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  1. #1
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    Journal Thread 2013

    Anyone wondering where I get my stardate calculations from can look over here.

    Personal log, Stardate 66480.4

    Things are continuing to look up for me, in general. Yesterday, at the college I'm attending, I did put money down for the one class I can afford to take right now, basically a math/algebra course. I am thouroughly excited, as this is a start (albeit small) towards my weather forecasting degree, and a way out of retail.

    I need them to hurry up and put me on the overnight shift. If, for no other reason, so I do have transportation to and from work. I would have been online last night, except that I never made it home from work until early this morning. The bus that runs outside the supermarket where I work was 15 minutes late, thus not getting me to the rail station in time to catch the last northbound train to the far-northwest end of Dallas (Trinity Mils Station), where I catch my bus to go home. The last bus of the night for me to go home on leaves Trinity Mills at 11pm. So I had no choice but to go back to my supermarket, and spend the night on the breakroom floor. Although I was, and still am, highly upset with DART for ending me up in that situation, it wasn't a total loss. The one honestly great thing about working in a 24-hour supermarket >> If you ever encounter a situation where you are stranded and stuck at work, you basically work in a ginormous pantry. As long as your money holds out, you basically will not starve. I pigged out on a whole roast chicken, had a bottle of Ocean Spray Cran Juice for a drink, and kicked back in our breakroom. I also got me the electric toothbrush I'd been wanting.

    But getting stuck at my store also meant that I could not handle personal business today, on my day off, like I wanted to. So now, all of what I wanted to do has to wait until Monday. /facepalm.

    Action Notes for the forseeable future...

    >> Make sure, at work, that they get you moved over to the overnight shift, like they promised by the end of this next week.
    >> Get up off your lazy ass and make sure the laundry gets done and folded. Get the apartment cleaned by end of day Monday. Pest control also comes on Monday. Make sure the door is unlocked.
    >> Monday, take the phone to MetroPCS, and get things straightened out with your online account.
    >> Go by the Planned Parenthood clinic Monday, and inquire about HIV testing, and the condoms. This will be the year I finally get a boyfriend.
    >> Make sure to not touch savings, as you need the money for the books and access code for college.
    >> Due next payday - Rent, DART month pass, Internet, electricity. MetroPCS had been paid.

    Want 100% execution on every note, period. Just steady as she goes, the next two weeks.

  2. #2
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    1/05/13

    TIRED. AS. FUCK! MUST STAY AWAKE.

    want to beat meat but too tired.

    FAWK!!!

    feel bladder filling up with piss. must get self up to bathroom but can't. legs are dead.

    HELP ME!
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  3. #3
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66484.9

    I need to sleep. I got recruited to accompany my friend, "Andy" to his appointment, today. He, would, in return, run me by my bank, to fix the issue withe the surprise Norton Antivirus charge. I hope Tom, my banker is there, today. He's both ridiculously sexy and super competent. So, I'm quite sure he'll take care of me, at least on the banking part. I know it's part of his job, but he always looks dressed to kill. , I'm just sayin'...

    Must make sure to finish laundry when I get home. Clear off the mess that is my dining table. The trip to Planned Parenthood may have to wait until Wed or Thurs because of all this extra stuff I've got to deal with. All I truly want is a **true** day off - one day where I don't have to go anywhere, where I don't have to see or be around anyone else. I can sleep as late as I want, and I can enjoy the quiet solitude of four walls and just me alone. I so badly want that.
    Last edited by jdcnow; January 7th, 2013 at 08:28 AM.

  4. #4
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66487.9

    Norton issue resolved, charge refunded. Should appear on my bank acct by the end of the week. The trip to Planned Parenthood for the HIV testing, and condoms will have to wait until after the Norton charge is refunded. The Metro PCS phone replacement will have to wait as well.

    But be not discouraged. Steady as she goes, and just take one issue at a time.

  5. #5
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Good to see you, Joe-Joe. I hope 2013 treats you well. Good luck with the class!
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  6. #6
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    ^ Thanks, hon!

  7. #7
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66502.1

    Laundry dealt with. Planned Parenthood visited yesterday. $65 bucks for an HIV test. I'll work that into the budget eventually, as I would like to get myself ready to land a boyfriend this year.

    Richard tried to hit me up for $10 bucks for the ride home Friday night, on top of me having to splurge $17 on emergency taxi cab fare, because our wonderful public bus system left me stranded at one of it's bus stations. I take two buses to get to work - one to take me from my apartment to a bus station, and the next one runs by the bus station and takes me to my supermarket. Well the first bus didn't make the bus station in time, so when I got there, my connecting bus had already came and left, and the next one wouldn't come until the next hour, when I should already be at my store, clocking in for work. I have two choices - wait for the next bus and guarantee being late, or splurge on a taxi, and pray to make it. I chose the taxi, and I did make it on time. But that was one of those "shit happens" emergency expenses that nobody wants to have. But I digress. So that night, when Richard picks me up, I bought him a 12-pack of the soda I know he likes, as a thank you. And he asks me for $10 bucks for gas, which I don't carry cash, just my card. So I promise to get it back to him. OK, fine. And I have no problem pitching in for and paying for this service of being picked up that I am using. But when I speak with Andy, my friend and former roommate, for whom I still do housekeeping for him and his girlfriend, and I just happened to mention it to Andy. His eyebrows shot up really quick - without my knowing it, Andy had given Richard $40 bucks beforehand, on my behalf to pick me up from work, because I work for Andy (the housekeeping gig). So you can imagine that Andy was not at all thrilled or impressed that Richard had asked me for an additional $10 on top of what Andy had paid him for me. Andy has a way of handling these matters that is both beautiful and hilarious, so as he instructed me, I will let him deal with it.

