How are your "people skills?"

[wanker90]

I've been told that I don't have "people skills." Meaning that if a random person were to strike up a conversation with me, I'd totally just freeze up and not know what to say. Thus bringing the conversation to an awkward halt.

[AlmondMilk]

I have none :|

Unfortunately, I'd probably need alcohol to not freeze up. That is, unless the guy makes me feel comfortable and we actually have a connection.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

awsum

thankyou

[ibill1]

Actually, not to brag much, but mine are excellent, at least that is what I have been told. I can hold a conversation with a tortoise.

[Rolyo85]

I'm a great people person on first glance. On second they think I'm mocking them. On third, they find out I'm not and they usually love me ^_^

[Telstra]

I've been told that I don't have "people skills." Meaning that if a random person were to strike up a conversation with me, I'd totally just freeze up and not know what to say. Thus bringing the conversation to an awkward halt.

but your people skills on the forum is excellent!!!

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Vastly inferior to my cocksucking skills.

[GregKII]

I've been called everything from charming to manipulative. It depends on who I'm with.

[refujiunderground]

funny. it depends who i'm with. some people say i'm shy. some say that i'm good with people.

[cityboy-stl]

I've been told that I don't have "people skills." Meaning that if a random person were to strike up a conversation with me, I'd totally just freeze up and not know what to say. Thus bringing the conversation to an awkward halt.

I've always been like that, even with people I know. It is the greatest source of despair in my life.

[TheLyingGame]

Great.. once we start talking.

I'm a nervous wreck before hand.

[AWP82]

It varies depending on my mood or the situation, but generally, I'm the quiet, laid-back type. I have my lively moments, though.

[whydatkine]

So-so. I tend to only "freeze" up when the person talking to me is attractive. Male or female, I'm bisexual. Only when they talk to me unexpectedly though but if I'm approaching them I'm fine.

What sucks is my conversation skills. I usually don't know what to say because I'm naturally just quiet. So I guess you can say that affects my social skills. A lot of people told me that I'm so mellow and chill, which I like. It irks me that people just automatically assume because you don't say much that you're "shy" when there's a big difference with being shy and being quiet.

[Swellegant]

I have fantastic people skills, so long as I have a context in which I feel safe... like at work. I have a reason to interact with people, even strangers, and that get me over that initial "I don't know what to say." I am polite to everyone, even people who don't deserve it (and even more polite to people who piss me off), and never say things in anger or frustration. And I answer questions about myself quite candidly, sometimes I have to remind myself that a piece of information is best kept to myself.

What stumps me, though, is when I don't have a reason to talk to someone, like at a party or what-have-you, or when I have to approach someone who hasn't provided me with a context. I cannot begin a conversation, but once someone else starts one, I can roll with it as long as they can.

[The Fly]

I can hold a conversation with a tortoise.

Really, a particular tortoise or any random tortoise you meet on the street....? J/K


I guess "people skills" are like any other skills, the more you practice the more they'll improve.

[Seasoned]

Mine are good after growing up extremely introverted.

[BENDERBOY]

I'm more shy in real life than i am on here, but i can still manage to hold a conversation with most people,

[johaninsc]

usually they're great, unless I'm in a foul mood


like now

[CupidBoy]

I'm more shy in real life than i am on here, but i can still manage to hold a conversation with most people,

Aw, me too.

[secondmonkey]

Great, if I've had some alcohol.

[reone]

It's very circumstantial, but overall I would say that I do well communicating with people. As far as forming relationships with people and dealing with them, that is much trickier territory for many reasons.

[xbuzzerx]

Mine are as good as people deserve!

For example, Huntneo gets hugs.

SEX KITTENS GET BURNS!

[JP.]

what you see is not what you get

[maxpowr9]

It depends which "me" you get. Most people hate "work" me but if you get "social" me, I can go on for hours. Most people around me know which I am as "work" me tends to be quite the bitch.

[Drugstore Cowboy]

i consider myself an extremely big introvert but working in customer service for almost 10 years has taught me a thing or two about being with people.

