Straigt Male freinds or Gay Male Friends?

[Medusa]

How many gay guys on here have straight male friend that know that you are gay? Next question: Does a gay guy want straight male friends, or Gay male friends? And is it important for a gay guy to have a straight males friend?


BTW. I have notice that two gay males gloat about having straight male friends, and they basically treat him like the average straight male friend.But that has nothing to do with you guys,well some of you.

[LeicsDom]

I have both

[PreTTy PeTe]

my best friend is straight and have been friends since we were kids in junior high.

35 years ago.

i don't think anybody could have have a better friend and yea he knows all about me and I know all about him.

[jensu846]

all of my friends are straight males and yes they know Im gay. I live in a small town so not many out gay guys, but I think it would be fun to have a group of gay guys as my main friends.. and not being the only gay guy in the group. When I see a group of gay friends on TV or some of my old gay friends that have moved away and post pics on facebook of all their gay friends parties and stuff, it gets me a little sad and envious.

[Rolyo85]

I have a ton of each, but most of my closest friends are straight males. I am still newish to being out (only 2.5 years), so I am still getting the hang of being friends with gay guys without having sex with them.

One thing I suck at, is being close friends with girls. I have no idea how so many gay guys manage that. Not that I have anything against girls, and I certainly have a lot of she-friends, but with literally one exception, I can never get really close to a girl, to the point of calling her a best friend.

Oh, for the record, I am so out that nobody can spend more than half an hour with me without finding out I'm gay. I manage to snugly tuck it in the conversation ^_^

[xbuzzerx]

How many gay guys on here have straight male friend that know that you are gay? Next question: Does a gay guy want straight male friends, or Gay male friends? And is it important for a gay guy to have a straight males friend?


BTW. I have notice that two gay males gloat about having straight male friends, and they basically treat him like the average straight male friend.But that has nothing to do with you guys,well some of you.

Mostly straight and they all know.

[Laufey]

I like to have all types of friends.

Except lesbians of course.

[Rolyo85]

Why "of course"? Two of my closest friends in Bloomington were a lesbian couple. It's the purest form of friendship that can exist, I believe.

[MissAnne]

Why "of course"? Two of my closest friends in Bloomington were a lesbian couple. It's the purest form of friendship that can exist, I believe.

I know. I was getting ready to say that as well. Lesbians are great. Ive known some really sweet lesbians.

[Rolyo85]

I gotta admit that butch lesbians tend to scare me a bit. The only time I've ever felt too gay to sing karaoke was in the karaoke nights at the Bloomington gay bar, which somehow was unofficially "dyke night", and the amount of trucker rock that was being sung just overpowered my fledgeling musical theater aspirations...

But other than that, lesbians make for good, if strange friends.

[xbuzzerx]

I know. I was getting ready to say that as well. Lesbians are great. Ive known some really sweet lesbians.

I'm afraid I might catch gay from them, like Ellen.

[borg69unimatrix]

Lesbians scare me too. Around here, they look like the Brawny Man, including the flannel shirt and facial hair.
The few times I've seen a fight break out in a gay bar, the lesbians start it, and any time a KD LANG song came on, it would sound like a heard of water buffalo as they stampede to the dance floor.

I've had a few "Fag Hags" in my life. Some of them were my best friends. Nowdays I prefer to just hang with gay male friends in my social life. I really don't have much in common with the straight guys at work who only seem interested in Hunting, Fishing, Drinking beer until they puke and pass out, and staring at boobies.

[justdra]

I have straight friends I hang out with on the regular. I'm friends with my neighbor and his wife and most nights we sit up watching tv or movies because she goes to bed early. She is very "insecure" about him going out alone but she doesn't mind if we hang out. I have another straight friend who I try to see a couple of times a month but when I visit,his girlfriend says "your boyfriend" is here, lol. He and I usually go shopping or out to dinner. He is home with the kid when he isn't working so when he gets time, we high tail it out of town. We have invited her but she never wants to go. I also have another couple who I was the first to tell about her being pregnant. I was the first outside of their parents they told, I guess because I see them a lot and she couldn't hide it for long. I think their siblings got ticked because I knew before them...but they should learn to return phone calls in a timely manner lol. I also have gay friends but I hang out less and less with them, mainly because everyone of them seem to smoke constantly and whenever I leave them, I have to go home and change clothes, lol, and I hate doing laundry. I can't think of a gay friend in my 'circle' that doesn't smoke now that I think of it. The funny thing is they wont smoke inside so if I visit, we are sitting outside in the freezing cold or scorching heat, lol.