    But tonight is the night, I start going overnight at my store. I work tonight, 10pm to 7am, and beyond that, I've got to get my schedule from the night manager that'll be there, tonight. I've been trying to adjust my sleep pattern to accomodate my new vampire schedule, but it's 3.00pm, and I'm awake, and I know that's not exactly ideal, right now. I'll be fine, though. Always am. Oh, snap! Today's the day the paystubs drop online. I've gotta go by and see how much or little I'm getting for payday on Thursday, so I can plan my spending for the next two weeks.

  8. #8
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66520.6

    Last night, I caught up with Zac during the layover at the bus station on my way to work. He was and still is one of the janitorial/maintenance people at the Supercenter where I was a front checkouts supervisor at last year. God, I miss him. He's like a gay male Wendy Williams - so naturally, he and I just clicked. He filled me in on the latest gossip at the store (that store is such a filthy-hot mess train wreck that the store manager got demoted and shipped to another store). We shot the bull about which male coworkers and managers we thought were cute and would fantasize over. God, I friggin' miss him.

    All is going well, though. College starts Wednesday. My one math/algebra class. #too excited...

  9. #9
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66545.1



    Although my body is tired as hell (my back won't stop with the dull ache, and when **don't** my feet bother me), my spirit, at least feels good. Overnights at my job working out fine for me, personally, but it's still a soap opera. I just choose to just be above it all, and out of the drama.

    College is going fine with the one math class I'm taking. My professor's cool, and a semi-comedian in class. Homework is meh - I like it, although it's frustrating at times. When solving this multi-layered problem that has all of these intricate mini-problems to solve...if you screw one math function up, you're fucked - it throws the whole problem-solving process off. And now, you've got to find out precisely WHERE you went wrong. Frankly, doing my taxes was easier than some of these problems - ACK!!

    Enjoying a day off from work, feeling lazy as hell. I need to cut my hair and shave, but I want to do neither.

    Last edited by jdcnow; January 29th, 2013 at 07:29 AM.

  10. #10
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal Log, Stardate 66585.9

    Well, I'll make this quick.

    But basically, things are optimally well, right now. Not hurting for money by any means. Bills are about to drop, so I'll need to see how much those are. Went for my HIV test at a local Planned Parenthood clinic. Negative, of course, but I had to check - born before 1985, plus, I got a tattoo in December, and tattoos actually are considered minor surgery. So, now, I can begin the hunt, for, I don't know, a fuck buddy? A boyfriend? I don't know what I want, but there is time to figure that stuff out later. I just can't wait too long - I am 30, after all. Being from the damn country put me a whole decade behind everyone else for where I actually should be in life, and I will always be deeply resentful of that. There was no hope for a decent future for me there. Moving to Dallas was the best decision I ever made. I love the city, and will never leave.

    I can't hardly wait for my vacation from my store, that begins Saturday of next week, the 23rd. It's the first paid vacation I've ever gotten from a job ever in my life. I think I may go sightseeing in downtown Dallas. My friend that I housekeep for wants to take me out to a bar. Looking forward to that - I've never been out partying, before, and I barely go out at all, except for work or school.

    But that Saturday morning when I get off work and start my vacation...
    MEEP, MEEP!!
    All they'll see of me when I leave my store is the doors closing behind me, and a trail of smoke.

    I hope I do well, on the algebra test I have this morning. I think I will. Off to study.

  11. #11
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    Went for my HIV test at a local Planned Parenthood clinic. Negative, of course, but I had to check - born before 1985,
    Those born in '85 and later are immune?

  12. #12
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Quote Originally Posted by Keeland View Post
    Those born in '85 and later are immune?
    No. HIV first started being tested for in 1985. Although any blood tests a person has had since then could have probably tested for it, it's always better safe than sorry.

  13. #13
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66604.4

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    But that Saturday morning when I get off work and start my vacation...
    MEEP, MEEP!!
    All they'll see of me when I leave my store is the doors closing behind me, and a trail of smoke.
    Well, I tried to do the HTML code for what I wanted to post here, but that didn't work out. There's a realtime flash countdown clock from timeanddate.com that I was going to be clever and try to post here, but it just won't work.

    But basically, as of this posting, Tuesday night at 11.40pm Dallas time, I've got 3 days, 7 hours, and about 20 minutes to go before the first vacation from a job I've ever had. Talk about excited! I've never gone out just to have fun ever in my life, and I'm 30. It's always been either work, school, eating, or shopping - all out of necessity. I've never had a "life" before. I've never before gone out just to go out and enjoy life. I intend to both rest up as well as live it up! Might even toy with the idea of a hookup. Don't know yet. This will be the week of "You only live once, so live dangerously, and make it damn well worth it." I do intend to get my feet wet, though.

    In other news, passed last week's algebra test with flying colors - 96. Quiz due Monday before Midnight, so let's get that taken care of, ahead of time.

    Bills are all paid up, just need to do some light grocery shopping. My mp3 player is due around Saturday, ordered another Sansa Clip +. First one served me well, but I accidentally lost it on one of the public transit buses. Need to use my phone insurance and reorder another phone. I think my current one's on its last legs. It's served me well, it just old and needs to be laid to rest and put out of its misery.

    Life is good, right now. Just steady as she goes, and plan for next week.

  14. #14
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Yay! Sounds like things are looking up!
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  15. #15
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Quote Originally Posted by LilBit View Post
    Yay! Sounds like things are looking up!
    Thanks, bro. They are, very much so!

    Personal log, Stardate 66614.3

    I'M FUCKING FREE!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    MEEP, MEEP!!
    I so needed that. /facepalm

    On my first day of vacation, I have already been quite a busy boy. For this next part, forgive me if I sound like Victor from "The Rules Of Attraction retelling in detail his European vacation trip.

