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  1. #1
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Totally shocked.
    Inspired - but too tired.

  2. #2
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    no, what's annoying is how they go like "really" as if it's some sort of shock. maybe i should act more feminine or walk around limpwrist so they get the message.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  3. #3
    Traveling Through Time BillyT's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    They would have ever known if I didn't tell them. When I told my family, it surprise the hell out of them.

  4. #4
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    it othda way round
    SSSSSH"
    not therory relativity
    SSSSSH"
    ooh poo

    alway nice meetin sumthang anyway no matta wot turn out a be
    okay"
    ooh so kind

    thankyou

  5. #5
    Hockey Players' Butts > desertboi's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Totally shocks everyone I tell, except for my ex-girlfriend...
    "I want to sleep with you in the desert tonight, with a million stars all around."

  6. #6
    Hockey Players' Butts > desertboi's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Moms always seem to know... I haven't told my mom yet though so I don't know if she'll say that or not.
    "I want to sleep with you in the desert tonight, with a million stars all around."

  7. #7
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Nope. Unless I speak up, no one can tell.

  8. #8
    huh?
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    i wouldn't say shocked, but to tell the truth, I can't remember the last time I told someone. I introduce my partner when necessary and let them figure out who and what we are. I don't feel the need to tell people anything.
    FPNY
    Annoying JUBBERS since 2003

  9. #9
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    mum folks knew round world anythang sure keep centurys quiet ova it

    wot a thang

    anyway

  10. #10
    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    People are usually shocked... i have even been approached in some gay bars to tell me it was a gay bar and if I had a problem with that i could go.... lol... they had just had a bunch of shitty issues with confused stright guys ending up in the gay bar...

    My dad said he knew and my Mom co-signed when I came out to them....
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  11. #11
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Considering my parents almost gave me the female version of my name, that makes it obvious. TBH if I don't have my nose piercing in, it takes them about 5 minutes to figure out if I'm gay.

  12. #12
    Ruminating
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Who said I'm gay?
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  13. #13
    Booyah! Callum's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    It's a hit or a miss. Some people instantly know while others are genuinely confused when I tell them.
    blacksyringe

  14. #14
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Quote Originally Posted by reone View Post
    ^Your hubby would probably say so .
    He's always squealing on me.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  15. #15
    Anders123
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Based upon my mannerisms and interests, probably not.

    But if an attractive guy catches me staring at his butt or looking at him with a sheepish grin, I imagine it's a little more obvious.

  16. #16
    Slut Benjoe's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    No, people can't tell from the way I act. I do sometimes wonder though if sucking their cock gives it away.

  17. #17
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Depends on who you ask. Some people were very surprised when I told them, others said it was pretty obvious. Nowadays, it's pretty obvious. Less with how I act, and more because I'm pretty open about it (and I have a partner).

    Lex

  18. #18
    Is the King of JUB Beachguyj's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    No, today dropping off a prescription at Walgreens I thought I saw was a gay couple but they looked straight, just got the gaydar vibe but sometimes you never know.
    In his autumn, before the winter, comes man's last mad surge of youth

  19. #19
    JUB Addict Ram's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Normally, it's hard to tell. I am not out to acquaintances and people I work with because they are not in my life nor are they important to me. But they have pretty much guessed that I am gay because of the constant rejection of blind dates with girls and the occasional "omg I think that guy is hot" exclamation from me whenever some hot guy walks by.

  20. #20
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    'Act'? Were you acting or being yourself?

    Deportment

    de·port·ment
    /diˈpôrtmənt/

    Noun
    A person's behavior or manners.

    Synonyms
    behaviour - behavior - demeanor - demeanour - conduct


  21. #21
    Already Gone BreakTheIce's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Gaydar is so hard to fine tune these days. Mostly because straight guys are getting more into the trends that the people generally assume only gay guys would be interested in (which, again not all gay guys are into). You find more straight guys getting manicures, pedicures, and wearing high end fashion than gay guys sometimes...

    And voice has nothing to do with it. If voice determined sexuality, David Beckham would be the gayest man alive.

  22. #22
    Dimples glasvegas's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Depends. I came out to one of my friends and she said "yea, I know" and I asked her how, she said "you never tried to hit on me".

