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  1. #51
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    I was a bit bugged when I was left for a pretty girl but can't force love now can we?

  2. #52

    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Scealle View Post
    I was a bit bugged when I was left for a pretty girl but can't force love now can we?
    Why,pumpkin?

  3. #53
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    As you have mentioned I felt a bit used like a toy. And a bit silly for me to get involved with such mess in the first place.

  4. #54
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    I believe that a key element in this debate is the fact that bisexual people do not belong to the two groups that society views as "integral" to the definition of sexual orientation: in short, they are somewhere in the middle between homosexual and heterosexual, without ever truly "belonging" to either community. Thus, since they cannot be easily defined by traits or qualities linked to a specific group, they are regarded as anomalous in their behaviour, incapable of integration and potentially deceitful.

    While I imagine that this can be very painful, it is also undeniable that there is an element of truth in every stereotype - in fact, stereotypes are born from communal behaviours that are prevalent enough to be exaggerated and systematically used to define entire communities, both negatively and positively. However, in the case of bisexual people these stereotypes are magnified because of the perceived "otherness" of their sexual orientation, especially in the case of men. Bisexual women are treated less harshly because, in our patriarchal society, their sexuality is viewed as just an accessory to male sexuality. No matter what they do, perceive or feel, women are considered to be there to serve men. Only women who defy notions of proper femininity (they cultivate a manly appearance, seek power or non-sexually conditioned attention) are punished by society. Women who comply with the "desirable-submissive-happily inferior" concept of femininity, are viewed as lacking power and thus, they don't pose a threat to anyone.

    Men, on the other hand, have it harder. Not being fully heterosexual is shameful because men who are attracted to other males, betray their self-appointed superiority by being "feminized", which is shameful because women are considered to be inferior. On the opposite side, the gay community has had to fight very hard to achieve visibility and lend validity to the idea that homosexuality is not a learned behaviour that one deliberately chooses to engage in, or the result of corruption.

    Bisexual people, who can selectively enter both worlds, are seen as giving arguments to those who think that same-sex attraction is just an abnormal whim, or a sign of indecency. Half-homosexual, the heterosexuals view them as potentially deviant sexual predators who are incapable of honouring a "formal" relationship and complying with acceptable models of emotional and sexual interaction. Half-heterosexual, the homosexuals view them as exploitative sexual predators who can enjoy the best aspects of being gay, while rapidly retreating to comfort of straight relationships when things become intense, complicated, or potentially conflictive. Thus, they are bound to be rejected by everyone.

    This is undeniably sad and unfair, but it's also true that these views, no matter how negative, are based on reality - obviously, not everyone's reality, but a reality frequent enough to create very negative perceptions nonetheless. Challenging these perceptions can only be achieved through increased visibility, showing everyone that bisexuality is not subjected to generalized moral imperatives, but individual behaviours. There are despicable people everywhere, even though societal pressures do play a very important role in the relationships that bisexual people have with the other two groups. Could it be possible to say that bisexual people are, often, cornered into hiding their true desires out of fear of rejection and isolation? I think it is. Society is very cruel with those who are different, and prejudice is a driving factor for many interactions. It's also true that, being in the middle, they may never completely rid themselves of the 'they can go the other way at any moment' cliche.

    With this said, I think that women would be more likely to date a bisexual man, because women are conditioned to be more forgiving and accepting - even when being forgiving and accepting is painful and damaging to them. Also, as someone already mentioned, women are taught to hope they can change the men they enter in relationships with. Men are not taught to tolerate, in most cases. Women are taught to sacrifice themselves for the sake of a relationship, because they are derided and pitied if they don't have a man in their lives. "Alone" is a synonym of "failure" for women.

    Gay men might be willing to sporadically have intercourse with these men, but the idea of making extreme concessions isn't something that most would accept (nor should anyone, no matter what sexual orientation might be). No one likes to feel like they are being used to pass the time until that socially acceptable partner turns up. This tends to elicit great anger among gay people, rather than resentment or jealousy (?) over the fact that bisexual people can blend into heterosexuality without problems. Equally, no one likes to be told that their sexual orientation makes them less deserving of love or acceptance - there are bisexual men out there who genuinely believe that they are better than gay men because they can potentially enter heterosexual relationships, and shamelessly objectify homosexual people. While biphobia seems to be prevalent among many, which is unfortunate, many people also seem to be overlooking the fact that some bisexual people are rabidly homophobic themselves.

