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  1. #1
    animalius
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    Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Ok, a little background.

    Some time ago, I moved back home because my folks went out of the country and planned to stay there for a while. They'll be back some time in April. Anyway, we just had a convo over the phone and they just came up with a plan. So, when they come back they want to move to Indiana where property tax is significantly lower so they can enjoy their retirement better. But they don't want to lose this house because it was the first new house they bought for our family.

    They want to sell it to me.

    It's a two story house with finished walk-out basement, 5 bedrooms, yard with a forest behind the house, etc. It was designed for 7 people (my family). Nowadays, all my brothers and sisters are married and are living all over the country. And for a while I was living a few hours away.

    Anyway, my honey and I were thinking of getting a place a lot smaller than this one. But woohoo if we can get a place like this. And with parents in another state, there's really no danger of clashes I suppose.

    Right now, I'm leaning toward accepting their offer. They'll sell it to me for super cheap compared to what the current market value is for this property. Plus it's also the house I grew up in. Perfect place to raise kids, actually.

    Anyway, any way this could be a bad idea?

  2. #2
    JUB Addict RaKroma's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    It all depends on how your family is. Are your parents control freaks that might use this sale to manipulate you later? Will they leave you alone or have some attachment and entitlement feeling to the house that they might interfere with your life?

  3. #3
    BENDERBOY
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Your siblings might think you've done them out of their inheritance, especially if you get the place for a song.

  4. #4
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Is there a mortgage? Will there be a new one; or will your parents hold a carry-back?

    How will you determine fair market value for tax purposes?

    You might be advised to talk to an accountant about the tax consequences.

  5. #5
    loki81
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    it's all down to how you and your partner feel about it.

    personally, I could never imagine living in my parents house, but that's just me. they know this, and their will is setup so that when they die, either the house gets sold outright and my sister and I split the money, or if one of us wants to live in it, the other has to buy out their half.

  6. #6
    @ The House of Grimshaw pat grimshaw's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    It was designed for 7 people. What will you do with all the unused space?

    (BTW: People in India sleep seven to a room.)

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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Your siblings might think you've done them out of their inheritance, especially if you get the place for a song.
    Exactly--would only be fair if you were an only child.

  8. #8
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by pat grimshaw View Post
    It was designed for 7 people. What will you do with all the unused space?

    (BTW: People in India sleep seven to a room.)
    He can make a fortune renting to groups from India.

  9. #9
    Young at Heart ravenstar's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    It's his parents home and if they plan to sell it and buy another home, that home becomes the inheritance, not the existing property.

    Get everything drawn up legally, and frankly if I were you I'd pay market value for 2 reasons. Firstly you don't want to be seen to gip your parents in their retirement. They own the house and they should get fair market value for it.

    Secondly, as others have mentioned, siblings tend to get pissy if one of them is seen to benefit more than the others from the inheritance thing. Although frankly you're parents can do whatever they like with their estate.

  10. #10
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Some years after my father died, my mother was having financial difficulties. The only asset she had was her home and she was having difficulty keeping it up. We had a family meeting with everyone favoring that my mother sell the house and property and move into an apartment and live off the proceeds. My mother did not want to move. My partner and I offered to buy her place and let her remain there for as long as she wanted with us taking care of the upkeep. No one objected. Eventually, we tore down the house and built a rambler for my mother to live in. We supported her financially the rest of her life. No other siblings offered a dime to her care and living expenses.
    When she died, some of my brothers wanted to know what would happen to "her home". I told them they could buy it from me if they wanted. No one did.

    I suggest you have a family meeting so that everyone can express their opinions at the outset. This does not mean there won't be complaints down the line, but as long as everything is done legally, you are OK.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  11. #11
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    I agree with ravenstar and sixthson. Maybe some other member of your family may wish to have the home too. In which case, you all need to come to an understanding.


