If you jack off for a guy on cam and he fingers his asshole for you when you tell him to, (He's not paid for this or anything) - can he still be straight?
See here's the dillmema. We are BOTH turned on by him being a 'straight guy' that likes to get his dick sucked by other guys. Also we are both kinda closeted and if we both 'come out as gay' we think that will ruin our masculinity or something. Sex with him feels really hot and intense precisely because there's not that icky word attached to it. He has been my friend for *years* too btw before we started to be sexual with each other.
I know many of you will say I have internalized homophobia but come on you know what I'm talking about. It's like we think of each other as two hot straight guys and we suddenly want to have really deep passionate sex together. But as soon as one of the other thinks each other as 'gay' then there are some problems.
We're both tall, good looking, in shape guys with good bodies. He's a bit more masculine than me but we are both 'just regular guys.'
He CONSTANTLY asks me about his sexual orientation, wanting me to figure it out - but the truth is I'm still trying to figure out what I want. I had fantasies awhile ago about taking a girl and slamming her hard against the lockers, fucking the shit out of her. But I also want sex with this guy. I suppose you could say 'well you are just bi' but ugh honestly that's confusing to me! What person do I like better then? I'm so ambivalent about this. I don't want to be 'bi' I'd rather be gay or straight. It sounds kind of stupid for me personally.
Also when we have sex it feels amazing like it's really connected and shit. I don't know could I have the same thing with a woman? Man when after we have sex it just feels so natural and connective and cuddly and we talk about our feelings for about an hour afterwards before he has to go.
But if we come out as 'a gay couple' part of me worries that I will lose this intimacy. It's like how straight porn sex is hotter than gay porn sex because they make gay porn sex all politically correct and shit. I realize that isn't not 'right' 100% but...
I never really felt romantic or emotionally intimate with a girl. I think I can enjoy sex with one but I don't know about feeling 'connected' with one and all t hat. But instead of it being 'just me' this experience also feels universal. Is it wrong for me to think that way? It seems like girls are just really hot fucks and guys are hot fucks + emotional feelings. If I had a wife and kids it would feel like caving into society/moral standards rather than 'being myself' but when guys act stereotypically gay I want to throw up.
Women are just harder to emotionally connect with to me. They are like more 'emo' in ways sure but their sensitivity always feels kind of selfishly orientated... so I don't know how many man can want them. A woman is okay once in awhile you know, but living with them drains me.
So am I just a gay guy that's crazy in denial doesn't want to be gay but can't be straight- so I'm a nutjob?
But oh my god he is so damn hot. I just love sucking his "straight" cock.