Is withholding the truth as bad as lying?

[Ephemeral]

I was discussing this with my friend and he believed that withholding the truth, be it omitting certain parts of a story or keeping an entire story to yourself, was not as bad as lying. I tried to tell him that it was in fact just as bad because you are deceiving a person. The person believes the deceit to be true, and someone's going to get hurt when they find out it was the half-way truth. It worried me that he could have such a manipulative mentality. I'm wondering: am I right or is he?

[xbuzzerx]

Are you hiding Anne Frank in your attic? No.

If you tell someone where the emergency room is but don't tell them it's closed, yes.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

humans talk a lot
just smile
ans hope they no got woodchipper

thankyou

[refujiunderground]

it depends. sometimes telling the truth can get you into a world of trouble where as lying diverts you away from it. it's all about your reason behind doing it. you tell the truth because you care about someone enough where you feel they have to know it such as coming out the closet. the reasoning is that you care about that person enough to share something very personal about yourself to them. you lie to your boss about not being able to make it to work because you're sick when you're finishing up typing a school paper in order to pass your class. it's wrong that you're lying to your boss but the reasoning behind it is that you want to pass your class. that's understandable. now if you lie about something such as having a life threatening disease such as hiv/aids or a std to a guy that you're interested in dating because you're afraid that he's going to leave you, then that's wrong. if you care about someone that much, you should tell the truth even if you'll lose them. if they care about you as much, they'll stand by you even if they decide not to date you.

i've lied about certain things but i had my reasons for doing it. it may have been because i didn't want to get in trouble, it may have been for my safety, it may have been because i had to finish up on a project or study for an exam or whatever, it may have been because i didn't want this person getting on my case where they're like "we're going to get you a girlfriend" when i wasn't interested in dating any girls or it may have been because i'm afraid how someone might react such as telling my friends that i'm gay. i RARELY lied out of spite or for fun and now that i think of it, i felt really bad in doing so like i lied to this one customer about having a kid or on this other forum about spitting on some chick on the bus becaue she rejected me. that was stupid and i was bored. it's nowhere near as fun as telling the truth. it's that you have to know when to say it and to who most importantly.

[Swellegant]

If the truth materially affects the person from whom you are withholding it, then it is just as bad as lying...worse, in some ways, because you couldn't even be arsed to make up a good lie. Silence when truth is needed is pure laziness.

If you are trying to control whether or not someone likes you, if the truth makes you look bad, or if you are criticizing someone for something you've done yourself, then it's manipulative and/or hypocritical, but not quite the same as lying. It's not good, but it's also human nature to save face and to point out the speck in another's eye while ignoring the plank in one's own. A venal sin at best.

But when it's not the person's business, or it might cause more harm than good (particularly if the person is the judgmental type), then it's a mere practicality. I don't tell my Grandmother half of the things she'd like to know, because she'd either be upset by it or it would embarrass me, and nobody could benefit from the truth. I mean, if she asked me about my porn collection, I'd certainly withhold that information.

[BENDERBOY]

It depends. examples given above.

[RaKroma]

It's like a guy that says I did test negative for HIV but he never asked about Chlamydia so I didn't mention it.

[PreTTy PeTe]

Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

so shut up if you are going to hurt the person.

some brilliant guy wrote this. more people should follow the 12 steps.

[-Xibalba-]

Are you hiding Anne Frank in your attic? No.

If you tell someone where the emergency room is but don't tell them it's closed, yes.

This is what I was thinking but you said it better than I could have. I was going to just say... it all depends on the situation.

[RaKroma]

Emanuel Kant will disagree with all of you.

[PreTTy PeTe]

Emanuel Kant is a tool who would not understand the modern age.

[palbert]

So long as it does not amount to obstruction of justice or interference with prosecution, generally not.

[RaKroma]

How is the need to withholding truths in our days different from 18th century life that he wouldn't understand?

[blackbeltninja]

It all depends on what's being withheld, as Swellegant as described.

-d-

[pat grimshaw]

Depends on the situation. Is this person a doctor?

