"It's just the internet"

[dereperez]

This thread is cool. I'm new here to JUB and don't have all of the experiences most of the posters here do, but it is comforting to see how many people realize effects places like JUB have on people. I would easily say that I would not be able to find this large a group of guys who share an affinity for other guys anywhere local to me. Most of what I feel has already been said, so I'll just bullet point my thoughts.

- The internet is the modern day coffee shop, club, park, gym, etc. It is a locale of sorts for people to meet, get to know each other, share experiences, and whatnot. Meeting and interacting with people on the internet is no different than doing so face-to-face. Anyone who discounts interactions on the internet as anything other than real person-to-person interactions obviously has issues of their own they need to work through.

- Interactions on the internet can be extremely positive. You are able to interact with people in geographic locations who you wouldn't otherwise be able to. People who are shy or withdrawn can use the internet to overcome the shyness by being able to "hide" behind a screen and keyboard where they may feel more comfortable. People are able to open up more and express deeper feelings in many cases when they can type it on a screen instead of tell it to a face. Those who are in trouble and wish to seek help without associating a face or identity to the person asking for the help can do so online.

- With the positive aspects of online interactions comes negative possibilities as well. Lies and deceits are able to be easily orchestrated and hard to dispel. People can be meaner without having to look into the face and see the emotion of the person they're targeting. Online interactions can be used in offline situations to cause physical or emotional harm to people.

I totally agree with the idea of online interactions being equal to face-to-face interactions. Were it not for places like JUB and other online venues I can visit in the evening, I probably wouldn't have much social interaction at all given my 7 day a week work schedule.

Well stated and belated welcome to JUB.

[TheSpectatingLoner]

There was a well-loved JUBber here who confessed to fabricating some of his story. I think because his apology was seen as heartfelt and genuine, everyone seemed to forgive him, even if they were shocked. I think because of how he handled his confession, he actually helped the image of the internet. I wish he were still here.

To me, all he would do is help me trust even less of what I see around here. I don't understand how confessing to deception makes this a more trustworthy atmosphere.

[rareboy]

Oh God....if ever a thread deserved to die, it was this one.

I agree with you though. We've also had one now gone JUBBER on here who admitted that part of his story was made up and told the 'truth'.

Which was also a lie.

Could be the same one that SS misses so much.

[G-Lexington]

Oh God....if ever a thread deserved to die, it was this one.

I agree with you though. We've also had one now gone JUBBER on here who admitted that part of his story was made up and told the 'truth'.

Which was also a lie.

Could be the same one that SS misses so much.

The fake personas are always the most beloved. More interest, more drama, more fun, n'et-pas?

Lex

[refujiunderground]

Oh God....if ever a thread deserved to die, it was this one.

I agree with you though. We've also had one now gone JUBBER on here who admitted that part of his story was made up and told the 'truth'.
Which was also a lie.

Could be the same one that SS misses so much.

who are you talking about?

[looseliam]

The fake personas are always the most beloved. More interest, more drama, more fun, n'et-pas?

Lex

oui!





.

[BustinJeiber]

In regards to the thread title.

Yes, it really is 'just the internet' as much as anyone would like to claim it being more than that. The internet is like a mirror, you see it as what you are, not for what it really is. It really is a portal into the collective consciousness of humanity.

[BustinJeiber]

Oh, and never take the internet seriously. That's just silly and for people who don't have fully developed intellects.

[Rolyo85]

I'll tell that to my giant circle of super close friends that I originally met on a forum over a decade ago

[BustinJeiber]

Well, if you have been taking the internet seriously for that long, you earned it. You won the Internet, mister.

[Rolyo85]

I did indeed ^_^

[xbuzzerx]

In regards to the thread title.

Yes, it really is 'just the internet' as much as anyone would like to claim it being more than that. The internet is like a mirror, you see it as what you are, not for what it really is. It really is a portal into the collective consciousness of humanity.

Oh, and never take the internet seriously. That's just silly and for people who don't have fully developed intellects.

You explained your own position. You said the internet is a mirror, and you don't view it as serious so, to you, it's not serious. And possibly some of your perception and your actions and words on the net reflect that view.

But by your same argument if people do take it seriously, then it can be a serious place.

I can't even hope to discuss 1/10th of the topics I regularly discuss online because in general I'm only around people who watch the latest popular shows and see the latest popular movies and talk about whose pizza is better. In my view it's most people in real life you can't take very seriously. It's easier to find a concentration of people who share your interests online than it is offline imo. Most people offline, you're lucky if they get as serious as the Daily Show, and which celeb is getting divorced.

