God, im desperate.

[menRsexii]

I try and put on a tough exterior and go with the flow, i really do, but i still cant help but feel saddened and lonely. i want to say im quite independent but honestly, im tired of being by myself. i want to know what it feels like to have a special connection with someone, to be able to kiss only them, to cuddle... to have a relationship, a bond. so far, it hasnt happened. i start wondering if theres something wrong with me. i mean, i have an account on okcupid and ive tried messaging many, many guys -- im DESPERATE -- and more than half of them never contacted me back :/

im not painting a pretty picture of myself right now, i realize. but im lonely and im really getting tired of waiting. im always the third wheel. everyone and their mom has someone special but me lol *sigh*

sorry -- i know ive made a thread like this before so if this upsets you, please ignore my late night rambles. i guess i should talk to my therapist about my feelings of great loneliness

[Beachguyj]

I know how you feel, I feel the same way sometimes. Other times I am fine being alone and actually like it because I am a loner by nature. Still sometimes I worry that i will be alone forever. You need hope that things will get better. You have to go out there and find a guy, as hard as it seems a guy is not going to knock on your door and tell you he's the one. I think if I want someone to love me I may have to move and get a dog.

[menRsexii]

im just tired of being gay in a way because i feel like there are so many superficial dicks in the community. i feel like a lot of the guys on dating sites give off a sense of entitlement... and i dunno if this is true but it often seems women dont care as much about looks and therefore it might just be easier to be straight. bleh.

[Nishin]

Are you out?:
No one knows.

What does you therapist say about that?

Or by the fact that you're desperate about getting a man... 2 days after calling a previous relationship off ?

[menRsexii]

he knows that like my family doesnt know... or that i havent told them. some of my friends know.

and, and... i only see him once every other week so i havent had a chance to tell him yet. but i have an appt with him tomorrow.

i know im crazy about this, hence the title. no need to make me feel stupid as well

i guess i just have a lot of pent up emotions. its Karen and I against the world

[Nishin]

Oh I'm not trying to make you feel stupid...
Just maybe trying to point a few keys out to understand that you're the main craftsman behind your destiny and elicit thoughts about this, it seems strange to me to complain or feel bad about things that you are the one causing but I don't have all the data, so I can only guess from what little I get from a few clicks...
If you think being straight will help you out because the problem comes from gay men in the community, try munching on vagina but honestly I don't see that making you any happier, quite the opposite rather... jmho
Once again sorry if I sound aggressive but I just don't see another to (sugar-coat) put it

[menRsexii]

yea okay i must've interpreted your message wrong, and im sorry for that then. im just frustrated i guess. i know ultimately its me that has control of my own destiny but often times it doesnt really feel that way.

[HunterM]

Well...go do something to fulfill your goals, wants and desires. I can be hired for $300 per hr. Call me!

[DaggyG]

I agree with Beachguyj, find something to pin your hope on. But, when you have those moments that hope fades, think about the strength you have deep inside. The only thing I know for sure is that when you are angry with the world, or feeling negative, nothing good happens. You are allowed bad days though, but the next morning is a fresh start.

[RazorzEdge88]

I can be hired for $300 per hr.

I'm way cheaper (and I give really good head).

[rareboy]

What does you therapist say about that?

Or by the fact that you're desperate about getting a man... 2 days after calling a previous relationship off ?

I have to say that this is the first thing that caught my eye.

It is pretty easy to be desperate. Takes way less work than putting as much energy as possible into making your own life happy and productive first.

Sure, the numbers aren't on the side of homos...but there are lots of great guys out there.

Hopefully your therapist can get you to the point of liking and valuing yourself first and then feeling confident enough to be out in the world.

I have to say though...you need to get out and meet as many people as possible.

[animalius]

Sure, the numbers aren't on the side of homos...but there are lots of great guys out there.

Number is not the only advantage being straight gives you. Women generally have a lesser standard than gay guys. Heck, you only need to commit to get any woman you want. I've seen beautiful babes with good and high paying jobs date fat greasy mother fuckers who are bums. I've seen women who date bums who do nothing but play that first person shooter game (can't remember what it's called) all day while their women are out working all day to pay rent.

The fact of the matter is his life would be a lot easier had he been straight. Gay guys have very high standards, myself included. Any of the last 5 guys I dated could be a model. Actually, one of them was a fashion model.

[TheLyingGame]

I know exactly how you feel. I have never been in love or been loved (as far as i know..) by a man. A woman? probably.. loads of girls have "fancied" me over the years, but as someone else said, girls are a lot less picky then gay men.

And i try, oh how i try. Maybe i'm the picky one... but excuse me for not wanting to date dinosaurs.

It would be a lot easier if everyone and i mean EVERYONE i know didn't have a 'special someone'. Being lonely makes you question everything about yourself, especially the way you look. I mean i would be fine if i was going out and ya know, getting told i was beautiful constantly.. but i'm not. So what is the reason? because i post a picture on here and you guys tell me i look great... so who knows. maybe it's my personality.

"Human beings are designed for many things. Loneliness isn't one of them."

