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  1. #1

    How are your "people skills?"

    I've been told that I don't have "people skills." Meaning that if a random person were to strike up a conversation with me, I'd totally just freeze up and not know what to say. Thus bringing the conversation to an awkward halt.

  2. #2

    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I have none :|

    Unfortunately, I'd probably need alcohol to not freeze up. That is, unless the guy makes me feel comfortable and we actually have a connection.
    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

  3. #3
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    awsum

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  4. #4
    GAYVIATOR ibill1's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Actually, not to brag much, but mine are excellent, at least that is what I have been told. I can hold a conversation with a tortoise.

  5. #5
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I'm a great people person on first glance. On second they think I'm mocking them. On third, they find out I'm not and they usually love me ^_^
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  6. #6
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Quote Originally Posted by wanker90 View Post
    I've been told that I don't have "people skills." Meaning that if a random person were to strike up a conversation with me, I'd totally just freeze up and not know what to say. Thus bringing the conversation to an awkward halt.
    but your people skills on the forum is excellent!!!


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Vastly inferior to my cocksucking skills.

  8. #8

    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I've been called everything from charming to manipulative. It depends on who I'm with.

  9. #9
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    funny. it depends who i'm with. some people say i'm shy. some say that i'm good with people.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  10. #10
    Here's looking at you kid
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Quote Originally Posted by wanker90 View Post
    I've been told that I don't have "people skills." Meaning that if a random person were to strike up a conversation with me, I'd totally just freeze up and not know what to say. Thus bringing the conversation to an awkward halt.
    I've always been like that, even with people I know. It is the greatest source of despair in my life.



  11. #11
    Sex God TheLyingGame's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Great.. once we start talking.

    I'm a nervous wreck before hand.

  12. #12
    AWP82
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    It varies depending on my mood or the situation, but generally, I'm the quiet, laid-back type. I have my lively moments, though.

  13. #13

    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    So-so. I tend to only "freeze" up when the person talking to me is attractive. Male or female, I'm bisexual. Only when they talk to me unexpectedly though but if I'm approaching them I'm fine.

    What sucks is my conversation skills. I usually don't know what to say because I'm naturally just quiet. So I guess you can say that affects my social skills. A lot of people told me that I'm so mellow and chill, which I like. It irks me that people just automatically assume because you don't say much that you're "shy" when there's a big difference with being shy and being quiet.
    Last edited by whydatkine; December 10th, 2012 at 08:45 PM.

  14. #14
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I have fantastic people skills, so long as I have a context in which I feel safe... like at work. I have a reason to interact with people, even strangers, and that get me over that initial "I don't know what to say." I am polite to everyone, even people who don't deserve it (and even more polite to people who piss me off), and never say things in anger or frustration. And I answer questions about myself quite candidly, sometimes I have to remind myself that a piece of information is best kept to myself.

    What stumps me, though, is when I don't have a reason to talk to someone, like at a party or what-have-you, or when I have to approach someone who hasn't provided me with a context. I cannot begin a conversation, but once someone else starts one, I can roll with it as long as they can.

    * Question the Dominant Paradigm *

  15. #15
    JUB Addict The Fly's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Quote Originally Posted by ibill1 View Post
    I can hold a conversation with a tortoise.


    Really, a particular tortoise or any random tortoise you meet on the street....? J/K


    I guess "people skills" are like any other skills, the more you practice the more they'll improve.

  16. #16
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Mine are good after growing up extremely introverted.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  17. #17
    BENDERBOY
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I'm more shy in real life than i am on here, but i can still manage to hold a conversation with most people,

  18. #18
    johaninsc
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    usually they're great, unless I'm in a foul mood


    like now

  19. #19
    CupidBoy
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    I'm more shy in real life than i am on here, but i can still manage to hold a conversation with most people,
    Aw, me too.

  20. #20
    JUB Addict secondmonkey's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Great, if I've had some alcohol.
    If guns kill people then pencils misspell words...

  21. #21
    You Belong To Me reone's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    It's very circumstantial, but overall I would say that I do well communicating with people. As far as forming relationships with people and dealing with them, that is much trickier territory for many reasons.


    Soul meets soul on lovers' lips...


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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Mine are as good as people deserve!

    For example, Huntneo gets hugs.

    SEX KITTENS GET BURNS!

  23. #23
    JP.
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    what you see is not what you get

  24. #24
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    It depends which "me" you get. Most people hate "work" me but if you get "social" me, I can go on for hours. Most people around me know which I am as "work" me tends to be quite the bitch.

  25. #25
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    i consider myself an extremely big introvert but working in customer service for almost 10 years has taught me a thing or two about being with people.

