My bf and his ex ...

[indudela]

The guy who I've been dating this year is hosting his ex this holiday weekend. Apparently, on the first day after we met, he told my bf that he is uncomfortable that I am around in his condo. So, my bf said to me that I needed to go home after helping him cook on wednesday. I sincerely felt that my bf's ex was pretentiously nice to me, and dinner was so awkward on Thursday. Again, my bf asked me to leave after dinner and stay away while his ex is town. My bf didn't kiss me good night as he always does on my way out, and all he said to me was "See you later."

Well, my bf has not returned my call or my text since then. I don't know what he's up to and where he is. I know for the fact that his ex is spending the night with my bf together in his bedroom because my bf lives in a one-bedroom condo. I wondered if they had sex. I went to my bf's room to put away his laundry before dinner on Thursday, and I saw condoms and a bottle of lube in his ex's open luggage.

Look, his ex is a very good looking man, and I am definitely not in his league. He is clearly still in love with my bf, because he kept referring himself and my bf as "WE" and my bf clearly returned his affection by touching, hugging, kissing him on the cheek, etc. When my bf told me several weeks ago that his ex is visiting, and I agreed to it. However, I never thought that things would turn out like this, and that I ended up being alone this holiday.

Maybe this is a good time for me to reevaluate what heck is happening with my relationship and make the appropriate move ...

[tombastep]

You definitely need to talk to your bf most definitely. It's pretty rude and suspicious to ask you to go away when the ex is around. I mean your boyfriend is with you and personally if any ex of mine was like that to me or my boyfriend, then that would be it with them.

[tombastep]

double post.

[indudela]

You definitely need to talk to your bf most definitely. It's pretty rude and suspicious to ask you to go away when the ex is around. I mean your boyfriend is with you and personally if any ex of mine was like that to me or my boyfriend, then that would be it with them.

I brought that up, and he said he just wanted to make sure that his ex is having a good time here in town on his vacation, and he is trying to be a good host.

[Laufey]

It doesnt matter what his reasons are, you dont kick out your current boyfriend for an ex.

You agreeing to this is pretty doormatish. Sorry but sometimes you need to hear the harsh truth.

[loki81]

if you guys are exclusive and in a serious relationship... yeah, just asking me to leave would have made me question his priorities, even if they didn't sleep together.

[tombastep]

I brought that up, and he said he just wanted to make sure that his ex is having a good time here in town on his vacation, and he is trying to be a good host.

Well, obviously that is not fair for you. He is making sure his ex is having a good time, but not you? If the ex has problems with you, they should be his problems exclusively and it have even the littlest affect on your relationship is not right. And especially since your boyfriend is catering to it.

[racer2438]

Your Bf, was/is rude, disrespectfull, and likely a cheater..

If he really cared for you and you him, their is no way in hell that I would send my bf home or he me so that the ex can have a good time.

if Someone told us that one had to go home, then we would BOTH go home...

this is so wrong on may points it's not even funny. IDK about you but he'd be 86'd in my book....what a slime ball

[refujiunderground]

is it just me or was there a post exactly like this some months back. i KNOW i saw this before. no joke. either a different screenname or the same guy saying the same exact shit.

[eastofeden]

What he did to you was completely disrespectful.

If I were in your shoes...instead of calling him my BF I would be referring to him as my "ex".

[Beachguyj]

Your boyfriend is just not that into you.

[indudela]

is it just me or was there a post exactly like this some months back. i KNOW i saw this before. no joke. either a different screenname or the same guy saying the same exact shit.

Not me ... you could trace my posts and I am sure there are people out there who might have the same issue.

[Laufey]

Are you really only gonna comment on that post after everything that has been said?

What do you plan to do?

[refujiunderground]

okay, i got you confused with another poster. the funny thing is him and you are both from chicago. i apologize, carry on.

[indudela]

Are you really only gonna comment on that post after everything that has been said?

What do you plan to do?

I really do not know to be honest with you ... I am so depressed right now, and I need to gain my composure and think this through. I still can't believe he didn't even return my call or my text from yesterday. Maybe he is not that into me, and I am just a doormat.

[rareboy]

What

The

Fuck?

Are you a doormat?

Throw his sorry ass out.

It is so over.

He has not only played you for a fool but was unforgivably hurtful to boot.

Let him have his ex back, because I can tell you sweetie...his ex has apparently never been out of the picture.

