Going to my first gay club

[wanker90]

In an attempt to get me out of my shell, my roommate (straight) is taking me out to my very first gay club tomorrow night. He claims I mope around too much, and things might "turn around" for me if I find a man. Only problem is, I not crazy about this whole gay club idea. I understand he cares and wants to help, but I hate big crowds like that. Now I need to find a way to get out of going. Should I come down with a sudden illness. After all, it is flu season.

[BENDERBOY]

Why not just go ? live a little.

[blublud]

You REALLY DO NEED TO GO, wanker. It'll be good for you even if not a totally successful nite out.

[CupidBoy]

Go out and have fun.

[geep2b]

bless your roommate and go have fun

[MoufOfKhaos]

Jeez man. Your straight friend is trying all he can to get you out there so you can live a little and all you seem to be able to do is bitch and moan about it.

I want to have a Cher moment and slap you in order to tell you life isn't as scary, isn't out to get you, and all you have to do is live a little bit at a time in order to open up. So put on your sunday best(or borrow his atrocious suspenders), get all gussied up, and GO - just because you met a scant few bad apples doesn't mean all the gays in the world are out to read you to filth; if you believed that, you wouldn't be on this site. I'd kill to have had a friend like that when I was younger - straight, bi, gay, male or female. Stop pushing life away before you find yourself wanting so bad to have someone that gives a damn like he does.

I want the next thread you make to be that you at least went OUT with your friend.

[xbuzzerx]

In an attempt to get me out of my shell, my roommate (straight) is taking me out to my very first gay club tomorrow night. He claims I mope around too much, and things might "turn around" for me if I find a man. Only problem is, I not crazy about this whole gay club idea. I understand he cares and wants to help, but I hate big crowds like that. Now I need to find a way to get out of going. Should I come down with a sudden illness. After all, it is flu season.

You post here all the time talking about your trouble with social situations and making friends.

Now you're asking us to give you excuses to not go out.

If you're not serious about getting better why do you even ask for advice? It's a waste of time.

[HunterM]

I agree with your roommate. You mope around too much here too.

He is a great friend...looking out for you. Go. Keep an open mind. Have fun!

[eastofeden]

Whatever you do...dont' go in and complain about the club or the people or people in general. I say this because alot of first timers who are not entirely comfortable project that to other people and it is never a good idea.

I know people say that looks are everything and I know they are wrong ...I worked in a gay club for probably as many years as you have been alive...and ATTITUDE is much more important than looks. Try not to judge other people or objectify them because people can feel negative energy whether they identify it or not.

Just turn off your mind...and have fun!

[jensu846]

have a couple beers first at home to loosen up, then definitely go and have a blast!

[refujiunderground]

looks like he went to the club. let us know about how it went.

hopefully, you get an early christmas present of some well needed ass. you deserve it.

[wanker90]

looks like he went to the club. let us know about how it went.

hopefully, you get an early christmas present of some well needed ass. you deserve it.

We're supposed to be going tomorrow night. I don't think I'm up for it though

[refujiunderground]

We're supposed to be going tomorrow night. I don't think I'm up for it though

just go. at first, it's nervewracking but once you're there, you'll feel a great weight lifted off your shoulders. you'll be fine.

[loveguys72]

Go. Have fun. Be young and carefree. Most of all, be thankful you have such thoughtful and supportive friends.

[Ganoderma]

Great you have a straight room mate who cares so much about you that he wants you to take you out to a gay club. So go and see how things are over there. Have fun, and please keep us informed.

[blackbeltninja]

We're supposed to be going tomorrow night. I don't think I'm up for it though

Just go already! Jeebers.

This guy sounds amazing and just wants to help you out a bit; don't waste his efforts or he's not going to want to try again and then where will that leave you??