  26. #26
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I'm not good upon first meeting people. I don't know how to make small talk, so usually I just stand there awkwardly trying to think of something to say.

    After I get to know someone (which usually requires something like school or work keeping us in close proximity) I'm still quiet, but I can hold a conversation as long as the topic is something I'm not totally clueless about.

    I don't do well in group conversations either. I usually just interject the odd comment every few minutes.

  27. #27
    JUB Addict goldenmoth's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Dreadful. What more information do you need?

  28. #28
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Undulating. Sometimes quite good, sometimes it resolves in communication failure. Works better somehow with ladies (maybe they think I'm one of them?).
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  29. #29
    Pianist
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Depends on my mood swings.

  30. #30
    tombastep
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    They're fine but I wouldn't go out and do it myself. I don't really like small talk either.

  31. #31
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    My people skills are pretty good. I easily talk with strangers and I am not intimidated by any of the usual things....

    Years ago after meeting me for an hour my therapist told me I was an introvert pretending to be an extrovert to protect the introvert. LOL She was a smart lady.....not sure about her assessment on THAT point.

  32. #32
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I think my people skills are okay. I used to be reallllly socially awkward when I was a kid. I do like to talk to new people once in a while.

  33. #33
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I'm a lot more comfortable with my people skills than I ever had any reason to believe would ever happen. Generally before adulthood I had almost no people skills AT ALL. I don't have skills for things such as remembering faces (unless I try exceptionally hard to do so, or there are repeating meetings), and I "assimilate" women's faces not quite as well, but all of it is a lot better than it used to be many years ago...also things like body language and facial emotions can be obscure or even unintelligible to me.

    That latter is supposed to be one of the hallmarks of Asperger's Syndrome, which I believe I have "mildly." However, the fact that I greatly enjoy in-person interactions is NOT something commonly attributed to that, usually.

    I enjoy meetings where the conversation can take unanticipated and unforseen twists and turns, quantum leaps, etc. (By "quantum leaps" I mean the conversation is "here" and suddenly it's in a totally unrelated "there" and there was NO in-between at all.)
    "All legal U. S. residents who are 18 years or older, shall have an unconditional right to vote." - We need a 28th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution which resembles this...NOW!

    VOTING: Just remember: "Be careful of what you DON'T wish for. You might just get it." GET OUT AND VOTE for what you DO wish for.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

  34. #34
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    It depends. If I get a good vibe from a person, I am usually a talker. But if not, then probably some awkward silence in between but I will still try to bring up some topics to chat about

  35. #35
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    My people skills are pretty good. I easily talk with strangers and I am not intimidated by any of the usual things....

    Years ago after meeting me for an hour my therapist told me I was an introvert pretending to be an extrovert to protect the introvert. LOL She was a smart lady.....not sure about her assessment on THAT point.

    that sounds about right tbh, i know a few ppl like this, actually a lot of ppl like this, many gay guys are like this for obvious reasons.
    http://forum.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic30903_2.gif

  36. #36

    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I have all the people/social skills of the Borg.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  37. #37
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    One habit I have, though, which I THINK can be off-putting to some people: My conversations, in physical presence, can have sort of a "jumpy" nature...because, in lieu of inserting a lot of "uh"s and "um"s and related filler syllables, usually there will be nothing, resulting in silent hesitations instead. I've been known to use some of those syllables as part of my vocabulary, though, and when I do that, I'll tend to use them more deliberately and emphatically than when they're just used as filler.

    Some people get irritated with people who insert a lot of UH's in their talk, but most likely many of the same people would find it harder to deal with the unvoiced hesitations which are the alternative. I think it's usually human nature to fill conversations with such nonsense syllables instead of leaving blank hesitations.

    Nature abhors a vacuum.

    OK, a questions for our INTERNATIONAL members (who live in countries where English is NOT the "first" language): I'm just curious - are "uh" and "um" universal, or is something else (such as "he" or "vu" or "fo" or "lala") used in your language when there's little bits of "dead air" to fill in a conversation?
    Last edited by frankfrank; December 11th, 2012 at 06:01 PM.
    "All legal U. S. residents who are 18 years or older, shall have an unconditional right to vote." - We need a 28th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution which resembles this...NOW!

    VOTING: Just remember: "Be careful of what you DON'T wish for. You might just get it." GET OUT AND VOTE for what you DO wish for.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

  38. #38
    GAYVIATOR ibill1's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Quote Originally Posted by frankfrank View Post
    One habit I have, though, which I THINK can be off-putting to some people: My conversations, in physical presence, can have sort of a "jumpy" nature...because, in lieu of inserting a lot of "uh"s and "um"s and related filler syllables, usually there will be nothing, resulting in silent hesitations instead. I've been known to use some of those syllables as part of my vocabulary, though, and when I do that, I'll tend to use them more deliberately and emphatically than when they're just used as filler.