    Educating people in theoretical principles is an important matter, but only exposure, respect and honesty can ultimately be used to bring acceptance for misunderstood communities, in my opinion.

  5. #55

    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrusek81 View Post
    I believe that a key element in this debate is the fact that bisexual people do not belong to the two groups that society views as "integral" to the definition of sexual orientation: in short, they are somewhere in the middle between homosexual and heterosexual, without ever truly "belonging" to either community. Thus, since they cannot be easily defined by traits or qualities linked to a specific group, they are regarded as anomalous in their behaviour, incapable of integration and potentially deceitful.

    While I imagine that this can be very painful, it is also undeniable that there is an element of truth in every stereotype - in fact, stereotypes are born from communal behaviours that are prevalent enough to be exaggerated and systematically used to define entire communities, both negatively and positively. However, in the case of bisexual people these stereotypes are magnified because of the perceived "otherness" of their sexual orientation, especially in the case of men. Bisexual women are treated less harshly because, in our patriarchal society, their sexuality is viewed as just an accessory to male sexuality. No matter what they do, perceive or feel, women are considered to be there to serve men. Only women who defy notions of proper femininity (they cultivate a manly appearance, seek power or non-sexually conditioned attention) are punished by society. Women who comply with the "desirable-submissive-happily inferior" concept of femininity, are viewed as lacking power and thus, they don't pose a threat to anyone.

    Men, on the other hand, have it harder. Not being fully heterosexual is shameful because men who are attracted to other males, betray their self-appointed superiority by being "feminized", which is shameful because women are considered to be inferior. On the opposite side, the gay community has had to fight very hard to achieve visibility and lend validity to the idea that homosexuality is not a learned behaviour that one deliberately chooses to engage in, or the result of corruption.

    Bisexual people, who can selectively enter both worlds, are seen as giving arguments to those who think that same-sex attraction is just an abnormal whim, or a sign of indecency. Half-homosexual, the heterosexuals view them as potentially deviant sexual predators who are incapable of honouring a "formal" relationship and complying with acceptable models of emotional and sexual interaction. Half-heterosexual, the homosexuals view them as exploitative sexual predators who can enjoy the best aspects of being gay, while rapidly retreating to comfort of straight relationships when things become intense, complicated, or potentially conflictive. Thus, they are bound to be rejected by everyone.

    This is undeniably sad and unfair, but it's also true that these views, no matter how negative, are based on reality - obviously, not everyone's reality, but a reality frequent enough to create very negative perceptions nonetheless. Challenging these perceptions can only be achieved through increased visibility, showing everyone that bisexuality is not subjected to generalized moral imperatives, but individual behaviours. There are despicable people everywhere, even though societal pressures do play a very important role in the relationships that bisexual people have with the other two groups. Could it be possible to say that bisexual people are, often, cornered into hiding their true desires out of fear of rejection and isolation? I think it is. Society is very cruel with those who are different, and prejudice is a driving factor for many interactions. It's also true that, being in the middle, they may never completely rid themselves of the 'they can go the other way at any moment' cliche.

    With this said, I think that women would be more likely to date a bisexual man, because women are conditioned to be more forgiving and accepting - even when being forgiving and accepting is painful and damaging to them. Also, as someone already mentioned, women are taught to hope they can change the men they enter in relationships with. Men are not taught to tolerate, in most cases. Women are taught to sacrifice themselves for the sake of a relationship, because they are derided and pitied if they don't have a man in their lives. "Alone" is a synonym of "failure" for women.

    Gay men might be willing to sporadically have intercourse with these men, but the idea of making extreme concessions isn't something that most would accept (nor should anyone, no matter what sexual orientation might be). No one likes to feel like they are being used to pass the time until that socially acceptable partner turns up. This tends to elicit great anger among gay people, rather than resentment or jealousy (?) over the fact that bisexual people can blend into heterosexuality without problems. Equally, no one likes to be told that their sexual orientation makes them less deserving of love or acceptance - there are bisexual men out there who genuinely believe that they are better than gay men because they can potentially enter heterosexual relationships, and shamelessly objectify homosexual people. While biphobia seems to be prevalent among many, which is unfortunate, many people also seem to be overlooking the fact that some bisexual people are rabidly homophobic themselves.

