The Official Unofficial Provisional Impromptu 2013 Confessions thread

[maxpowr9]

there should be a service where you pay someone to go out on a date with you and afterwards, they'll tell you everything you did wrong

I get first dates ok enough, but since breaking up with my ex last spring, I couldn't tell you the last time I had a second date with a guy who was looking for anything more than friendship... I seem to get good marks on personality (funny, good conversationalist, etc), so I'm left to assume that I'm horribly ugly.

I'm kind of over the whole dating scene. I don't care to do the dance or play the silly romance games anymore. Hell, at this point, I would marry my roomie just for the tax break. I think after being stuck as manager with a crazy woman tending bar the past few weekends in the morning/afternoon, she can't shut the fuck up about her children and it makes me want to be single. I could rant further on her but no need. However, I will take solace in the fact that she thinks it's sexy that I haven't shaven in five days.

[G-Lexington]

there should be a service where you pay someone to go out on a date with you and afterwards, they'll tell you everything you did wrong.

I actually have offered to do this for a chronic one-dater. For free, since he's kind of an online friend. We never have done it since we don't live near each other, but I wouldn't mind doing it if he thought he could handle the critique.

Lex

[maxpowr9]

I actually have offered to do this for a chronic one-dater. For free, since he's kind of an online friend. We never have done it since we don't live near each other, but I wouldn't mind doing it if he thought he could handle the critique.

Lex

I think the main reason people fail on the first date is that they give away way too much personal details.

[G-Lexington]

I think the main reason people fail on the first date is that they give away way too much personal details.

I think that might be problematic on a first date, but certainly not a deal-breaker. I think some people get a bit obsessive about faults, and can start harping on them from the outset. There's nothing wrong with being at peace with them, or even making mention of them, but they shouldn't be the focus of the conversation. "Here are all the reasons somebody might not like me."

I just think first dates should be about finding your common ground. Finding topics you can chat about comfortably. And unless somebody has the same issues you have, and feels the same about them, it's tough to truly bond there. Yeah, I can empathize about feeling ugly or whatever, but I don't know if "here's someone I can talk to about feeling that other people think I'm unattractive" is really somebody I'd latch onto.

Lex

[RazorzEdge88]

Wow, this whole page is fucking uplifting...

[G-Lexington]

I don't know if it's horribly depressing. One might say it has some possible hints as to avoid the forever-alone fate. (Whether or not they're sufficient remains to be seen.)

Anyone want to get naked with the gargoyle?

Lex

[martin6]

Anyone want to get naked with the gargoyle?

Lex

I'll be naked whenever, wherever. Is that a confession? An invitation? You decide.

[glasvegas]

there should be a service where you pay someone to go out on a date with you and afterwards, they'll tell you everything you did wrong

I get first dates ok enough, but since breaking up with my ex last spring, I couldn't tell you the last time I had a second date with a guy who was looking for anything more than friendship... I seem to get good marks on personality (funny, good conversationalist, etc), so I'm left to assume that I'm horribly ugly.

You look gorgeous to me.

[rareboy]

The biggest reason that guys don't get the second date?

Oddly enough...usually something said about politics or religion. Or not liking the same television shows. Or music.

So many times, the air just comes out of a date the moment that one party or the other realizes that they are not on the same life-page.

If you find yourself having to shift to neutral language or not expressing an honest opinion....usually doesn't matter how good the sex is....the second date isn't likely on the calendar.

C'est la vie.

[borg69unimatrix]

I'll be naked whenever, wherever. Is that a confession? An invitation? You decide.

Prove it... I'm waiting.

[Sausy]

Assimilation... it's not quite what it's cracked up to be!

[xbuzzerx]

The biggest reason that guys don't get the second date?

Oddly enough...usually something said about politics or religion. Or not liking the same television shows. Or music.

So many times, the air just comes out of a date the moment that one party or the other realizes that they are not on the same life-page.

If you find yourself having to shift to neutral language or not expressing an honest opinion....usually doesn't matter how good the sex is....the second date isn't likely on the calendar.

