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  1. #1
    Bammer's Papa
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    If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    I'm not really sure, myself. My buddy here says I'm a Granny Smith, but I really don't think so -- I think I'm a Gala.

    How about you?

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  2. #2
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    ^ Closeted Granny Smith.

    For reference:

    Click image for larger version. 

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    - - - Updated - - -

    I'm in CA... Ig uess I'm a Pacific Rose? No clue what 75% of these taste like though.

  3. #3

    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    They all look the same to me... but my BF will only eat Fuji's.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  4. #4
    Slut mrbeebs's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Granny smith or fuji

    you ever get really fucking high and realize different types of apples are like different races of human?
    All those wasted miles - all those aimless drives, through green aisles. Our careless life style: it was not so unwise.

  5. #5
    Goodbye, cruel world
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Is there a variety that is pale and tasteles?

  6. #6
    In Loving Memory palbert's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Pink Lady. A Cook's Illustrated recommendation.

  7. #7
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    ^ I so misread "Cook's."

  8. #8
    The 'Eyes' have it
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    As Canadian as a McIntosh.

    Did you know that you won't get a McIntosh apple tree if you plant seeds from a McIntosh apple? Macs come only from trees which were grafted from another, and every single McIntosh tree in the world today can be traced back to a single tree which was also a grafted tree.

  9. #9
    On the Prowl weinerslav's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    bravo-de-esmolfe!

    Yep, that's an apple variety that only is produced in a small region of Portugal. It has a really strong perfume, really, an amazing smell, and its very soft inside, when you bite it it has a weird texture, like if its made of flour and it isn't hard yet. Also they are always very small, a bit bigger than a plum I'd say.

    Click image for larger version. 

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  10. #10
    In Loving Memory palbert's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by gsdx View Post
    As Canadian as a McIntosh.

    Did you know that you won't get a McIntosh apple tree if you plant seeds from a McIntosh apple? Macs come only from trees which were grafted from another, and every single McIntosh tree in the world today can be traced back to a single tree which was also a grafted tree.
    That is true for all apples: they are not true from seed. The original Granny Smith was found -- where else -- in Granny Smith's backyard in either NZ or Australia in the 1860's. The Golden Delicious was found in West VA in the 1920's, and until recently was protected by a fence.

    This is why new apples coming to market are in limited suppy. It also explains the huge variety of apples.

  11. #11
    Virgin ZeFrenchy's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    A cripps Pink (pink lady): Sweet, firm and juicy.
    I used to love apples, but I suddenly got intolerant

  12. #12
    The 'Eyes' have it
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    That is true for all apples: they are not true from seed.
    I don't dispute that. What I said was that all of the Mac trees in the world today can be traced back to a single tree on John McIntosh's Ontario farm back in the late 1700s. The McIntosh is truly a Canadian apple.

  13. #13
    In Loving Memory palbert's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by reone View Post
    So what happens when you plant the seeds from an apple? Will the tree that grows from those seeds produce a completely different fruit?
    Yes. Most will not be worth eating. Rarely you will find a gem.

  14. #14
    Are you man enough? unloadonme's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    I'll go for an English Cox any time. Firm and juicy

  15. #15
    In Loving Memory palbert's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by unloadonme View Post
    I'll go for an English Cox any time. Firm and juicy
    Can't blame you.

    But you misspelled cox.

  16. #16
    Are you man enough? unloadonme's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    Can't blame you.

    But you misspelled cox.


    Last edited by unloadonme; January 4th, 2013 at 04:14 PM.

  17. #17
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    I'm not really sure, myself. My buddy here says I'm a Granny Smith, but I really don't think so -- I think I'm a Gala.

    How about you?
    Gravenstein - In some climes we can be had all year long and we produce excellent juice!:-

  18. #18
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    McIntosh all the way; it's the only thing I think of when I think of "apple."






    (okay if Macs have been out of season long enough, i will eat a New Zealand Rose.)

  19. #19
    Booyah! Callum's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Golden Delicious, Pacific Rose or Fuji.
    blacksyringe

  20. #20
    Is the King of JUB Beachguyj's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Pine













    apple
    In his autumn, before the winter, comes man's last mad surge of youth

  21. #21
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    I don't know what 'variety' I'd be but I do know I'd be on a stick, covered in gooey stuff and rolled in nuts.

  22. #22
    Sex God
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Hmm... Braeburn, perhaps? Or maybe a Cortland apple.
    Last edited by jslvr05; January 4th, 2013 at 05:34 PM.
    Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself.
    Go forward and make your dreams come true.
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  23. #23
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    Swellegant's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Crab-apple, I suspect.

    * Question the Dominant Paradigm *

  24. #24
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    System 7.