    Educating people in theoretical principles is an important matter, but only exposure, respect and honesty can ultimately be used to bring acceptance for misunderstood communities, in my opinion.
    And this what kind of pisses me off, about society, and why a man cheating on his woman is so damn heartbreaking.Thank you for that.We as woman are taught we most do everything to keep our men happy no matter what. We have sacrifice ourselves to make sure we get that smile on ours man's face indicating that he is happy with those.Women put their whole worth,well being, and ego into getting a man, and keeping him happy.I mean after all,this is what the man made society tell us to do right? If she ain't doing anything to please a man, and catch one, then she is must be doing something wrong.Just look at all the women who are desperate to get married.They have seminars,books,video tapes on who to get a man to notice her, you will never see a man doing the same thing.And in a way I feel like the way this society treats women is awful..

  6. #56
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrusek81 View Post
    I believe that a key element in this debate is the fact that bisexual people do not belong to the two groups that society views as "integral" to the definition of sexual orientation: in short, they are somewhere in the middle between homosexual and heterosexual, without ever truly "belonging" to either community. Thus, since they cannot be easily defined by traits or qualities linked to a specific group, they are regarded as anomalous in their behaviour, incapable of integration and potentially deceitful.

    While I imagine that this can be very painful, it is also undeniable that there is an element of truth in every stereotype - in fact, stereotypes are born from communal behaviours that are prevalent enough to be exaggerated and systematically used to define entire communities, both negatively and positively. However, in the case of bisexual people these stereotypes are magnified because of the perceived "otherness" of their sexual orientation, especially in the case of men. Bisexual women are treated less harshly because, in our patriarchal society, their sexuality is viewed as just an accessory to male sexuality. No matter what they do, perceive or feel, women are considered to be there to serve men. Only women who defy notions of proper femininity (they cultivate a manly appearance, seek power or non-sexually conditioned attention) are punished by society. Women who comply with the "desirable-submissive-happily inferior" concept of femininity, are viewed as lacking power and thus, they don't pose a threat to anyone.

    Men, on the other hand, have it harder. Not being fully heterosexual is shameful because men who are attracted to other males, betray their self-appointed superiority by being "feminized", which is shameful because women are considered to be inferior. On the opposite side, the gay community has had to fight very hard to achieve visibility and lend validity to the idea that homosexuality is not a learned behaviour that one deliberately chooses to engage in, or the result of corruption.

    Bisexual people, who can selectively enter both worlds, are seen as giving arguments to those who think that same-sex attraction is just an abnormal whim, or a sign of indecency. Half-homosexual, the heterosexuals view them as potentially deviant sexual predators who are incapable of honouring a "formal" relationship and complying with acceptable models of emotional and sexual interaction. Half-heterosexual, the homosexuals view them as exploitative sexual predators who can enjoy the best aspects of being gay, while rapidly retreating to comfort of straight relationships when things become intense, complicated, or potentially conflictive. Thus, they are bound to be rejected by everyone.

    This is undeniably sad and unfair, but it's also true that these views, no matter how negative, are based on reality - obviously, not everyone's reality, but a reality frequent enough to create very negative perceptions nonetheless. Challenging these perceptions can only be achieved through increased visibility, showing everyone that bisexuality is not subjected to generalized moral imperatives, but individual behaviours. There are despicable people everywhere, even though societal pressures do play a very important role in the relationships that bisexual people have with the other two groups. Could it be possible to say that bisexual people are, often, cornered into hiding their true desires out of fear of rejection and isolation? I think it is. Society is very cruel with those who are different, and prejudice is a driving factor for many interactions. It's also true that, being in the middle, they may never completely rid themselves of the 'they can go the other way at any moment' cliche.

    With this said, I think that women would be more likely to date a bisexual man, because women are conditioned to be more forgiving and accepting - even when being forgiving and accepting is painful and damaging to them. Also, as someone already mentioned, women are taught to hope they can change the men they enter in relationships with. Men are not taught to tolerate, in most cases. Women are taught to sacrifice themselves for the sake of a relationship, because they are derided and pitied if they don't have a man in their lives. "Alone" is a synonym of "failure" for women.