    So I thought I had woken up late for work because my phone is apparently on the fritz. But I look at my bedroom clock, and it's just after 7pm last night. I had planned ahead by already showering before I went to bed. So I call Andy for a yea or nay on a day off for yesterday from my housekeeping responsibilities with him. Yea - day off. I make a decision to nap for another half hour, but instead, I get dressed anyway for work at my store, and get on my bus an hour early at 737pm last night. The 534 runs two minutes late, and just as I start to panic that it's late, it comes.

    I get on and ride down to Addison bus station, catch my usual 488 an hour early, just after 8pm. Ride it to this wonderful sex goods store called Condom Sense. I'm looking for the black leather strap cockrings with the snap buttons. (I won't post a pic here, as doing so would likely violate the JUB TOS, but I think you get it.) All they have is one with a small vibrator on it. Not what I'm looking for. But the salesclerk shoes me the rubber ones they have. I buy the 3-pk ones - two regular size, and one large one. It was cheap though, and it came out of my vacation fund I saved up. If I do happen to get lucky, this next week, I think it would be nice to send the guy off with a cockring. Nice gift.

    So I walk across the street to kill time until the next 488 comes around to take me on to my store. Olive Garden, or Starbucks? I choose Starbucks. I get a hot chocolate, medium. It was perfect. Rich and chocolatey. And it was hot chocolate, not burning chocolate. That's what annoys me about the way hot chocolate is made - too scalding hot.

    So I catch the bus, and go to work. Work went without incident. Had two whole pallets of new item product in our regular economy-sized candy set. All night, we just opened each case, scanned one copy of an item, printed one of our labels for the case, and put it back on the pallet. We cleared out two pallets tonight.

    Everybody wished me well on my vacation. I told them that I plan to sightsee around Dallas, but I also plan some naughty fun, too! It's Sentuality night at the bar across the street from my house. Basically, that means anything from wet t-shirt contests to swingers' night. I joked with my co-workers that the only promise I'm making about my vacation is that no one will end up pregnant. Let's just see what happens.

    I clocked out, got our cheaper house brand of the big bottle of lube, and left. Caught the bus and eventually the light rail train clear across town. Got off the train and walked at least a quarter mile to the place I chose to eat. If you're ever in northeastern Dallas, may I recommend the Furs Cafeteria at the southeast corner of the 75 freeway @ Park Blvd. On the weekends only, they have an all you can eat breakfast buffet. With drink, it comes to $11 bucks, but it's all you can eat. The place is always full, and the food is always good. This morning's breakfast was off the chain.

    I finish there, then walk back to the train station. Check what time the bus headed for Addison bus station leaves. I've got almost 35 minutes. So I high-tail it the next street over to Metro PCS. I get the situation with my broke ass phone fixed. The phone needs to have a funeral thrown for it. The battery dies on full-charge from less than an hour before, and the menu button doesn't work. They'll get me a new phone Monday.

    I haul ass back to the train station and successfully catch the 350 to Addison. I enjoy the sights as we pass by. I get to Belt Line, and make a stop by the Planned Parenthood Clinic for "Supplies" - what I wrote on the check-in form. I actually bought 4-dozen condoms. 24 regulars, and 24 XLs. They're great for jerking off into. I walk out, and to the street corner. I realize the busses for that street have already ran. I hoof it to the next street over to the north, at least two football fields away. I come to the stop bets the most busses to come by in the immediate neighborhood. I was right. My bus finishes taking me back to Addison, where I catch my 534 to go home.

    1220pm, I get back here to my apartment. I lay my shit down, and go downstairs to the main office. Anthony, the tall hunky Spanish lease agent is there. God, he's fucking dreamy. I ask him about the key in my mailbox from yesterday. He tells me that the package mail boxes are behind the pool.

    I go open 7 and get my MP3 player I ordered off Amazon. Task accomplished.

    1230, I high-tail it back to the bus stop, get on and go to the other end of the street, over to Andy's place. I housekeep for about 50 minutes, and play with the cats for the next few. I've fullfilled my obligation - emptied the vaccuum, did a load of laundry, ran the few dishes there were.

    I catch the bus, this time to the Kroger. I get an enema, a roast chicken, some Mike's Hard Lemonade, and a half gallon of milk. Even though milk upsets my tummy, I do like cereal from time to time.

    I sit outside the Kroger's with 15 minutes to kill, and watch the world go by as I way for my final bus trip today. I go get slurpee at the 7-Eleven across the street, and at about 240, I made it home.

    I think it's safe to say, I walk off all that Furr's breakfast I ate. I still have to clean my apartment and sleep some. Tonight is Sensuality night at the club across the street. Wouldn't wanna bring a guy over to a dingy place.

  16. #16
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Have FUN tonight!!!

    "Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it..." Goethe

  17. #17
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Thanks!

    Personal log, Stardate 66615.3

    The bar across the street from my apartment was a complete lost cause. Including the bouncer, the DJ, the bartender girl, and the owner (I think), there was all of eleven people there. So. Damn. Dull. /facepalm... The DJ could have changed what he was doing to funeral music, and no one would have known the difference.

    Went to Andy's apartment, got there at 10pm. He wanted to talk business, and Nikki wanted to be left alone on her PS3, so Andy and I went for Whataburger. I had a number 2, the double with cheese, fries, and a sweet tea to drink. Sweet tea wasn't all that great, but the burger was really good.

    At this point coming up on a quarter past 11pm, I'm back home in my apt on my laptop. I might see if any of my tumblr followers are game for a skype session. Maybe a jerkoff race, together. Who knows.