[thatgirl]

I like to have all types of friends.

Except lesbians of course.

lol, Welp.

Anyway, I'm not sure if gay men generally get along better with lesbians or straight women.

The rarest friendship combo has to be straight men and lesbians. It just seems so uncommon to me, maybe I'm wrong. Straight men and gay men as friends doesn't seem that uncommon.

[justdra]

I tend to be scared of lesbians, lol. I use to be friends with some via my other gay friends but I don't hang with any of them on my own. The few that I know are extremes, either they are quiet and docile of they are butch and have no sense of humor AT ALL, lol. I will say I have a Senior Manage at work and she is butch, and it cracks me up to see my supervisor turn to jelly when she walks in the room. I have people walking up to me telling me how he just start shaking when she is around lol.

[xbuzzerx]

lol, Welp.

Anyway, I'm not sure if gay men generally get along better with lesbians or straight women.

The rarest friendship combo has to be straight men and lesbians. It just seems so uncommon to me, maybe I'm wrong. Straight men and gay men as friends doesn't seem that uncommon.

thatgirl, I don't know if it's... self-perpetuating cycle, vicious cycle, rumor, prejudice, urban legend, bias or whatever else but...

I can tell you I've heard MANY times through my life.... "lesbians don't get along with guys" or "Lesbians don't like guys" or "lesbians are kinda hostile/defensive around guys."

I've heard that every which way from every gender and orientation so many times I couldn't count it. I don't know if it becomes true because people believe it, or it's true because there's some element of truth to it. But I definitely see what you see. Lesbians and men are pretty rarely friends.

[Laufey]

It's kinda strange because homosexuality strengthens our friendship with women while it has the opposite effects on men and lesbians.

I don't have a problem with lesbians they are just the gender-sexuality group I relate to the least (even with the whole LGBT connection).

[G-Lexington]

Huh?

I have cool male friends. And cool female friends. Some are straight, some are gay, some are bisexual. And yes, I have lesbian friends. No transgender friends in real life, although I've befriended a few on facebook.

Lex

[TheSpectatingLoner]

My two closest friends are straight males. Love them both.

I had to come out to one of them. The other knew me well after I was out. My sexuality is a non-factor in our friendships. They would be the first to hook me up with a guy if they suspected I'd be interested. Both are artists with plenty of gay friends. Not an issue.

I have a close lesbian friend, but I struggle being close friends with gay men. Perhaps I need that assurance that nothing can ever happen to make things work.

[MissAnne]

Ive never had a problem with lesbians whether they were butch or femme. My mom had a femme lesbian friend when I was growing up and that woman loved butches. There was always a new butch around. They may have looked scary but they were all so sweet. Actually the only girlfriend that she had that I didn't like was a femme. Ive also worked with a number of nice butch girls. The Black community has a lot of "scary" butches or "studs". Its mostly just a defense mechanism. I rarely see a femme with another femme. I usually like femme girls but every once in a while ...a soft butch will catch my eye.

[youfiad]

I actually don't know if I have any gay friends. I know gay people, but we aren't really close. It's not that I prefer straight people, it's that straight people tend to have the personality that I enjoy. That isn't to say that the people that I call straight are indeed straight but rather that they say they're straight or haven't told me that they're gay.

(Sort of a loaded question)

[stutter032]

Both. But straight male friends are my closest friends lately. Back In HS i was part of a group and tended to stick with the girls for the most part. Once i went off to college i just seemed to fit in with the guys better. They all know I'm gay and make enlightenment of it, but that's what makes it so great and real. And handy when i can't do certin things. I'm about to going for my masters in architecture but i can never change a windshield wiper.. (don't judge me) but i think its good to be well rounded with your friends. Pick the people that you can be your self and they can be there's. We go to the gym or pool, and when were in the locker room they change in the same room and shower with me and such..

[attallaborn]

Personally, I tend to be very resentful of straight people in general. The public displays of affection, the FB engagement and wedding pics and simply the flood of straight images in mainstream media just remind me that they have access to personal happiness and I DONT.

Being said, to avoid this, I tend to only surround myself with other gay people. I don't do this because I dislike straight people but only as a way to feel accepted and appreciated by people who understand what it's like not to be able to go to the movies and watch a gay oriented film with a budget over $500,000.00

All of this has happened recently though. I have former straight male friends but now will only BEFRIEND gay males and sometimes straight women. Lesbians (like a poster mentioned earlier) and I do not mix. I do not know why but I just have never been able to relate to them. Straight male friends come with a lot of double standards and I choose NOT to have that in my life. It's hard to find gay males to be friend with because they are either SUPER GAY (not really my style) or just want to sleep with you.. Trust, stick with the gays though.

