Challenge your fears, don't fear your challenges.
no, what's annoying is how they go like "really" as if it's some sort of shock. maybe i should act more feminine or walk around limpwrist so they get the message.
one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry
They would have ever known if I didn't tell them. When I told my family, it surprise the hell out of them.
it othda way round
not therory relativity
alway nice meetin sumthang anyway no matta wot turn out a be
ooh so kind
Totally shocks everyone I tell, except for my ex-girlfriend...
Hockey players butts drive me nuts!
Moms always seem to know... I haven't told my mom yet though so I don't know if she'll say that or not.
Hockey players butts drive me nuts!
Nope. Unless I speak up, no one can tell.
i wouldn't say shocked, but to tell the truth, I can't remember the last time I told someone. I introduce my partner when necessary and let them figure out who and what we are. I don't feel the need to tell people anything.
FPNYAnnoying JUBBERS since 2003
mum folks knew round world anythang sure keep centurys quiet ova it
wot a thang
People are usually shocked... i have even been approached in some gay bars to tell me it was a gay bar and if I had a problem with that i could go.... lol... they had just had a bunch of shitty issues with confused stright guys ending up in the gay bar...
My dad said he knew and my Mom co-signed when I came out to them....
Considering my parents almost gave me the female version of my name, that makes it obvious. TBH if I don't have my nose piercing in, it takes them about 5 minutes to figure out if I'm gay.
Who said I'm gay?
Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.
It's a hit or a miss. Some people instantly know while others are genuinely confused when I tell them.
Based upon my mannerisms and interests, probably not.
But if an attractive guy catches me staring at his butt or looking at him with a sheepish grin, I imagine it's a little more obvious.
No, people can't tell from the way I act. I do sometimes wonder though if sucking their cock gives it away.
Depends on who you ask. Some people were very surprised when I told them, others said it was pretty obvious. Nowadays, it's pretty obvious. Less with how I act, and more because I'm pretty open about it (and I have a partner).
No, today dropping off a prescription at Walgreens I thought I saw was a gay couple but they looked straight, just got the gaydar vibe but sometimes you never know.
In his autumn, before the winter, comes man's last mad surge of youth
Normally, it's hard to tell. I am not out to acquaintances and people I work with because they are not in my life nor are they important to me. But they have pretty much guessed that I am gay because of the constant rejection of blind dates with girls and the occasional "omg I think that guy is hot" exclamation from me whenever some hot guy walks by.
'Act'? Were you acting or being yourself?
A person's behavior or manners.
behaviour - behavior - demeanor - demeanour - conduct
Gaydar is so hard to fine tune these days. Mostly because straight guys are getting more into the trends that the people generally assume only gay guys would be interested in (which, again not all gay guys are into). You find more straight guys getting manicures, pedicures, and wearing high end fashion than gay guys sometimes...
And voice has nothing to do with it. If voice determined sexuality, David Beckham would be the gayest man alive.
Depends. I came out to one of my friends and she said "yea, I know" and I asked her how, she said "you never tried to hit on me".
That's so true! There's no more "obvious" ways of telling gay men apart these days without actually asking them (which i personally don't have the balls to do)
After maybe 15 years of knowing him...one night one of my customers who was also a friend asked me (while I was bartending in a frggin gay bar) if I was "really gay"...because I didnt' seem like it. I asked him why he would say that to me after all these years but he couldn't "put his finger on it"....
Other than that I never really ask anyone but in general I think not.
No I'm super quiet and to myself
Eh, people who knew me for a long time weren't surprised when they learned. Nowadays nobody can tell on a first glance, but after an hour of talking with me, most get a clue. I am way too open about my sexuality.
That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
- Gene Wolfe
I'd say most of them have been shocked and usually think I'm joking but I've also had some others who weren't that shocked when I told them, most guys who are gay or bi, but for the most part people have been surprised and then ask a bunch of initial questions. I feel though that most people I came out to, I became closer with. The funniest to me was one of my female friends told me "lol no you're not. Shut up" and I had to spend the next three minutes or so convincing her that I wasn't trying to trick her or joking.
I think most gay or bi guys have a better gaydar than heteros but I've also known some gay guys who are clueless and straight people who have much better fine tuned gaydar; usually if they had a family member or acquantance was was gay or bi in the past.
There are about three or four people I came out to in hopes that they would come out to me also, because I KNOW they aren't straight. One of them sort of did after we talked and the other two were both either in denial or just didn't want to talk about it.
Nope people assume I'm straight until told otherwise.
I was sitting -all leathered up- in the tram last Sunday with a friend and a little girl asked if we were policemen.
I think if you hang around me long enough you'll notice. I mean I'm not the most feminine guy out there but I'm definitely not the most masculine either.
