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  1. #1
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Rate my short story


    "Look mister, I don't normally let door-to-door salesmen in my house, so if you're really going to pay me $25 to demonstrate that organic anal soap on me, you need to hurry up. Because that organic vitamin pill you gave me is starting to make me sleepy for some reason, and I don't have time to listen to your sales pitch before I go to sleep."

    "Okay, no problem, just keep your butt cheeks spread apart and I'll get the soap ready to apply right now."

    "Also, I'm TOTALLY straight. So if you're gay, please don't try to finger fuck me while you're rubbing that soap on my anus."

    "Not to worry, I'm completely straight as well, and no penetration of your anus will be involved in this demo. Butt like I said earlier, I'll need to rub your anus and the area surrounding it for 5 full minutes in order for you to receive the full benefits of the organic cleansing compounds in this formula. And to apply it properly, I won't be wearing any gloves."

    "No problem, I just need some gas money, so you can rub peanut butter on my asshole for all I care."

    "Oh really? I just happen to have a jar of organic peanut butter in my sample case. So I tell you what, after I've applied the soap and wiped it off with wet paper towels, I'll pay you an additional $25 if you let me rub some of my peanut butter on your anus...does that sound like a plan?"

    "Sounds good to me, butt if you want to lick it off it's going to cost you another $100."

    "Deal."

    "Huh? I was actually just kidding...I thought you said you're straight!"

    "I am straight...it's just that I've always wanted to experience the sensation of licking peanut butter off a man's anus to see what it's like, as opposed to doing it for some kind of perverted sexual gratification."

    "Well, in that case, I'll let you do it for the $100...butt just for 5 minutes."

    "Hmm, butt 5 minutes doesn't seem very long for $100. I tell you what, since you said you're sleepy, lets go to your room so you can lay down on your bed. Then I'll give you a relaxing butt massage that's guaranteed to put you to sleep within 2 minutes. And after that, I'll lick between your buttocks for 20 minutes, or until you wake up...whichever cums first. Is that alright with you?"

    "Hmm, butt I'm a heavy sleeper, and what if I don't wake up for several hours...does that mean you'll be licking my butt all that time?"

    "Sure, butt I doubt you can sleep that long while your butt is being rimmed."

    Well, okay...I guess that's fair. Butt just don't lick my dick, because that's for girls only."

    "Oh gawd, I would never lick another man's penis...only a homosexual would do that! Butt is it okay if I spread your legs apart and lick your balls if I pay you an extra $25? Because that's something I've always wanted to experience, since my tongue can't reach my own scrotum."

    "Hmm, this is starting to sound kind of kinky, butt since you're not gay...I guess it's alright."


    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  2. #2
    Unplugged .... justaguy's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    I like it Ron. I rate it highly. When is Part II?

  3. #3
    ecce homo rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Well I gave it 4/5 stars because it is going to get bounced out of this forum once the mods see the pic of that creamy boy's ass.

    I like reciprocity...and the jizz shot.....so that is why I'm withholding the other star.

  4. #4
    The gay gargoyle
    G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    You wrote it, which makes it a 10.

    Lex

  5. #5
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by justaguy View Post
    I like it Ron. I rate it highly. When is Part II?
    Thanks justaguy... Part II is buried somewhere in my warped imagination.

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Well I gave it 4/5 stars because it is going to get bounced out of this forum once the mods see the pic of that creamy boy's ass.

    I like reciprocity...and the jizz shot.....so that is why I'm withholding the other star.
    Thanks rareboy... Butt fortunately, only penis pictures are prohibited in HT.


    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  6. #6
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    You wrote it, which makes it a 10.

    Lex
    Thanks Lex, here's a couple of ice cream cookie sandwiches as a token of my appreciation for your kind words...



    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  7. #7
    Slippery When Wet
    swerve's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Well -- it is a VERY ordinary story of a straight guy selling his products to another straight guy...

    Just another day in the life...

    But -- since you wrote it with FLAIR -- I would rate it 5 out of 5!!!