    While this night was a bit of a strike-out, believe you me, it won't happen again. I will live up and enjoy this vacation if it's the last thing I do.

  18. #18
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66618.3

    Vacation, night 2.

    Well, got a 90 on the 10-question pop quiz online, for my algebra class (homework and quizzes are done on the internet, and the basic instruction and all the tests and the final are done in class). I do need to fix/finish the one homework assignment. But the main thing was the quiz, due what is now today, tonight by Midnight.

    Went and grabbed a burger from Braums. It was meh - not terrible, but not Red-Shoe-Diaries-orgasm-in-your-mouth good, either. Met my housekeeping obligation for the day. Went home and have been online, goofing off on Tumblr ever since.

    I need to fix and reorganize my music, so I can get it on that MP3 player.

    Storms moving through the area, right now. Nothing to write home about, though.

    Plan for tomorrow - Housekeeping, then school, then in the afternoon, who knows? Maybe sightseeing, maybe the Dallas Galleria. Maybe NorthPark Center.

    Tuesday, for sure, Victory Park.

    Supposed to get my replacement phone in today. Can't wait.

  19. #19
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66620.6

    Vacation Day 3.

    After my algebra class let out just before noon, I rode the 488 DART bus to the Dallas Galleria - it's one of the premiere, most upscale high-end malls in Dallas-Fort Worth, which says a lot considering there are at least a dozen malls here, roughly.

    (Yes, this town is that big. The thing people don't understand about Dallas-Fort Worth, is that it's essentially one ginormous city that spans over 5 counties. You do have the large municipalities - Dallas and Fort Worth, but by the time you add in literally about 30 or so suburb municipalities, you've got a giant megalopolis city that takes up Dallas, Tarrant, Rockwall, most of Denton, and most of Collin counties. We're literally almost as big as New York in terms of physical land and real estate taken up. But where as NY has a population of over 8 million, Dallas-Fort Worth has a combined population of over 6 million across the 5 counties.)

    Enough geography - my brain craves dick and sleep, right now. The Galleria - It's four stories tall with an attached hotel. And the stores are the epitome of flash and swank. I even saw a flag sign - one of those they hang in midair from the ceiling - on the 3rd floor that said something to the effect of, "Of Course We're Flashy. This Is Dallas."

    I'll upload pics at a later time, because crazy me left my phone at Andy's and his girlfriend's place.

    But I ate a Godiva Chocolate. At the going rate of $50 USD per pound, the one piece I got was no bigger than the size of a soda pop bottle cap, and I paid $1.74 for it. Tourist trap indeed. But I can see why Godiva is the gold standard in chocolate candy.

    Went to this one high-end watch store that had clocks outside, showing the current time for various world cities around the planet - Seoul, London, Denver, Mexico City, Sydney. Swank to the max. Saw a chrome blackberry. I snapped a pic, and I think the bling literally partially blinded my phone's camera while snapping the pic.

    But the weather turned sucky late in the day. Howling winds, wind chill in the 20s, and even light snow north of here.

    I hope tomorrow's a better day, weatherwise. If not, Victory Park will have to wait until Thursday.

  20. #20
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66627.3

    These are the pics from Monday, as promised earlier...

    This was my first experience at Godiva. Shit is pricey as hell - $50 USD/pound (weight). Just this right here ran me $1.70-something, with tax and all.

    But I do now understand why they are the gold standard in chocolate.

    These next 3 pics were at Tourneau, a ritzy watch and jewelry boutique I stopped in to.

    There are even clocks outside the store, showing the current time in major world cities, Sydney, Denver, Mexico City, London, etc.

    And for the man or woman who has everything, these silver (?) cell phones and devices by Vertu.


    And of course the above-mentioned sign. This place is a fashionista's dream. Every store just screams ritz, flash, and swank.


    Quite the docket on today's agenda. Pay the rent, then guage time, and see if I can fit an hour for Andy's apartment in (housekeeping), or will I have to wait to get back from sightseeing. If not, head out for downtown - it'll take about 30 minutes to get to Trinity Mills Station, then about a 30-45 minute train ride down to Victory Park, where I'll witness in person the noon news broadcast from Dallas ABC station WFAA-TV. Don't know where I'll do lunch, but here are plenty of restaurants downtown. Then hit the Dallas Museum Of Art, this afternoon, and North Park Center after that.

    Then, late tonight, I link up with Andy for his road trip back home tonight, which, I can bet will be at least a 5 to 6 hour affair, because it's round trip. One to two hours for shopping, the trip down there, and the trip back.

    I do get to see my Chihuahua though...
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 2013 02 25 - 13 42 14 - Dallas Galleria - Sign.png   2013 02 25 - 13 33 24 - Dallas Gallaria - Tourneau - Bling Phones.png   2013 02 25 - 13 35 03 - Dallas Gallaria - Tourneau.png   2013 02 25 - 13 34 33 - Dallas Gallaria - Tourneau.png   2013 02 25 - 13 30 36 - Dallas Galleria - A Single Godiva Chocolate.png  


  21. #21
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    Personal log, Stardate 66635.9

    Here are the pics from Downtown Dallas from Thursday.

    The W Hotel, western Downtown Dallas.


    The WFAA-TV Studios at Victory Park. Victory Park is the venue where very large parties are thrown, like the Big D NYE New Year's Eve party, chiefly thrown by WFAA-TV, and the Dallas Mavericks had their open-to-the-public party here a few years back when they won the NBA Title.


    Also, the American Airlines Center at Victory Park.


    Here's a beauty shot of Downtown Dallas, as I took it from the brand new Klyde Warren Deck Park that literally was built over the Woodall Rogers Freeway.


    These next four are from the Dallas Museum Of Art...