C'est la vie.

Rareboy I'm doing a dance at my monitor because I think you are probably the first person anywhere on the entirety of the intarwebz to give the primary reason I don't pursue a 2nd date with someone, provided I'm the one to break off interest.

[loki81]

I don't know if "here's someone I can talk to about feeling that other people think I'm unattractive" is really somebody I'd latch onto.

Lex

I'd like to think that I hide my crazy pretty well IRL :P

speaking of crazy... I get irrationally annoyed when things aren't organized the way I'd organize them.

I had to search all over my parents house looking for a nail clipper this morning, only to find it on my dad's dresser. why are you clipping your nails in the bedroom? that's gross. over the sink in the bathroom is the most logical place to clip your nails imo (and as such, nail clippers should logically be kept in the medicine cabinet or whatever bathroom storage one utilizes)

[maxpowr9]

I'd like to think that I hide my crazy pretty well IRL :P

speaking of crazy... I get irrationally annoyed when things aren't organized the way I'd organize them.

I had to search all over my parents house looking for a nail clipper this morning, only to find it on my dad's dresser. why are you clipping your nails in the bedroom? that's gross. over the sink in the bathroom is the most logical place to clip your nails imo (and as such, nail clippers should logically be kept in the medicine cabinet or whatever bathroom storage one utilizes)

I have nail clippers in my car. Have at me!

As for the whole dating thing, I think the big problem with me is that I tend to over-analyze everything and it makes the other person very uncomfortable. I can disassemble a person in about 10 minutes unless they're lying [especially if it is about minute stuff] and at that point, I should just walking away from the date but suffer through the rest of it out of mere pleasantries.

Maybe when I get home later this afternoon, I'll post a pic. Haven't shaven in a week.

[The Fly]

I guess I approach dating a bit differently than many others. If I go on a date I want to learn about you, your veiws, your oppinions, your dreams,...it's what makes you, you. If I'm on a date with you, sex is not the main objective, getting to know you is. If sex follows...great, but it's not the goal.
If I just want sex from you, I'll bend you over the pool table, bang away, then leave. No sence wasting an evening and $100 on drinks.

[borg69unimatrix]

I'd like to think that I hide my crazy pretty well IRL :P

speaking of crazy... I get irrationally annoyed when things aren't organized the way I'd organize them.

I had to search all over my parents house looking for a nail clipper this morning, only to find it on my dad's dresser. why are you clipping your nails in the bedroom? that's gross. over the sink in the bathroom is the most logical place to clip your nails imo (and as such, nail clippers should logically be kept in the medicine cabinet or whatever bathroom storage one utilizes)

I'm anal enough that I keep a pair in my pants pocket - ALWAYS. I hate hang nails, too thick cuticles, or when a nail rips and is uneven.

[MysteryLovesCompany]

Anyone want to get naked with the gargoyle?

Lex

I'm in, except I live on the other side of the planet...

[G-Lexington]

I'm in, except I live on the other side of the planet...

I don't mind getting naked with somebody far off. We can get naked together in spirit.

Lex

[borg69unimatrix]

The biggest reason that guys don't get the second date?

Oddly enough...usually something said about politics or religion. Or not liking the same television shows. Or music.

So many times, the air just comes out of a date the moment that one party or the other realizes that they are not on the same life-page.

If you find yourself having to shift to neutral language or not expressing an honest opinion....usually doesn't matter how good the sex is....the second date isn't likely on the calendar.

C'est la vie.

Some pet peeves of mine on dates:

Talking excessively about your ex(s) [and/or past sexual conquests and fetishes].

While I'm there to get to know you, I don't want to hear ALL your negative baggage/insecurities on the first few dates.

When on a date with you, I want to feel *special*, and like you're there because you like ME as well... I don't want to feel like I'm just filling a void in your life and I'm only there because I have a pulse. Ask ME questions too.

It's the FIRST DATE... don't be talking about 'forever', and be picking out China Patterns and Curtains just yet.

