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  1. #1
    On the Prowl Fluxios's Avatar
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    Pissed at some guy and stressed about it

    So this happened last night. I was hanging out with some friends from college and the when we had to go to sleep, the only one spot left for me was beside a guy I know to be gay (not openly gay). Then he suddenly started slipping his hand in my boxers and started stroking me, touching me all over. The problem is that I don't find him attractive, so I didn't join his game. I felt that if I started playing with him he would think that I like him and that would give him the wrong message.
    When I was done I flipped over facing the bed. I just wanted to fall asleep again so I could forget what happened, but he put his hand over me like 2 or 3 more times along the night. I felt very nervous about the whole situation. I had only shared my intimacy with one other guy (which I found appealing, as opposed this guy), and this second time with this guy was kind of not what I expected to be my second encounter. I kind of felt like a sex toy, like I had been raped

    Then we had a conversation over Facebook about why I didn't follow him. He sort of understood that it was my decision to let someone to share my intimacy with, but that didn't leave him satisfied. He wants to talk more about "something else", which you might expect to be related to the issue. I wish to god that he's not declaring to me when we have that conversation. Now I'm kind of pissed at him for not leaving me alone and I'm stressed about the whole situation. GOD WHY?!

  2. #2
    Impish and Mercurial Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Pissed at some guy and stressed about it

    Um, two things:

    1. If you didn't want him to touch you, you should have taken his hand off of your dick instead of letting him finish you off. The only one you should be pissed at is yourself. You gave him permission by not stopping him.

    2. "sharing your intimacy" sounds extremely weird to me. What you have imagined should be based on reality. It's your decision, not something that just "happens".

    Why stress over this? You don't like the guy, you let him jerk you off, now it's awkward. Big deal, happens all the time. Case closed, move on.
    Last edited by Rolyo85; January 12th, 2013 at 07:52 PM.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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  3. #3
    On the Prowl Fluxios's Avatar
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    Re: Pissed at some guy and stressed about it

    I let him because I have only had some sort of encounter with someone 1 other time only, and I felt in one hand that this was going to be a moment to spend with another guy, since I hadn't been with anyone else in like 2 years. The problem to me is that making something like that, means to me that you like the other guy. Maybe that's my problem.

    And the reason why this stresses me is that I've always had allies, not enemies, and the fact that this guy might get angry at me or something kind of stressed me. I know I'm being way too complex on the matter, I haven't been on a relationship and I don't want anything with this guy, nor I want us to become enemies.

  4. #4
    sapphire
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    Re: Pissed at some guy and stressed about it

    You have the right to be angry with him. He touched you and you didn't want him to do that. You didn't do anything to stop him either though so you are at fault also. You probably did like it to some extent though and that's why you didn't stop him and that's probably why you're overthinking it now. You may not be into his looks but you may like him for his personality.

    Whatever the issue is, you're saying you didn't like that he touched you. Tell him that you didn't like it and that you don't want him to do it again. I highly doubt he will become an enemy or go crazy on you for saying it because deep down, he knows he wasn't supposed to do that in the first place.

  5. #5
    On the Prowl Fluxios's Avatar
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    Re: Pissed at some guy and stressed about it

    sapphire. Told him so, but I think he's not satisfied with my answer. Now that he made his step, he's going to do everything to go on and convince me to do it again or something. I think he likes me from quite some time ago and he's going to tell me about it in the near future. Unfortunately I'll have to say no. I know I have the power to make things end up my way, but I'm afraid to break a bond (friendship, I mean). I guess we'll have to see how things end up.

  6. #6
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Pissed at some guy and stressed about it

    Own your likes, dislikes, successes and failures. Worrying about making enemies will only make you passive and co-dependent. It's ok to say no. Don't allow yourself to be blackmailed into doing things you don't want to do.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  7. #7
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: Pissed at some guy and stressed about it

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluxios View Post
    ...Unfortunately I'll have to say no. I know I have the power to make things end up my way, but I'm afraid to break a bond (friendship, I mean). I guess we'll have to see how things end up.
    There's nothing unfortunate about it.

    Things happen when people interact (especially when people have been drinking). However, if someone makes a pass at you and you are not interested, you say, "No". If they persist, you make it clear that there's not going to be any negotiation and "No" means "No".

    He this guy cannot accept "No", then not only is he not your friend, he's also someone who doesn't respect the wishes of another person. That's little more than a molester or pervert and just a few steps short of criminal.
    JUB's full list of smilies can be found here.

  8. #8
    On the Prowl Fluxios's Avatar
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    Re: Pissed at some guy and stressed about it

    Thank you all. Specially Karabulut for your last paragraph. I hope everything's gonna be alright

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