Hey! I'm in USA, and my new boyfriend lives in Mexico. He works long hours, and helps care for a bedridden relative in the evenings. We've only spent time together twice in the last few months, and it comes with lots of planning and advance notice.
I'm planning a surprise visit to see him for Valentine's Day week. I love the idea of showing up unexpected in another country, last minute, to share this special day with him... But I am not sure if it will be a wonderful surprise, or just stressful and inconvenient.
The plan: Have his friends invite him to lunch or a "guys night out" on the day I arrive, to get him to a certain place at a certain time. He turns a corner and sees me, happy tears and hugs ensue, followed by a wonderful surprise week together. While he's at work, I get to explore the city. When he's needed at home, I can go with him, or take bubble baths in the hotel until he's free.
The downside: It might be hard for him to schedule free time with me, with no notice. What if he declines his friends' invite, ruining the surprise? Or what if he happens to be swamped with work that week, or his family isn't able to help out much at home? Will he feel guilty and obligated to spend all his time with me, or stressed/distracted at work knowing I'm waiting to see him each evening?
Looking for some advice... Is the romantic scurry to change plans and make time worth that wonderful moment when I surprise him in person? Or is it better to take the wind out of the sails and tell him NOW that I will get to see him in a month? Will our flowers, dinners, long walks and cuddling be as romantic if it's all planned out in advance?