I was invited to an orgy - Sunday, Jan 26 - not sure if Im going to go

[M10000]

Hi
I posted on my town's message board at Squirt.org "lets get together for New Years" but it didnt happen.

A guy saw my post and asked me to an orgy this Sunday afternoon. There are 9 guys invited.

I dont have a care so I have to find someone who will take me.

But I have had anxiety and I dont know if Ill go through with it.

There are 6 bi guys and 3 gays. Ages 38 - 60. 1 top, 6 versatile, and 3 bottom

Would you go (if the 60 yr old didnt sho up) and you saw photos of them beforehand? I have just asked for photos

[Just_Believe18]

This is all you need to know:

Never go to a public orgy.

[star-warrior]

This is all you need to know:

Never go to a public orgy.

Yeah, but it's a private orgy

[vacancy3]

dude you have to go

[BENDERBOY]

Go and at least have a look, you can always leave if things look dodgy.

[hylas]

i would try to find out who organises the orgy (in whose house it takes place) and then make contact with him, to see what vibes he gives off.

[HunterM]

If I were you, I would drive (or get someone to drive you) by this address/house and check out the neighborhood the next few days. If it is a house alone in the woods in the swamp, skip it!

If it is at the White House, GO!

[palbert]

I would check the date.

The 26th is Saturday.

Sunday is the 27th.

[Hard-up1]

I would check the date.

The 26th is Saturday.

Sunday is the 27th.

Beat me to it, dammit.


And no, although physical fantasy may be fun, I do not desire intimacy with more than one man.

[FPNY]

Be funny if the 60 year old is the hottest one there....

[Scealle]

Sounds like fun! Better see photos of them first and play safe!

[G-Lexington]

You're welcome to go and sit on the periphery as they start. If it doesn't float your boat, you can leave.

Lex

[Hard-up1]

Nope. The invitation was explicit: it stated in bold print that wallflowers would be cut down, tied in bundles, and hung to dry.

[Benjoe]

Hmm... I think you'll turn up and it will just be you and some dude in his 60's.

Oh look I guess it's just us so shall we get started?

[TheSpectatingLoner]

Only 1 top? Wow, he has a lot of work cut out for him. I'd help him out if I lived nearby.

[borg69unimatrix]

I'm thinking AshyPhoenix's avatar should go here.


(DO IT.... )

[Harke the Boeotarch]

I would... even though I'd be the youngest one there.

[MissAnne]

Its the woman in me saying this but...

I wouldn't go if I were you. Id be worried about getting gang raped, tortured and murdered. Be careful if you do go.

[jensu846]

hell ya, i would go!!!

[M10000]

Go and at least have a look, you can always leave if things look dodgy.

The location is about 20 miles from where I live. Keep in mind that I havent traveled farther than 10 miles in recent years unless I was with family because I can always turn around if I had a panic attack. Family would turn around, many friends wouldnt.

I havent made any friends in the area because of my own battle with anxiety. Sometimes it is good, others times it is not. If it is not, the guy would be saying "how mnay times do we get to go to an orgy, done ruin this for me"

Side story: Several years ago, I wanted an Ipod because others have Ipoads. I had not taken the bus to the main shopping center 30 minutes away. I wanted to take the bus, distract myself, and go there myself. I did, I bought Ipod and came home. It was a victory for me because because I havent travelled alone any distance for 8? years.

i would try to find out who organises the orgy (in whose house it takes place) and then make contact with him, to see what vibes he gives off.

He was impressive. He answered in detail every question I had like what happens at orgy. he has had one before. He said he will show me his photo if he knows I am coming. For me, knowing what to expect - what guys look like - is important. So there are no surprises.

If I were you, I would drive (or get someone to drive you) by this address/house and check out the neighborhood the next few days. If it is a house alone in the woods in the swamp, skip it!

If it is at the White House, GO!