  12. #12
    animalius
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Trust me, guys, my siblings would never fight over something like this. It's just not the way our family works. Case in point, when my grandma died, she left everything to my aunt (mom's older sister). Then one day my mom got a call from my aunt. She wanted to talk. I was a teen back then, so I went along with my mom. My aunt told my mom she wanted to sell the property and give my mom half of the money. My mom asked "are you sure?" and my aunt said yes. Keep in mind that my aunt had all the legal papers and everything.

    Our family just doesn't fight over something like this. We don't fight, period.

    Besides, my brothers and sister are doing very well. They don't need anything. If Obama wins and taxes are raised for families making 250k or more, all my my brothers and sisters will see an increase in their taxes.

    It's just not the case at all that they will be jealous or any of that. Won't be a problem at all.

  13. #13
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Then there is only one thing you need to ask yourself. Do you like the house enough to own it? Don't buy it for sentimental reasons.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  14. #14
    veni, vidi, reliqui
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    hahahahahaha

    This can't end well.

    Do it.

    Fuck your Sibs.

    From what you've said they are toxic poiison anyway,

  15. #15
    veni, vidi, reliqui
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    It was designed for 7 people. What will you do with all the unused space?

    (BTW: People in India sleep seven to a room.)
    Whatever, Grimshaw.

    Our house was built for at least 7.

    Do you realize how much room homos take up?

    I'm sure you could fit at least 28 Indians in your flat?

    And why did you zoom in on Indians?

    The Inuit also could get a lot of folks inside an igloo.
    Last edited by rareboy; December 30th, 2012 at 04:38 PM.

  16. #16
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Trust me, guys, my siblings would never fight over something like this. It's just not the way our family works. Case in point, when my grandma died, she left everything to my aunt (mom's older sister). Then one day my mom got a call from my aunt. She wanted to talk. I was a teen back then, so I went along with my mom. My aunt told my mom she wanted to sell the property and give my mom half of the money. My mom asked "are you sure?" and my aunt said yes. Keep in mind that my aunt had all the legal papers and everything.

    Our family just doesn't fight over something like this. We don't fight, period.

    Besides, my brothers and sister are doing very well. They don't need anything. If Obama wins and taxes are raised for families making 250k or more, all my my brothers and sisters will see an increase in their taxes.

    It's just not the case at all that they will be jealous or any of that. Won't be a problem at all.
    Then buy the house if that is what you and partner wants.

    FYI, My family is the same way.
    I told my parents to give the house to the siblings that are still living there.
    My parents put the house in a trust and all siblings are trustees, but the house can't
    be sold unless all of us agree. One of my brothers or sister dies, then he/her family have no say no claim.
    In-laws, nieces and nephews are cut out.
    Only siblings have a say if they are alive.

  17. #17
    animalius
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    hahahahahaha

    This can't end well.

    Do it.

    Fuck your Sibs.

    From what you've said they are toxic poiison anyway,
    Huh? Please explain what you think is happening.

  18. #18
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    I've found that in some families, siblings may be ok, but it's their spouses that might be the source of disharmony. My cousins' wives hate each other, even though the cousins get along, for example.

    In the end, it's your decision, but, personally, the family home might be viewed as something that has a common legacy for all your siblings and over time, someone might get disgruntled because you're going to change it to how you would like the decor and personal taste. I'd decline the honour of owning the family home, and look for something else, break free from that. Your folks ought to sell it off conscience free, just tell them it's much too big for you and your partner. I'm sure they'll understand, unless your parents are expecting you to sire offspring, or adopt.


  19. #19
    JUB Addict voyager1994's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    If you accept their offer and buy your family house as if you're buying a house from someone else - i.e. clear contract/agreements on the sale (covering price, house conditions/pre inspection, financing/mortgage payments, purchase/sale obligations of buyer/seller, etc.), I don't think that should be a problem.

    You shouldn't buy it though if you really believe it's way too big for your needs (unless you intend to sell it later and downgrade) - even if the sale price of an alternative smaller house now in the neighbourhood is about the same as your parents' offer, you still have to think about the maintenance and running costs once you move in.

