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Thread: big decision of my life

      
   
  1. #1
    Virgin ziggystardust1985's Avatar
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    big decision of my life

    okay guys i will make this brief : 2 and a half years ago i made the decision to try to get a fresh start in life and move to the neighboring country and try to make it there and lived with my mom for that time ,but the people who make the decision for green card have not granted me to stay in that country and now i am illegal in this country and staying at my mothers caravan i have no future (not allowed to work or stay)and my parents are divorced if never pick a side .

    i could try to ask my father (who lives in the other country)for coming back but i don't know how my mother will react to it and i hope she doesn't assume that i pick his side in the divorce (they are 2 years divorced)

    please help i don't have a clue how to fix this crisis

  2. #2
    soooooo collllldddd rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    Well honest to God.

    I have no idea. Why don't you just get out there and be your own man without relying on either mummy or daddy for anything.

    That will mean moving back to your own country. But it should have nothing to do with your father or picking sides in a divorce.

    It isn't a crisis. It is learning to be an adult.

  3. #3
    Impish and Mercurial Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    I am not entirely sure what your situation is, legally, but as far as your parents' divorce, they are grown ups and they should act as such. "Sides" only exist in politics and children's games. Parents have no right to make their children choose. If the situation ends with you needing to move to live with the other parent, you should just calmly explain it's legal factors, and not picking sides.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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    Virgin ziggystardust1985's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    it would be easy if i had any money i really don't want to rely on my parent but to be able to work you have to have a valid address and a caravan isn't a real address now i don't have that i don't have a choose

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    Impish and Mercurial Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    Isn't there a way to fix the home situation? If it means moving to your father, you should do it. One does whatever is necessary to make a stable living first, because EVERYTHING in life stems from financial stability, unfortunately.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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    Virgin ziggystardust1985's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    rolyo85 : thanks ,your right because i don't have a valid address here and with my dad i can work legally i don't stand a chance in this country, i hope my mom doesn't hate me for making this decision

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    Impish and Mercurial Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    She has no right to hate you, and as long as YOU know that, her opinion should not matter. It's in her garden, and she is responsible for it, not you.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
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    Re: big decision of my life

    It's not taking sides if you're not allowed to live and work somewhere. You gotta make a living, and to do that you have to go where you can work.

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    Rest in peace, mom. JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    You need to think of your future and stability in terms of being able to take care of yourself without fear of deportation. Go home. Get more education or a job or both. It's up to your mother to think of what's best for you. If sh gets upset it will be up to her to get over it.

    Good luck to you and I hope you'll soon be on your way to independence.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

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    panegyric JUB Admin Corny's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    Quote Originally Posted by ziggystardust1985 View Post
    okay guys i will make this brief : 2 and a half years ago i made the decision to try to get a fresh start in life and move to the neighboring country and try to make it there and lived with my mom for that time ,but the people who make the decision for green card have not granted me to stay in that country and now i am illegal in this country
    Hu? You are in Antwerp, Belgium. The neighboring countries are the Netherlands, Germany, Luxemburg and France. All of them are in the EU. You are allowed to live and work in the EU wherever you want.
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    Re: big decision of my life

    Quote Originally Posted by Corny View Post
    Hu? You are in Antwerp, Belgium. The neighboring countries are the Netherlands, Germany, Luxemburg and France. All of them are in the EU. You are allowed to live and work in the EU wherever you want.
    its not that easy i told the people at immigration office the same thing they sad that only apply to big company and rich people not middle class people to work in another country you need a place to stay for work and them have to wait for a responds if your allowed to stay longer then 6 months in those 6 months your only have temp work visa that it EU isnt for the normal people only the rich and powerfull

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    panegyric JUB Admin Corny's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    I'm not following. Which nationality do you have? You can stay anywhere in the EU as long as you want, no need for any 6 months visa.

    http://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp?langId=en&catId=457
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    Re: big decision of my life

    Quote Originally Posted by Corny View Post
    I'm not following. Which nationality do you have? You can stay anywhere in the EU as long as you want, no need for any 6 months visa.

    http://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp?langId=en&catId=457
    Also, OP, which two countries are we talking about?

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    Re: big decision of my life

    Quote Originally Posted by Corny View Post
    I'm not following. Which nationality do you have? You can stay anywhere in the EU as long as you want, no need for any 6 months visa.

    http://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp?langId=en&catId=457
    i am dutch of nationality ,well on the paper i can stay as long as i pleases but my work visa in Belgium has been denied after 30 days of the result of Brussels and no work and my place of stay is about to be canceled (cant pay rent anymore) and my mom who lives 'on paper' for legal reasons is unwilling to keep the place she doesn't want to work more than 2 hour a day so she can not(or will not) pay any bills

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    JUB Addict Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    Have you considered working without a work permit?

    @Corny, in 2001 I worked in Spain and had to apply for a Spanish work permit, even though I have the Dutch nationality. In the application form they asked for my first and last name and only the first names of my parents (Spanish last names work differently from what we are used to in our countries). The permit did not arrive in the months that I worked there.

    The link you posted contains directives that I think go back to 1958 (got that from wikipedia). It looks wonderful on paper, but in practice I doubt it works that way.

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    Re: big decision of my life

    If I remember the EU laws correctly you have X many months to find a job (or any other way to show you can be financially independent) but once that time period is over they can send you back.

    He can move back and then later move to his moms and try again. Best thing would be to find a job before moving though.

  17. #17
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    Re: big decision of my life

    Quote Originally Posted by Harke the Boeotarch View Post
    Have you considered working without a work permit?

    @Corny, in 2001 I worked in Spain and had to apply for a Spanish work permit, even though I have the Dutch nationality. In the application form they asked for my first and last name and only the first names of my parents (Spanish last names work differently from what we are used to in our countries). The permit did not arrive in the months that I worked there.

    The link you posted contains directives that I think go back to 1958 (got that from wikipedia). It looks wonderful on paper, but in practice I doubt it works that way.
    i have consider that but without a proper address of stay and no real way to get to work i have got no drivers licence(the caravan is in the middle of nowhere) and they were checking if i work illigaly because just for a month of my work visa tey were sending cops around to check if i wasn't working with out a visa in Belgium are lot of people without a permit for work and the cops show no mercy

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    Re: big decision of my life

    Quote Originally Posted by Laufey View Post
    If I remember the EU laws correctly you have X many months to find a job (or any other way to show you can be financially independent) but once that time period is over they can send you back.

    He can move back and then later move to his moms and try again. Best thing would be to find a job before moving though.
    its 3 months before they make a decision about my green card and the last evaluation will be considered in that judgement even that without a address i don't have chance in hell and there is that bad circle of finding a job 90% of the jobs needs a green card or they wont hire you and for a green card you have to have a 2 year contact in a stable company , its more strict now because like myself a lot of dutch people are coming here to do the same thing

  19. #19
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Moderator KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: big decision of my life

    It's generally not a good idea to be in an out-status when it comes to immigration status. Regardless of the country.

    It comes down to what your plan is- not your parents' plan. Your plan.

    If you want to work and you cannot work in Belgium, then go to another place where you can work. If you're not able to support yourself, then go to a place where you can. If you want to get ahead, then go to a place where you can either get an education or find employment that will enable you to get what you want.
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