I'll try to make this short(failed I think..)
So I've been talking to this guy(we'll call him John) for 2 years or so. I really like him, he really likes me, we both know it. I live in Maryland, he lives in New York(about 4 and a half hours away). We visit each other often(once or twice a month).
John is insecure, he admits that. He sometimes gets paranoid when I'm out with my friends. Of course, I like him and am able to look past it and I try to help him with it too. When I'm out, he jokingly asks questions like "Are you touching other guys inappropriately!?" or "Whose dick are you sucking!?" and stuff like that. But I know it's not so jokingly, as they are questions just to get reassurance that I'm not cheating on him. I sometimes get annoyed, but I just deal with it anyways.
We haven't been too happy with each other recently and here's why:
So a couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out with some local friends. John knows I'm hanging out with them, he's fine with it. He texts me, I text him back two or three times. He responds and I don't respond till I'm done hanging out(which is 5 hours later). He gets really upset because it took me 5 hours to respond to him.
But I feel really rude(and sometimes lame) when I text while I'm hanging out with other people. I came there to spend time with them, not to be hooked on my phone. I'll text when I get the chance and when it's least rude to do so, like if someone goes to the bathroom or leaves the room for some reason.
Fast forward to a week ago, John came down to visit me. We had lunch, then went bowling. John was up to bowl, so I open my phone and text my friend once and he gets all angry. The rest of the day is completely fine.
Another issue he has with me is the time I arrive home. When I hang out with John(when he visits me), I usually leave at 10:45(30 minute drive home). I do live with my parents, so I don't want to be out all night. Yesterday, I went to the sportsplex to play volleyball and I told him that it ended at 11:30 and he got all mad, saying I only stay out late when it's not with him. But it's only a 45 minute difference.
Anyways, with both these issues, he says that I treat him differently than I do with my friends. He says there's a double standard and that I place value time with my friends more than I value time with him. But I think this is completely ridiculous and I always get upset with his self-pitying attitude, saying "Oh I'm not as important as your friends or volleyball" or stuff like that. It seems like he's always hanging something over my head or holding a grudge against me, and I'm not happy with it.
So my question is am I wrong? Am I being insensitive or is he just being irrational? I honestly believe I've done nothing wrong, yet I'm always being put on the defense because he's always accusing me of valuing others/things more than him or cheating on him. So if I am doing something wrong, please do tell. I'd rather not let a 2 year "thing" go to shit because of my faults. Thanks