[Rolyo85]

^^^ Dat point.

[BustinJeiber]

You explained your own position. You said the internet is a mirror, and you don't view it as serious so, to you, it's not serious. And possibly some of your perception and your actions and words on the net reflect that view.

But by your same argument if people do take it seriously, then it can be a serious place.

I can't even hope to discuss 1/10th of the topics I regularly discuss online because in general I'm only around people who watch the latest popular shows and see the latest popular movies and talk about whose pizza is better. In my view it's most people in real life you can't take very seriously. It's easier to find a concentration of people who share your interests online than it is offline imo. Most people offline, you're lucky if they get as serious as the Daily Show, and which celeb is getting divorced.

Well, I have to agree. Everyone gets what they want out of the net. I get enough of stern, intelligent un-funny people in my daily and work life. I like the internet to be a non-sensical world of cats, and things that don't need to be refined. I like ambiguity, mystery, and interesting pictures. It's an escape from my world of office buildings, polite society, and data entry.

[Rolyo85]

Are "intelligent" and "un-funny" the same to you?

[BustinJeiber]

Not always, but where I work, yes. I know there are intelligent funny people, I just don't happen to work with any of them. So, I take it where I can get it, as the old saying goes.

[rareboy]

^ That's fine.

But think of it as a dinner party at the end of a long and grueling day or week of work.

Which should be a lot of fun and enjoyable and relaxing for everyone. You can talk and joke or even have some good and thoughtful discussions and have a great time in one another's company.

Unless one or two of the guests show up totally wasted....or in a pissy argumentative mood, determined to get everyone at the table fighting among one another or taking complete control of the conversation to talk about some completely made up drama in their own lives. While that person may be having the time of their life....there is likely a whole table of guests who just call it a night and leave early.

Balance is everything.

So far, for instance, we've all been amused by the threads started by you....focussing on ass rape by your bff, being a whore, wanting to be a whore, scat play, etc. In a Walter Mitty world, these topics, however old these might be on JUB, are delightful grist for the mill...an antidote to the dull reality of corporate or student life or unemployment.

And we all love cats and mystery and ambiguity and great pics. It is fun to glide over the world and just to enjoy things in the moment without attaching any significance or importance to them.

But a lot of us are also happy doing it as 'real' people who can also discuss social issues, politics, economics, design, sports, cars, religious issues, the arts,...well you get the idea, I hope. We enjoy the interchange with other 'real' people, characters that we get to know in a more three dimensional sense, individuals that we connect with on a deeper level. This is what is satisfying about this ability to communicate instantly with others all around the world from every walk of life. For some, it becomes literally their only way of keeping in contact with other people who share at least one thing in common.

And that is why even though it is just the internet, the experience has taken on the same intellectual and emotional and social weight as the corner bar or the social club or even distant extended family. It links us together in ways that 50 years ago, would have been unimaginable. So to the original question once more...when this trust is abused by sociopaths or frauds ....people react very strongly.

[Charmine]

The fake personas are always the most beloved. More interest, more drama, more fun, n'et-pas?

Lex

Is that pigeon French?

[bankside]

Attached is a picture of the Sudbury Neutrino Observatory. The sphere is a detector, 2 km underground, in the largest man-made underground cavity in the world, in a clean room down a 1.5 kilometre tunnel from the nearest mining operations. If you're very lucky, the rock will serve as shielding to filter out the cosmic background noise, and a neutrino passing through space will slip effortlessly through that rock to the heavy water in its core and, vanishingly rarely, actually interact with the heavy water and produce a tiny photon of light to be recorded by the photodetectors embedded in the sphere.

It took them 20 years to publish their first results.

When I came out, e-mail was high tech. NCSA Mosaic was not in existence. But they had this text-based menu thing called "Gopher" that would let you navigate through menus of other people's files on far away servers in computer labs.

And with some diligence and a dialup modem, you might find a picture of a naked guy in a folder marked "gay," which was kind of like finding a neutrino: it proved that others existed.

Personally, I find constant social interaction to be exhausting. I can go to dinner and a movie with friends, but if they decide to go out drinking afterwards, it's very rare that I will join them. Partly because I find it difficult to enjoy myself in those situations, but also because I'm usually tired by that point, and would rather come home and browse JUB or read a book.