    Some people get irritated with people who insert a lot of UH's in their talk, but most likely many of the same people would find it harder to deal with the unvoiced hesitations which are the alternative. I think it's usually human nature to fill conversations with such nonsense syllables instead of leaving blank hesitations.

    Nature abhors a vacuum.

    OK, a questions for our INTERNATIONAL members (who live in countries where English is NOT the "first" language): I'm just curious - are "uh" and "um" universal, or is something else (such as "he" or "vu" or "fo") used in your language when there's little bits of "dead air" to fill in a conversation?
    Good question. I've always wondered that, in conversations, do people speaking other languages do this also.

  39. #39
    JUB Addict menRsexii's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    theyre improving. since coming to college and getting a job, ive kinda been forced to come out of my shell a little bit. its good but can be hard at times. especially since im dealing with bdd and stuff. i have good days and bad

  40. #40
    Hard-up1
    Guest

    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I don't think I can answer candidly.

    Let's just say that my recent jobs have demanded more and more skill.

  41. #41
    Here's looking at you kid
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    A "skill" is something you learn and I must have been sick that day. So if you need help with people skills where do you find the book "People Skills 101"?



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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    hey world leadurs ans papa pen inkys > people discova on a planet earth

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    h

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    internet 2 air cum wit centurys vintage poo
    -OLAY-"smile"-OLAY-

  43. #43
    JUB Addict goldenmoth's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    I have all the people/social skills of the Borg.
    Ha! You're my type of people!

  44. #44
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    not say borg a kind is ways a eons make

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  45. #45
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I would say I have great people skills. I don't have trouble starting or keeping a conversation going with anyone.

  46. #46
    Filling in for Tits McGee kevbo's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I can be quite extroverted.

  47. #47
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    Quote Originally Posted by frankfrank View Post
    One habit I have, though, which I THINK can be off-putting to some people: My conversations, in physical presence, can have sort of a "jumpy" nature...because, in lieu of inserting a lot of "uh"s and "um"s and related filler syllables, usually there will be nothing, resulting in silent hesitations instead. I've been known to use some of those syllables as part of my vocabulary, though, and when I do that, I'll tend to use them more deliberately and emphatically than when they're just used as filler.

    Some people get irritated with people who insert a lot of UH's in their talk, but most likely many of the same people would find it harder to deal with the unvoiced hesitations which are the alternative. I think it's usually human nature to fill conversations with such nonsense syllables instead of leaving blank hesitations.

    Nature abhors a vacuum.


    OK, a questions for our INTERNATIONAL members (who live in countries where English is NOT the "first" language): I'm just curious - are "uh" and "um" universal, or is something else (such as "he" or "vu" or "fo" or "lala") used in your language when there's little bits of "dead air" to fill in a conversation?
    I guess all languages have their own sets of filler sounds and interjections... what I know for sure is that different cultures/languages have different conversational tempo etiquette: I do remember a language class teacher giving us the example of conversations in English, Spanish and Japanese where English speakers would wait for the interlocutor to finish speaking to answer immediately (continuity of speech) when Spanish speakers will alternatively interrupt one another to show they are interested/passionate in the convo and ideas/answers are flowing (which English speakers would consider rude), whereas on the opposite Japanese speakers will not only wait for the interlocutor to finish speaking but also keep silent a little afterwards to show they respect/consider what they've just been told...

    I tend to alternate between the Spanish way when I get passionate about a topic (and I'm often afraid of being rude because of that) and the Japanese way when alternative/new data in the convo forces me to rethink/revalidate my argument.

    My "people skills" are low because I'm useless at small (uninteresting) talks, and not smart/literate enough for more intellectual ones...
    Last edited by Nishin; December 13th, 2012 at 04:40 PM.

  48. #48
    internet junkie JOHN B's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    I'm not very good at making friends, ...and I am lost in a crowd in anything more than a group of three, lol. But I am in retail, and love talking to people one on one. I am open and friendly in those situations, and have had numerous compliments given to the management, about me. I just wish I could use those skills in "the real world".....:/
    <img src=file:///C:/Users/john%20b/Documents/New%20Cleveland%20area%20pics/Cleveland%20view%20stone%20wall.jpg/>

    http://allaroundhere.tumblr.com/

  49. #49
    ForeverSingle+Unloveable 72-Jay's Avatar
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    Re: How are your "people skills?"

    My 'people skills' ? ... basically non-existent
    I'm quiet & shy, and in general no good with the whole social interaction thing

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