Im sorry but do you guys read? I dont have a car, I cant drive by the place. I can't leave if its not my thing. I have anxiety about driving (if I did have a car). I think Im going to hit someone even though I used to enjoy it

I would check the date.

The 26th is Saturday.

Sunday is the 27th.

I know it is Sunday (afternoon). THere are people who have no others times they could do it. I didnt ask him but Im guessing he picked a conventient time for most people

Be funny if the 60 year old is the hottest one there....

He is the only guy that posted his photo. He is ok. Not a porn star. Its always the oldest guy who posts their photo. I posted photos of myself. Others know what I look like. I rote to the others and asked for photos. If they say no, its a red flag even though they are bi. If a guy wants to go to an orgy, he has go at least show a photo.

You're welcome to go and sit on the periphery as they start. If it doesn't float your boat, you can leave.

Lex

As Ive said, I havent been with guys for many years until recently. Ive been with about 6 guys in 2 months doing various things. Having sex was the ultimate goal which was acheived

I know above that it may sound like Ill be an anxiety wreck but I have overcome various things recently, and been with six guys. In previous years, that is something I would have never expected me to say because the anxiety had such a control on my life.

I see me being second youngest might be a plus. I could say "do you know that I think I have never had a nice massage from a guy, and they jump in wanting to massage me"

Im a bit of an exhibitonist. Im over weight - 30 lbs - but we arent talking about 20 something guys where I would definately be comparing myself to them. If I get a sense that guys are into me, I dont have a problem stripping down. I wont be a wallflower.

I even thought of a game. A guy is blindfolded and then others suck him off briefly and he decides who gives the best blowjob. I thought that could be fun. Im confident inmy cocksucking ability.

And with safety in mind, I heard the word 'train' a year ago. A bottom gets fucked by one guy after the next. Maybe that can happen. I can see what its like and it will be something not everyione has done.

Ironically, the department tore in my town is closing and everything is 50% off. I bought $270 worth of clothes for $140. Last night, I got a area carpet worth $160 for $31!!!. On my way out, I noticed 'personal hygiene' and condoms were on sale. I forgot how much but I can buy some if I want to try out this train idea.

Of course, the guys could be ugly, and I said no.

Hmm... I think you'll turn up and it will just be you and some dude in his 60's.

Oh look I guess it's just us so shall we get started?

The guy in charge is not the old guy. He is Asian and I noticed that Asians like my look so maybe that is why he asked me because you would think he would ask the guy who started the thread about an orgy in my town. I replied saying "someone needs to host" and I have a small place.

Only 1 top? Wow, he has a lot of work cut out for him. I'd help him out if I lived nearby.

The others are versatile

Only 1 top? Wow, he has a lot of work cut out for him. I'd help him out if I lived nearby.

Its a possibility but a guy said he has been there efore. They had one last month but there were only 4 guys.

I could wind up on the Today show with Matt Lauer saying "Mark, let me get this straight, you go to a strangers home and you get gang raped. How is that not your fault?" Hey, at least I would have made it on to the Today show ;-)

If I dont like what I see, I could take a bus back but I dont want to take a bus there because I would end up getting worked up about it from anticipation.

All in all, I just have to make sure the younger guy isnt cuter or it will all be about him, him him ;-)

Thanks for the input. I really dont know what will happen. If I am having a good day, I could go.

I have thought of posting in my area's message board. I cant host about 4 guys. Cmon, lets get together like we keep posting, even if it is a circle jerk.

Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who took anit depressants that killed my sex drive and I couls go two months with jacking off. My sex drive is better than it has been and maybe I can add my input about guys and how big they are

I have a fantasy of getting fucked in a sling but the closest bathouse is 90 minutes away on bus. That is just not something I could do. I would have to go with a friend

[TheSpectatingLoner]

Those vers guys will become bottoms the second they see a nice dick.

Like I said, the top has his work cut out for him. Hope he drinks some Red Bull.

[M10000]

I checkedd my mail and I have two offers to drive me. One I would pass on but the other guy was sexy.

