JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

remove these banner ads by becoming a JUB Supporter.

Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1

    Coming out to a guy I like

    I've decided I'm going to email a guy who I've had a crash on for yrs. I sick of hiding my thoughts and I'm gonna tell him. I'm not looking for anything and I know for a fact nothing's gonna come out of this - the main reason I'm doing this is to put my mind at ease and to get on with my life rather than constantly think about him. The problem is I'm not sure how to word it or what to say. Just short and to the point. Any advice?

  2. #2
    FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE! TX-Beau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Austin
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Open Relationship
    Posts
    8,061

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    If he's straight? Don't do it.

    You will weird him out. No matter how nice he is about it you will put a barrier between the two of you.

    Think about what you're telling him, "I've been crushing on you in silence for years, and I expect nothing and know nothing will never happen so here are my feelings dropped in your lap DEAL WITH THEM because I NEED to do this FOR ME"

    That's not being a friend.

    I blame Hollywood for making movies in which this kinda stuff looks romantic - it isn't and he's not going to find it a compliment.

    I have never understood the need to do something like this. If you can't control your feelings without a humiliating rejection which can't but make you look a little pathetic (really? YEARS pining for the impossible?) perhaps there is more going on here than just a harmless crush. Like maybe this is a crutch, so you don't have to go make a real gamble with your feelings?
    ATTACK OF THE LIBERAL ELITE

  3. #3

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    Definitely know where you're coming from, but I'm never gonna see him again. Honestly, I don't care about the rejection or whatever the outcome may cause. The reasoning behind my pathetic-ness is personal issues which has led me to this state, and I personally feel that this needs to be done for my mental health.

  4. #4
    FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE! TX-Beau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Austin
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Open Relationship
    Posts
    8,061

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    Dude, if you're gonna do it you're gonna do it. Almost all of us have done this at least once. It doesn't end well.

    I'm more concerned with these "personal issues" which require you to confess your love to a straight guy you're never going to see again. Perhaps we need to be discussing that. Plus that you apparently think it's OK to use this guy as part of your therapeutic process. That comes across as kinda selfish.

    Maybe instead, you go tell someone else with whom you feel comfortable discussing your issues, a counselor maybe?
    ATTACK OF THE LIBERAL ELITE

  5. #5
    Coward92
    Guest

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    I think you should do what it feels best OP.
    It would bring you some sort of "closure" right?
    You just want the tension to end? Then I think this is exactly what you have to do.
    Whether he is cool with it or not, you are free.

  6. #6
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    6,015

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    There is a therapeutic technique which would have you write what you propose without sending it. It's also sometimes suggested to write the imagined response. I think it could help you without hurting or confusing him. Good luck to you.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  7. #7

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    Why not come out to somebody who is gay or bi?? I'm with the other two posters who gave you great advice by saying don't do it. I did the exact same thing you're thinking of and it ended terribly. How ever bad you feel now, believe me you will feel worse after you tell him. Oh, you'll feel better for the first hour or so but then you'll feel like total shit for weeks and months, at least I did. I'll never tell a straight guy I have a crush on him again. From his standpoint, what is he supposed to do w/ that info anyway?? It's not going to make him want to sleep with you. If you're gay, it's just like having a girl tell you they have been in love with you for years. What are you supposed to do about it??
    If you decide to tell him anyway, all I can say is we warned you.

  8. #8
    JUB Addict jensu846's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    2,474

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    i came out to a crush I had on for literally 6 years. I finally told him after about 3 years that not only was I gay, but I have loved him sooo much. Well, he said its "all good" but he just isnt gay (which I still think hes bi) and thanks, but, no thanks. We never really got past it. Everytime we would see each other I know he was thinking that I was undressing him with my eyes or some shit. I dont know, it just sucked all around. We dont even talk anymore. I am glad I told him ONLY for the fact that it helped me slowly get over him. It was more theraputic than anything.
    Did you tell you crush yet? like to know how yours went.

  9. #9

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    I think you should pick a situation and tell him face to face, then all your questions will be answered at once.
    You need to get an answer and this is the only way you will be able to judge his reaction, know that he knows and move on.
    Lets know how you go, I have been there, it is a hpoeless pursuit, so sort it out.
    Good luck !
    Last edited by genthree; December 9th, 2012 at 12:44 PM.

  10. #10
    JUB Addict innocentbychoice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Status
    Dating
    Posts
    1,877

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Coming out to a guy I like

    Quote Originally Posted by TX-Beau View Post
    If he's straight? Don't do it.

    You will weird him out. No matter how nice he is about it you will put a barrier between the two of you.

    Think about what you're telling him, "I've been crushing on you in silence for years, and I expect nothing and know nothing will never happen so here are my feelings dropped in your lap DEAL WITH THEM because I NEED to do this FOR ME"

    That's not being a friend.

    I blame Hollywood for making movies in which this kinda stuff looks romantic - it isn't and he's not going to find it a compliment.

    I have never understood the need to do something like this. If you can't control your feelings without a humiliating rejection which can't but make you look a little pathetic (really? YEARS pining for the impossible?) perhaps there is more going on here than just a harmless crush. Like maybe this is a crutch, so you don't have to go make a real gamble with your feelings?
    I definitely agree with this. Just think how you'd feel if a close female friend of yours told you all of the sudden that she's in love with you and that has been for so many years...AWKWARD. So no. As somebody else suggested, it's better for you to write a letter just to get your thoughts organized and never send it.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.