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...Eggs-Up-My-Ass

Looks creamy.

[Jordan_White]

I'm just reading through the report. It said that my cecum is inverted.

Can I get on a reality TV show for that?

[JP.]

They may call it an endoscopy/colonoscopy, but I call it oral/anal violation. And I have to pay a deductible? That's an outrage! They should pay me!

They drugged me then they fucked me, and then they gave me pictures of the whole thing so I can re-live the event!

The best part was the recovery room nurse. He was tall, dark, hot and had a tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of his scrubs. I think he liked me, because he went and got me cranberry juice and graham crackers, and even unwrapped them for me!

The discharge papers said I should get this done every ten years, but I'm ready to go back next week if I can have the same recovery room nurse!

Hmm..wait

[Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom]

Is this like a male version of a papsmere(spelling?)

[Jordan_White]

Is this like a male version of a papsmere(spelling?)

I must kill Pahpshmir... (firing empty gun)

[Kien]

I can't survive in this thread

[JayHawk]

LOL Kien...

I was completely knocked out and only had to take a green bottle of laxative and then an enema or two prior to them rotor rooting my asshole. I only had a sigmoidoscopy. They found me healthy as a horse with only two very small internal hemmrhoids... (why I share so much here I have no FUCKING clue)

Anyways I did the In-fared procedure for essentially internally burning a quadrant at a time to not suffer from the 'rhoid rage again and I am now right as rain.

I will return for the full monty after fifty.... screw that stuff... although I wouldnt wanna die like Michael Jackson ... after being put to sleep immediately and then woken up refreshed and happy... well I can understand WHY the rich pay doctors to drugs them up and down.

[Lefty]

Unless your insurance is killer,

you might just want to practice

with friends and non family.

[freefall]

There's so much ambivalency in the OP

At least you're not violated using a wire hanger

But again I assume you would comply to anything that hot male nurse you described in great detail do to you

[Telstra]

I never have any colonoscopy done before.


Did you douche first to make sure everything is clean ?

[JayHawk]

I was actually relieved to have it done. I have had two family members who passed of colon cancer. So to me it was necessary evil.

[Jordan_White]

I never have any colonoscopy done before.


Did you douche first to make sure everything is clean ?

Yes, with a pickaxe and a firehose!

[Telstra]

Yes, with a pickaxe and a firehose!

So, the doctors have no complain with smells ?

[askerby1]

presenting an opinion from the other side- (not as funny as it sounds) The recovery room is full of people of all ages- seperated by flimsy curtains- in different degrees of conciousness- FARTING like they have an air compressor attatched to them. Not pleasant for anyone- but it needs to be done for a lot of people. Colon cancer is a bad way to go. Get checked- there are more embarassing things we go through. Better SAFE!

[eastofeden]

Ahh..the dreaded colonoscopy. I heard so many horror stores about it over the years so when I was 50 and my doctor told me I needed to get my colon checked out because "it was about that time"...I started to get nervous until he said I was going to get a Barrium Enema versus a Colonoscopy and I thought I won the lottery...

So I drank the crap the day before and I got to the hospital and the nice nurse who looked like Mary Louise Parker told me to strip and put on the robe with no back and she also informed me that there would be at least two interns there to observe and maybe help that day...seems OK I thought....

Then she told me to bend over because It was gonna hurt (didn't feel a thing) and this plastic dildo she stuck up my ass all of a sudden formed a suction cup and got stuck on my ass...and then they strapped me to a moving bed and started blowing me up like the Pillsbury Dough Boy using the dildo to fill me up with air....

...and 75 minutes later...long after the robe flipped over my head and I was upside down naked strapped down with a plastic dildo up my ass in front of all those people and I was two times my body size completely humiliated and I could barely breathe...

...when it was over...she let the air out of my dildo and removed it and then I crapped white stuff all over the floor to make the afternoon a completely humiliating experience.....