[hylas]

He was impressive. He answered in detail every question I had like what happens at orgy. he has had one before. He said he will show me his photo if he knows I am coming. For me, knowing what to expect - what guys look like - is important. So there are no surprises.

did you guys just communicate with chat/text/mail, or did you talk to him on the phone or video chat? in my experience, its hard to "get a vibe" through chatting or texting alone, and lies come easy in written form. but if you can hear his voice, and you have a good feeling about him, then id say youre good to go!

i will however not even say anything about your anxiety issues or whatever youve got going on there, because thats something you and only you can make decisions about.

[G-Lexington]

I checkedd my mail and I have two offers to drive me. One I would pass on but the other guy was sexy.

Good. Never accept a ride from an unattractive man.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

Can someone educate me? I may be the most naive gay man on the planet. Or the least exposed. Are orgies common? Who organizes these things? Are they private parties thrown by a couple or a group of friends? Or by unofficial bathhouse clubs or?

I'm so perplexed. I wasn't seriously aware that orgies actually went on. Since Rome.

Is there etiquette to orgies? What happens if someone you really really aren't attracted to just starts manhandling you?

[CupidBoy]

If you truly had anxiety issues you wouldn't even consider it. I wouldn't do it if I were you, could be dangerous.

[G-Lexington]

Can someone educate me? I may be the most naive gay man on the planet. Or the least exposed. Are orgies common? Who organizes these things? Are they private parties thrown by a couple or a group of friends? Or by unofficial bathhouse clubs or?

I'm so perplexed. I wasn't seriously aware that orgies actually went on. Since Rome.

Is there etiquette to orgies? What happens if someone you really really aren't attracted to just starts manhandling you?

"How do orgies work?" is a bit like asking "How do parties work?" It depends on the orgy.

Some are private affairs. You invite your sexually open friends to come over and have sex. Sometimes, a friend might suggest bringing a new friend along, but that's as far as that goes.

For the online ones, I'm assuming there's a filter in place. Somebody organizes the event and gives the date, time and vague area. Interested parties contact him, he chats with them, decides if they're "cool", and if so, he'll give the location.

I'm assuming etiquette is similar to bathhouse etiquette. Be open to possibilities, but respect people's boundaries. If you really don't want to do something, you say so, and they're supposed to respect your wishes.

No, never done one. I might be up for one someday. The fact that I tend to like "regular" people means I might enjoy it.

Lex

[palbert]

If I had the anxiety issues you say you have I wouldn't even consider it.

[M10000]

If you truly had anxiety issues you wouldn't even consider it. I wouldn't do it if I were you, could be dangerous.

Cupid
I truly have anxiety issues. I don't know why you would doubt it if that's what you meant. I have had it since 1989.

The only way to conquer them - as experts will tell you - is to face them.
And I have done that by having guys over to my place. Not because I'm a slut but it is more comfortable for me to have them come to my place. if I change my mind, I can make up an excuse or ask them to leave

Because of my anxiety, I have missed friendships, relationships, concerts, movies, traveling, etc. My last vacation was 1989 because there is no way I could get on a plane.

Maybe you haven't followed my posts but I assure you that my anxiety is 'true' and I have spoken about it. Fortunately I am not paralyzed with fear so much so that i am not house bound like some people are. There are different degrees of anxiety

And the only way to conquer it is exposure therapy and doing exactly what you dread most. I may be making a huge mistake and I may tell - whoever drives me - to pull over and I'm taking a bus home.

For me, it really depends on the day. If I'm having a good day, I can conquer those demons that have held me back for so long. and I just may have had an Oprah " a ha " moment when I said that.

[M10000]

If I had the anxiety issues you say you have I wouldn't even consider it.