  23. #23
    Virgin SAmatt's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    That's so true! There's no more "obvious" ways of telling gay men apart these days without actually asking them (which i personally don't have the balls to do)

  24. #24

    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    After maybe 15 years of knowing him...one night one of my customers who was also a friend asked me (while I was bartending in a frggin gay bar) if I was "really gay"...because I didnt' seem like it. I asked him why he would say that to me after all these years but he couldn't "put his finger on it"....

    Other than that I never really ask anyone but in general I think not.

  25. #25

    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    No I'm super quiet and to myself

  26. #26
    Execuvette Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Eh, people who knew me for a long time weren't surprised when they learned. Nowadays nobody can tell on a first glance, but after an hour of talking with me, most get a clue. I am way too open about my sexuality.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  27. #27
    JUB Addict Sultan's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I'd say most of them have been shocked and usually think I'm joking but I've also had some others who weren't that shocked when I told them, most guys who are gay or bi, but for the most part people have been surprised and then ask a bunch of initial questions. I feel though that most people I came out to, I became closer with. The funniest to me was one of my female friends told me "lol no you're not. Shut up" and I had to spend the next three minutes or so convincing her that I wasn't trying to trick her or joking.

    I think most gay or bi guys have a better gaydar than heteros but I've also known some gay guys who are clueless and straight people who have much better fine tuned gaydar; usually if they had a family member or acquantance was was gay or bi in the past.

    There are about three or four people I came out to in hopes that they would come out to me also, because I KNOW they aren't straight. One of them sort of did after we talked and the other two were both either in denial or just didn't want to talk about it.

  28. #28
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Nope people assume I'm straight until told otherwise.

  29. #29
    ...is no hippie Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I was sitting -all leathered up- in the tram last Sunday with a friend and a little girl asked if we were policemen.

  30. #30
    JUB Addict innocentbychoice's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I think if you hang around me long enough you'll notice. I mean I'm not the most feminine guy out there but I'm definitely not the most masculine either.

  31. #31
    JUB Addict LeicsDom's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I have an inkling that a lot of people say 'Really? I'd never have known' to be polite

  32. #32
    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Geiri85 View Post
    Nope people assume I'm straight until told otherwise.
    Same for me. Even my mother was very surprised. And my gay brother the same (and I didn't know for me either until he came out !)
    Magna Veritas


  33. #33
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    No, not at all.


    But women at clubs did tell me I was an asshole...when my hands were accidentally on their asses though.

  34. #34

    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I think I am totally 'obvious' ... I mean I'm positively flaming with my camp shrieking high-pitched voice, my effeminate arm-flailing gesticulations, and the way that I girlishly sashay my hips as I mince down the street eyeing up all the guys and flirting like a cheap tart.

    But apparently not.

    In actuality, women often know I am gay; men seldom do.

    But then (generally speaking) men seem far less interested in other people than women.

  35. #35
    Je suis Charlie blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    My mum says she always knew, but my friends had no idea.
    Mine was quite the opposite. My friends say they were not entirely surprised since they've suspected it more and more in recent years without ever being 100% certain, but my immediate family claim to have been completely blind-sided by the whole debacle. As have the other people I've told.

    So... I guess I'm kinda straight-acting. Cue knee-jerk righteous indignation for use of the term.

    -d-
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  36. #36

    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    The majority of people are shocked. Others claim that they had a feeling once I tell them. I'm apparently very laid back, which doesn't make me come across as gay o.o I always end up laughing when people tell me that, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

  37. #37

    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I completely shocked all my of mates in college when I told them, I didn't say anything 'till the end of our first year and absolutely none of them had copped it. I've been told I'm extremely "straight acting", to use a phrase I don't particularly like. The other gay guy in my class was a huge shock to everyone too, including myself. Not only did he not ping the dar, he's the last person I would have ever suspected.

    My ma had even less of a clue, but it hasn't been brought up or mentioned since then.

    My close mates (all lads), the ones I literally see every single day, always suspected it but it was less to do with my mannerisms and more to do with the fact that I wasn't chasing girls and constantly commenting on every girl we knew, etc, etc (anyone with a lengthy dry spell has faced similar speculation). I've been told if I was in any way "camp" or effeminate that they wouldn't associate with me so I think that says enough about my mannerisms. They're the type of lads that think all gay people are running around with jazz hands and handbags and whatnot.