So last July i got my first colonoscopy and I was THRILLED...I even asked my doctor to make a note on my charts to never give me another barrium enema. Except for the nasty stuff I drank the entire procedure was extremely pleasant. I was in a beautiful office in dowtown Palo Alto...a nice looking doctor and funny nurse...zero pain...I watched the whole thing on TV and they gave me the gross pictures as a souvenir...they took six pollyps out and I had to eat ice cream and Mac n Cheese for three days until the little clothespins they used to stop the bleeding came out. The polys were fine...I hope everyone who is waiting for results get good news. The thing I was thinking when I went in.... whatever the results at least I went so if there was something they could begin treatment..that is the good thing about getting these checkups.

[Jordan_White]

So, the doctors have no complain with smells ?

I was unconscious, and it wasn't mentioned in the discharge notes, so I guess it's a matter of "don't ask, don't smell."

[Jordan_White]

But again I assume you would comply to anything that hot male nurse you described in great detail do to you

Hell yes! But then I heard him offer to get cranberry juice and graham crackers for the coughing woman in the room next to me, and I suddenly felt cheap and tawdry.

I thought I was special!

[secondmonkey]

I had to have a colonoscopy/upper endoscopy a few years ago when I was 23...when I got the letter with the results from the doctor it said "recommend next colonoscopy at age 50". I'm hoping they come up with something a little less invasive in the next 25 years...

All I can remember is I kept waking up when they were shoving the camera down my throat...and a bunch of people would start yelling "breathe...breathe....breathe!" and then I would pass out again.

[Scealle]

Reading this reminded me that time when my housemate was having a really bad period and non stop bled for a week and was hospitalized. She also said she felt so violated when the docs feeled and checked her there and stitched up some stuffs.

Hell yes! But then I heard him offer to get cranberry juice and graham crackers for the coughing woman in the room next to me, and I suddenly felt cheap and tawdry.

I thought I was special!

Lol.

[joshj50]

I have had a colonoscopy even though I am no where near 50, I was having some other problems, the are in question is probably not at all offensive to the MD performing the procedure due to the immense cleaning one must do the night before, it essentially is a very strong laxative. I was instructed to drink as much water as I could with the lemon/lime solution. That way the colon is able to draw in an immense amount of water thus bathing your colon from inside out, of course what comes into the colon must leave so I was instructed to have no fluids for 4 hours before my procedure. I was so dehydrated my vein for the IV line kept rolling, that was the only pain I had, eventually they had to use a vein in my hand to introduce the anesthesia.

They made it all the way to the junction of the small and large intestine, he even said he was able to poke a little into the small intestine, they took 7 biopsies and one funny looking "cherry colored ball", all came back unremarkable from the pathologists lab, next one at 50.

Truthfully the worst of it all is the few days before, low fiber diet for 3 days, full fast day before and 12 hours or so before the laxative. Many people suggest setting up a lap top in their bathrooms as that is where you spend most of the night before, although its not odorous after an hour or so, all you are really doing is expelling the water you are ingesting. My MD said my prep was excellent, they warn you though that if your prep is not satisfactory they will pull out, send you home and reschedule you.

[rareboy]

I wanted to stay awake for mine, but drifted off into a nap.

I may have been heard to say..."Oh yeah...Harder....Yeah babe....deeper..you know what I like....aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh"

I had one last year when I had an upper GI bleed that made my shit black as ink.

[Lefty]

Well,

I guess I know what I AM NOT going to get

for my 62nd birthday..or 63rd or 4th or...

[Jordan_White]

Wow, after reading some of the other experiences here, I think I got off easy. It was my first endo/colonoscopy, but it went very smoothly.

I've suspected that I have either celiac or a gluten intolerance, so I've been gluten-free since Thanksgiving. But my GI doctor told me to start eating gluten again before the procedure, as they wanted to see me at my worst.

Now I just have to wait for the pathology results. They want to rule out celiac, Crohn's, infiltrative disease, H. pylori and eosinophilic esophagitis. If they don't find anything, then they want to do a CT scan of my esophagus. They want to know why I've lost 18 pounds in three months without trying (as do I).