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  1. #1
    Already Gone BreakTheIce's Avatar
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    A question about Lesbians

    I'm usually not one to stereotype, but why is that with most lesbian couples I see, one is like an attractive looking woman and the other isn't even remotely feminine at all?

    My boyfriend brought it up in conversation and I had the same thoughts so I thought I'd ask.

  2. #2
    ( ´・ _ ・) wha?
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Same for gays: one is older, one is younger. One is the bear, one is the cub. One is the top, one is the bottom.

  3. #3
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    I only know three lesbian couples fairly well. I can't say as I'm the best judge of this, but in each case, I think both participants are roughly equally attractive. In short, I reject your hypothesis.

    Lex

  4. #4
    Sex God youfiad's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    These are typical stereotypes. As such, take it for what its worth. Stereotypes exist for a reason, but don't take it too much further than the surface.

  5. #5
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians









    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  6. #6
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    I noticed this as well. Usually one is butch and the other is more feminine. I ask my lesb sister about it, and she didn't know how to explain this as well. I guess it's like a top bottom / Ying Yang thing. I haven't really see 2 feminine lesbian couples.

  7. #7
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Yeah...I noticed this as well. One farts loudly...and the other farts silently...but deadly.

  8. #8
    JUB Addict The Fly's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    I have a few lesbian friends and don't see this stereotype at all. Like any other segment of the population there are multiple variations, But if you look for re-enforcement of stereotypes you'll easily find it. One thing I have noticed about lesbian couples is, butch lesbians never (IMO) form long term romantic relationships with other butch lesbians.

  9. #9

    Re: A question about Lesbians

    My sister and her wife kind of fall into this stereotype. I wouldn't really call my sister butch, however she does like power tools and is into sports, where her wife is into books, cooking, pinterest (ack!) and not into sports or handy at all. As for their attractiveness...eh, neither are more/less than the other....kind of plain.

    I've met some of their lesbian couple friends...honestly, few are attractive No lipstick lesbians in their circle.
    Bad decisions make good stories.

  10. #10
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    - butch is not the same thing as ugly, feminine is not the same thing as attractive! rephrase your question!

    - opposites attract. sometimes.

    - there are many fem-fem lesbian couples, but they dont read as lesbian couple. if they walk by, you just think theyre best friends. quoting a lesbian woman here.

  11. #11
    Already Gone BreakTheIce's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    I wasn't saying or implying that feminine = attractive. I generally like all women because they make awesome friends for me as a gay man.

    I'm merely pointing out that one of them seems more feminine (wears makeup, dresses, high heels, all that) and the other isn't that feminine (probably most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt, tennis shoes, etc.)

  12. #12
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by BreakTheIce View Post
    I wasn't saying or implying that feminine = attractive.
    yes you were:

    Quote Originally Posted by BreakTheIce View Post
    why is that with most lesbian couples I see, one is like an attractive looking woman and the other isn't even remotely feminine at all?

  13. #13
    Fizzy Grant BFizzle's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    If anything, my boyfriend and I are the embodiment of the gay couple stereotype. I'm 30, dominant, and kinda ugly. My boyfriend is 21, thin, beautiful, twink type, and very submissive.
    OMG me and my bf are the same way, cept we both cute.

  14. #14
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    lesbians secret agents fa
    SSSSSSH*

    oops

  15. #15

    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by hylas View Post
    yes you were:
    oh..lay off him. He never used the word butch or ugly in his OP...but you did. Take him at his word that he didn't mean to imply anything. Maybe it was a poor choice of words to use as a comparison, but really not offensive or worth making a big deal about. I understood what he meant anyway...feminine women often go to extra lengths to make themselves more attractive...hair, makeup, clothes, etc., where many other lesbians keep themselves more natural and aren't as concerned with presenting themselves in a stereotypical feminine manner.
    Bad decisions make good stories.

  16. #16
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by jaysizzles View Post
    never used the word butch or ugly in his OP...
    no, he uses "not remotely attractive" as a contrast to "feminine"

    Quote Originally Posted by jaysizzles View Post
    Maybe it was a poor choice of words to use as a comparison,
    which is all i pointed out... before moving on to the actual topic, which i too understood just fine.