  20. #20
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    I think it is a wonderful return to the tradition of a "family property." I would have jumped at the chance to buy my grandparents' homes.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  21. #21
    @ The House of Grimshaw pat grimshaw's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by star-warrior View Post
    …siblings may be ok, but it's their spouses that might be the source of disharmony. My cousins' wives hate each other…
    Yes. I think that's not uncommon, especially if there's sexual or financial jealousy.

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    …I'm sure you could fit at least 28 Indians in your flat?…And why did you zoom in on Indians?…
    I'm zooming in on them because they're so much in the news at the moment and Bankside says we should be as one with them.

    Quote Originally Posted by sixthson View Post
    …we tore down the house and built a rambler for my mother to live in…
    I couldn't see 'rambler' in the dictionary. Is it a single-storey house for the mobility-impaired?

    Quote Originally Posted by sixthson View Post
    … My mother did not want to move…
    I can well believe that. I'm investigating the idea of subdividing the family home. My government's medical and taxation authorities are trying hard to allow the elderly to stay in their homes because so many of the elderly lose the will to live when their spouse dies or if they're forced out of the family home.

  22. #22
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    A similar discussion was brought up this past holiday weekend. My parents don't want to sell their house and want to do the 6 months on, 6 months off thing in retirement. Their "winter" home would be in Florida near my dad's sister. They basically offered to transfer the deed to me and for me to live in at the house in the winter and live somewhere else in the summer. I am seriously considering their offer too.

  23. #23
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    I have a different question. How do you think your parents will react when you start to make changes the house to make it your own?

    But, overall I'd say go for it.

  24. #24
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    I couldn't see 'rambler' in the dictionary. Is it a single-storey house for the mobility-impaired?
    [/QUOTE]

    Yes, ranch style, one level with a full basement. My mother was physically fit when we built the house, but we anticipated her future needs. Since we are such a large family and she hosted most holidays, she needed big rooms, but not a second floor, since she had very few over night guests. It was a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house and she thought the second bathroom was excessive. Ha.
    Her happiest days were there.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by ravenstar View Post
    It's his parents home and if they plan to sell it and buy another home, that home becomes the inheritance, not the existing property.

    Get everything drawn up legally, and frankly if I were you I'd pay market value for 2 reasons. Firstly you don't want to be seen to gip your parents in their retirement. They own the house and they should get fair market value for it.

    Secondly, as others have mentioned, siblings tend to get pissy if one of them is seen to benefit more than the others from the inheritance thing. Although frankly you're parents can do whatever they like with their estate.
    Superb advice.

    You can set up a plan with low interest and a price-reduction clause if any serious repairs become needed that no one expects, but definitely go with market price -- or use the government's assessed price, if that's lower (not likely, at the moment).

    If I could afford to buy my mom's house, I'd go for it, even though it has more space than I need. If nothing else, I could rent a room to someone fun to have around.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

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  26. #26
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Sounds good to me. Since it's where you grow up I am sure you will have a lot of stories to tell your kids when you are starting a family.

  27. #27
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    If you and your partner like the house, go for it. I would have loved to buy my parent's house, but it wasn't meant to be.

  28. #28
    JWaggy
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Anyway, any way this could be a bad idea?
    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Trust me, guys, my siblings would never fight over something like this. It's just not the way our family works. Case in point, when my grandma died, she left everything to my aunt (mom's older sister). Then one day my mom got a call from my aunt. She wanted to talk. I was a teen back then, so I went along with my mom. My aunt told my mom she wanted to sell the property and give my mom half of the money. My mom asked "are you sure?" and my aunt said yes. Keep in mind that my aunt had all the legal papers and everything.

    Our family just doesn't fight over something like this. We don't fight, period.

    Besides, my brothers and sister are doing very well. They don't need anything. If Obama wins and taxes are raised for families making 250k or more, all my my brothers and sisters will see an increase in their taxes.

    It's just not the case at all that they will be jealous or any of that. Won't be a problem at all.
    What other problems could there be, if it's not possible for your family members to dislike the idea?

  29. #29
    JUB Addict The Fly's Avatar
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    Re: Buying parents' home, what do you think?

    No matter what you do, it will allways be your parents house, regardless of where your parents live.

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