-d-

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

like gay websites on internet 2 charmin is ans awsum websites wot got bit a nice fa awsum public wot not get it in Internet 1

try no say gay this ans gay that every second
ans depend where on planet folk a no idea wot ya on about cause
centurys a human awsum cutltures still in play

there go

ans handy ya no how make maps cause lot folk no idea how get back theire a hotels etc

ha

[whydatkine]

You should go out. It's good for you. I'm 21 and since I got acne in the 6th grade it really messed up my self esteem. I'm trying to get out of my shell now and on most weekends, I tend to stay home while my friends go out because I'd rather stay in my comfort zone. When I do go out though, I never regret it. So it's my goal for 2013 to really put myself in the most awkward social situations until I learn not to give a f-ck.

P.S.: If that's you in the avatar you're not that bad. If I saw you at a club I'd probably try to make out with you lol. (No, that's not me in my avatar lol)

[glasvegas]

I think wanker90 has social anxiety? I have a friend who told me he dislikes crowd and talking to new people, it makes him really uncomfortable. But wanker90, let go your fears and see the world. It might be not what you expected, it might be not as pleasant as you thought, but give yourself a chance, you have a great friend there, you have someone take care of you. Just go with the flow, if things get really nasty, just ask your friend to take you home. No big deal, as long you try.

Best of luck mate.

[rareboy]

You post here all the time talking about your trouble with social situations and making friends.

Now you're asking us to give you excuses to not go out.

If you're not serious about getting better why do you even ask for advice? It's a waste of time.

I have to say that I'm coming to the same conclusion.

You threads are relentlessly negative and self pitying....yet we never see any movement on your part to try to make your life richer and better and emotionally healthier.

I will say again. Based on everything you have posted, I seriously recommend professional assessment and counselling for you before this becomes the pattern for your whole life. You are building a prison for yourself.

Stop it.

[GregKII]

Once you get in there, you're going to LOVE IT!

[wanker90]

So I've decided I'm gonna go. I'll let you guys know how it went. Wish me luck

[refujiunderground]

So I've decided I'm gonna go. I'll let you guys know how it went. Wish me luck

you'll be fine and i bet you'll be happy as hell that you went.

[MissAnne]

So I've decided I'm gonna go. I'll let you guys know how it went. Wish me luck

Buena Suerte......

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

So I've decided I'm gonna go. I'll let you guys know how it went. Wish me luck

da wearywolvfys a howl ans a hoot hoot
* screammmmmmmmmmmmmmm *
ans dude take of head ans grin
* Screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamm *
ans dude go think remab earplugs next time ans sign 10million butts
* will neva wash butt again screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam then faint ans end *

thankyou

[cgymike]

Bring yer Iphone and tell us LIVE what's going on....

[wanker90]

So I ended up going and I had a pretty good time. My roommate kept trying to get me to randomly dance with guys, but I was too scared. Although I didn't meet or dance with anyone it was nice to get out. The music was great, too! I've realized I'm such a wall flower. We just sat on the stools the entire night and talked about our classes. We could have done that in our dorm lol

[refujiunderground]

So I ended up going and I had a pretty good time. My roommate kept trying to get me to randomly dance with guys, but I was too scared. Although I didn't meet or dance with anyone it was nice to get out. The music was great, too! I've realized I'm such a wall flower. We just sat on the stools the entire night and talked about our classes. We could have done that in our dorm lol

congrats. are you planning on going again anytime soon?

[rareboy]

Well it is a start.

Now you can go there on your own since you have realized that you aren't going to be attacked or that it is a weird experience or anything.

Go get 'em.

[BrimstoneAndTreacle]

Glad you had a good time. As someone who also suffers from social anxiety, it will take time to gradually dissolve the defensiveness. The shell you're in is built out of the threat-based, fight-or-flight response. It's sort of built in at a very very deep level of your brain. causes you to basically want to hide yourself from possibly threatening situations. The good news is that the brain can be changed, with gradual exposure and acting outside of your habitual patterns. Going to a counselor has really helped me. I recommend a therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). If you don't want to go to an actual therapist, there's a good book that might help you out called The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

...Kool...

[Ganoderma]

Great you have done it and that you had a nice evening. Your roommate is really a very, very nice and understanding friend. So I hope you will soon go for another time. Take your time and get used to the idea that you will dance (for at least a while) at this next evening.

Take care and have a nice weekend.