Be flexible/open. If finding stuff to do together or somewhere to eat is nearly impossible because you don't like it, we're probably not going to get along.

TURN THE DAMN CELL PHONE OFF. If you have to update Twitter/Facebook to tell all your friends and family how the date is going, it's NOT going well.

If you pick the place we eat, pick something moderate. Don't try to overly impress me with how much you can spend, or dazzle me with the rich and famous people you know.

Flirt a little, and show some enthusiasm. If you're a cold fish, I'm not going to think you're interested.

Don't be my mother and correct my pronunciation, grammar, spelling, world views, eating habits (wrong fork!), ...

A couple of drinks are ok... but don't get sloppy drunk.

If you invite me out, Have a Plan what we're going to do, and show up ON TIME. Don't cancel, or reschedule unless you're in the hospital.

After the date, Call, text, e-mail me that you had a good time, and would like to see me again (if you do want to) 8-12 hours later, MAX. If you would like to see me again, suggest some possible dates/times.

[loki81]

^ that all seems pretty reasonable.

I'd also add, ask questions. show some kind of interest in the other person... I hate it when I find myself being the only person asking questions and they just talk about themselves all night.

(otoh, don't be that guy who needs to relate everything said back to yourself or who always feels the need to "top" someone else's story)

[Huntneo(PT)]

Talking excessively about your ex(s) [and/or past sexual conquests and fetishes].

^ this shit right here.^

I literally threw so many guys into the 'friend' zone immediately when they started the "ex" crap. It was clear with many of them that they "weren't ready".

One guy literally went on about his ex for an hour and a half of our two hour "date" (I was thinking: is this bitch for REAL!?). I never saw him again, and when he e-mailed me...I suggested that he get over his ex before trying to date again.

[G-Lexington]

I agree with all the above. Interact. Talk to each other. Ask questions, and let the answers fuel further conversation. "So, tell me about yourself" isn't a question.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

I agree with all the above. Interact. Talk to each other. Ask questions, and let the answers fuel further conversation. "So, tell me about yourself" isn't a question.

Lex

Sure it is. Although it can either be lazy or it can be a test.

For me, it's a test.

[loki81]

^ this shit right here.^

I literally threw so many guys into the 'friend' zone immediately when they started the "ex" crap. It was clear with many of them that they "weren't ready".

One guy literally went on about his ex for an hour and a half of our two hour "date" (I was thinking: is this bitch for REAL!?). I never saw him again, and when he e-mailed me...I suggested that he get over his ex before trying to date again.

I dated someone once where every story he ever told seemed to involve an ex... by the third or fourth date, I totally understood why he had so many.

I agree with all the above. Interact. Talk to each other. Ask questions, and let the answers fuel further conversation. "So, tell me about yourself" isn't a question.

Lex

I'd also say, I hate the "so what do you like to do for fun?" question. it always makes me feel like an asshole for not having wild and crazy hobbies. instead, to get to the same information without such a broad and open-ended question, ask about previous vacations or future plans (I'm not sure I'd list road trips in the "hobbies" category, but I could go on for awhile about the cross-country trip I'm planning)

[G-Lexington]

I guess I don't mind the "what do you like to do for fun?" question. My hobbies are exceptionally not exciting, but I don't mind discussing them. I just try to frame them in such a way that it's clear that I really do enjoy them. If I said it like "I really don't have many hobbies...reading, I guess. Music, maybe," then I can picture that being a downer. But I usually phrase it more like "If I have a night off with nothing much going on, I love getting a bowl of popcorn, putting on some classical music, and losing myself in a really good book." And people seem to like that OK.

Lex

[Scealle]

Talking excessively about your ex(s)

TURN THE DAMN CELL PHONE OFF. If you have to update Twitter/Facebook to tell all your friends and family how the date is going, it's NOT going well.

I agree with some of your points. Talking about ex can be about unpleasant esp when you are dating someone. I don't have an ex since I haven't dated but I don't like it when my college friends bring up my past fling especially now that he is dating a close friend of mind.