[Saybrooke]

I'd have whooped some ass! There is no way I'd have let that happen! If my bf said anything like that I'd have been like "if I'm leaving, I ain't coming back" trust me dude, you're much better off

[cgymike]

Communicate your disgust to your bf - he may not be aware how much you resent that sort of behaviour. Bring it up nicely first but add the disclaimer that if it happens again the relationship will be terminated by you without question as you find this disgraceful and unacceptable as well. If your bf loves you he will respect that red line and never cross it again. If he does ..well...adios!

[sixthson]

You refer to your bf as the guy you have been dating for the last year. I see a distinction between someone you are dating and a bf, but maybe I am nitpicking. If so, I apologize. It doesn't matter how you look at it, he is choosing his ex over you. Something is rotten in Denmark.

[Kien]

I'd drop him.

[Saybrooke]

I'd drop him.

Don't worry, I'd never cheat on you <3

[MetalSteff]

Is your self-esteem so low that you would allow such bullshit to be done to you??

come on man.. This is over. Tell him to fuck off and forget him.

And for the poster who recommended ''communication'', i say: communication is fine and dandy when the guy is worth fighting for. Any guy who would treat his boyfriend like he has treated the OP is a piece of shit. No communicating with shit.. you just flush it.

[MissAnne]

I had a boyfriend that allowed a friend of his (a girl) to stay with him because she was having money issues. He claimed that nothing was going on but after he began to dodge my texts and calls. I took the hint and ended it. He was indeed cheating on me with her.

Im going to be a downer right now : I dont know your bf but usually when a guy stops calling/texting it means that they are too much of a coward to break up with you. They want you to get fed up with their weird behavior resulting in you having to end it. I know that you are probably wanting answers and closure. However the guy may be too much of a douche to give them to you.

[Georgiadude]

Your "bf" is scum. If his "ex" was uncomfortable being around you that's his problem. Your bf should have told him to either get over it or leave. His giving you the boot was a clear sign that you're not a priority in his life. You obviously have some self esteem issues because you feel the ex is out of your league. Please. There isn't a league. We're all human. Don't allow him to make you feel bad about yourself. You deserve better. Tell the guy your dating to go pound sand. Even IF nothing happened (which we all know it did), the way he treated you is enough to tell him to fuck off. I'd send one more text. "IT'S OVER".

Steven.

[Huntneo(PT)]

Have you lost your mind!?

Seriously, OP...where is your mind?

I am normally the first one to try to come in and think of reasons why someone should be given a second chance--I usually say they may not have realized they were being disrespectful, recommend more communication, etc. but it does NOT apply in this case. Let him go. Dude has seriously put his EX BEFORE YOU. And for you to sit there and take this kind of treatment without properly reading his ass is just beyond comprehension for me.

Leave him to be with his "ex".

You smell like a doormat. Sorry if I come off rude (I'm not meaning to me), but it bothers me to read about someone allowing themselves to be walked all over. Please stop.

Again, my post comes from a place of love. lol

[looseliam]

What

The

Fuck?

Are you a doormat?

Throw his sorry ass out.

It is so over.

He has not only played you for a fool but was unforgivably hurtful to boot.

Let him have his ex back, because I can tell you sweetie...his ex has apparently never been out of the picture.

I had the same response and the same thought of action.

Want to send a message? Don't call him, don't answer his calls. Go out, have too many drinks and go home with some horny twink!

[Lestatnj]

I had a boyfriend that allowed a friend of his (a girl) to stay with him because she was having money issues. He claimed that nothing was going on but after he began to dodge my texts and calls. I took the hint and ended it. He was indeed cheating on me with her.

Im going to be a downer right now : I dont know your bf but usually when a guy stops calling/texting it means that they are too much of a coward to break up with you. They want you to get fed up with their weird behavior resulting in you having to end it. I know that you are probably wanting answers and closure. However the guy may be too much of a douche to give them to you.

This young lady speaks the truth. As Larry Hagman's mother Mary Martin once sang on Broadway, "wash that man right outta your hair"

[ronboy]

Maybe this is a good time for me to reevaluate what heck is happening with my relationship and make the appropriate move ...

You've already given yourself some good advice. Dump the chump.... And take Paul Simon's advice...

[BFizzle]

He's cheating on you. Trust me.

[johaninsc]

if you can, try to get together with him so you guys can have sex again...say anything you have to

and then at the first opportunity squirt a whole tube of super glue into the end of his dick and squeeze that mother fucker shut



...it will make his day

[Ryuukie]

Time to give your so-called boyfriend his walkimg papers. Sorry.