[Efrackalecki]

I'm not good upon first meeting people. I don't know how to make small talk, so usually I just stand there awkwardly trying to think of something to say.

After I get to know someone (which usually requires something like school or work keeping us in close proximity) I'm still quiet, but I can hold a conversation as long as the topic is something I'm not totally clueless about.

I don't do well in group conversations either. I usually just interject the odd comment every few minutes.

[goldenmoth]

Dreadful. What more information do you need?

[freefall]

Undulating. Sometimes quite good, sometimes it resolves in communication failure. Works better somehow with ladies (maybe they think I'm one of them?).

[Pianist]

Depends on my mood swings.

[tombastep]

They're fine but I wouldn't go out and do it myself. I don't really like small talk either.

[eastofeden]

My people skills are pretty good. I easily talk with strangers and I am not intimidated by any of the usual things....

Years ago after meeting me for an hour my therapist told me I was an introvert pretending to be an extrovert to protect the introvert. LOL She was a smart lady.....not sure about her assessment on THAT point.

[Scealle]

I think my people skills are okay. I used to be reallllly socially awkward when I was a kid. I do like to talk to new people once in a while.

[frankfrank]

I'm a lot more comfortable with my people skills than I ever had any reason to believe would ever happen. Generally before adulthood I had almost no people skills AT ALL. I don't have skills for things such as remembering faces (unless I try exceptionally hard to do so, or there are repeating meetings), and I "assimilate" women's faces not quite as well, but all of it is a lot better than it used to be many years ago...also things like body language and facial emotions can be obscure or even unintelligible to me.

That latter is supposed to be one of the hallmarks of Asperger's Syndrome, which I believe I have "mildly." However, the fact that I greatly enjoy in-person interactions is NOT something commonly attributed to that, usually.

I enjoy meetings where the conversation can take unanticipated and unforseen twists and turns, quantum leaps, etc. (By "quantum leaps" I mean the conversation is "here" and suddenly it's in a totally unrelated "there" and there was NO in-between at all.)

[glasvegas]

It depends. If I get a good vibe from a person, I am usually a talker. But if not, then probably some awkward silence in between but I will still try to bring up some topics to chat about

[evanrick]

My people skills are pretty good. I easily talk with strangers and I am not intimidated by any of the usual things....

Years ago after meeting me for an hour my therapist told me I was an introvert pretending to be an extrovert to protect the introvert. LOL She was a smart lady.....not sure about her assessment on THAT point.

that sounds about right tbh, i know a few ppl like this, actually a lot of ppl like this, many gay guys are like this for obvious reasons.

[borg69unimatrix]

I have all the people/social skills of the Borg.

[frankfrank]

One habit I have, though, which I THINK can be off-putting to some people: My conversations, in physical presence, can have sort of a "jumpy" nature...because, in lieu of inserting a lot of "uh"s and "um"s and related filler syllables, usually there will be nothing, resulting in silent hesitations instead. I've been known to use some of those syllables as part of my vocabulary, though, and when I do that, I'll tend to use them more deliberately and emphatically than when they're just used as filler.

Some people get irritated with people who insert a lot of UH's in their talk, but most likely many of the same people would find it harder to deal with the unvoiced hesitations which are the alternative. I think it's usually human nature to fill conversations with such nonsense syllables instead of leaving blank hesitations.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

OK, a questions for our INTERNATIONAL members (who live in countries where English is NOT the "first" language): I'm just curious - are "uh" and "um" universal, or is something else (such as "he" or "vu" or "fo" or "lala") used in your language when there's little bits of "dead air" to fill in a conversation?

[ibill1]

One habit I have, though, which I THINK can be off-putting to some people: My conversations, in physical presence, can have sort of a "jumpy" nature...because, in lieu of inserting a lot of "uh"s and "um"s and related filler syllables, usually there will be nothing, resulting in silent hesitations instead. I've been known to use some of those syllables as part of my vocabulary, though, and when I do that, I'll tend to use them more deliberately and emphatically than when they're just used as filler.

