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  1. #1
    illgetbi
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    Question about sex and money

    A friend of mine was recently notified that a guy he had a one night stand with a few years ago has passed away, and that he's listed as sole beneficiary in his will.

    Apart from being totally surprised and baffled by the news, he's feeling conflicted over whether he should accept it or not. Was it meant to show appreciation for their time together? The hookup had lasted less than an hour, the sex was bad, and he dropped the guy on the floor trying to put him back in his wheelchair.

    Or was it intended to be a random act of generosity, leaving everything to a stranger, and my friend just happened to be picked? Was it to spite his family? Was he drunk? Was there someone else in his life who had the same name as my friend? He just doesn't know what to make of it...

    So what do you think I should do, keep the money or give it to charity?

  2. #2
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by illgetbi View Post
    A friend of mine was recently notified that a guy he had a one night stand with a few years ago has passed away, and that he's listed as sole beneficiary in his will.

    ...

    So what do you think I should do, keep the money or give it to charity?
    Wait, I'm confused. Who is the one inheriting stuff here, you or your friend? How much money are we talking about? Is it just money, or other stuff too? And just how bad was the sex?

  3. #3
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Keep it. And tell the family if they had sprung for a decent escort, they'd be splitting the dough now themselves.

    Lex

  4. #4
    I need water Kabluey's Avatar
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    Guess he experienced something with you that affected him. Up to you to decide whether that's worthy of anything. Does he have family? Was he in contact with them?
    Blah blah blah, something enigmatic sounding...

  5. #5
    Sex God Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    I dont see the problem of excepting the money since 1/ the guys passed away and 2/ he did leave to him.

    Should respect the dead wishes.

  6. #6
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel too.

    If someone went out of their way to put you in their will-- they had their reasons. Whether you know what they are or not. Maybe you were, however brief, a ray of sunshine in an unhappy life with a family that didn't give a crap.

    My gut says if anyone felt that way about you and wanted to leave you things that belonged to them... accept it. It's what they wanted.

  7. #7
    illgetbi
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxess View Post
    Wait, I'm confused. Who is the one inheriting stuff here, you or your friend? How much money are we talking about? Is it just money, or other stuff too? And just how bad was the sex?
    Oops, typo. Should have been "what do you think I should advise him to do..."

    Money is high six figures. He gets the house and everything in it, but that might be a nightmare to deal with because it's kind of a Hoarder's situation in there. There's also a customized PT Cruiser, a timeshare in Reno, half of a shoe that belonged to Andy Warhol, a massive laserdisc collection, and a box of kidney stones, among other trinkets.

    The sex was bad because all the clutter in the house made it hard to manuever. We finally found a comfortable place on the floor to 69, but then a box fell on his head and I stepped on a tack and the sex turned bad again and never recovered.

  8. #8
    Oranje rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    I think you may have have done something that no one else had done in this guy's life.

    Being kind. And thoughtful. And considerate.

    On one hand I want to tell you to turn it over to Lady Mary's father in order to save Downton Abbey....but the other part of me just thinks that you should move into his house for a month or two and get to really know him and his life story.

    There's a great novel in all of this just waiting to be written.

    By the way... I would get the kidney stones set in gold for cuff-links.
    Last edited by rareboy; January 21st, 2013 at 05:55 AM.

  9. #9
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by illgetbi View Post
    Oops, typo. Should have been "what do you think I should advise him to do..."

    Money is high six figures. He gets the house and everything in it, but that might be a nightmare to deal with because it's kind of a Hoarder's situation in there. There's also a customized PT Cruiser, a timeshare in Reno, half of a shoe that belonged to Andy Warhol, a massive laserdisc collection, and a box of kidney stones, among other trinkets.

    The sex was bad because all the clutter in the house made it hard to manuever. We finally found a comfortable place on the floor to 69, but then a box fell on his head and I stepped on a tack and the sex turned bad again and never recovered.
    ...still inconsistent :/
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  10. #10
    Broken... mark1111's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    No questions about it, keep everything. Rareboy said move in and get to know him, take inventory as to what to keep, trash what is obvious, contact an antique dealer then take it from there.

    Good luck


    (or you could give it to me...)

  11. #11
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    The will is the prerogative of the deceased.

    As for your dilemma and ethics, I cannot think of anything unethical about the situation, other than your uncharacteristic fumbling with pronouns in your posts this time.

    We all know that casual sex is often casual for one party and not for the other. That it meant a great deal to him, or even if it is only his way of spiting others, or more optimistically, of simply being true to his life, is his doing.

    If he didn't articulate any personal message to you, then it is likely you'll never know which motive inspired him.

    By all means accept the gift. There is nothing to prevent you from being gracious with his personal effects and allowing family and loved ones to take anything at all that they want, including everything personal. As you have already declared, you had no attachment to him whatsoever, so there would be no reason to deny any relative or loved one, unless someone plans to make a wholesale haul of all furniture and valuables, and that would only encourage greed.