    And this beautiful ancient cistern...

    Exhibit Caption - "Weighing close to 80 pounds, this monumental cistern was made for Frances Hastings, the 10th Earl of Huntingdon, following his appointment to the cabinet of King George, III. Origially, it would have held ice to chill wine in the Earl's country home, as a grand display of his power and prestige. The cistern itself bears lion-mask handles and both the royal arms and those of the Earl of Huntingdon. Hoofed legs connected by a chain form its detachable base. The size of this cistern and the likelihood that such a large piece would have been melted down as tastes changed make this a particularly rare object."

    All is well, though. Didn't meet anyone, like I'd hoped, but hopefully soon. Now that my vacay is almost over, time to focus going back to work tomorrow night. Make sure all the clothes are washed, make sure stuff to make subway sandwiches at home are bought. Gotta get my work schedule both up on my own calendar board, and sent to Andy, and I have housekeeping to pull at his place, seeing as he's given me the day off tomorrow to adjust to going back to my store tomorrow night. Make sure the other half of homework for Algebra is done, and make sure the graphic calculator you have is up and running for Wednesday's test.

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    Personal log, Stardate 66698.3

    Sigh. Tired as hell. Here at Brookhaven in the upstairs cafe watching Lets Make A Deal on Channel 11, waiting for my algebra class to start.

    Work was SSDD - same shit, different day. I thought my boss was going to throw down her asst. manager keys and walk out. She was made to come in on her night off (she's salaried) without any sleep, because she didnt know she was going to be called in. Then, I overheard her looking at the schedule, to see who was to come in last night. When she saw she only has the one overnight stocker for both grocery and general merchandise depts. She hit the roof quick.

    We got through it, though. But if there was ever a reason why I need to hurry up and get my weather forecasting degree, and get the hell up out of retail, last night was it.

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    Personal log, Stardate 66775.1

    Well that cold front is due within the next hour or so. Bye-bye warmth for a while, at least. If DFW hits 41*, it'll be a new record. The talk from the peanut gallery about the weather around here, is lately, it's colder now in mid spring than it was in winter.

    I'm a little less exhausted this morning. I did follow my therapist's orders and played hookey from my store - they can afford to miss me for one night. My therapist is worried that with me working 19 to 21-hour days back-to-back-to-back, and this unbending Superman schedule like it is, I'm kinda burning my candle at both ends, and that eventually, my body will just automatically shut down on me.

    I feel like I'm on a motorized runaway hamster wheel, and I can't get off of it.

    But I'm trying to get out of retail and I am trying to follow my dream - to study weather forecasting. I just hope I don't just drop from all the exhaustion I'm putting myself through, so that I can get where I need to go, and to make a better life for myself.

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    Personal log, Stardate 66783.5

    Well, what a week of both highs and lows for me. In the hospital Wednesday for chest pain - thankfully it was nothing major.

    Then, yesterday, I went to get my middle and last names legally changed. That's done, but now, I have to file paperwork with everyone I have dealings of some kind with - work, bank, the credit agencies, etc. The next leg of my preparation to go after my dream is now complete.

    Notes for the forseeable future...

    >> Take that extra- credit test today at Brookhaven. Today is the last chance, by 5pm.

    >> Get a copy of the court order for the name change to the bank, preferably today.

    >> My store - Very important - The name change order and the doctor's note need to go with you tonight. Also, get the sickpay in for what nights were missed. Make sure the work schedule is copied to markerboard calendar.

    >> School - markerboard needs an update on assignments and due dates.

    >> Rest whenever possible as much as possible!

    Steady as she goes the next two weeks. Push yourself yes, but don't overdo it. You don't need another ER visit.

  25. #25
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Absolutely love your posts. Such a real glimpse into another persons life. Keep it up - and get out of retail.

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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Thank you!

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    Glad your chest pain was nothing serious. Take care of yourself, Joe-Joe!
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

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    ^ Thanks!

    Next 3 goals for myself...

    -.An internship my algebra professor might hook me up with.
    - A vehicle - just a decent hoopty to get me from A to B.
    - A boyfriend, maybe? /prays...

    Onward and upward!

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    Personal log, Stardate 66804.3

    One thing's for sure - you can't hang with me and be a lazy person. Simply will not work out. The last couple of months have been absolutely gruelling for me, day in and day out. The only things that have gotten me through it are sweat, work ethic and Tylenol for my achy feet and chest pain.

    Finally, I get a night off from my store, tomorrow. Then, Sunday through Wednesday on, and next Thurs and Friday off. I know I need to rest a lot more, but I'm busting my ass trying to move my life forward. My work and schedule still run me, instead of me running it. But I'm trying to rest whenever I can

    My notes for the forseeable future...

    - Tuesday, go to the Social Security office and get that taken care of. That should have already been done.

    - Laundry 100% done by Sunday morning.

    Make sure all homework is done. Finals due anytime on or before Monday May 13th, 10am.

    DART pass renewal due Sunday.

    100% on your own apartment. Everything clean.

    Project X MUST be completed no later than Sunday night, so I can get the information to Mr Bailey.

    Push, push, push - 100% execution on every note, everyday. No rest until ALL the work is done. Period.


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    Personal log, Stardate 66830.3

    It's Midday, Monday. Just got out of my algebra final - HALLELUJAH!!! I do think I did well, though. 40 questions, multiple choice scantron. I just hope I actually did do well. Avg before today was a 91, still an A. If I did well, the final exam grade replaces the lowest homework, the lowest quiz, and the lowest test grades. Add another 10 points to the next-to-lowest test grade, because I did take that extra credit test. I should have nothing much to worry about. Trouble is, there's shouldn't, and then there's don't..

