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  1. #1

    Is he straight or bi or gay?



    If you jack off for a guy on cam and he fingers his asshole for you when you tell him to, (He's not paid for this or anything) - can he still be straight?

    See here's the dillmema. We are BOTH turned on by him being a 'straight guy' that likes to get his dick sucked by other guys. Also we are both kinda closeted and if we both 'come out as gay' we think that will ruin our masculinity or something. Sex with him feels really hot and intense precisely because there's not that icky word attached to it. He has been my friend for *years* too btw before we started to be sexual with each other.

    I know many of you will say I have internalized homophobia but come on you know what I'm talking about. It's like we think of each other as two hot straight guys and we suddenly want to have really deep passionate sex together. But as soon as one of the other thinks each other as 'gay' then there are some problems.

    We're both tall, good looking, in shape guys with good bodies. He's a bit more masculine than me but we are both 'just regular guys.'

    He CONSTANTLY asks me about his sexual orientation, wanting me to figure it out - but the truth is I'm still trying to figure out what I want. I had fantasies awhile ago about taking a girl and slamming her hard against the lockers, fucking the shit out of her. But I also want sex with this guy. I suppose you could say 'well you are just bi' but ugh honestly that's confusing to me! What person do I like better then? I'm so ambivalent about this. I don't want to be 'bi' I'd rather be gay or straight. It sounds kind of stupid for me personally.

    Also when we have sex it feels amazing like it's really connected and shit. I don't know could I have the same thing with a woman? Man when after we have sex it just feels so natural and connective and cuddly and we talk about our feelings for about an hour afterwards before he has to go.

    But if we come out as 'a gay couple' part of me worries that I will lose this intimacy. It's like how straight porn sex is hotter than gay porn sex because they make gay porn sex all politically correct and shit. I realize that isn't not 'right' 100% but...

    I never really felt romantic or emotionally intimate with a girl. I think I can enjoy sex with one but I don't know about feeling 'connected' with one and all t hat. But instead of it being 'just me' this experience also feels universal. Is it wrong for me to think that way? It seems like girls are just really hot fucks and guys are hot fucks + emotional feelings. If I had a wife and kids it would feel like caving into society/moral standards rather than 'being myself' but when guys act stereotypically gay I want to throw up.

    Women are just harder to emotionally connect with to me. They are like more 'emo' in ways sure but their sensitivity always feels kind of selfishly orientated... so I don't know how many man can want them. A woman is okay once in awhile you know, but living with them drains me.

    So am I just a gay guy that's crazy in denial doesn't want to be gay but can't be straight- so I'm a nutjob?

    But oh my god he is so damn hot. I just love sucking his "straight" cock.

  2. #2

    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    You guessed one thing right - if you have a problem with yourself being gay, that is (internalized) homophobia.

    I dont know about strict definition, but if you get aroused by erotic idea of a guy, you're gay or bi in my book.

    You dont need to get aroused "by stereotipical gay" whatever it is, but if you throw up when guys act like that, you are serious case of homophobia.

    And, yes, you're a nut job, at least until you become brave enough, and not keep being pussy like you are now, and admit yourself you are gay or bi.

    And the way youre decribing how you like sucking cock, it's certainly screamin gay gay gay (stereotypically).

  3. #3

    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    I phrased that poorly. Not throw up. I just sense the 'charge' other people have about heterosexuality very strongly.

  4. #4
    Sex God Str8Top14701's Avatar
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    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    Don't label yourself. There's different kinds of bi, and different degrees of everything. How you identify yourself is not a label. There's a woman that's well known for being a lesbian and feminist activist, but she's married and in love her husband (has kids too), but she identifies herself as a lesbian. Sometimes it's about who it is, not what it is.

    There's also a lot of straight guys that can compartmentalize their sexuality, which is basically making them situational bisexuals. But, as you say about yourselves, being "straight" makes it a bigger turn-on for you both. So stop worrying, stop labeling things and yourselves, and have fun.

  5. #5

    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    I am in agreement with str8top.