[DigitalFudge]

TApparently, on the first day after we met, he told my bf that he is uncomfortable that I am around in his condo

So, my bf said to me that I needed to go home after helping him cook on wednesday.

Again, my bf asked me to leave after dinner and stay away while his ex is town

.

My bf didn't kiss me good night as he always does on my way out, and all he said to me was "See you later."

Well, my bf has not returned my call or my text since then. I don't know what he's up to and where he is. I know for the fact that his ex is spending the night with my bf together in his bedroom because my bf lives in a one-bedroom condo.

I wondered if they had sex.

You wonder?

I went to my bf's room to put away his laundry before dinner on Thursday, and I saw condoms and a bottle of lube in his ex's open luggage.

Gurl






I honestly don't know who to cuss out. The people who think you can treat human beings any sort of way or the human beings who sit there and let themselves get treated any sort of way.


You should be your Boyfriend's priority not the level of enjoyment of some stranger's vacation who you don't know



Bye




I honestly fucking wish someone would tell me to get lost. Anyone. Let alone someone I have even a platonic relationship with. A romantic relationship, though? Gurl....

[DigitalFudge]

Just re-read the OP,


Gurl

Leave

[Huntneo(PT)]

OK!? I got angry FOR him when I was reading it.

[AWP82]

[honooryuu]

time to cut the ties. if you meant that much to him, he would have told his ex to get a hotel room. this was probably premeditated.

[Seasoned]

I'm afraid this isn't an ex. He's been cheating on his real bf with you.

[refujiunderground]

this is what happens when you date with...

[sixthson]

They were exes once before for a reason. They will be again.

[AlmondMilk]

What the hell. Please just get out of that relationship. Who knows if they still have feelings for each other. Just get out of it. He was out of line to treat you like that.

[Just_Believe18]

Well, you were just walked all over and watched as this affair happened right in front of you. You may as well have been holding the lube bottle and condoms for them until they needed it and handed it over.

Your boyfriend cheated on you. You should have put your foot down the moment an ex was sleeping in your boyfriend's bedroom.

There is no more relationship, and you're the last one to know it. That's why he's not answering your calls. Wow, I'm just surprised you let it go that far. I don't want to make you feel any worse than you already are though. I'm sorry you're going through this and were taken advantage of. Please break up with your boyfriend and never see him again.

I even partially agree with Seasoned that this ex may actually be his real boyfriend and that you're the "other man." Ouch.

[indudela]

Very sad ... but my bf just left me a voicemail saying "... loud music .... Hey babe, I am in a club with (his ex). I can't talk right now but I miss you. See you soon" Ok. now I need to calm down.

[DigitalFudge]

^^^

[G-Lexington]

Congratulations. You're now the side action. He's at least saved you the bother of having to dump him.

Lex

[sixthson]

For the sake of argument, let's say they are not having sex. What explanation is there for his other mistreatment of you? Why are you excluded from their meetings? If his ex does not like you, his ex should be the one shown the door, not you. You might want to consider experiencing this kind of disrespect the rest of your life with him. Being desperate to keep him as your bf is not love.

He is f'd up.

[borg69unimatrix]

IMO, you were wronged in a major way...

... but on the bright side, life goes on, and YOU deserve better.

Learn from it, move on, and find a guy who DOES treat you like you deserve to be treated - cause this guy isn't it!

[looseliam]

Very sad ... but my bf just left me a voicemail saying "... loud music .... Hey babe, I am in a club with (his ex). I can't talk right now but I miss you. See you soon" Ok. now I need to calm down.

No you don't. He called to keep stringing you along. It's what people like that do.

[MetalSteff]

... but on the bright side, life goes on, and YOU deserve better.

The biggest problem here is not that his ''bf'' is a jerk. That`s an established fact, but the OP let himself be stepped on and said nothing.

The biggest problem seems to be the OP's self esteem. He might deserve better, but he doesn't believe it. IF he did, he would have dumped the bf as soon as the first incident with the ex happened.

No one with a right frame of mind and self esteem would let someone do something like that. But there have probably been signs beforehand, and just the fact that he says the guy is in a different league leads me to believe that before OP goes into another relationship, he needs to learn to be happy with himself.

[Huntneo(PT)]

The biggest problem seems to be the OP's self esteem.

what self esteem?

[borg69unimatrix]

Well ok then...

indudela - you deserve better. You deserve more. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, compassion, understanding, and equality. You're NOT getting it from the jerk you're currently with.

He's a rat bastard that doesn't deserve YOU.

I can't spell it out any better then that.