    Lex

  25. #25
    Reality goggles required Spiff's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    I'm a bad apple

  26. #26
    Sex God Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Red delicious, because i look delicious and taste delicious lol.

  27. #27
    burn baby burn jaysizzles's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Empire...it's a NY thing...
    "Some cause happiness wherever they go, and others, whenever they go..". - Oscar Wilde.

  28. #28
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Green and sour...

  29. #29
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    A self-defense apple, I bite you before you can bite me...



    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  30. #30
    gyros! AlmondMilk's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    honeycrisp
    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

  31. #31
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    Yes. Most will not be worth eating. Rarely you will find a gem.
    But they generally make decent pie apples.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  32. #32
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by SamsDad View Post
    Gravenstein - In some climes we can be had all year long and we produce excellent juice!:-
    I noticed that one's missing from the nice pic. We had three trees of those when I was growing up. They don't have the Airlie, Carolina Red, or Macoun, either.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  33. #33
    Ruminating
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    Honeycrisp.
    Honeycrisp is developed at the University of Minnesota. I believe it is the Minnesota state fruit (and here you thought I was).
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  34. #34
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    After pondering that nice graphic, I've decided I'd probably be a Jonagold or Honeycrisp -- the dual color patterns seem to go well with my bipolar.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  35. #35
    King Of Eternity & Hatred diamondstar's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    A burnt apple pie.
    Eternal youth and endless life. I'll sacrifice everything and everyone to obtain it

  36. #36
    Thankfully Liberal & Gay
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    ^ Burnt. YES!!

    WHY in the hell is it that most stuff, in most places, is cooked so that it is so very, uh...PALE???? Like they're afraid that one single molecule may actually be BURNED, God forbid.

    For those who know what "crispies" are (a very simple confection, when sugar-coated pure dough is baked), both places in Macomb that carry them always offer them very, VERY PALE with the entirely-intact sugar granules on top and not even melted. YECCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once in a while they will fuck up and kind of burn them and the sugar caramelizes and turns brown...OH MY GOD...HOW WONDERFUL!!!! On a scale of 0 to 10, that "fuck up" moves the crispies along the scale at least by an increment of "7." Very close to 10 if the sugar really gets caramelized and they're actually a little burned.

    I talked to the bakers once and they told me that people complained when the crispies were dark and caramelized. I know at least five other people here (out of maybe 10 or 12 total who are in my social circle) who like their cooked stuff a little on the burned side.

    How can them and I be the only people in the entire universe who actually likes their food a little bit burned or crispy?

    WONDERFUL things happen to food when it's browned properly.





    Gala, absolutely YES!!

    Not only is it my favorite apple...but one of the syllables sounds like "GAY." (IF, that is, you're also one of those people who pronounce "data" as "DAY-tuh")
    Last edited by frankfrank; January 4th, 2013 at 10:48 PM.
    BOSS: I'm sorry, but I'll have to lay you and Jack off. SUE: Can you just jack off? I feel like shit today.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

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  37. #37
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    McIntosh? For some reason small apples seems to taste better (personal opinion).

  38. #38
    Thankfully Liberal & Gay
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    SAME thing happens at the same two supermarkets, both of which sell rotisserie whole chickens (CHEAP, excellent bargain for those who want a meat meal on a budget). Almost always, their chickens are VERY PALE, look almost not cooked at all, sometimes even more gray than brown, YUCKIE-POO...

    And likewise, sometimes they will really fuck up, and the chickens will actually be BROWN, and the wings will be DARK brown and very crispy...and, WOW, is it ever yummy then!

    I notice the same thing with something like Ritz Crackers - often those are really pale, but once in a while I'll end up with a box that has ones in it that are actually brown, and holy smokes, those are incredibly wonderful!

    What IS this American fixation of just so very, very barely cooking stuff?

    END OF OFF-TOPIC RANT.
    BOSS: I'm sorry, but I'll have to lay you and Jack off. SUE: Can you just jack off? I feel like shit today.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

    How do you tell the difference
    between a carpenter and a chemist? (A chemist in USA, not British, definition.) Ask them to pronounce unionized.

  39. #39
    Is the King of JUB Beachguyj's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    iPad








    zing
    In his autumn, before the winter, comes man's last mad surge of youth

  40. #40
    Is the King of JUB Beachguyj's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    I would be a "wealthy" never heard of it until I saw that photo, but it looks like a big mcintosh.
    In his autumn, before the winter, comes man's last mad surge of youth

  41. #41
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    Between Granny Smith and Royal Gala...or the oriental crab apple?

    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  42. #42
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    Re: If you were an apple, what variety would you be?

    A rotten one.

    I've only had Red Delicious and Granny Smith apples in my life. Of those two, I prefer the latter.

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