    If you've listed your orientation in your profile here as gay, it would seem you have come to some acceptance of it to yourself at least. But before you bash your head against a brick wall or jump off a bridge or something, you'd be surprised how normal and natural it is to experience what it is your feeling. Myself, personally, would not have anal sex with a dude, I've tried it a couple of times and can't seem to enjoy it. Probably childhood trauma or some shit, who knows, my ass is exit only though.

    So your issue seems to be hung up on the social stigma of being labeled as gay when you don't identify as gay or what society's stereotypical characteristics, expectations and pre-disposed behavioral traits of being gay would entail. Congratulations you now know what a huge majority of "straight" guys endure when all they really want is some closeness and intimacy with another dude without it being some earth shattering life-changing declaration of homosexuality; a confession to forever change the path of your life, forcing you to never look back and never be allowed to get with a woman ever again, being ejected from the "just one of the 'straight' guys" club etc.. (feel free to stop me anytime if I am wrong.)

    But dude, your having anal sex with another guy, I think it's pretty safe to say whether you say it or not, or he says it or not, you both are definitely not 100% straight. (ppssstt, nothing wrong with that)

    In my opinion, I wouldn't even worry about trying to put a label on it as gay, straight, bi or whatever. Just enjoy it for what it is. Something special you share with this dude that only you and he know about. Doesn't mean you can't still be with chicks or be your usual masculine self. More often than not people tend to confuse sexuality as an identity and being straight as the only sexual identity that equals masculinity. Thankfully, this is far from reality. There are plenty of openly gay dudes and some women for that matter that I have known who were more masculine than many straight dudes i've known. What you do in your bedroom or whom you do it with should not be the ultimate defining factor in your personality, identity or your own masculinity.

    If at all possible see if you can sort out what you consider to be masculine about yourself and reflect on what you consider to be masculine in other men and try to separate that from sex.

    And if part of the turn on for both of you is being straight, congratulations, you're normal, you''re celebrating part of what it is that makes you feel masculine, positive reinforcement?

    Think of it this way, how many women can mess around with each other, especially when drunk and still consider themselves completely straight, still married to their hubbies, still dating their boyfriends, they don't even bat an eye (unless they're trying to flick a pube from their eyelash.)

    I like to fuck a grapefruit every once in a while and then eat the mess that's left after I jizz all up inside it, I'd like someone too tell me where that falls on the Kinsey scale, do they issue official fruitsexual cards somewhere?

    embrace it as just one aspect of your sex life that is just all part of being a regular guy.
    get a dude drunk and horny enough and he'll probably bang anything, doesn't mean you have to come out as gay and change who you are...

    my long-winded 2 cents anyway.
    Last edited by ElmosToe; January 20th, 2013 at 03:17 PM.

  6. #6
    Slut spunk-junky's Avatar
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    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    ElmosToe, you are hilarious! Where do you get your grapefruit?

  7. #7

    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    Quote Originally Posted by spunk-junky View Post
    ElmosToe, you are hilarious! Where do you get your grapefruit?
    Whole Foods, I prefer organic.

  8. #8
    Joe06877
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    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    Quote Originally Posted by ElmosToe View Post
    Whole Foods, I prefer organic.
    Shouldn't that be hole foods?

  9. #9

    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    You and your friend are "gay bisexuals" and I'm using the term bisexual loosely in your case. You guys sexually like men a way lot more than women.

    Or if we use the controversial Kinsey scale, I would rate you as: " 5 -- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual. "

    Usually closeted guys who have issues accepting their homosexuality will use their incidental heterosexual experience to dismiss or deny their homosexual orientation.

    I hope you guys eventually get comfortable in your own skin and stop over thinking your sexual orientation. It's okay to be gay.

  10. #10
    Sex God Str8Top14701's Avatar
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    Re: Is he straight or bi or gay?

    Sometimes it's about who it is, not what they are. Sometimes things just click with someone. But labels are a huge weight hanging over you, and waiting to drag you down at the same time. How many guys on on here have said they're straight, "but this one guy..."?
    It seems that you two are pulling your own walls down a brick at a time; not just between yourselves, but between you both (as a couple) and at least part of your worlds.

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