[-Callum-]

I have one lesbian friend. Best one is a straight guy. No gay or bisexual men. Rest are all heterosexual. I am 'out'.

Not that I care...if my sexuality defined my friendships I certainly wouldn't get very far with them.

[xbuzzerx]

Personally, I tend to be very resentful of straight people in general. The public displays of affection, the FB engagement and wedding pics and simply the flood of straight images in mainstream media just remind me that they have access to personal happiness and I DONT.

I have trouble with this statement. Do you define personal happiness as being equivalent to a legal document?

[eastofeden]

Both...but right now I have more straight male friends and they all know I am gay. I used to have almost all gay male friends...but they are all gone so I just ended up having more straight male friends.

[refujiunderground]

i don't care. personality over everything first.

[G-Lexington]

Personally, I tend to be very resentful of straight people in general. The public displays of affection, the FB engagement and wedding pics and simply the flood of straight images in mainstream media just remind me that they have access to personal happiness and I DONT.

Being said, to avoid this, I tend to only surround myself with other gay people. I don't do this because I dislike straight people but only as a way to feel accepted and appreciated by people who understand what it's like not to be able to go to the movies and watch a gay oriented film with a budget over $500,000.00

All of this has happened recently though. I have former straight male friends but now will only BEFRIEND gay males and sometimes straight women. Lesbians (like a poster mentioned earlier) and I do not mix. I do not know why but I just have never been able to relate to them. Straight male friends come with a lot of double standards and I choose NOT to have that in my life. It's hard to find gay males to be friend with because they are either SUPER GAY (not really my style) or just want to sleep with you.. Trust, stick with the gays though.

So you resent straight people, don't mix with lesbians, and gay guys are either super gay or want to fuck you.

You must be a lot of fun.

Lex

[vacancy3]

every time i get a straight male friend i get drunk and make a pass and fuck it up

[G-Lexington]

every time i get a straight male friend i get drunk and make a pass and fuck it up

Because then they realize they're actually gay?

Lex

[BFizzle]

I'm friends with a couple of straight boyz. I've found that I cannot be friends with a ghey. I've tried and it just never works. They either want more or we clash. Unless they were my spiritual equal, someone like DigitalFudge for example, but we rarer than a legendary Pokémon.

I've recently become friends with a lesbian and she is very ghey. To the point where that's all she talks about. I can't. Homosexuals out here doin' the most.

Personally, I tend to be very resentful of straight people in general. The public displays of affection, the FB engagement and wedding pics and simply the flood of straight images in mainstream media just remind me that they have access to personal happiness and I DONT.

Being said, to avoid this, I tend to only surround myself with other gay people. I don't do this because I dislike straight people but only as a way to feel accepted and appreciated by people who understand what it's like not to be able to go to the movies and watch a gay oriented film with a budget over $500,000.00

WAIT.

Are you my lesbian friend?

[Medusa]

Personally, I tend to be very resentful of straight people in general. The public displays of affection, the FB engagement and wedding pics and simply the flood of straight images in mainstream media just remind me that they have access to personal happiness and I DONT.

Being said, to avoid this, I tend to only surround myself with other gay people. I don't do this because I dislike straight people but only as a way to feel accepted and appreciated by people who understand what it's like not to be able to go to the movies and watch a gay oriented film with a budget over $500,000.00

All of this has happened recently though. I have former straight male friends but now will only BEFRIEND gay males and sometimes straight women. Lesbians (like a poster mentioned earlier) and I do not mix. I do not know why but I just have never been able to relate to them. Straight male friends come with a lot of double standards and I choose NOT to have that in my life. It's hard to find gay males to be friend with because they are either SUPER GAY (not really my style) or just want to sleep with you.. Trust, stick with the gays though.

Dude you sound like a crazy person. And if have watched tv lately you would know that the LOGO channel caters to gay people (well of course they would), but you resenting straight people, when straight have done nothing to you personally sounds like a serious problem. Also keep in mind that PDA, should not done among all orientations.

[Medusa]

I'm friends with a couple of straight boyz. I've found that I cannot be friends with a ghey. I've tried and it just never works. They either want more or we clash. Unless they were my spiritual equal, someone like DigitalFudge for example, but we rarer than a legendary Pokémon.