    And, be thankful the estate left enough resources to pay someone to help sort out the hoarder's mess and clean. Most of us with that scenario were left in that situation by paupers.

    It is a life-changer, I'm imagining, both financially and spiritually. You will never take your actions for granted again. You have always been a thoughtful, analytical sort anyway. The universe just put more on your plate to consider.

    And, don't give it to Mark. He knows it would corrupt him.

  12. #12
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Anyway, I forgot to say my opinion on your problem - I mean, your friend.

    If you feel so uncomfortable about the whole idea you barely knew him, just give the money off to charity. It's your property now, after all - use it for something good instead of leaving it to be eaten by moths and bookworms.

    But actually you need not feel burdened about the money; there must be a good reason he listed you as the beneficiary. Also, it's legal.
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  13. #13
    Glorious Years on JUB!
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    I think you your friend should keep what was given. It was his decision to make, so accept it with grace. Once it's yours your friend's, you your friend can do pretty much what you he wish with the stuff, unless he has it set out in his will what is to be done with them, for instance, caring for a pet etc..
    Last edited by star-warrior; January 21st, 2013 at 07:15 AM.


  14. #14

    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by freefall View Post
    ...still inconsistent :/
    ( wanker/octoberoad used to be inconsistent with his stories too.)

    advise "your friend" to contact an attorney and an accountant.
    Bad decisions make good stories.

  15. #15
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    If the family desperately wants a painting or something, obviously be gracious and give it to them. Otherwise, he obviously felt your hour of clumsy sex was nicer and more memorable than their lifetime of care.

    Lex

  16. #16
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Keep the money. Then give it to me...as charity of course.

  17. #17
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    what a depressing story...
    keep the money. if you feel conflicted, give it to charity.

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    If the family desperately wants a painting or something, obviously be gracious and give it to them.
    agreed.

  18. #18

    Re: Question about sex and money

    I suppose it would be less offensive to his family if he'd have left his fortune to his cat.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  19. #19

    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by illgetbi View Post
    and a box of kidney stones
    this is my favorite part of the "story" !
    Bad decisions make good stories.

  20. #20
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    As a memorial, you could plant flowers in his bed pan for the front yard.
    Did you also get the wheelchair? Wheelies in the driveway can be fun.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  21. #21
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Take the money. Then you can finally pay for those ass implants you've been wanting for so long.

    I still don't understand why you would *want* an ass on your forehead, but to each his own...
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  22. #22

    Re: Question about sex and money

    If I have bad sex with you, will you leave me in your will ???
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  23. #23
    Is the King of JUB Beachguyj's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    What doesn't make sense is how a hoarder can be in a wheelchair and get around. But if it's true he should take the money.
    Never cease to find it strange
    How at midnight things seem hopeless
    But by dawn they've changed

  24. #24
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by LilBit View Post
    Take the money. Then you can finally pay for those ass implants you've been wanting for so long.

    I still don't understand why you would *want* an ass on your forehead, but to each his own...
    Can you think of a better way to get balls in your mouth?
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  25. #25
    illgetbi
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by hylas View Post
    what a depressing story...
    Indeed. The coroner says it was the Spanish fly that ultimately killed him.

    Though I suspect the french tickler they found lodged in his throat.

    Either way, no way deserves to die in such an illogical fashion.


    Thanks everyone for all the great advice. We're still conflicted, but we took the PT Cruiser for a test drive this morning and it's surprisingly roomy.

  26. #26
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    BTW, you know that this is gonna affect your alimony payments, right?
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  27. #27
    illgetbi
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    .....fuck.

  28. #28

    Re: Question about sex and money

    As improbable as "Great Expectations" or, for that matter, last week's "Downton Abbey" plot twist.

  29. #29
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by illgetbi View Post
    Thanks everyone for all the great advice. We're still conflicted, but we took the PT Cruiser for a test drive this morning and it's surprisingly roomy.
    ...and then you poof away with the loosely shrouded mystery of who actually has the receipt
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  30. #30
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by illgetbi View Post
    .....fuck.
    That's one way to solve the problem...
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  31. #31
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    That's what got him into this mess in the first place.

    Lex

  32. #32
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    That's what got him into this mess in the first place.

    Lex
    It's a vicious cycle.
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  33. #33
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    But an enjoyable one.

    Lex

  34. #34
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    But an enjoyable one.

    Lex
    Perhaps. But at this point, I think it would have been cheaper for me to get a law degree than to keep paying my divorce lawyer.
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  35. #35
    In Heat............ BENDERBOY's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    You earned every penny.

    Enjoy.
    "You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person"
    - anonymous quote.

  36. #36
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Question about sex and money

    Assuming any of this is real, and I highly doubt it, keep the loot and count your blessings. Or rather, tell your "friend" to keep the loot and count his blessings.

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