    Gay men might be willing to sporadically have intercourse with these men, but the idea of making extreme concessions isn't something that most would accept (nor should anyone, no matter what sexual orientation might be). No one likes to feel like they are being used to pass the time until that socially acceptable partner turns up. This tends to elicit great anger among gay people, rather than resentment or jealousy (?) over the fact that bisexual people can blend into heterosexuality without problems. Equally, no one likes to be told that their sexual orientation makes them less deserving of love or acceptance - there are bisexual men out there who genuinely believe that they are better than gay men because they can potentially enter heterosexual relationships, and shamelessly objectify homosexual people. While biphobia seems to be prevalent among many, which is unfortunate, many people also seem to be overlooking the fact that some bisexual people are rabidly homophobic themselves.

    Educating people in theoretical principles is an important matter, but only exposure, respect and honesty can ultimately be used to bring acceptance for misunderstood communities, in my opinion.
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  7. #57
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Been dating a bisexual guy for over seven years..no problems here.

  8. #58
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    well, to tell you the truth, i think that a bi guy would have a hard time dating someone who accepted them for who they are in today's world. i think that regardless if it were a woman or a guy, they both would give him flack saying that he doesn't know who he is and will say that he's a gay guy in denial. there's a whole lot of people that don't believe that guys can be bisexual. there's also this weird talk about how women can only be bisexual and it's acceptable for women to be bicurious, be confused and explore their sexual orientation whereas a guy can't do that without being labeled as completely gay. it's messed up.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  9. #59

    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ninja108 View Post
    Been dating a bisexual guy for over seven years..no problems here.
    Well that's because you are a MAN. You got everything he needs.

  10. #60
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    you know something. i didn't want to say anything but i smell something funny here.

    i've been reading medusa's posts and no offense to medusa, but it's like "she" is coming across like "she's" someone purposely trying to get a reaction out of somebody with some of the posts like the one in the connecticut thread and this one with bisexual men. just like an alias or troll would. am i the only person that is noticing this?
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  11. #61

    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    you know something. i didn't want to say anything but i smell something funny here.

    i've been reading medusa's posts and no offense to medusa, but it's like "she" is coming across like "she's" someone purposely trying to get a reaction out of somebody with some of the posts like the one in the connecticut thread and this one with bisexual men. just like an alias or troll would. am i the only person that is noticing this?
    Well don't we all want to get an reaction out of everyone when we post something? What makes you say that I am a troll,when all I am doing is stating my opinions, and how I feel? I mean good God, I was a long time lurker here, and decided to join,but I guess I am not welcome here.

  12. #62

    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    And btw,Just because I am a gun lover,does not mean I am a troll,or trying to fuck with people.Get bent jerk.

  13. #63
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
    And this what kind of pisses me off, about society, and why a man cheating on his woman is so damn heartbreaking.Thank you for that.We as woman are taught we most do everything to keep our men happy no matter what. We have sacrifice ourselves to make sure we get that smile on ours man's face indicating that he is happy with those.Women put their whole worth,well being, and ego into getting a man, and keeping him happy.I mean after all,this is what the man made society tell us to do right? If she ain't doing anything to please a man, and catch one, then she is must be doing something wrong.Just look at all the women who are desperate to get married.They have seminars,books,video tapes on who to get a man to notice her, you will never see a man doing the same thing.And in a way I feel like the way this society treats women is awful..
    Sadly, this is true. Women are roughly one half of humanity, but they are treated like a derided minority. Exploited, enslaved, used and abused and condemned to a life of emotional dependence and lack of true personal freedom. I would go as far as to say that women are the victims of a perpetual crime against human dignity. That's why I am so shocked whenever I meet misogynistic gay men... Do they not realize that homophobia is a slightly distorted reflection of misogyny, and that in reality we're all on the same boat?