I've recently become friends with a lesbian and she is very ghey. To the point where that's all she talks about. I can't. Homosexuals out here doin' the most.



WAIT.

Are you my lesbian friend?

Your avatar is killing me. What girl wants to suck a random guys dick anyway is beyond me.

[Scealle]

I have a lot of straight male friends back in high school who knows I am gay. But they always make fun of me and insult me so we are not particularly close.

When I reach college I met a lot of bisexuals and become friends with them mostly female. I am open to all my male straight friends. A few that I am really close with and they are fun-open minded people.

It's kinda unbelievable that all of them tell me I am the only gay guy they know. I really wish I had gay friends in real life. The closest to a gay friend is a bi guy who ended up playing with my feelings and it ended pretty badly. I have another two bi (but more to guys) guy friends but they don't seem to be bothered to talk to me or get to know me at all even though we are in the same school.

I am pretty sure there are a few gay guys in my college but I have no idea who they are. he few seniors that are gay have graduated

[Blueboy82]

Rolyo85,


Omg, I am exactly like you. I tend to get along and relate better with people of my own gender.

When I was in school, my closest best friends were all guys. During workplace, I get along better with my male colleagues.


I have nothing against women,..... I just feel more at ease and more comfortable being myself surrounded by people of my own gender.


I think it's more of a myth that gay men have a lot of female friends.

[quasar]

About 90% of my friends are straight - mainly because most of the gay guys that are on the scene are whiny, effeminate drama queens which I have no time for on a regular basis. Bit like a screaming child really, I can put up with it for so long, but after a while it becomes irritating.

[Huntneo(PT)]

Most of my closest friends have been straight females, and the occasional gay guys here and there.

It's unfortunate, but I've yet to have any serious straight male friend. I would like to though...as it would be different, allow me to learn a bit about them and myself, etc. I would welcome such a change of pace. Perhaps one day...

Dude you sound like a crazy person. And if have watched tv lately you would know that the LOGO channel caters to gay people (well of course they would), but you resenting straight people, when straight have done nothing to you personally sounds like a serious problem. Also keep in mind that PDA, should not done among all orientations.

Eh...I wouldn't go as far as to call him crazy.

Perhaps he didn't quite word things the way one would like, but I understand where he's coming from. While I have no ill feelings towards heterosexuals...there are still some things to this day that make me feel a pinch of resentment.

yes...the gays are more in the spotlight these days, but one must remember--many of us spend a great portion of our lives (especially youth) being made to feel inferior, wrong, being told what we shouldn't do/can't do, etc. etc. Being asked why aren't we like the straight guys...

the list goes on.

It can cause an aversion to 'in your face' heterosexuality sometimes. That's why when people have the nerve to talk about being beat over the head about homosexuality, (as a gay male) I find it very offensive and insensitive. Many of us have been forced to take a back seat our entire lives. Please let us have our moment.

[Blueboy82]

Unfortunately, most of my friends are Straight. I wish I had more gay friends.


I can't talk about "Boys" or "Cute guys" or any gay stuffs/topics when I'm with my Straight male friends.

And if any of my Straight male friends talk about "girls", I will certainly look very bored with no interest.

[The Fly]

My closest friend is a straight guy. We've been friends since '84. As a group, my friends are fairly diverse. Straight men, Gay men, 1 tranny (male to female ) and a bunch of lesbians. No straight girls though. Every straight women I've ever met that seeks the company of gay men, has an ultreior motive, it's not just friendship.
I may be wrong, but every time I see a straight woman with a gay man, I assume she wants to "show him what he's missing" or the gay guy is just an accessorie. They will often refer to thier gay friend as "My Gay", like he's a belt or something. I've also heard straight women say stuff like "I can be open with my gay friends, it's different with "real" men"....WTF.

[Blueboy82]

My closest friend is a straight guy. We've been friends since '84. As a group, my friends are fairly diverse. Straight men, Gay men, 1 tranny (male to female ) and a bunch of lesbians. No straight girls though. Every straight women I've ever met that seeks the company of gay men, has an ultreior motive, it's not just friendship.
I may be wrong, but every time I see a straight woman with a gay man, I assume she wants to "show him what he's missing" or the gay guy is just an accessorie. They will often refer to thier gay friend as "My Gay", like he's a belt or something. I've also heard straight women say stuff like "I can be open with my gay friends, it's different with "real" men"....WTF.

