anxiety and homophobia.

[refujiunderground]

i've been trying to get as much help as i can towards getting more comfortable with myself and my sexuality. i've made a good deal of progress within the past year and some months. i was doing good where i felt myself inching and inching up to the point where i could see myself being entirely out. however, i notice that the feelings of homophobia are coming up again. i guess that's because i'm not crushing on anybody or whatever so i have that urge to push all of this to the back as if it never happened. i want to go back to the way that i was living before since i'm no longer being reminded that i am gay where i'm haunted by my thoughts and feelings. i felt a lot more better with myself when i was thinking to myself that i was straight even though i was fighting feelings for the same sex. i felt more at ease than i do now. how do i get over this feeling of wanting to run away and regress into the person i was? i know that the only thing that will do is make me be in the same boat that i was in years ago.

[innocentbychoice]

I don't know if there's a "correct" answer or solution for the guilt, the sadness and the depression that comes with not accepting oneself; everybody's journey is different, I can only tell you by my experience and what really helped me get over the self-rejection because I was gay was meeting other gay friends and realizing that I wasn't doing anything wrong. Once I surrounded myself with positive gay influences in my life everything else started falling in place.

[Rolyo85]

I believe coming out would be a solid step. People often mistake coming out with the end of the journey to self-acceptance. But it's the beginning!

[Seasoned]

I don't know if there's a "correct" answer or solution for the guilt, the sadness and the depression that comes with not accepting oneself; everybody's journey is different, I can only tell you by my experience and what really helped me get over the self-rejection because I was gay was meeting other gay friends and realizing that I wasn't doing anything wrong. Once I surrounded myself with positive gay influences in my life everything else started falling in place.

BINGO!

I don't think there could be a better answer or better advice. A peer group would be of enormous benefit.

Stay connected with us as you take those steps. Best wishes.

[CupidBoy]

You could use this forum as a way to connect with the gay community too refuji.

So you are attracted to guys. So what! There's nothing wrong with that, why don't you focus on the good things about being gay instead of worrying about how others judge you? It's not important, at the end of the day it's your life and whether you suck dick or not is not important. It's just how you were wired, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I've said this to you many times since I've been here, but since you posted in this section I figured I'd offer my thoughts again. Maybe you mean it, if so start accepting the cards you were dealt and cheer up, life is too short.