[refujiunderground]

you are NOT happy with yourself which is why you're looking for someone else to do it for you.

falling in love is NOT going to change that at all. you're basically looking for someone to fill the void that you lack with yourself which is self love. if you don't love yourself, no matter who gives you the time of day, you're still going to be miserable. hate to say it but it's true.

with that said, you really don't need to be in a relationship right now. what you need to do is get your head together. you don't need to be in love with someone in order to be happy.

as for rejection, it's a part of life. once upon a time back when i was living life as a "straight guy", i like you was putting all my eggs into the basket that my life would be better and i'd be happier if i had sex with a woman or fell in love. i would get into huge rages over that too where i had a huge chip on my shoulder. what REALLY was going on was i had issues with myself and was projecting it onto other people where i wasn't looking at myself because i didn't want to. now, i would say that over time ever since i started to look into the mirror where i could deal and start loving the person who i am, i'm slowly starting to come to my senses. i too haven't had much luck on okcupid. to tell you the truth, i have no business even dating anybody at this moment of time. sure, i would love to have sex and date whoever but my mind isn't in the right place now as well as my life. i have no job, i'm going broke, i'm trying to get my act and mind right. i'm still in the coming out process, i need to come out to more people in my circle, i also need to become more comfortable with myself and unless, i meet another a guy who understands how my life is where they're willing to work with me on that then i'm going to stay single.

i just think you should just stay single and if you do find that guy that is willing to date you that you also want to date, make sure he knows where your head is at.

[The Fly]

Number is not the only advantage being straight gives you. Women generally have a lesser standard than gay guys. Heck, you only need to commit to get any woman you want. I've seen beautiful babes with good and high paying jobs date fat greasy mother fuckers who are bums. I've seen women who date bums who do nothing but play that first person shooter game (can't remember what it's called) all day while their women are out working all day to pay rent.

The fact of the matter is his life would be a lot easier had he been straight. Gay guys have very high standards, myself included. Any of the last 5 guys I dated could be a model. Actually, one of them was a fashion model.

I love this implication....if you don't look like a model you'd be better off straight ...........what a bunch of BULLSHIT.
He needs to get his head togther and work on his life as an indidual, before making the emotional investment in romantic relationships. I know it's old and cliche', but it's still true, the most important relationship you can have is with yourself.

[MissAnne]

you are NOT happy with yourself which is why you're looking for someone else to do it for you.

falling in love is NOT going to change that at all. you're basically looking for someone to fill the void that you lack with yourself which is self love.

This is gold, right here.

I love this implication....if you don't look like a model you'd be better off straight ...........what a bunch of BULLSHIT.

How true.

[animalius]

I love this implication....if you don't look like a model you'd be better off straight ...........what a bunch of BULLSHIT.
He needs to get his head togther and work on his life as an indidual, before making the emotional investment in romantic relationships. I know it's old and cliche', but it's still true, the most important relationship you can have is with yourself.

Well, your summary of what I said is indeed BULLSHIT, because that's not what I was saying at all.

[HunterM]

I'm way cheaper (and I give really good head).

I'll be the judge if you give really good head or not.

[mikey3000]

I think the problem today is that people set their standards way too high. When I erased (note, not lowered) my standards, I found the ones I fell in love with. Lord knows I'm not perfect, what gives me the right to expect it in others.

[weinerslav]

I think the problem today is that people set their standards way too high. When I erased (note, not lowered) my standards, I found the ones I fell in love with. Lord knows I'm not perfect, what gives me the right to expect it in others.

I have to say that that is exactly my point of view, people just expects perfection at all levels, no such thing exists, I really believe that is a matter of erasing the standards! I always had long term relations and my friends always say that is because I'm the "marrying" type of guy and they are the "sluts" type of guys but, most of the times, they don't give a chance to any guy that doesn't meet the requirements! For me, giving a chance to someone is giving a chance to myself!

[unknownme]

i know how you feel. i feel dead inside, and i've felt this way for the longest time. unlike you, i'm not even asking to be in a romantic relationship; i just want someone to consider me as a true friend--a family member! i just wish i have someone i could run to or call to during the happy or sad days of my life. it doesn't help that my dog is sick, and he is truly the only one who loves me unconditionally. i just hope that i don't wake up again--i wouldn't be able to handle losing my dog, and what's sad is that i can't even afford sending him to a vet.

okay, end of my useless comments!

[Huntneo(PT)]

I think the problem today is that people set their standards way too high. When I erased (note, not lowered) my standards, I found the ones I fell in love with. Lord knows I'm not perfect, what gives me the right to expect it in others.

^^^ this. ^^^

he's speaking truth, you guys.

[refujiunderground]

I think the problem today is that people set their standards way too high. When I erased (note, not lowered) my standards, I found the ones I fell in love with. Lord knows I'm not perfect, what gives me the right to expect it in others.

you hit the nail on the head. a lot of guys need to understand that. they need to stop putting up standards that they themselves can't match up to. i'll never understand how a guy can expect another guy to accept him for who he is BUT on the same face, he'll reject a guy who doesn't like the same tv show or music that he likes or some petty bullshit because it's not exactly what he wants. if you limit your options, act super picky and fickle, you can't complain.

[Ram]

Lower your standards and you would realize that many JUBbers are suddenly date-able.

You don't know loneliness. What you have is post break-up bitch fit ran-out-of-ice-cream drama.

Go out and meet as many people as possible.

No matter how repulsive you are, you are always beautiful to some guy. Except for me. I am beyond repulsive.

[menRsexii]

^ do you recommend anywhere in particular to go? i would think going to gay clubs would not be good for what im initially looking for

[HunterM]

You wouldn't want to date me...cause I'd fuck ya. Some people like that though.