I agree abt the cell phone thing. Though I think some people esp the in the buisness field really have too many contacts to leave the cell phone alone.

[loki81]

confession: this guy messaged me on adam4adam today, and I can't remember if I've ever hooked up with him or not.

I can't really think of a non-awkward way of asking, and without making myself seem like a total slut (because I really don't hookup so often that I lose track of names, but it was awhile ago and I can't tell if his pictures look familiar because we've talked before or because we hooked up... and if I remember but he doesn't, that seems awkward too)

[G-Lexington]

Just tell him "You look somewhat familiar. " If he responds with "Uh, yeah, we hooked up back in October" you can respond with "I know - that's why I said you looked familiar." If he doesn't bring it up, then you can assume you didn't.

In regards to cell phones, I figure if somebody keeps looking at his cell phone, that just means he finds it more interesting than me. So I'll just take my leave so I won't intrude on his cell phone time.

Lex

[blackbeltninja]

over the sink in the bathroom is the most logical place to clip your nails imo

No! Over the rubbish bin. Everyone knows this.

Yeesh, what is WRONG with you people?

-d-

[borg69unimatrix]

confession: this guy messaged me on adam4adam today, and I can't remember if I've ever hooked up with him or not.

I can't really think of a non-awkward way of asking, and without making myself seem like a total slut (because I really don't hookup so often that I lose track of names, but it was awhile ago and I can't tell if his pictures look familiar because we've talked before or because we hooked up... and if I remember but he doesn't, that seems awkward too)

Ask him for a dick pic. I'm horrible with names, and sometimes faces, but I never forget a dick.

[loki81]

Ask him for a dick pic. I'm horrible with names, and sometimes faces, but I never forget a dick.

ha. if he's the guy I think he is, I don't remember his dick at all (though I do remember I got him to cum twice that night)

he sent me the first message and I replied... if he replies to my reply, I'll probably mention that his pictures look familiar. assuming he is who I think he is, I remember it being a slightly awkward hookup, but I'd give him another chance.

[rareboy]

One really important piece of advice; try to make a lot of the date about what you are sharing at the moment. From the very beginning, try to emphasize a shared special experience between the two of you. If there's a chance for everything to click, this will do it.

A simple thing like smiling and being pleasant to others like servers etc. will make a huge impression on your date. As several have also said, flirting is mandatory...otherwise it seems like a job interview.

Relax, relax, relax. In fact the best thing that can happen is for everything not to go exactly as planned. It gives an opportunity for you to see how adaptable and considerate they are and to show how adaptable and considerate you can be.

And if you find yourselves instantly drawn to one another sexually...go with it. Fuck one another on the first date. It isn't high school or an etiquette exam...it could just be burn down the house passion. Have great sex and I can almost guarantee there will be a second and likely third date...by which time you'll both have a better idea of one another.

[maxpowr9]

^ this shit right here.^

I literally threw so many guys into the 'friend' zone immediately when they started the "ex" crap. It was clear with many of them that they "weren't ready".

One guy literally went on about his ex for an hour and a half of our two hour "date" (I was thinking: is this bitch for REAL!?). I never saw him again, and when he e-mailed me...I suggested that he get over his ex before trying to date again.

I have been on a date when a guy was admittedly said he was texting his ex. I appreciated his honesty but got the fuck out of there.

[Scealle]

I have been on a date when a guy was admittedly said he was texting his ex. I appreciated his honesty but got the fuck out of there.

I was eating with a classmate and he can't keep his hands off his hand phone. I get that you are excited about your new found relationship (str8 female) and all but the conversation we had is basically his experiences with his exes and him non stop voice chatting with his gf. I would be lieng if I said I weren't tempted to leave.

[JP.]

Yesterday I was walking with my dog to lake nearby. I must listening to my ipod much until I didn't pay attention that my dog "might" making snow angel over duck's poop/puddle..

I kissed my dog alot and it was the most disgusting taste I ever..
yesterday :/

:~(

[G-Lexington]

A couple days ago, I came to the realization that I get a lot more post comments than I ever leave. So I decided to start commenting on JUBbers' posts a lot more.