    On my way to podiatrist to talk things over. This should be interesting.

  31. #31
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    BEST OF LUCK at the DR's office!!!

    OH...

    And CONGRATS in ADVANCE for ACING that Algebra exam!!!

    "Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it..." Goethe

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    Personal log, Stardate 66839

    Well, I'll make this quick. I did do well on my algebra final with an 87.5. My major test grades are as follows, according to what's posted... 96, 92, 84, and 89. My average right now is 90.3. My professor will replace the lowest major test grade with the finals grade, whichever was higher. So that 84 automatically gets raised to an 87.5. Then add 10 points to the resulting lowest grade, so I assume he will go for the 87.5, although since that one's been amended, I don't know if he'd amended it again to a 97.5, or would he change the second-lowest, the 89. Either way, for my first college class, it looks like I came out with an A!

    With the foot surgery and all, the summer class I want to take might have to wait until the July summer term. But, just let's see what happens.

    I want to say thank you to everyone here. These last few weeks have been made a hell of a lot easier by the invaluable support I've gotten from here. Thanks ever so much!

  33. #33
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    ^ Confirmed - Final grade is now posted for me...92.4% I have passed my first college class with an A! So proud of myself!


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    Congrats, Joe-Joe!
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  35. #35
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    Personal Log, Stardate 66845.1

    Well, it was good to get out Ė Movie night at the pool at my apartment complex. The landlady and office staff held a free pizza social and movie viewing at our pool. Meh, I donít dare get into the pool Ė I donít have the body for it (not yet, anyway) but itís good to get out of the four walls of my apartment.

    Iíve got a lot on my mind and a lot of work to do to get ready for this surgery. I want to get as knowledgeable and completely informed as I can, so that I can walk into that OR eyes wide open about whatís going to happen to me.

    So I watched this video on Youtube, a walkthrough the anesthesia processÖ



    I refuse to be freaked out or scared again, so Iím just going to say that there are some things that I am analytically, logically uncertain about Ė namely that my ability to breathe on my own will be stopped. I refuse to live in fear and be scared, but at the same time, I will say that Iím not 100% comfortable with the idea. Obviously. Who would be?

    But I am fortunate. While I donít know which hospital this surgery will take place at, where Iím at, in northern Dallas Ė pretty much every hospital around here is world-class and known for being such. This is where people come to learn how to be doctors. So I will be taken care of by the absolute best of the best. I know this. The person watching my vital signs will be highly trained and highly skilled to where this will be another day at the office. They will have done this many times before, and will know what theyíre doing. I trust that. I do.

    I guess what concerns me is that, logically, surgery, by its very nature is inherently a risk. It is a gamble, and it's not a gamble with a $2 lottery ticket. No, itís a gamble with your life. And, with all gambles, there is a risk of, well, you know. Some freak occurrence happens, and something goes way wrong that was unexpected, and thatís it. I think that where my anxiety and nervousness comes from is a sentence I added at the 11th hour to my coming out letter to my mom, before I printed the letter out Ė (this is right before the Dr. Seuss quote...) ďThis surgery has wised me up to the fact that I am entirely too young at age 30 to already have deep regrets about not enjoying my life. No more. Just no more.Ē Iíve got to start enjoying my life more, and be more open, especially about being gay. Living in the closet for so long has done visible, quantitative damage to my experience as a human being on this earth - I see that now. And it stops now. Onward, and upward.

    Alrighty, Notes to get done for the foreseeable future...

    >> Develop a list of questions to ask the doctor when you go for your appointment Thursday, to schedule a date for the surgery. You are expected to have a quota minimum of 10 questions to ask, and they must be typed up on Microsoft Word and printed out. This task is due by Wednesday evening, when you leave for work.
    >> Subtask, in conjunction with the above - do some homework on heel spurs, since your left foot has one, and find out if it's worth having work done on it, or will it just come back later down the road - that's one question for the doc.

    >> Clean your apartment, the expectation is "white glove perfect". Getting it fully stem-to-stern clean now, will help you keep it clean after surgery, when it's then harder to get around. This task is due by tomorrow night before you leave for work.

    >> Apply for a Pell Grant to cover the one summer class you need. You're looking at about $300 for tuition, plus another $150 for the online portion of the class, where all of the homework is done. This task is due by tomorrow night before you leave for work.

    >> Get the crutches painted and decorated, and start practicing on them. Practicing now will make it easier to get around later. And practice getting up and down the stairs, as you live on the 3rd floor - that's another issue to bring up with the doc.

    >> Stretch your legs, and do as much walking as possible, to stretch out those calf muscles. Stay as active as possible after surgery, but don't push it to reinjure yourself.

    >> Make sure your meals are ready to go for this week - cook them ahead of time and refrigerate. You know Andy's mantra - "Proper Preplanning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.ô" This task is due by tomorrow night before you leave for work.

    100% Execution on every note, everyday. Onward and upward.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilBit View Post
    Congrats, Joe-Joe!
    Thanks!

  37. #37
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    Personal log, Stardate 66846.4

    Well, I did it - my coming out letter is in the outgoing mail slot in my apartment complex's mailroom. It'll go out with tomorrow's mail. I feel such a huge weight off me, now. But I am kinda concerned about how she'll react to it. I've always been a people pleaser, even at my own expense. I understand that she may not, and likely will not be exactly thrilled with what I have to say, especially the part about that I'm too young to already have regrets about not enjoying my life. But it is my life, we're talking about here. I know that I'm doing the ethically right thing for me, personally. I just hope I'm doing the ethically right thing, period. We shall see.

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post

    Alrighty, Notes to get done for the foreseeable future...