My friends are kind enough to let me go out with them and just "browse" the pub. It's nice to be able to sit back with a beer and listen to conversation and people-watch with no expectations of having to entertain others.

[Rolyo85]

Wow, bankside... I feel old for totally recognizing the dialup modem and the gay folder situation...

[xbuzzerx]

Wow, bankside... I feel old for totally recognizing the dialup modem and the gay folder situation...

That sound effect the modem made while dialing will be burned into my memory forever.

[Keeland]

Point here - at one point, many of the JUBbers here will look back fondly at January 2013 as a great time to be on JUB.

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

[Lefty]

Very Nice summation Buzzy.

Fairly succinct and not even

the least bit blatantly rude.

[Native Son]

Wow. This is the sort of post that just turns me off to this website. And it's not like it's an isolated idea--ooh.

JHC.

[Rolyo85]

Which one?

[Native Son]

Which one?

The OG post. What else? I'm not having it.

[JohannBessler]

But they had this text-based menu thing called "Gopher" that would let you navigate through menus of other people's files on far away servers in computer labs.

.

haha remember "Archie" and "Veronica"? Funny thing, that. I remember their colorful names, but I don't remember exactly what Archie and Veronica did. I think they were primitive search engines.

[cgymike]

haha remember "Archie" and "Veronica"? Funny thing, that. I remember their colorful names, but I don't remember exactly what Archie and Veronica did. I think they were primitive search engines.

Yeah and there were names like "Banyan on Vines"...people talked a lot about "servers" but they were servers in real life too....and there was a huge cardboard slide rule on the wall and an over-important lab monitor who did nothing at all. Also there were "turbo" buttons on the computer towers which made the number go from 16 to 33 but it didn't make any difference . WP was still a nightmare...

Even irc was not assured after 6667 was blocked....

[Rolyo85]

The OG post. What else? I'm not having it.

Ah got ya. Well, if playing the victim makes you hard... Personally, I call bullshit on all of those "this is the type of post that makes me not want to post in X" primadona postures. It's attention seeking, and people aren't really obliged to make you feel good. I mean, if you're so sensitive, you aren't safe ANYWHERE on the internet really

[Native Son]

Ah got ya. Well, if playing the victim makes you hard... Personally, I call bullshit on all of those "this is the type of post that makes me not want to post in X" primadona postures. It's attention seeking, and people aren't really obliged to make you feel good. I mean, if you're so sensitive, you aren't safe ANYWHERE on the internet really

No, no, no. How am I victim? I just don't agree that this is the place to come for someone in need. (Let alone a gay someone in need.)

I wouldn't inflict here on my worst enemy, is what I'm trying to say.

[Rolyo85]

And while we all feel your pain, it begs the question of why are you here then, when it's so horrifying?

And by the way, many people in need have found great help and advice on JUB. Obviously not in HT, but HT isn't the place for that anyway.

[Native Son]

Obviously not in HT

I rest my case.

So why is it so horrifying for me to say it?

but HT isn't the place for that anyway.

By my reckoning, it absolutely is.

Are you aware of Kristof?

[JohannBessler]

^Native Son, I have listened to this conversation with great interest, but I don't understand which post upset you, and why...

(BTW, you really are mistaken about people being helped. Honestly.)

[Rolyo85]

I rest my case.

So why is it so horrifying for me to say it?



By my reckoning, it absolutely is.

Are you aware of Kristof?

Your reckoning is mistaken, and no I am not aware of him. I am aware of the description of the HT forum though, which is

"What's on your mind? This is the place for general discussion. - Mostly Safe for Work"


Nothing in here about helping people, or being supportive to people in need. Often what's on people's minds could be (and is) offensive, insensitive and callous. There IS, however, a forum about that on JUB. It's called "Coming Out, Relationships & Bisex Talk", and it description reads:

"Share your story. Get advice. No flame zone!"

Now, to which of those would I come if I needed help? Hmmmmmmm...

[pat grimshaw]

Wow. This is the sort of post that just turns me off to this website. ....

Dear Native Son, stay away from 'Current Events and Politics' for your own safety. That place is full of pathological bitches.

[Rolyo85]

Dear Native Son, stay away from 'Current Events and Politics' for your own safety. That place is full of pathological bitches.

As usual, Pat is being the big man slinging mud behind people's backs You are so brave, so noble, such a shining example of dignity and moral fiber ^_^

[xbuzzerx]

Dear Native Son, stay away from 'Current Events and Politics' for your own safety. That place is full of pathological bitches.