I believe in people taking responsibility for themselves and not wandering through life like Blanche du Bois and expecting other people to look after them.


(BTW: I hate those whinging Catholics who say everyone must have 'duty of care': Wiki says this so-called 'duty of care' didn't exist before 1990)

[xbuzzerx]

Depends on the situation. Is this person a doctor?

I believe in people taking responsibility for themselves and not wandering through life like Blanche du Bois and expecting other people to look after them.


(BTW: I hate those whinging Catholics who say everyone must have 'duty of care': Wiki says this so-called 'duty of care' didn't exist before 1990)

A "duty of care" exists in the bible without being labelled as such. And it doesn't say "everyone take care of yourself."

[pat grimshaw]

^
Yes, the bible probably says something like "Do Unto Others as You Would Do to Yourself.

I think that's reasonable.

But this modern legal term 'Duty of care' is so patronising and tokenistic and setting up people/governments/companies to be used by spongers, bludgers, the unscrupulous, dishonest and hopeless people like Blanche Du Bois.

[xbuzzerx]

^ Implying a rich, privileged Pharisee in 10 B.C. in Galilee didn't see lepers and prostitutes as spongers, bludgers and the dishonest and hopeless.

[pat grimshaw]

^
I'm sorry I can't respond to that. I gave up the bible at age 14. My mother told me I was old enough to make decisions for myself

[xbuzzerx]

^ Which is entirely true, but saying that the Bible doesn't place an obligation upon its followers to care for their fellow man and not tell them to fend for themselves would be inaccurate.

[Nishin]

Context is always the key

[swerve]

Are you hiding Anne Frank in your attic? No.

If you tell someone where the emergency room is but don't tell them it's closed, yes.

GREAT answer!!!

[mikey3000]

I think you can tell a lot about a person, not from what they tell you, but from what they don't tell you.

[loveguys72]

Depends on the circumstance. There are some truths that are kinder if left unsaid. And, not all lies are created equal.

[youngoutlaw]

Truth is relative to a person, fact is something that is proven. Weird point to start on but anything is the truth in someone's perception of an event etc. I.e. It is the truth if that is what you think you saw or heard.

As others have stated there are certain situations when withholding information will not have negative consequences but then there are occasions when not being entirely honest can have quite serious repercussions. If I'm asked to tell the truth and I know it will hurt I usually start with "Do you want the real truth or the truth that will spare your feelings?". In normal circumstances it's best to tell all the facts and not withhold anything.

[borg69unimatrix]

I agree that it's in the context of the lie, or omission.

There's a vast difference between lying and omitting the truth about:

"Do these pants make me look fat?"

and

"Are you cheating on me?"

In either case, you can lie, or omit the truth, but the circumstances are greatly different.

I also believe lies are primarily to cover one's OWN ASS, and rarely to spare the other person.

[CupidBoy]

No, of course not.

[Harke the Boeotarch]

I was discussing this with my friend and he believed that withholding the truth, be it omitting certain parts of a story or keeping an entire story to yourself, was not as bad as lying. I tried to tell him that it was in fact just as bad because you are deceiving a person. The person believes the deceit to be true, and someone's going to get hurt when they find out it was the half-way truth. It worried me that he could have such a manipulative mentality. I'm wondering: am I right or is he?

Obvious closet queen is obvious... is that where this theoretical situation is situated?

Otherwise, I give up this guessing game and demand you tell us what this is all about, OP (if anything).

[star-warrior]

Lol @ bible. Imagine the likes of Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Sandman, Jack Frost and the Boogey Man.

Sounds like a rather enjoyable cartoon I watched on Boxing Day.



Besides, the truth is overrated sometimes, and sometimes, it is also a matter of perspective.

[Harke the Boeotarch]

^ Santa Claus was a real person.

[star-warrior]

^ Santa Claus was a real person.

Great to hear. Still waiting for my xmas present.

[Beachguyj]

In general it's not as bad. Like New Order said, "ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies".

When I had a real bad back problem with a herniated disk (basically immobile and bed bound for a week and walking with a cane for a month) I didn't tell my father because I didn't want to worry him or for him to travel 1300 miles to come help me. So in general I don't like to tell people things that they don't want to hear as long as it doesn't affect them.

