January 20th, 2013, 01:32 AM
I've never had a crush...
Hi everyone. This is my first post here and I was wondering if you guys could help with a problem.
I'm 20, a junior in college, about a 7.5 I suppose (an 8 on a good day haha), pretty normal overall. I'm out but I don't usually tell people until I feel like I can throw them a fair distance (metaphorically) or unless it comes up in conversation naturally.
So, I've noticed in the past few days that I've never had like a crush on anyone nor have I had the desire to be with anyone romantically. And even when there's a sexual attraction, that, too, seems to wane rather quickly. Is there something wrong? Literally everyone I know has had a crush on someone at someone at some point in their life. I've had two (unfruitful) relations both of which I never saw myself in and ended thus. And now I'm talking to this guy who's really nice and smart, but I think the rapid progression of the...relationship (?) has turned me off and I'm not as eager to correspond with him as before (he lives a good distance away).
I don't know if I've clearly defined an issue/problem here, but if you could make heads or tails out of this and help me, I'm willing to compensate lavishly with blowjobs (haha). But in all seriousness, thanks.
January 20th, 2013, 06:32 AM
nerd of prey
Re: I've never had a crush...
couple of random thoughts:
- there could be a medical issue. testosterone levels and such. ask a doctor.
- you could have some mental hang-ups. fear of being visibly gay? fear of intimacy? havent figured out your own sexuality or gender-identity yet? do some soul-searching.
- you could be asexual. do you masturbate? do you have sexual fantasies? i would say that if the answers are yes and yes, then youre not asexual... but then again, there are people who masturbate and still self-identify as asexual...
you seem to be kinda relaxed and level-headed about this, so im pretty sure youre gonna be fine. explore yourself, explore your feelings and sexuality, and youll eventually find something that makes you happy. and seriously, go see a doctor. best of luck!
January 20th, 2013, 12:28 PM
Medical? Like low testosterone?
Originally Posted by hylas
Being visibly gay isn't a problem for me but the fear of intimacy sounds a little familiar.
Yeah, I masturbate a lot actually, haha. Lately more to straight porn, but also gay porn, too.
January 20th, 2013, 03:25 PM
Re: I've never had a crush...
A crush is an intense emotional interest in another person that tends to be all-consuming but short-lived, esp if the object of your affection reciprocates your interest. So, it seems to me you have indeed had crushes. Have your other two relationships been like the one that's winding down now--at a distance? I'm thinking you do indeed have a fear of intimacy and it's leading you to make yourself emotionally unavailable. You should probably explore this further with a qualified therapist who can help you understand the root of it. Your student health center should be able to provide you resources and references.
Good luck to you!