Some people get irritated with people who insert a lot of UH's in their talk, but most likely many of the same people would find it harder to deal with the unvoiced hesitations which are the alternative. I think it's usually human nature to fill conversations with such nonsense syllables instead of leaving blank hesitations.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

OK, a questions for our INTERNATIONAL members (who live in countries where English is NOT the "first" language): I'm just curious - are "uh" and "um" universal, or is something else (such as "he" or "vu" or "fo") used in your language when there's little bits of "dead air" to fill in a conversation?

Good question. I've always wondered that, in conversations, do people speaking other languages do this also.

[menRsexii]

theyre improving. since coming to college and getting a job, ive kinda been forced to come out of my shell a little bit. its good but can be hard at times. especially since im dealing with bdd and stuff. i have good days and bad

[Hard-up1]

I don't think I can answer candidly.

Let's just say that my recent jobs have demanded more and more skill.

[cityboy-stl]

A "skill" is something you learn and I must have been sick that day. So if you need help with people skills where do you find the book "People Skills 101"?

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

hey world leadurs ans papa pen inkys > people discova on a planet earth

titturs

* wot ? call in da exterminators *
charmin !

h

thankyou

[goldenmoth]

I have all the people/social skills of the Borg.

Ha! You're my type of people!

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

not say borg a kind is ways a eons make

top (1st ) world lands systems keep fail basics
ans a spin da ways keep da days all in fog
just so keep a useless job
no surprise internet 2 a ways it is

anyway it a world thang is

good one topic maker

thankyou

hppy porn day ans sattalites wanna polish ya lens

[gayguy21]

I would say I have great people skills. I don't have trouble starting or keeping a conversation going with anyone.

[kevbo]

I can be quite extroverted.

[Nishin]

One habit I have, though, which I THINK can be off-putting to some people: My conversations, in physical presence, can have sort of a "jumpy" nature...because, in lieu of inserting a lot of "uh"s and "um"s and related filler syllables, usually there will be nothing, resulting in silent hesitations instead. I've been known to use some of those syllables as part of my vocabulary, though, and when I do that, I'll tend to use them more deliberately and emphatically than when they're just used as filler.

Some people get irritated with people who insert a lot of UH's in their talk, but most likely many of the same people would find it harder to deal with the unvoiced hesitations which are the alternative. I think it's usually human nature to fill conversations with such nonsense syllables instead of leaving blank hesitations.

Nature abhors a vacuum.


OK, a questions for our INTERNATIONAL members (who live in countries where English is NOT the "first" language): I'm just curious - are "uh" and "um" universal, or is something else (such as "he" or "vu" or "fo" or "lala") used in your language when there's little bits of "dead air" to fill in a conversation?

I guess all languages have their own sets of filler sounds and interjections... what I know for sure is that different cultures/languages have different conversational tempo etiquette: I do remember a language class teacher giving us the example of conversations in English, Spanish and Japanese where English speakers would wait for the interlocutor to finish speaking to answer immediately (continuity of speech) when Spanish speakers will alternatively interrupt one another to show they are interested/passionate in the convo and ideas/answers are flowing (which English speakers would consider rude), whereas on the opposite Japanese speakers will not only wait for the interlocutor to finish speaking but also keep silent a little afterwards to show they respect/consider what they've just been told...

I tend to alternate between the Spanish way when I get passionate about a topic (and I'm often afraid of being rude because of that) and the Japanese way when alternative/new data in the convo forces me to rethink/revalidate my argument.

My "people skills" are low because I'm useless at small (uninteresting) talks, and not smart/literate enough for more intellectual ones...

[JOHN B]

I'm not very good at making friends, ...and I am lost in a crowd in anything more than a group of three, lol. But I am in retail, and love talking to people one on one. I am open and friendly in those situations, and have had numerous compliments given to the management, about me. I just wish I could use those skills in "the real world".....:/

[72-Jay]

My 'people skills' ? ... basically non-existent
I'm quiet & shy, and in general no good with the whole social interaction thing