    I think with the amount of people coming out these days, it's starting to show that camp/flaming/effeminate (whatever phrase you wanna use) gay guys are actually the minority.
    Last edited by IrishLad1990; December 12th, 2012 at 07:29 AM.

  38. #38

    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    No, it's the pants.

  39. #39

    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I think saying people are wearing it as a "badge of honour" might be a little unfair. The reason I like the fact that I'm not camp is because I like contradicting the stereotype of a "gay man" that everyone has over here.

  40. #40
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Quote Originally Posted by purina View Post
    No, it's the pants.
    Ah...when you see a hot guy walking by, your pants make a tent eh?

  41. #41
    JUB Addict alphaxxx's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    No one has ever asked me if I'm gay or straight but I'm sure some people must have a feeling. Probably my closest friends cos I never talk about girls and sex with them so maybe they kind of know.

  42. #42
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I don't recall who it was, but there was a gay guy who was still technically closeted at age 35 or so. I told him "You realize that while you've been staring in fear at that closet door, your flames burned down the closet walls years ago?"

    Lex

  43. #43
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Most people are shocked when I told them I am gay. They usually expect something different as I am not flamboyant nor very masculine. But I though the fact that I really like figure skating and had been single for 21 years is a dead-give away. But oh well. Strangely enough most of my friends haven't really met any gays prior to me.

  44. #44
    GAYVIATOR ibill1's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Since I was out at 17 in the 70's, I really don't know, to be honest. After I met Steve, we were always together and I guess it never had to be asked. A few times at work when the conversation was about family life I just talked about Steve alot, so it was obvious. Only once some girl said she was disappointed because she was going to ask me out, so, I guess to her, no. I think in my situation, how I act, no, but who I would always talk about, yes.

  45. #45
    Ruminating
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I was not surprised to hear that Huntneo and Lucky7 were gay. NaughtyArousal on the other hand would have been shocking if not for the parasol he always has with him.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  46. #46
    JUB Addict The Fly's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    People are generaly surprised when I tell them but I wouldn't go so far as to say "shocked". I think the shock aspect was as much in response to people admitting/owning thier sexuality as much/if not more than the sexual orientation itself. The exposure/acceptance of gays in the last two decades has greatly erroded the mystery of the differences between orientations.
    I've been refered to as "staight acting" or "masculine" by gays, straights, and even a tranny I know, and it's never offended me in the least. I believe when someone says "straight acting" it's simply to equate a set of mannerisms/interests/activities to this individual that is associated (sp) with straight guys. I will never understand why some folks get all upset over this term.

  47. #47
    GAYVIATOR ibill1's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    This question bothers me in a way. When all of these people respond with shock because you don't act gay, is this suppose to be a compliment? I mean, do these people think you will feel better about yourself if you don't act gay? It appears to me that some say this for exactly that reason. Like there is something wrong with acting gay. I only bring this up because if you read this thread the amount of posters that said people responded with shock just seems exceptionally high. I'm not doubting any of the posters experiences, I'm doubting the sencerity of the responders.

  48. #48
    Cruise Director
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    I came out back in '83 so I don't really need to keep coming out to people anymore as I just assume that newcomers to my social circle already know or will be told by others. There have been some that have made a point of coming up to me when they've found out and said, "Blah blah just told me you're gay, is that true?" "Yes, I thought you already knew." "Well...no, I hadn't really thought about it, I've always just thought of you as 'David'."

    WTF is that supposed to mean!

  49. #49
    Je suis Charlie blackbeltninja's Avatar
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    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    Quote Originally Posted by lucky7 View Post
    And half of them are deluding themselves.
    So many "masculine" "laid-back" or "everyone was shocked" gays you can tell at first sight with any gaydar at all.
    Hmmm. Not sure how fair this is, if I'm honest.

    I mean, if OTHER PEOPLE are surprised when I tell them, how am I deluding myself that I'm not obvious? Unless you're saying that EVERYONE I know is lying...

    -d-
    Members: [insert appropriate/relevant wise saying or deep thought here]
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    I hope you get this message.
    Comments welcome.

  50. #50

    Re: Can People Tell You're Gay From How You Act ?

    ^ Different people perceive different things so that's why I didn't respond to Bender's original question in the OP. I can't answer a question on behalf of other people and their (often unspoken) perceptions.

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