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  1. #1

    First time hooking up on adam4adam

    What red flags should i look for when meeting up with a person? What about messaging?

  2. #2
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    follow your instincts

  3. #3
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    Yeah it's really about instincts. I'm trying to talk to a few guys from A4A but not much luck so far.

    Have you find a guy to meet with yet?

  4. #4

    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    Red flag No. 1: No indication of poz/neg status. I know this sounds cynical, but to protect yourself, assume anyone who doesn't list status is HIV+. Now, this doesn't mean you have to block conversation with them--but be up front about asking why its not in their profile and use instinct to gauge what you hear back.

    Red flag No. 2: No indication of safe sex/bareback. Exactly the same reasons as above.

    Yellow flag No 1: Negotiating where to meet. I'm pro-public place, a neutral environment to vet safety and rapey-ness. Bonus: if you choose a bar, hey--DRINKS! On occasion, I've gone direct to people's places if my instinct made me think it'd be okay. I'd say it's been fine 2/3 of the time, creepy 1/3. But it varies--and instinct varies from person to person. Just keep your radar up.

    Yellow flag No. 2: Deceiving photos. You gotta learn to look through the tricks that make people different in person than what you saw online. Face shots are usually pretty true, but pics without sunglasses are best. Body shots are tricky--the truest are usually in standing positions; instinct's pretty good for body shots a guy takes when hes sitting or lying down in bed. Junk shots are very easy to fake from above or below can make it inches larger than in person. They're truest when taken as part of the body shot.

    Green flag No. 1: Measurements. Every guy is 2"-3" shorter in real life. Every guy weighs 5-15 lbs. more in real life. Every guy claims an extra 1"-3" in penis size on a4a. If a statistical study were made on the penis size using a4a data alone, we'd probably find out that the average size of the US dick is like 9". So take that with a grain of salt.

    Green flag No. 2: Age. Guys who are 20 on a4a are between 16-23 in real life; guys who are 25 on a4a, 23-28 in real life; guys in their 30s on a4a are lying by 2-4 years; guys in their 40s on a4a can be as old as 65.

  5. #5

    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    Quote Originally Posted by naughtyeddie View Post
    follow your instincts
    1+

  6. #6
    Sex God Str8Top14701's Avatar
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    Meet someplace public if you cant talk on the phone or cam first. Don't feel awkward about bailing if they don't show up on cam or in person like they said they would. Take your time, be patient, and don't let anyone pressure you to meet.

  7. #7

    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    Quote Originally Posted by jubdown5 View Post
    Yeah it's really about instincts. I'm trying to talk to a few guys from A4A but not much luck so far.

    Have you find a guy to meet with yet?
    yeah, i found a guy to meet up with. but he flaked out on me twice lol. we were suppose to meet up and then go somewhere quiet, since both of us cant host at our places. first time, i told him to meet me at a public place, no call/no show. when i messaged him, he said that he was uncomfortable at a public place because hes very discrete. second time around, we agreed to meet up at a drug store parking lot. no call/no show again.

  8. #8
    Sex God hanzosword's Avatar
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    I only used a4a twice to meet guys and they were as they appeared online. What I would do next time is ask for a picture a pic of their photo ID like a license or something and have them text it to me. I would send mine too of course but that way you could know for sure what they look like if they didn't change too drastically since they took the picture lol. They actually recommend that on the a4a site somewhere.

  9. #9
    A Total Bottom mbamike's Avatar
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    Most of the guys I've hooked up with have come from A4A and Manhunt. A few from Grindr. I normally get a face picture, body picture, their first name and a cell phone number. If the guy gives me the creeps I tell them no thanks. If he comes off deceptive, no thanks.
    If I get a sense he is OK, then I invite him over to my house.

    Most of the guys have been great.

    Homophobia kills!

  10. #10
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    Quote Originally Posted by shadowfang156 View Post
    yeah, i found a guy to meet up with. but he flaked out on me twice lol. we were suppose to meet up and then go somewhere quiet, since both of us cant host at our places. first time, i told him to meet me at a public place, no call/no show. when i messaged him, he said that he was uncomfortable at a public place because hes very discrete. second time around, we agreed to meet up at a drug store parking lot. no call/no show again.
    yeah that must suck. I just wish it was easier finding guys in person. I can look at a guy for 5 seconds in real life and tell if I wanna hook up with him.

    whenever guys send me pics online it's like 1 picture is amazing and the other makes them look horrible. then I can't tell if I'll really be attracted to them.

    and also guys say they're masculine, and they look it in pictures, but they turn out to have feminine voices. that happened to me once.

    I probably wouldn't meet in a public place though.

  11. #11
    Sex God Str8Top14701's Avatar
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    Look at the pics they use in their profile.
    -Do they look badly degraded, like a 5th gen pic taken with a bad phone camera?
    -If they have more than one pic, does their body stay consistent? body hair, shape skin tone, nipple size, musculature, cock shape (esp the head). There's some wiggle room for lighting, etc. but some things get kind of obviuous.
    -Look at the background. Is there a phone with a actual dial and the computer reads "386DX" on the desk?
    -If the guy's standing and the desk is waist level and he says he's 6' 4"...Not a good sign.


    I'll give anyone a second try at meeting, as shit happens. I know, it's happened to me.

  12. #12

    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    See I'm always worried about meeting some guy. You just don't know who is honest and who is a liar. Some many guys are just creeps on there. I'm not into like the direct hook up. I'm a virgin when it comes to this gay thing and I know no other gay men, and I'm in the closet so Adam4Adam feels like it's the best place to meet people but I'm always so cautious about that next step.

  13. #13
    dougmc92
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    my friend- Wess, who uses Adam4Adam all the time- most of the guys there are married men.

  14. #14
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    Re: First time hooking up on adam4adam

    I have good luck on a4a. The guys I have hooked up with look like their photos. I would say look at status & if they pratice safe sex.

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