So I should just waste away? not try anything?
that's productive, not

[G-Lexington]

I don't doubt your anxiety - I'm just unclear if an orgy is a necessary step in this equation. Because I'm guessing 99.9% of people never take part in an orgy. And 99.9% of them aren't avoiding orgies because of anxiety issues. They just have no interest in taking part. It may be that you at some point down the line said this: "I've always dreamed of taking part in an orgy. The only thing holding me back was my anxiety." And if that's really and truly the case, then yeah - go for it, and I hope it kicks ass. But if you think taking part in an orgy is just some random stepping stone towards "feeling good about myself again", I'm not sure I agree. It reads like those hucksters who say they'll teach you to "live your dreams" by making you go firewalking.

Lex

[palbert]

So I should just waste away? not try anything?
that's productive, not

I do not know you, other than from this Forum. I do not doubt your anxiety issues. I have them myself -- although not as severe as you. I have conquered them very gradually.

Go if you think it will advance your "cure." But for goodness sake leave yourself boltholes or escapes. A full blown panic attack under these circumstances could be more regressive than therapeutic.

[CupidBoy]

I don't doubt your anxiety - I'm just unclear if an orgy is a necessary step in this equation. Because I'm guessing 99.9% of people never take part in an orgy. And 99.9% of them aren't avoiding orgies because of anxiety issues. They just have no interest in taking part. It may be that you at some point down the line said this: "I've always dreamed of taking part in an orgy. The only thing holding me back was my anxiety." And if that's really and truly the case, then yeah - go for it, and I hope it kicks ass. But if you think taking part in an orgy is just some random stepping stone towards "feeling good about myself again", I'm not sure I agree. It reads like those hucksters who say they'll teach you to "live your dreams" by making you go firewalking.

Lex

Lex beat me to it.

[M10000]

Lex (and Cupid)
I agree with what you say although in an orgy has not been a goal of mine.
Our own community board has mentioned group play and it never happens. I have thought of that while 'doing the dirty'. It could be hot. Too bad my ton's guys arent willing to host. My place is too small.


Palbert,
It wont be a therapeutic step I dont think, but I will have not been with a bunch of naked guys in double years. Actually, thats a little anxiety worthy.
I will have the bus to fall back on if I say "get me off this" and I dont mean his cock ;-)

Ill be going over the newest bridge in the area and its now the widest bridge in the world. Good thing bridges dont give me anxiety (yet)


drawing

[diamondstar]

Don't do it OP I'm only teasing. Just do me a favor and be safe.

[M10000]

I dont want to build this up too much. Too late for that.

If I dont go, Im only human

Ill be safe(r)

The closing department store has condoms on sale if you can believe it. Im stopping by later today. I cant go empty handed


My question to others? Would you go to an orgy or is this something for porns?

[EuroSoccer]

I would give it a miss if I was you mate.
An orgy with strangers is never a good idea.

[G-Lexington]

I haven't been with a "bunch of naked guys" since...well, I don't know. Maybe when I changed at the water park a few months ago? When I was in a steam room a couple years back? I don't think I have body issues, really (the naked photos suggest that), but neither am I all that interested in tracking down groups to be naked in. It's just not a situation I find myself in.

Again, I'm not interested in talking you out of this. I just want to make sure you're doing this for the right reason. To wit, "taking part in an orgy sound really fun and hot". If so, then yes, feel free. Play safe, play smart, but go play. But if you're still equating "not taking part in this orgy" with "giving in to my anxiety fears", I think there's a disconnect there.

Lex

[LatimerRd]

I'd forget it. Way too complicated.

[M10000]

I haven't been with a "bunch of naked guys" since...well, I don't know. Maybe when I changed at the water park a few months ago? When I was in a steam room a couple years back? I don't think I have body issues, really (the naked photos suggest that), but neither am I all that interested in tracking down groups to be naked in. It's just not a situation I find myself in.

Again, I'm not interested in talking you out of this. I just want to make sure you're doing this for the right reason. To wit, "taking part in an orgy sound really fun and hot". If so, then yes, feel free. Play safe, play smart, but go play. But if you're still equating "not taking part in this orgy" with "giving in to my anxiety fears", I think there's a disconnect there.