  14. #64
    JUB Addict Tadaa's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    I wouldn't intentionally date a man that was bisexual. I'd also NEVER date a married man. Once you're married to a woman, despite my interest, you might as well have a vagina...they are dead to me.
    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3139/2530446427_a5004ed715_o.jpg

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  15. #65

    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrusek81 View Post
    Sadly, this is true. Women are roughly one half of humanity, but they are treated like a derided minority. Exploited, enslaved, used and abused and condemned to a life of emotional dependence and lack of true personal freedom. I would go as far as to say that women are the victims of a perpetual crime against human dignity. That's why I am so shocked whenever I meet misogynistic gay men... Do they not realize that homophobia is a slightly distorted reflection of misogyny, and that in reality we're all on the same boat?
    Thank You very much.Sometimes I feel like why even bother,doing all those things that men tells us to do in order to get a man.It almost feel like a waste of time because he will stray, and fuck someone else.And to be honest about it,I don't think Gay men, and Women are on the same boat.Gay men have waaaaay more privilege than a woman does,especially if he's white.So no, me personally I don't think we are on the same boat.

  16. #66
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrusek81 View Post
    . That's why I am so shocked whenever I meet misogynistic gay men... Do they not realize that homophobia is a slightly distorted reflection of misogyny, and that in reality we're all on the same boat?
    You are amazing. That was such a thoughtful post and very insightful. I too am shocked when I see misogyny among gay men. I believe that they are a minority though.... at least I hope.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  17. #67

    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    I have always had close women friends. (This is why they confide in me. )

    I tell them that, sometimes, you have to be a bitch. Elsewise, men will walk all over you. This is especially true when you're talking about men cheating.
    then when we are a bitch,men complain.

  18. #68
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Most gay men don't sit around talking about football

  19. #69
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    I think the thing is, people remember a misogynist gay men, and nobody remembers the ones who love women.
    I first learned that there were misogynistic gay men when I found JUB. That is so naive

    However, they are a minority here as well. Most of the men on JUB are lovely. Refuji, Digital and Anderson are a couple of guys that are always really sweet to the women here. At the end of the day this is a site for men and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. People say off-color things when they are around their own and most times it isn't meant for the outside to hear.

    I just have a hard time seeing discrimination and not say anything. I also have a hard time seeing agism here. Im 23 but I dont like when young jubbers put down older jubbers.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
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  20. #70
    JUB Addict sokker's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Probably women.. since many gay men seem a bit bi-phobic. What I mean is that gay men seem kinda scared/don't want to date bisexual guys for some reason. I don't think a woman would really care.
    I like Francisco Lachowski, Jon Kortajarena and other male models

  21. #71
    Slut curiousguyUNT's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Men Vs. Women:Whose most likely to date a Bisexual Man?

    Speaking as a bi guy, it's a coin flip. I've heard women adamantly say that they could never be with a guy who had slept with other guys, and I've heard gay guys say that they could never trust a bi guy. Do the women who think it is disgusting to be with a guy because he has had sex with other men not get the irony, because, unless they're virgins, that is exactly what they expect straight guys to do. Do the gay guys who have problems with bi guys have the same insecurity and trust issues with other gay guys or is it just bi guys? To those of you who feel like it would be worse, a betrayal, or make you feel like you've been used, to be left for someone of the opposite sex, do you feel the same way if you are left for someone who is of a different race, or taller/shorter, or different eye/hair color, or fatter/thinner, etc.? Because that is what gender is like for me, a characteristic. I like/love/fall for/am attracted to people. There are certainly physical features that draw my eye, to both sexes, but personality is the defining thing for me. So unless you only date people who are practically clones, you do the same thing as a bi guy switching from a guy to a girl or vice versa, but I bet you never looked at it like that. I'm also not a whore who can't control his urges, which is just a bullshit cop out. I don't suffer from the grass is always greener syndrome. I am very loyal and if I'm with you, I'm with you. I have been used emotionally by women (which I feel is way worse) and physically by men. Being used sucks, period, but just because a guy moves on to the opposite gender doesn't mean you were being used or that you weren't really cared about it just means that he's moved on. I can't and won't speak for all bi guys because we are all different, but that is what it is like for me. I get a lot of hate because of misconceptions, misunderstandings, ignorance, and the bad rap that comes from the bi guys who are assholes and give us all bad names. Before you decide to throw around generalizations and hate, stop and try to think about it from the other person's perspective and see if what you are thinking is justified or just imagination(that goes for everybody, gay, straight, and everything in between).

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