Bearing in mind that Pat telling someone not to go somewhere is practically a recommendation TO go there.

[sixthson]

Dear Native Son, stay away from 'Current Events and Politics' for your own safety. That place is full of pathological bitches.

But this is hot topics and as far as I can tell, the only one having a problem is native son. He apparently has a problem with my original post and is now calling others names. I'm not sure what the problem is, however.

[Native Son]

Rolyo85Facts.

Facts? Which ones? Please.

Perspective.

It is just the internet.

I could be wrong, but OP comes off as a little misguided.

[Native Son]

Bearing in mind that Pat telling someone not to go somewhere is practically a recommendation TO go there.

I know what you're saying, but Pits Grim does make a point...

(Same point a thousand others have made before him, nothing new; but who's splitting hairs?)

[Native Son]

He apparently has a problem with my original post

That's right. ProblemS. Plural!

How you doin'?

[franklinP]

This forum has, literally, saved my life at least twice now.

For it to be debased as "just a gay porn forum" infuriates me.

I have learned seeing different post from this forum. Made me understand deeply about things I never realized I could learn from him. Good thing I joined this forum. It is more of a therapeutic experience for me.

[Rolyo85]

I know what you're saying, but Pits Grim does make a point...

(Same point a thousand others have made before him, nothing new; but who's splitting hairs?)

He's not "making a point", he's having a bitchy fit behind people's backs. Which is typical for him.

[TheSpectatingLoner]

I'll tell that to my giant circle of super close friends that I originally met on a forum over a decade ago

question: have you met them offline?

[xbuzzerx]

question: have you met them offline?

I have met forum friends offline, and if there was a JUB meet near enough to go to, I would go. But the thing that always gets me about this question, as it seems to imply face-to-face is more valid or real friendship, is people never ask "how often do you see your real life friends." I haven't seen some of my college friends since college, and I have seen most of my h.s. friends perhaps 1-3 times since h.s., but few people would imply they aren't real friends.

[RazorzEdge88]

No, no, no. How am I victim? I just don't agree that this is the place to come for someone in need. (Let alone a gay someone in need.)

I wouldn't inflict here on my worst enemy, is what I'm trying to say.

Holy shit - how many of your posts in the past year have been just straight-up whinefests about how much you hate the people here? Even I don't bitch that much.

I wonder if you just have masochistic tendencies that have reached some critical level, but I feel like there are probably prescription drugs that can counteract that and perhaps you should be on them.

[Rolyo85]

question: have you met them offline?

I assumed the word "originally" was clue enough that I have. We've been friends in real world for over a decade, and I still meet people from forums in real life.

[Rolyo85]

I have met forum friends offline, and if there was a JUB meet near enough to go to, I would go. But the thing that always gets me about this question, as it seems to imply face-to-face is more valid or real friendship, is people never ask "how often do you see your real life friends." I haven't seen some of my college friends since college, and I have seen most of my h.s. friends perhaps 1-3 times since h.s., but few people would imply they aren't real friends.

Even though to me those are total strangers while I could have ten times more shared experiences with people I met on a forum, and old-schoolers would still not consider them "real".

The weird thing is, real world venues for meeting people are always forcing you to interact with certain individual. College limits you to whoever is studying there with you. School is the same, and the work place too. Or a bar. While the net is vast and limitless. On a forum that's geared to my interests, I am a thousand times more likely to meet like-minded individuals that I could have a lot more to share with. What's even more important - I have a thousand times better chance to REALIZE we have stuff in common - through reading their thoughts and opinions if they have any - than I would be in any real world venue.

Why the hell is that "less" real than total randomers I happen to work with, but otherwise have nothing in common?

[TheSpectatingLoner]

I assumed the word "originally" was clue enough that I have. We've been friends in real world for over a decade, and I still meet people from forums in real life.

Exactly my point. They become legitimized when they're not on "just the internet."

I have quite a few friendships like that, myself.

[Rolyo85]

Exactly my point. They become legitimized when they're not on "just the internet."

I have quite a few friendships like that, myself.

That's not true. They're legitimate before that too. I have never met buzzer and given the distance between Chicago and LA, who knows if I soon will. But I consider him a "legitimate" friend.

It's about an attitude that assumes the Internet people aren't "real" and therefore neither is the interaction with them. If one has that attitude, it's highly unlikely he'll get to the point of meeting in real life.