Lex

Maybe Im dumb but I dont know what that means.

If I dont go, that means I am letting my anxiety get the best of me?

confused

[GiancarloC]

Wow. I wonder what kind of STDs one could get from such a "event". For me... I'd be say "hell no" on this one. Condoms aren't 100%... and the more people the more of a chance of catching something.

[AshyPhoenix]

I'm thinking AshyPhoenix's avatar should go here.


(DO IT.... )

. .

[G-Lexington]

Maybe Im dumb but I dont know what that means.

If I dont go, that means I am letting my anxiety get the best of me?

confused

Close. You shouldn't equate "maybe I shouldn't go to this orgy (or any orgy)" with "I'm letting my anxiety rule my life". Because there are plenty of reasons not to go to an orgy that have nothing to do with your anxiety ssues. There are other ways to push you anxiety limits that don't involve orgies.

Lex

[AlmondMilk]

My friend went to one to look around. I guess I'd go if it were close.

[dereperez]

I personally am not into orgies, but if you have a curiosity that needs to be scratched, then hey why not? But just as with most things in life, take it with a grain of salt. Find out more from the guy and if it's truly legit, he would be comfortable enough in divulging more info to you. Maybe bring a willing friend along?

[glasvegas]

Do it if you really want to, not someone pressuring you to. I am not into orgy, I am not even into threesome. Perhaps just watch at the sideline first then decide if you want to be in it?

[IAMTHATIAM]

Intimacy with strangers?

Oxymoron

To touch and be touched by...

some random person. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

[dereperez]

Intimacy with strangers?

Oxymoron

To touch and be touched by...

some random person. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

Some people get off on that, nothing wrong with it. Different strokes (pun intended).

[M10000]

Close. You shouldn't equate "maybe I shouldn't go to this orgy (or any orgy)" with "I'm letting my anxiety rule my life". Because there are plenty of reasons not to go to an orgy that have nothing to do with your anxiety ssues. There are other ways to push you anxiety limits that don't involve orgies.

Lex

There are other ways to push you anxiety limits that don't involve orgies.
- I went shopping the other day as I mentioned and didnt have an anxiety attack. I tried on clothes which I wouldnt have done.
I pushed my anxiety limit.
Orgy could be next is the list.
Of course, I could say "turn the car around. Ive changed my mind"

I personally am not into orgies, but if you have a curiosity that needs to be scratched, then hey why not? But just as with most things in life, take it with a grain of salt. Find out more from the guy and if it's truly legit, he would be comfortable enough in divulging more info to you. Maybe bring a willing friend along?

I just spoke to him. He wanted to know if I was coming. I explained my anxiety and that I could say "turn the car around" and he understood that. Im a "maybe". Maybe Ill go, maybe I wont.

Do it if you really want to, not someone pressuring you to. I am not into orgy, I am not even into threesome. Perhaps just watch at the sideline first then decide if you want to be in it?

My impression is you are either youre in or youre out. It isnt a viewing event unless its a room full of exhibitionists, who like that sort of thing.

Intimacy with strangers?

Oxymoron

To touch and be touched by...

some random person. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

Orgy does not mean intimacy. A kiss is intimate but not everyone kisses. Its about sex, not intimacy.

Wow. I wonder what kind of STDs one could get from such a "event". For me... I'd be say "hell no" on this one. Condoms aren't 100%... and the more people the more of a chance of catching something.

Probably the safest guys these days are in truly committed relationships. But Ive seen many gay couples have open relationships who have sex outside the relationship. I was surprised but after thinking about it, "guys are guys. They want sex and I guess variety. Who knows" maybe someone in an open relationship can answer that question.

[rareboy]

Lex beat me to it.

Cupid and Lex and Palbert beat me to it.

But if you think you might enjoy it...then go for it.