Ever since I started, I haven't received a single comment.

...returning to the HT page after posting this, I had a comment. Not related to this post. So, y'know, never mind.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

for the first time in my life, i walked in on somebody jerking off instead of it being the other way around. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..... there wasn't much to see to tell you the truth.

[borg69unimatrix]

Who who who???

[refujiunderground]

Who who who???

my older brother. fronting like he doesn't masturbate.

[borg69unimatrix]

*phew* I was scared for a minute it might have been your dad.

[JohannBessler]

Confession:

Matthew Crawley died.

Not only do I get involved in such things, I actually live in them during the time that they air. Matthew's death was hard to take.

Maxpower9 warned me, but it hurt anyway.

[Sausy]

My confession is I've never seen that bloody show in any of its three seasons nor do I particularly want to. I love period stuff, and British period stuff generally really gets me so I have no idea why the show never appealed to me. Yet it doesn't.

[refujiunderground]

*phew* I was scared for a minute it might have been your dad.

it should have been. the more ammo, the better. that way he can't talk shit. he actually walked on me one time jerking off. he was asshole about it because dude wanted me to sleep at a certain time and this was back when i was like 22 so he just darts into my room all angry without even knocking on my door then he sees me jerking off in my bed. dude was all shocked and walked out the next second. the next day, him and me were in the car and he had the audacity to tell him that it's okay to tell him that i'm jerking off as if it's any of his fucking business. dude's a bully where he thinks the world revolves around him and ONLY him so he pretty much disrespects everybody around him, belittling them, making them feel like they're beneath him or that they should kiss his ass. him and me were about to have it out on monday where he was ready to tell me that i had to get up and eat dinner when i just woke up from sleeping.

i've seen my dad's dick before as a kid where sometimes him and me would shower together. he didn't pass his dick genetics down to me though. i most definitely am NOT a shower.

[loki81]

Confession:

Matthew Crawley died.

Not only do I get involved in such things, I actually live in them during the time that they air. Matthew's death was hard to take.

Maxpower9 warned me, but it hurt anyway.

taking note that the actor was a douchebag and quit the show because he thinks he's too good for tv makes it a better pill to swallow.

[pat grimshaw]

Confession:

Matthew Crawley died. ...

This is not a confession, IT IS A SPOILER!

[RazorzEdge88]

I'm in a really good mood today.

So naturally, I visit the one website that could ruin that! :c)

[JohannBessler]

This is not a confession, IT IS A SPOILER!

But Pat the episode has already aired.

[G-Lexington]

But Pat the episode has already aired.

You think that's how "SPOILER" works? "Now that the movie is in theaters, I can tell you how it ends."

Lex

[maxpowr9]

taking note that the actor was a douchebag and quit the show because he thinks he's too good for tv makes it a better pill to swallow.

TY!

Maggie Smith has already said that she plans to quit to show after the next season/series [I don't get why the Brits use "series"] and she will be killed off then. If the show has any gravitas, they will end the show with her death before it becomes completely absurd although it may be fun to see the London bombing on Downton Abbey.

There is a certain gaming website that I frequent that has absurd rules for spoilers that infuriate me. I got fucking modded for spoiling Citizen Kane. No, not even the fact that rosebud was the name of his sled [I chuckle at that because of what rosebud means in the gay community.] but over the whole William Randolph Hurst history and his yellow journalism. There is a reason that Hurst was left disheveled over his rivalry with Józef Pulitzer. That is why the accolade for journalism is the 'Pulitzer' and not the 'Hurst'. Seriously, WTF are children learning in school these days‽ <-Even that punctuation mark leaves people dumbfounded. That is an interrobang. God forbid I have to explain that '&' is an ampersand.

Then you wonder why I drink. Dealing with ignoramuses would drive anyone to drink. Ignorance is truly bliss and I thank Lisa Simpson for this lovely chart...

[G-Lexington]

God forbid I have to explain that '&' is an ampersand.

Not an "and per se and"?

Lex