advice for a first timer?

[njcollegekid]

so im a 20 year old guy in college, bi but not out, and have never done anything with a guy. i figure, i should really get around to trying it; but have no idea where to start or what to do. any advice?
sorry if the post is vague, not really sure where im going with this...

[jensu846]

is this going to be with a friend of a complete stranger?? If your going to find someone online you dont know him, then I would suggest bringing condoms with you and let someone else know where you at. You dont have to say its for sex, just let your friend know where youll be at for safety reasons. theres plenty of hookup sites, adam4adam, manhunt, grindr, growlr are the ones that seem to be the best for me. Craigslist is a crapshoot, you can get some real nuts on there, so if you have too use it, just be careful and maybe meet in a public area.

Now if this guy is a friend, well then, just go with the flow, still with condoms, and have fun experimenting.. get in there and have fun!
maybe some more info would help us out on where your at with this.

[mrbeebs]

do you want to top or bottom?

[njcollegekid]

is this going to be with a friend of a complete stranger?? If your going to find someone online you dont know him, then I would suggest bringing condoms with you and let someone else know where you at. You dont have to say its for sex, just let your friend know where youll be at for safety reasons. theres plenty of hookup sites, adam4adam, manhunt, grindr, growlr are the ones that seem to be the best for me. Craigslist is a crapshoot, you can get some real nuts on there, so if you have too use it, just be careful and maybe meet in a public area.

Now if this guy is a friend, well then, just go with the flow, still with condoms, and have fun experimenting.. get in there and have fun!
maybe some more info would help us out on where your at with this.

no, this would likely be with a stranger. i dont know anyone who i would hookup with/would hookup with me.
ill browse those sites. honestly it will probably be weeks before i build up the confidence to actually message anyone.

do you want to top or bottom?

no clue. never tried either, but would be willing to try both. i guess it would depend on the person really, some people id prefer to top, others i might want to bottom for.

[BiMike]

no, this would likely be with a stranger. i dont know anyone who i would hookup with/would hookup with me.
ill browse those sites. honestly it will probably be weeks before i build up the confidence to actually message anyone.


no clue. never tried either, but would be willing to try both. i guess it would depend on the person really, some people id prefer to top, others i might want to bottom for.

Suggest if it is a first time with no experience with other guys go for an on-line contact. Keep away from top/bottom stuff until you have some experience with other guys. Just go for some one like yourself looking for some sexual fun. Anal takes preparation and could go all wrong also carries more risk. Best of luck in finding some one who just wants a bit of fun !

[njcollegekid]

thanks for everyones advice. hooked up with 2 different people since then. and im meeting one of them for a round 2 soon.

[Seasoned]

Best wishes to you! Stay safe.

[snapon]

thanks for everyones advice. hooked up with 2 different people since then. and im meeting one of them for a round 2 soon.

Nice man, i've been to chicken shit to meet anyone from online yet :/

[Brian Smith]

Okay, if you want cheap and easy sex, there is one thing I need to tell you first, before I say anything else: for the love of holy Christ, please wear a rubber, and make the other guy wear one. Rubber is cheap.

Anyway, if you want to get some cheap gay sex, Craigslist.com is one possibility. You can also get the Grindr app downloaded on your iPhone. You might also want to look on the bathroom walls at your university library: the hook-up offers in there are often for real, if sometimes out-dated. Getting a hook-up is really relatively easy.

Now, if you are looking to start a genuine romantic relationship, that is a little bit more difficult.

I see you've already been doing some amount of cruising, though, so, like many people will tell you, please be safe.

[njcollegekid]

dont worry guys, ill only ever do it safe. my parents are paranoid doctors, and have been sending me for STD tests since i was in high school and before i was even sexually active with either sex.
craigslist scares me for some reason. i looked on there before i posted here, didnt like it. random posts up and down with lots of people saying they are free for the next few hours; im sorry but i dont feel comfortable going to meet some random person from the net without at least a few texts/ims back and forth to get a feel of what they are like.

[DmitriyEM]

Staying clear of anal is a good piece of advice. Condoms do break if you don't use them properly and my first time bottoming which was my second sexual experience, the condom ended up breaking so....I would suggest that you don't go very far with a complete stranger. Most of the time my approach to hookups is to get naked kiss and jo with a guy the first time, as well as have an honest conversation about his hiv status. Afterwards if I like him I'll call him again and slowly go further.

Btw the guy who the condom broke with ended up telling me afterwards that he isn't always safe, and even though the condom broke early on and we realized it, stopped and put another one on, it still gave me a scare and the HIV specialists put me on nPEP for a month in the event that I was indeed exposed to hiv. So word of advice: take things slow.

[Rolyo85]

Um, you do know how absolutely minimal the risk of infection is in the circumstances you describe, right?

[njcollegekid]

i do know that condoms are not 100% functional. but i am yet to do anal anyway.

so i got an interesting story. been talking to this guy for a week or so. he seems into me, gives me tons of compliments, tells me hes hard when hes texting me, etc. today we finally meet, he chose the movies. we talk before the movie, and then during the trailers we make out. he moves my hand to his dick, so i figure why not and give him a handjob. took him about 45sec to cum. right after he tells me he didnt enjoy it and at least now he knows he doesnt like guys. didnt argue with him, but wtf. if you cum in under 60 seconds of a guy touching your dick right after making out with him, you DO like guys, RIGHT? and i dont know how you can say you dont enjoy something if you cum. that surge of oxytocin is the working definition of 'liking'. but whatever.

[Rolyo85]

Typical closet case in denial. Post-orgasm guilt is so boring...

[njcollegekid]

last weeks criminal minds had that as part of the killers psychology. mentioned how some peoples seratonin levels plummet right after orgasm, and cause a feeling of guilt or depression.
wonder if that is related to this guy.

i mean, i am closeted. but, i accept myself. view none of this as wrong, or bad, and have 0 issues with myself or my bisexuality. i understand selfloathing though. during mid school and early high school had issues with depression. the only thing i hated more than the people i knew was myself (though not specifically for my orientation, just hated everything. was always angry and sad). took a few years for my rents (who have med training and told me they recognized some signs of depression in me since i was five) to finally decide i may need a specialist. 20mg of SSRIs later, im an arrogant **** like everyone else.
at the time i was irritated that he was seriously pulling that crap. but now i just feel bad for him and wish i could help him.

[jensu846]

I wouldnt be surprised if that theater guy called you again in the future next time he is horny and wants to see if hes into guys again.

[niccolo1]

When you are ready just enjoy the ride and be safe always.

[jarib1]

Just be safe always when the right time comes.