Hi, I'm new to this forum but have occasionally read posts from here.
I was just looking for some insight into my current situation.
Part 1: Love at first sight
Alright, so to start: I had been with my now ex-girlfriend for about 8 years, things were going well, we were in love (blah blah blah and all that mushy stuff). Well I noticed a changed in her in the last few months and it finally came out that she was unsure if she was still in love with me. To make matters worst, she also had this douchy guy from work she would hang out with on multiple occasions and, finally, THE CHERRY ON TOP, she dumped me one day at the mall and went to his place and slept with him (might I add that we had wicked morning sex the same day!). Needless to say, I was pissed as f* and felt like the biggest loser of life.
Part 2: The reveal
Although I was 110% satisfied sleeping with a woman, I've always known that I would feel equally comfortable with a man (I've always seen "people" as attractive, not men or women... I guess that would make me bisexual). I brought this up to her on a few occasions and she said mockingly said that I must be gay deep down and I'm just denying it.
Part 3: Experimentation
And so, after she dumped me and started hanging out with mr. douchebag, I decided that a)I was pissed and wanted a random hookup and b) maybe it would be a good time to explore things with a guy. I ended up meeting a guy at a bar and brought him home. He was super nice and had a buff body and a short but thick penis. We pretty much tried everything and, although the newness was enticing, I felt disappointed and disgusted in the end.
Round 2: My lovely ex then decided a few days later to tell me that she might like to date the guy and had the nerve to ask me if I could leave for a while so that he could come over (yeah, selfish doesn't even begin to describe her right now). PISSED OFF ONCE AGAIN. I then met another nerdy but cute guy online and, well, this may be completely sexist of me to say but guys are ridiculously easy to get into bed. And so once again I found myself with a stranger exchanging blowjobs, rimming and having anal sex but still not feeling any satisfaction (couldn't even cum either times and this may be TMI but that usually isn't a concern of mine )
Round 3: 10 minutes ago
Decided that maybe these 2 guys weren't my type and that I should actually find a guy that I think is super hot. This led me to meeting a 6 foot, green eyed, dark skin buff guy with a 7" appendage (and he was super funny and easy going)... we did all the fun stuff, he came, I politely asked him to leave and now I'm here, once again, wondering what the f* am I doing?!
I've now had 3 experiences with guys, have not enjoyed neither of them but I have always considered myself bi and often get the "holy crap that guy is hot!".
So now I'm wondering if I'm not actually bisexual but am just using one night stands with guys cause they're "easy" and gives me that temporary relief from being myself OR if I actually do like guys as well and I'm just not able to handle random hookups?
So sorry about the ridiculously long story... thank you for reading and have a great night