    >> Develop a list of questions to ask the doctor when you go for your appointment Thursday, to schedule a date for the surgery. You are expected to have a quota minimum of 10 questions to ask, and they must be typed up on Microsoft Word and printed out. This task is due by Wednesday evening, when you leave for work.
    >> Subtask, in conjunction with the above - do some homework on heel spurs, since your left foot has one, and find out if it's worth having work done on it, or will it just come back later down the road - that's one question for the doc.

    >> Clean your apartment, the expectation is "white glove perfect". Getting it fully stem-to-stern clean now, will help you keep it clean after surgery, when it's then harder to get around. This task is due by tomorrow night before you leave for work.

    >> Apply for a Pell Grant to cover the one summer class you need. You're looking at about $300 for tuition, plus another $150 for the online portion of the class, where all of the homework is done. This task is due by tomorrow night before you leave for work.

    >> Get the crutches painted and decorated, and start practicing on them. Practicing now will make it easier to get around later. And practice getting up and down the stairs, as you live on the 3rd floor - that's another issue to bring up with the doc.

    >> Stretch your legs, and do as much walking as possible, to stretch out those calf muscles. Stay as active as possible after surgery, but don't push it to reinjure yourself.

    >> Make sure your meals are ready to go for this week - cook them ahead of time and refrigerate. You know Andy's mantra - "Proper Preplanning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.™" This task is due by tomorrow night before you leave for work.

    100% Execution on every note, everyday. Onward and upward.
    Working on all the rest that are due today.

    On a rather hilarious sidenote >> The straight couple I housekeep for... Friday night, I was at their apartment doing my chores, when they come home. I was cleaning the kitchen, and I like to put on music occasionally while I work. I had my android on playing one of my favorite songs, "Pilgrimage" by Conjure One. The girlfriend walks in to the kitchen, hearing this song, and goes, "You know, this song sounds like really bad porn music, but from one of those pornos that tries to have the deep theatrical plots." I think I like this song even more now - every time I play it, I see in my mind a porn scene.


  38. #38
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    Personal Log, Stardate 67400.1

    Well, moving the apartment of the friends I housekeep for is going - not OMG great, but it's going. I see now why my friend says that moving is literally more stressful than the death of a loved one. It's been both of them, the guy's mom, the mom's brother, a friend of my the guy, and me. So a six-person army getting these apartments moved and switched. And I'm just saying here - but who ever was the architect for this apartment complex ought to just be shot. - Just sayin'... Because they were obviously on crack or something when they designed these apartments! /make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!!!

    Because, in the new apartment being moved into, who in the sam hell would only give the front door only 3 feet of clearance - you can't even open it all the way. You can only open the front door to about a 60* or 70* degree angle before running into staircase - the staircase that leads to the upstairs. (This is a two-story townhouse apartment.) The friends bought a new living room suite - thank goodness I'm not the one moving it!

    I'm excited about my hangout date - not a romantic/sexual interest date - just a hangout date with the gay guy from my boss' girlfriend's work. I need to physically meet more gay people like myself. And my boss' girlfriend supposedly gave this guy marching orders to try and hook me up with someone and get me laid ASAP. Meh, we'll just see where it goes. But, tomorrow, meeting this guy for the first time, I do want to make a good impression. So the expectation is GQ caliber - clean-shaven, sideburns trimmed, red dress shirt with red undershirt, black dress pants, and the good dress shoes I got from the thrift store. My best, personal favorite cologne I own is actually a knockoff I discovered, when I worked for Walmart about 10/11 years ago (After the store closed one night, the evening and night shift gathered up at the customer service desk, and Management sold all the display models and sample testers from all the departments in the store for local charity - everything from sample cuts/volts of fabric for crafts to display model vacuum cleaners and ceiling fans. I bought several bottles of men's cologne for $3 bucks a pop.). It's called "Masculino" and is supposed to be a knockoff of Giorgio Armani's "Aqua Di Gio" - which I actually didn't like, but I love Masculino. I will be wearing that. The standard for appearance will be job-interview-ready - I want to put the best possible foot forward.

    Speaking of feet - I can't hardly wait!!! My appointment to schedule my foot surgery is at 930am Tuadesday morning. I'm excited and very much looking forward to finally going through with this, and being put under anesthesia, and everything.

    On an analytical note about the anesthesia - I've gotten advice from dozens of people who have said that I pretty much won't remember much. However, when I had my suicide attempt in 2010 (forgive me here, but I was in a very dark point in life at that particular time), there are a lot of things that the doctors said I wouldn't remember that I actually do. Sharply. Not horrifying things, or memories of being in physical pain at all (except for the IV line in my right wrist that was physically uncomfortable). But there were just a lot of things that I was real-time consciously aware of, even though I was heavily sedated, and honestly just didn't give a damn at the time. But I knew when people were in the room, when they physically touched me, what they said, etc. And I remember it crystal clearly. I think it has to do with having a conscious, aware, sharp mind, even though, your body's physically out of it.

    So, let's see what happens with it. I even have my dream picked out for when I'm asleep during surgery - I intend to dream about a Super Mario-themed adventure of some kind - something fun and positive. Just two things concern me - One, out-of-body experiences during sleep. Not only do I believe in them, but I've had them myself before, on multiple occasions. Back when I lived at my mom's, my older brother would come in during the night, and the next day, even though he'd changed clothes, I'd described exactly what he'd look like and was dressed in when he came in the night before. Scared the shit out of him. Sometimes my out-of-body experiences will differ between just getting back up out of bed, and other times, floating just under the ceiling at the top of the room above it all.