  17. #17
    JUB Addict sokker's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Well.. I'm a gay woman. I don't get it either. I'm as baffled as you are. I'm only turned on by femme women. Why would I be turned on by women who look like guys when I'm gay? I'm confused. Like if you like girls, you don't go for the most masculine looking woman you see. Doesn't that kinda defeat the purpose of being gay?

    I only find lipstick lesbians attractive. I'm not interested in butches. And funnily enough, the lesbian community actually pushes out lipstick lesbians. They're so hated you have no idea. I think it's mostly out of jealousy, the butch women really want to look like the lipstick lesbians, and consider us competition. BTW, most lesbians really are butch, the stereotype is true.They hate lipstick lesbians almost as much as they hate men, and that says a lot. LOL. I don't feel part of the lesbian community at all. I'm not butch, I'm not a feminist and I don't hate men. The gay (male) community is so much better.
    I like Francisco Lachowski, Jon Kortajarena and other male models

  18. #18
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by sokker View Post

    I think it's mostly out of jealousy, the butch women really want to look like the lipstick lesbians, and consider us competition. BTW, most lesbians really are butch, the stereotype is true.They hate lipstick lesbians almost as much as they hate men, and that says a lot. LOL. I don't feel part of the lesbian community at all. I'm not butch, I'm not a feminist and I don't hate men. The gay (male) community is so much better.
    Last edited by MissAnne; January 21st, 2013 at 04:03 PM.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  19. #19
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    I love stereotypes.

    keeps the world real or maybe unreal.




  20. #20

    Re: A question about Lesbians

    I think alot of that is protection, so the st males don't intervene, and they like strong women, like smome of us gays like strong men.

  21. #21
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    LMAO. sokker's post is riddled with fail.

    All the butch ladies are jealous of me. I'm not a feminist. aksdjfk WHAT.



    I'm still trying to wrap my head around her not watching American Horror Story since it features a lesbian storyline this season instead of a gay one. Then this post. She is not a fan of lesbians it seems.
    Some people have never met real life lesbians.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  22. #22
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    (ignore this)

  23. #23
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by BreakTheIce View Post
    I'm usually not one to stereotype, but why is that with most lesbian couples I see, one is like an attractive looking woman and the other isn't even remotely feminine at all?

    My boyfriend brought it up in conversation and I had the same thoughts so I thought I'd ask.
    I don't know about "most"...more like just "some". You have your femme gay guys and the non-femme gay guys. Same with the lesbians...you have the femmes and the non-femmes.

  24. #24
    Fizzy Grant BFizzle's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    This really doesn't have anything to do with lesbians but sokker's post reminded me of a Facebook status a girl posted earlier today that started out with "I'm not a feminist, but..."

    I just don't understand being a woman and not being a feminist. I even consider myself a feminist to an extent. That's like being gay and saying "I don't care about gay rights."


  25. #25
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by BFizzle View Post
    I just don't understand being a woman and not being a feminist. I even consider myself a feminist to an extent. That's like being gay and saying "I don't care about gay rights."
    Yes.....
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  26. #26
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    I can't say that I'm very familiar with the terms but I've heard of certain classes of 'butch' and 'femme.' Like soft-butch/hard-butch. Soft-femme/hard-femme. Or am I just totally confused about these things? I don't know.

    I'm guessing this is a soft-butch look :



    And this is a hard-femme look:



    Or maybe I'm just waaaaaaaaaaay off-base with all of this stuff.


    That seems right. Ive also found rl hard femmes to look like pretty athletes. If they wanted to, they could easily look fem. Hard butches would have a difficult time doing that.

    I would also call Ellen a soft butch.


    This girl below is a Black stud. Studs can mean different things for White girls but usually in the Black community, studs look like this.

    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  27. #27

    Re: A question about Lesbians

    I wonder what Lesbians think of Lesbian sex in straight porn: all of the women are sultry sex-bombs.

    I only know one Lesbian and she's a super butch type and dresses like a truck driver but she has the most feminine sensibility. Not manner, but sensibility. Can't figure her out. Her outside is a charicature of masculinity and her inside feminine and delicate.