Another example is that my former friends dog bit him on the lip and he needed stitches. I think it was by mistake anyway he got in the dogs face and the dog barked at him and caught his lip with his tooth. So he tells his mother and his mother tells him that he should give the dog away. If it was me no one in my family would know. By the way it's really the greatest dog I ever met.

[HunterM]

While playing poker...I tend to tell everyone at the table all the cards I have.

[HunterM]

I demand the government to broadcast their daily anti-terrorism tactics/plans to the world. That way Al Qaeda would have a much better chance in bombing/killing western targets.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

I demand the government to broadcast their daily anti-terrorism tactics/plans to the world. That way Al Qaeda would have a much better chance in bombing/killing western targets.

urm well etc so on bit more etc ans
anytime world folk play govermints ans Co ans da nice public luv da game of it
rewrite history ans obvious
not say cause sure UNIeees world ova got a sorts it alls out eons

maybe even look word hetrosexual fa side ordas wot world luv take out in or unda etc so on ans lot a thang

* back shoe polishin *
ooh
% ma shoe was a blue %
now it glowin red got good hands warma nows
* warm hands *
% ooh how cleva %
1 a try unda da ya nose

thankyou

[loosingyourmind]

lying is way worse in my opinion, ''withholding'' is just choosing which part of the story that person should know.

[Str8Top14701]

Best response on here. Says it all. Though I would add not saying yes when your spouse asks if their clothes make them look fat. There's no good answer, ever.

[eastofeden]

I was discussing this with my friend and he believed that withholding the truth, be it omitting certain parts of a story or keeping an entire story to yourself, was not as bad as lying. I tried to tell him that it was in fact just as bad because you are deceiving a person. The person believes the deceit to be true, and someone's going to get hurt when they find out it was the half-way truth. It worried me that he could have such a manipulative mentality. I'm wondering: am I right or is he?

I agree with your friend 100%....and I know from experience.

I used to be one of those people that would tell you EVERYTHING I was thinking. Well...You know the people who say they want total honesty? LOLOLOLOL What a load of crap that is. I cannot tell you how many times I had to pay for telling someone what I really thought. It would take me at least a week at the keyboard. I have spent a lifetime trying to reign it in. It hasn't worked very well though. I still tell people who I really like or care about the truth but I do it with caution...I will tell them the amount of truth they allow me to. When I know they can't handle it...I stop...and try again later

[youngoutlaw]

Best response on here. Says it all. Though I would add not saying yes when your spouse asks if their clothes make them look fat. There's no good answer, ever.

Don't know about that. Telling them they get more beautiful every day is a good cop-out. The two preferred responses: 1. Aww thank you or 2. You are such a liar but it was so nice of you to lie to me. My personal favourite was when an ex-girlfriend, from my hetro/denial days, replied "That's lovely to hear but you're not getting away from the question that easy."

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

wot is got a be hard fa awsums public like web a googoo fa lands so sinks ins shit a grey ans disney toon poo fa eons

lucky folk nose where planet is or they right buggarads
* it center universe *
& nah it move ta no 456 cumalot manavue &
" it up his butt "

gali do ya le ooooooo
* get ma scope out *
ooh dat so lonnnnnng ans bigggggggg
* mind self got swing it about *
jump - sure no wanna warm it up bit?
* get da cova off *
sure
* no not dat way *
ooh
* see just pop off *
ooh so quick
* aye ayeeeeeeeeeeee wot dat? *
they at it again ins da vines say hi ta joey
* NOO UP THEREEEEEEEE it it gasssssssp ----- *
sumthang cumin?

episdoe 2 follows afta few hundred years

gassp was perfrom by a male gaspin trio
* arrrrrrrrrrrrrr * < syeeeeeeee
wot think this pic he latest in Ipods
* aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *

thankyou

ya legal rights ta sye is not a sponges by this post

[youfiad]

This is entirely dependant on the consequences of your silence. Glad I could solve this problem *Oftah*