I kinda get where you're coming from.

And I just want to add on, some straight women resents gay men.

Some of my female straight friends, upon finding out I'm gay......really resents me.

And this is probably one of the reasons why I don't have any close straight female friends.

[stutter032]

love how this thread is turning from straight friends to female friends also. I feel comfortable with straight guys and girls. I like hanging out with the straight guys more, as others had said it just seems i get along better with people of my own gender. I have very close friends who are girls but we don't seem to hang out near as much as my guy friends. I know at work and in school I'm much more mischievous with female co works and find them easier to work with. We get the job or project done, all while having lots of fun. When I'm working with males there always seem to be like a alpha male battle or butt heads way to much, and its much more of just get it done, not have a plan for anything. But i always get along with the guys better if were all working individual or separate groups.

[Laufey]

Why would straight women resent gay men?

On the work thing: Sure males can have their alpha moments but it's nothing compared to the drama and personal attacks which come from women.

I've been working for a political party for few months now in a mixed gender group and honestly we often get stuck on the same topic much longer than needed because of female drama. The men are much more laid back and less personal about things.

[MissAnne]

[QUOTE=The Fly;8644270] 1 tranny (male to female )[/ QUOTE]

I hope that you dont call your trans friend that.

[MissAnne]

Fly, I hope that you dont call your trans friend "Tranny".

Oops Double Post.

[Scealle]

love how this thread is turning from straight friends to female friends also. I feel comfortable with straight guys and girls. I like hanging out with the straight guys more, as others had said it just seems i get along better with people of my own gender. I have very close friends who are girls but we don't seem to hang out near as much as my guy friends. I know at work and in school I'm much more mischievous with female co works and find them easier to work with. We get the job or project done, all while having lots of fun. When I'm working with males there always seem to be like a alpha male battle or butt heads way to much, and its much more of just get it done, not have a plan for anything. But i always get along with the guys better if were all working individual or separate groups.

This is kinda true. Based on my experiences, my group project assignments with all girls seem to be very smooth sailing. The ones with the all guys team are what's killing me. There's always something bad going to happen. Either some of them are lazy asses, spent too much time with their girlfriends or some of the other members argue with each other over who and what's right. Same thing I have seen on other groups. All girls team always finishes their project faster than all boys team.

[MissAnne]

Either some of them are lazy asses, spent too much time with their girlfriends :

LOL. This reminds me of a project that I had in college. It was a 4 person group. 2 girls, 2 guys. Me and the other girl worked our asses off and had almost our entire half of the project done. We expected atleast that much from the guys. We met the day before the presentation just to "re-group" and see what eachother had. One guy didn't have anything and the other dude had a blank powerpoint with no color, no pictures, no citation and just a couple of words that were copied from a website. I looked at him like "WTF Man ?".

He had this big ass hickie on his neck too. I didn't say anything but I was thinking "You should have spent less time hooking up and more time on our project".

[Scealle]

LOL. This reminds me of a project that I had in college. It was a 4 person group. 2 girls, 2 guys. Me and the other girl worked our asses off and had almost our entire half of the project done. We expected atleast that much from the guys. We met the day before the presentation just to "re-group" and see what eachother had. One guy didn't have anything and the other dude had a blank powerpoint with no color, no pictures, no citation and just a couple of words that were copied from a website. I looked at him like "WTF Man ?".

He had this big ass hickie on his neck too. I didn't say anything but I was thinking "You should have spent less time hooking up and more time on our project".

I understand how you feel. One of the guy in my previous short film group would always asked to leave halfway throughout shooting so he could spent the rest of the day with his girlfriend. We are all like That one day before the final film screening he's at his girlfeind's place and he asked us if he could be excused

[MissAnne]

I understand how you feel. One of the guy in my previous short film group would always asked to leave halfway throughout shooting so he could spent the rest of the day with his girlfriend. We are all like That one day before the final film screening he's at his girlfeind's place and he asked us if he could be excused

Its crazy. Dont you just love group projects

[CupidBoy]

I'd love friends of all kinds. As long as they accept me, it doesn't matter what they look like or what they are attracted to.

[Scealle]

Its crazy. Dont you just love group projects

Yes I do I am amazed at myself that I am still standing. It is quite near impossible to solo do a project as heavy as film though. You have to extremely dedicated or extremely geniusly talented to work solo. I am wondering what if a group of Gays work together though. I am pretty sure it would be fun and the job can still be done.