I have an inkling that a lot of people say 'Really? I'd never have known' to be polite
No, not at all.
But women at clubs did tell me I was an asshole...when my hands were accidentally on their asses though.
I think I am totally 'obvious' ... I mean I'm positively flaming with my camp shrieking high-pitched voice, my effeminate arm-flailing gesticulations, and the way that I girlishly sashay my hips as I mince down the street eyeing up all the guys and flirting like a cheap tart.
But apparently not.
In actuality, women often know I am gay; men seldom do.
But then (generally speaking) men seem far less interested in other people than women.
So... I guess I'm kinda straight-acting. Cue knee-jerk righteous indignation for use of the term.
The majority of people are shocked. Others claim that they had a feeling once I tell them. I'm apparently very laid back, which doesn't make me come across as gay o.o I always end up laughing when people tell me that, though.
I completely shocked all my of mates in college when I told them, I didn't say anything 'till the end of our first year and absolutely none of them had copped it. I've been told I'm extremely "straight acting", to use a phrase I don't particularly like. The other gay guy in my class was a huge shock to everyone too, including myself. Not only did he not ping the dar, he's the last person I would have ever suspected.
My ma had even less of a clue, but it hasn't been brought up or mentioned since then.
My close mates (all lads), the ones I literally see every single day, always suspected it but it was less to do with my mannerisms and more to do with the fact that I wasn't chasing girls and constantly commenting on every girl we knew, etc, etc (anyone with a lengthy dry spell has faced similar speculation). I've been told if I was in any way "camp" or effeminate that they wouldn't associate with me so I think that says enough about my mannerisms. They're the type of lads that think all gay people are running around with jazz hands and handbags and whatnot.
I think with the amount of people coming out these days, it's starting to show that camp/flaming/effeminate (whatever phrase you wanna use) gay guys are actually the minority.
Last edited by IrishLad1990; December 12th, 2012 at 07:29 AM.
No, it's the pants.
I think saying people are wearing it as a "badge of honour" might be a little unfair. The reason I like the fact that I'm not camp is because I like contradicting the stereotype of a "gay man" that everyone has over here.
No one has ever asked me if I'm gay or straight but I'm sure some people must have a feeling. Probably my closest friends cos I never talk about girls and sex with them so maybe they kind of know.
I don't recall who it was, but there was a gay guy who was still technically closeted at age 35 or so. I told him "You realize that while you've been staring in fear at that closet door, your flames burned down the closet walls years ago?"
Most people are shocked when I told them I am gay. They usually expect something different as I am not flamboyant nor very masculine. But I though the fact that I really like figure skating and had been single for 21 years is a dead-give away. But oh well. Strangely enough most of my friends haven't really met any gays prior to me.
Since I was out at 17 in the 70's, I really don't know, to be honest. After I met Steve, we were always together and I guess it never had to be asked. A few times at work when the conversation was about family life I just talked about Steve alot, so it was obvious. Only once some girl said she was disappointed because she was going to ask me out, so, I guess to her, no. I think in my situation, how I act, no, but who I would always talk about, yes.
I was not surprised to hear that Huntneo and Lucky7 were gay. NaughtyArousal on the other hand would have been shocking if not for the parasol he always has with him.
Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.
People are generaly surprised when I tell them but I wouldn't go so far as to say "shocked". I think the shock aspect was as much in response to people admitting/owning thier sexuality as much/if not more than the sexual orientation itself. The exposure/acceptance of gays in the last two decades has greatly erroded the mystery of the differences between orientations.
I've been refered to as "staight acting" or "masculine" by gays, straights, and even a tranny I know, and it's never offended me in the least. I believe when someone says "straight acting" it's simply to equate a set of mannerisms/interests/activities to this individual that is associated (sp) with straight guys. I will never understand why some folks get all upset over this term.
This question bothers me in a way. When all of these people respond with shock because you don't act gay, is this suppose to be a compliment? I mean, do these people think you will feel better about yourself if you don't act gay? It appears to me that some say this for exactly that reason. Like there is something wrong with acting gay. I only bring this up because if you read this thread the amount of posters that said people responded with shock just seems exceptionally high. I'm not doubting any of the posters experiences, I'm doubting the sencerity of the responders.
I came out back in '83 so I don't really need to keep coming out to people anymore as I just assume that newcomers to my social circle already know or will be told by others. There have been some that have made a point of coming up to me when they've found out and said, "Blah blah just told me you're gay, is that true?" "Yes, I thought you already knew." "Well...no, I hadn't really thought about it, I've always just thought of you as 'David'."
WTF is that supposed to mean!
^ Different people perceive different things so that's why I didn't respond to Bender's original question in the OP. I can't answer a question on behalf of other people and their (often unspoken) perceptions.