    And two - I don't want to be one of those poor souls who start acting crazy or drunk when they wake up out of the anesthesia. I don't want to be flirting with the male doctors and nurses, and all. And, I don't want to be belligerent, or goofy, either. And for the love of god, please don't let me come out of the anesthesia with morning wood. That would not be good, in a hospital gown trying to hide a boner. That would so not be cool. And how am I going to take care of that shit in a hospital bed? Just no. So not cool.

    So those are my only worries. Other than that, I think I'll be just fine.

    Onward and Upward! Just need to get those questions finalized, typed and printed before Tuesday morning's appointment.

  39. #39
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Good luck with the surgery, Joe-Joe!
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  40. #40
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    ^ Thanks!

    Note - due to being unable to access my normal site for stardates the stardate in the last log entry I believe, is incorrect. My apologies.

    Personal log, Stardate 66885.6

    Just got back from seeing Star Trek Into Darkness. I'm a die-hard Trekkie from way back when. I loved the movie, even though it does break with established canon on several levels. I'll say no more -spoilers- but I loved it though.

    Today was a nice break from the go-go-go bustle of the past two weeks. When I went to my mom's place, it was a push. No win, no loss. But I wish I could have gotten to talk to her. It was good to see my Chihuahua again. I miss my buddy. But I'm glad I got to pick him up and hold him one last time before my surgery. He fist bumped me just like I taught him. I miss him so. I promised him that I'd come back and visit. I intend to do just that.

    My housekeep boss/friend and I are supposed to go food/supplies shopping either tonight or Wednesday. I just want to get it done. I want to walk into that OR Friday with power and confidence and not a care in the world.

  41. #41
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Supplimental...



    My paystub dropped and I was just able to look at it. I did indeed get the bonus money for my store getting a bonus for this fiscal quarter - $352.15. I now WILL in fact, be able to afford the mandatory college class I need in July - last time it'll be offered ever, and will not have to take the new half-repeat combined class in the fall, as first thought.

    I'm a mix of shock and happy and wanna cry and just numb... It's all falling into place. My dreams are falling into place, and not falling apart. It's finally coming together.

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Breaking News.png  

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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Yay! Great news!
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  43. #43
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66892.1

    T-minus about 30 hours and counting. My conscious mind is not worried in the slightest. But my subconscious mind is still scared, if only just a little. I'm going to meditate tomorrow night. Try and put me at complete ease. Fear of the unknown is completely natural, but it still needs to be let go of and gotten over. Thursday, after I get of surgery, I'm going to see about being taken to Brookhaven, to my college. I must sign up for that class and pay the tuition for it before the class fills up. If I have to, I'll go down there tomorrow, and speak with an advisor - let me see if my boss that I housekeep for, "Andy", can sign up for the class on my behalf, because of my special situation with this surgery. I know he'd do it for me, it's just would the school allow him to do that in my place, even if I tell them I'm giving him permission to act on my behalf. This class needs to be signed up for asap. Then just relax. I plan on having one of the pork chops/steaks, or whatever Andy got for me for my first meal after surgery.

    Andy's and his girlfriend's cat looked so cute when he got back from the groomer's. They got him a Lion King cut. He's an orange tabby, so he looks just like Simba! He's the most adorable thing ever.

    I'm about to grab a light snack and turn in for the night. Tomorrow is the absolute last day to get every duck in a row, every I dotted, every T crossed.

  44. #44
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66899.9

    I just want to say to the physically disabled people of this world...

    You have my absolute and complete respect!


    Never have I appreciated being 100% able bodied before until now, that I'm temporarily partially disabled from this surgery. My surgery air boot is cool, but I'm quite thankful I won't have to wear it forever. I'm allowed to take the boot off while I'm in bed, but I must put it back on if I get up and leave my bed for any reason.

    I'm tired. Sleep now. Video games tomorrow.

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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Glad the surgery went well! Take care, babe!
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    ^

    Personal log, Stardate 66901.6

    Bored. Bored as hell. Honestly never though the internet would actually be boring. For realz...



    Paid my phone and internet. So we're good there. But I'm just trying to find stuff to occupy my time. I feel like I'm caught in a paradox - I want to do everything that I never had the chance to do before my surgery, but I really don't want to do anything right now. Just ugh... /facepalm...

    Guess I'll go pull a steak out of my freezer and go play some video games for a while...

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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66909.7

    Taking it easy today. Enjoying peace and quiet in my treehouse (my nickname for my apartment, since I live on the 3rd floor). Enjoying wearing only my black air boot and my bath robe today. Blogging, chatting with followers on kik messeger - I've met several artists this morning, and jerking off.

    Gonna fix lunch and work on my laundry. Then play some Super Mario Galaxy, and do the experiment with resting my bandaged foot on pillows. Just chillaxing, enjoying the good life.

  48. #48
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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Been enjoying reading this, so fucking adorable. Good to see you're recovering from surgery.

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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Quote Originally Posted by ElmosToe View Post
    Been enjoying reading this, so fucking adorable. Good to see you're recovering from surgery.
    Thank you, sexy!

    If you happen to have kik instant messenger on your smartphone or iPhone, hit me up through my tumblr page's account - @homopowertumblr. Drop me a line and say hi!

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    Re: Journal Thread 2013

    Personal log, Stardate 66916.3

    Another night of this... /facepalm...
    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post

    Bored. Bored as hell. Honestly never though the internet would actually be boring. For realz...

    At this point, I want to go back to work and to my rat race just because it's something to do. I was exhausted and ran into the ground, but it was a happy exhausted and a happy ran into the ground.

    Just wow... The boredom of constantly being at home is really getting to me. Driving me nuts.

    If anyone has kik instant messenger on their phone, I'm @homopowertumblr. Drop in and say hello. I'd actually enjoy the company.

    Going to jump on Super Mario Galaxy, now. /yawn,,,

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