When you meet someone do you make the first move?

[cgymike]

Just trying to get an idea of where you are on this "first contact" thing whether on-line or off-line. Do you always, usually, half the time, seldom, never make the first move to show interest in someone else? Wether a glance at a bar, a wink on-line, or whatever first contact might be depending on the situation...

For me it is becoming more passive where I just let the other person make the first move. Maybe it's fear of rejection sure but also I've tried the other extreme - always making the first move and yuck...IMO it's rarely worth the effort. But maybe it's just where I am right now on this. The way I look at it also ...if you wait for the other guy to do it then at least you know the motivation is from his side...you just have to see if there's that chemistry from your side.

Discuss! (hehehe)

[mitchymo]

I don't ever make moves. I just don't like the thought of making a tit of myself. I'm far too self-conscious for my own good.

[loveguys72]

If I'm interested, I'll flirt. If he flirts first and I'm interested, well.....woohoo!

[Rolyo85]

Usually, I'm the one to make the first move, though not always. When it comes to actual "dates" (which I hate), usually the other guy asks me out. But as far as showing interest, I'm the first.

[Hard-up1]

Not surprisingly, I am comfortable with small talk. I flirt by being excited and chatty. If there is any prospect at all, he can't miss my interest. I look directly into the eyes, make jokes, and generally show interest. It's usually all one sided, the interest, that is, but I believe I'll find him one day.

[loveguys72]

You and me both, buddy.

Not surprisingly, I am comfortable with small talk. I flirt by being excited and chatty. If there is any prospect at all, he can't miss my interest. I look directly into the eyes, make jokes, and generally show interest. It's usually all one sided, the interest, that is, but I believe I'll find him one day.

[cgymike]

Not surprisingly, I am comfortable with small talk. I flirt by being excited and chatty. If there is any prospect at all, he can't miss my interest. I look directly into the eyes, make jokes, and generally show interest. It's usually all one sided, the interest, that is, but I believe I'll find him one day.

Yep...and one risks being rejected a lot that way....it just sucks to put out and get nothing. Then ironically get accused of not putting out when you turn passive about it.

[loveguys72]

No risk no gain, Mike.

Yep...and one risks being rejected a lot that way....it just sucks to put out and get nothing. Then ironically get accused of not putting out when you turn passive about it.

[Nishin]

When-you-meet-someone-do-you-make-the-first-move?
Supposing this is irl: no

Do you make the first move in contacting someone?
Supposing this is online: yes

[cgymike]

When-you-meet-someone-do-you-make-the-first-move?
Supposing this is irl: no

Do you make the first move in contacting someone?
Supposing this is online: yes

Explain ,,,why the difference?

[xbuzzerx]

I don't ever make moves. I just don't like the thought of making a tit of myself. I'm far too self-conscious for my own good.

Take the cowardly hedged bet like I do.

Make the first move but tell them what you're about to do first.

[Tristan Chase]

Never i'm to shy but i do smile at them if they look my way

[Pianist]

Move towards what? Hooking up? Going on a date? Potential friendship?

[geloge]

When-you-meet-someone-do-you-make-the-first-move?
Supposing this is irl: no

Do you make the first move in contacting someone?
Supposing this is online: yes

I'm like this

Explain ,,,why the difference?

I don't know, it's easier for me interacting online. I'm very shy in real life.

[borg69unimatrix]

Rejection devistates me. I let them make the first move.

[HunterM]

I always make the first move.

[JockBoy87]

Before long term relationship I always was. Waiting sucks.

[illgetbi]

I take a jump to the left.

[refujiunderground]

nice guys finish last so hey...

[Rolyo85]

Yeah, they really don't

[Stoowii]

Seldom. I am very shy in real life... or I like to pretend to be. Usually it works because I get hit on before I make the first move. I have to REALLY be physically attracted to the guy to make the first move.

[Anders123]

I've no issues with complimenting people. If there's something about a person's character that appeals to me, I'll usually let them know. I think that tends to make it relatively obvious when my interest is more romantic than friendly, although I'm far too petrified of rejection to ever take it much further than that. I also don't like to be confrontational or invasive, and the last thing I want is to make another person feel uncomfortable with unwanted advances.

Being generally flirtatious and allowing them to make the first move if they're interested seems to be my method. The interest is generally known, but I don't have to risk putting myself out on the line, and they don't have to feel uncomfortable if the interest is not mutual.

I think it works okay.

[maxpowr9]

Seldom. I am very shy in real life... or I like to pretend to be. Usually it works because I get hit on before I make the first move. I have to REALLY be physically attracted to the guy to make the first move.

Same. The amusing part is, I don't consider myself to be physically attractive but who knows. I had some guy give me his number this weekend and I didn't even ask for it.

[xbuzzerx]

Same. The amusing part is, I don't consider myself to be physically attractive but who knows. I had some guy give me his number this weekend and I didn't even ask for it.

You're attractive. *nod*

[Nishin]

When-you-meet-someone-do-you-make-the-first-move?
Supposing this is irl: no

Do you make the first move in contacting someone?
Supposing this is online: yes

Explain ,,,why the difference?

There is no Geloge in my surrounding irl
I seldom hit the bars, when I do I'm with friends and am dedicate to keeping my attention to them, I can't read body language/attraction hints at all, I'm oblivious to hot guys I randomly meet irl as I automatically bar them as straight or taken, I'm shy in selected contexts, etc etc ...

Online is easier

[cgymike]

Rejection devistates me. I let them make the first move.

What would seven of nine say?

"Rejection is irrelevant...take your clothes off.."
LOL

[cgymike]

There is no Geloge in my surrounding irl
I seldom hit the bars, when I do I'm with friends and am dedicate to keeping my attention to them, I can't read body language/attraction hints at all, I'm oblivious to hot guys I randomly meet irl as I automatically bar them as straight or taken, I'm shy in selected contexts, etc etc ...

Online is easier

Easier for what though? Most online interactions don't lead to anything in real life. But yeah I would agree the contact is easier.

[dereperez]

About half and half. If I'm interested though, I'll usually let the person know (guy or girl), without being too forward. Usually a sly joke or wink or cheeky comment. If the interest is reciprocated...well, we'll take it from there.

[glasvegas]

I usually wait someone to make a first move, I am not really confident about how I look.

[Kien]

I usually wait someone to make a first move, I am not really confident about how I look.

You made the first move on me though

[Nishin]

Easier for what though? Most online interactions don't lead to anything in real life. But yeah I would agree the contact is easier.

Most don't, but the quality ones will !

[glasvegas]

You made the first move on me though

I couldn't help it, you're too hot.

[cgymike]

Most don't, but the quality ones will !

Yeah after about 10000000000 fakes....

[Scealle]

I always try to make the first move. Even though I am a really shy and awkward person.

[G-Lexington]

I have to have some sense of interest first. It doesn't have to blatant - the guy doesn't have to stand there looking me over rubbing his crotch (although that's welcome). But as long as the guy looked my way once, I don't mind making the first move.

Lex