  28. #28
    Sex God youfiad's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by BFizzle View Post
    I just don't understand being a woman and not being a feminist. I even consider myself a feminist to an extent. That's like being gay and saying "I don't care about gay rights."[/img]
    *Not sure if thinks that being a feminist is linked to being a woman or if trying to make silly point*

  29. #29
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by youfiad View Post
    *Not sure if thinks that being a feminist is linked to being a woman or if trying to make silly point*
    It should be linked to feminism.

    A woman not wanting women's rights is strange.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  30. #30
    Fizzy Grant BFizzle's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by youfiad View Post
    *Not sure if thinks that being a feminist is linked to being a woman or if trying to make silly point*


    Do I know you.

  31. #31
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    I can't say that I'm very familiar with the terms but I've heard of certain classes of 'butch' and 'femme.' Like soft-butch/hard-butch. Soft-femme/hard-femme. Or am I just totally confused about these things? I don't know.

    I'm guessing this is a soft-butch look :



    And this is a hard-femme look:



    Or maybe I'm just waaaaaaaaaaay off-base with all of this stuff.
    That's....way beyond my knowledge base in this area, lol.

  32. #32
    Sex God youfiad's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    It should be linked to feminism.

    A woman not wanting women's rights is strange.
    Feminism isn't defined by women's rights.

  33. #33
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    ^ Thanks MissAnne, for the info.

    I personally love the Soft-Butch and Hard-Femme looks the best.
    You're welcome

    Im the same way. I dont really go for the really hard butch or stud look. Its just not for me.

    I love femmes but I also dig soft butch.

    Fell in love with Frankie from Lip Service

    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  34. #34
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Definition of FEMINISM


    1

    : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes


    2

    : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  35. #35
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    Definition of FEMINISM


    1

    : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes


    2

    : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests
    Much like political correctness, it has been redefined by people outside of its scope who consider it "intrusive" or "annoying" or whatever else... and turned into "something bad" in everyday speech.

    Know what I mean, broad?

  36. #36
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    Much like political correctness, it has been redefined by people outside of its scope who consider it "intrusive" or "annoying" or whatever else... and turned into "something bad" in everyday speech.

    Know what I mean, broad?
    Got it, Guppy.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  37. #37
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    I saw it.
    haha... after i posted i felt like it was a little too much like bashing.

    Quote Originally Posted by BFizzle View Post
    I just don't understand being a woman and not being a feminist.
    i guess the term "feminist" comes with some weird baggage... but i still think sane women are feminists.

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    OMG i want to be a lesbian now.

  38. #38
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    There are a lot of girls in my college that has the soft butch look. Not sure if they are lesbians or not though.

  39. #39
    JUB Addict teadrinker's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fly View Post
    I have a few lesbian friends and don't see this stereotype at all. Like any other segment of the population there are multiple variations, But if you look for re-enforcement of stereotypes you'll easily find it.
    I think this is very true. I've met many lesbian couples over the years, from young (teens) to old (both in their late 70's), and I think there are infinite varieties of relationship.

    -T.

    "Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea? how did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea." (Sydney Smith)

  40. #40
    mamónes Taz's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Thread reminded me of this clip. Funny as shit.

    You show courage the brave dream of

    Gallop on my old warhorse

  41. #41

    Re: A question about Lesbians

    the idea that homosexual relationships should be between two more-or-less equals is a new and very artificial idea . If butch/femme is not pc at the moment top/bottom is in very common usage here and usually fixed , bottoms don't become tops generally .

  42. #42

    Re: A question about Lesbians

    as a ( straight ) friend of mine put it , referring to a couple we both knew , "We know who wears the strap-on dildo in that family" .

  43. #43
    Sex God Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    I was surfing youtube and came across this clip that made me think of this thread and it made me LMAO, though its really not related to the topic at hand.


  44. #44
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom View Post
    I was surfing youtube and came across this clip that made me think of this thread and it made me LMAO, though its really not related to the topic at hand.

    Thanks for posting this. Hilarious and Im in love with Alicia Banit from Dance Academy. I didn't know that she was on this show.

    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  45. #45
    The Utilitarian nitish's Avatar
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    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Like others said, it's easier to notice a butch/fem couple than a couple that are similar.

  46. #46

    Re: A question about Lesbians

    Who cares?

    They love eachother, and what they share works for the moment.

    Who is guanteed more than this present moment... not me. That's all I have.


    Best wishes women!

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