    "Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it..." Goethe

  8. #8
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp
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    Re: Rate my short story

    well

    is very happy fa youyou

    thankyou
    space a final frontears beatween human ape ears"but wot aboot?" sssssh"
    now ta bamba_bambabambabamba_easy innit

  9. #9
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by swerve View Post
    Well -- it is a VERY ordinary story of a straight guy selling his products to another straight guy...

    Just another day in the life...

    But -- since you wrote it with FLAIR -- I would rate it 5 out of 5!!!

    Thanks for recognizing my flair, swerve. Please accept this freshly made pecan pie for your kind words. Sorry, I already ate some of it, though...




    Quote Originally Posted by SLOPPYSECONDS View Post
    well

    is very happy fa youyou

    thankyou
    Thanks Sloppy, please accept this pet chicken as a gift from me, which will lay you an imaginary fresh egg every morning...



    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  10. #10
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    Scotty0323's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    I found your story entertaining and wel worth a fantasy or two, especially with the photo you provided to jump start my imagination. Which doesn't take much to get going, since I visit this site. I too am awaiting part II, so get that warped imagination behind a keyboard and let's see how things go with the peanut butter! Yummy!

  11. #11
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by Scotty0323 View Post
    I found your story entertaining and wel worth a fantasy or two, especially with the photo you provided to jump start my imagination. Which doesn't take much to get going, since I visit this site. I too am awaiting part II, so get that warped imagination behind a keyboard and let's see how things go with the peanut butter! Yummy!
    Thanks Scotty, the site of the model's anal area jump started my tongue, so I knew he was perfect for this story. Please accept this peanut butter banana sandwich for your kind words...



    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  12. #12
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    Re: Rate my short story

    five stars, i love your stories

  13. #13
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Thanks Ron! Let's smear that on his ass and I'll lick it off with you!

  14. #14
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by 62624rd View Post
    five stars, i love your stories
    Thanks 62624rd, please accept this slice of creamy orange ice cream pie for your kind words...




    Quote Originally Posted by Scotty0323 View Post
    Thanks Ron! Let's smear that on his ass and I'll lick it off with you!
    Sounds like a plan, we can take turns going back and forth between his balls and anus, so he's getting them worked on at the same time.


    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  15. #15
    Young at Heart ravenstar's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    You, my house, now, I've already taken an organic vitamin pill.


  16. #16
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by ravenstar View Post
    You, my house, now, I've already taken an organic vitamin pill.


    Hehe, I'll bring the cherry pie...



    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  17. #17
    johaninsc
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    Re: Rate my short story

    wonderful story, Ron

    ...and beautifully illustrated too

  18. #18
    Sex God MrRochesterNY's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    I gained five pounds just reading this thread.

    P.S. No pastries for me, just a diet pill.

  19. #19
    The gay gargoyle
    G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by RonR18 View Post
    Thanks Lex, here's a couple of ice cream cookie sandwiches as a token of my appreciation for your kind words...

    Nice! If you gave me three, Id'a gotten into that position for you. Not that you'd want me in that position, but now you know how to get me there if you want.

    Lex

  20. #20
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by johaninsc View Post
    wonderful story, Ron

    ...and beautifully illustrated too
    Thanks johan...please accept this delicious slice of peach pie for your kind words...




    Quote Originally Posted by MrRochesterNY View Post
    I gained five pounds just reading this thread.

    P.S. No pastries for me, just a diet pill.
    Sorry for the weight gain, MrRochester. Although I'm out of diet pills, please accept this rubber chicken since you can't gain any weight from eating it. ...




    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    Nice! If you gave me three, Id'a gotten into that position for you. Not that you'd want me in that position, but now you know how to get me there if you want.

    Lex
    Here's 4 cookies...I'll FedEx my penis post haste so it can have it's way with you before you change your mind.




    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

  21. #21
    The gay gargoyle
    G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    That's four. I get in a different position for four.

    Lex

  22. #22
    Inactive RonR18's Avatar
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    Re: Rate my short story

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    That's four. I get in a different position for four.

    Lex
    Getting on two hands and two knees= four cookies.


    "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
    ~ Robert Benchley

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