BF broke up with me today, Thanksgiving!

[ryanboy]

He didn't come home from visiting his family. He was gone for several weeks. He called me today and said he's not coming back and that I should send him his things. I'm brokenhearted.

[cityboy-stl]

I am so sorry. What a rotten thing to do on Thanksgiving. Did he give any reason?

[JayHawk]

Shit... that is rude as hell... tell him he can pay for the shipping and your time and then you may think about it... then again you may just put his stuff in the trash where it belongs.... freakin twat... not a nice thing to do on a holiday....

[AWP82]

Sorry, buddy.

[ryanboy]

Only that things are better for him back home in Texas and that I should try to forget him. I thought things were OK between us. He said there' s no other guy but everyone says that, right?

I am so sorry. What a rotten thing to do on Thanksgiving. Did he give any reason?

[ryanboy]

Thanks, not sure what to do now..

[ryanboy]

I'm pissed off one minute and lost the next.

Shit... that is rude as hell... tell him he can pay for the shipping and your time and then you may think about it... then again you may just put his stuff in the trash where it belongs.... freakin twat... not a nice thing to do on a holiday....

[loki81]

send him his things?

fuck that, it's Thanksgiving... sounds like a trip to Goodwill is in order.

[JayHawk]

It sucks bad... but sticking it out with something that doesn't work just makes it harder later.... he obviously gets no points for timing but perhaps it is better for you to find a guy you can trust and who wants to be with you... that still doesnt make being a shit head on Thanksgiving any better...

[reone]

I know this doesn't help you, but I'm truly sorry to hear this :|. How awful.

I wouldn't suggest throwing his things away just yet, but I wouldn't pack them and send them to him either unless you care enough to do that for him. It will take time, but reel your heart in and give it to someone that really deserves it.

[cgymike]

Yeah just wait a bit he may call back changing his mind. If not send him back his things and be over with it. But if it's expensive to do that call him and tell him to send you cash first to cover the cost. If he refuses tell him he'll have to come back to pick the stuff up. Don't make a huge issue of it. Try to be as level-headed and reasonable as you can though I know that's really tough.

[ryanboy]

Thanks guys. All good advice. I just have to clear my head.

[mbamike]

I'm so sorry!

Here's a big naked hug!

[AlmondMilk]

If he changes his mind, I'd be wary and not have him in your life any time soon. I'm really sorry. That's definitely not anyway to break up with someone. IF anything, he should've came back and packed his own things. I don't think you have any obligation to do so for him. Then again, I'm not sure.

[oakpope]

Sorry to hear the bad news. Have you got friends near with whom to go and speak and sooth a little bit ?
For his things, do with them as you would wish someone would do if the role was reverse. Just be fair to yourself.

Please remember that time heals, even if in the moment it is very hard to take in. Think about the future and eventually make peace with the past.

Big hug ! Be well !

[CupidBoy]

I understand, mine broke up on Valentines day. The pain will pass with time. Best wishes to you.

[Laufey]

Don't send him his stuff. He should either pick it up himself or get someone to pick it up for him.

I couldn't imagine someone dumping me and then having to do that for him right after.

At least make him wait for it a little.

[ravenstar]

Your ex-boyfriend is a gutless turd. I'd tell him he has a week to get his arse back and get his junk or I'd throw it on the front lawn and let the scavengers take what they will.

[Beachguyj]

He didn't come home from visiting his family. He was gone for several weeks. He called me today and said he's not coming back and that I should send him his things. I'm brokenhearted.

Send his things to the garbage. You want your things come and get em.

Sorry about your messed up relationship, but realize he's a jerk for how he ended it.

[voyager1994]

Sorry to hear about your sad news. It's understandable to feel anger or betrayed, but try not to let your anger determine your course of action. I'd say don't do what he's asking you to do, but don't throw away his stuff just yet - you don't want to end up in Judge Judy if you know what I mean. I think you should talk face to face (this should help you find closure and move on), and then let him collect his belongings making it clear to him that his stuff will not remain in your possession. You'll heal and move on, that's for sure! Good luck.

[Seasoned]

I'm sorry you are going through this. You should send him his things? What are we talking about here, half a house or a few things when he stayed over? If the amount of stuff is reasonable I'd call a friend to help me pack it up just so I wouldn't have to run into it everyday. The grieving process has stages from denial to acceptance. Anger figures prominently and if you act out of anger you might get stuck there for too long and when you finally get to acceptance you might feel shitty about yourself if you do anything too mean.

The best thing is to think about it. Weigh the work involved. Ask for help. And make demands on him that satisfy your right to know what happened and the burden of handling his stuff and the inconvience of actually doing this. One way would be to pack it up and have him have one of his friends get the shit and ship it.

He has quite the nerve expecting you to have the pain, inconvience and expense of taking care of something he should do for himself. His selfishness is unbelievable. A way of speeding up your process is to concentrate on his negatives and how he's handling the break up is one fucking huge negative.

Take care and be with friends as much as possible.

[rareboy]

He must be very young.

Or immature.

Thanksgiving?

You betcha.

Be thankful that you are rid of him now if this is the kind of person that he really is.

As for his stuff?

Yeah. I'd tell him to either pick it up himself or to arrange for it to be picked up on account by UPS.

[Kabluey]

There are a few services that provide collection, packing and freight services for home movers - ask him to get in touch with one of them to arrange the removal and tell him to send through a list of things he wants sent. It's not reasonable to inconvenience you. Make sure you're there when the removalists are in to check your own things are left as they are and no damage occurs to your things or your place, and make sure the billing is to him alone.
Very sorry to hear about the breakup. Horrible timing, not that I can think of a good time for things like that to happen.
Be strong.

[TheLyingGame]

Is he a vegetarian? What... some vegetarians get so testy around turkey slaying seasons...


If not, that's bad, man. REALLY cruel.

[Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom]

I say burnnnn all his stuff .

[racer2438]

I'm sorry this happened, and wish you well as you go thru this tough time.

But this guy has no balls, no heart, no soul... to do this to you in this manner. While hard to do, and hear given how he did this, you may be better off w/o this shit 4 brains(sorry).

One can at least tell you face/face and give reason.

His stuff: Ship it-----> hell no. I would do one of 2 things....> 1. email/text/mail-certified (sig request) that he has 5 days to p/u his belongings or they will be disposed of.

2. 5 days to p/u or they will be donated to a goodwill/shelter since he has abandoned them.

You have no responsibility for them AFTER giving him a notice (written preferred) to keep/store his stuff after he abandoned them.

Cover your self in case he takes you to court over his property. Make sure you get keys back/change locks.

But most of all take care of your self, and don't stress out to much, while it will be hard for a while heal your self and move on.


Hug's to you. Be the better man, in the end you will be alright and he will always be a loser/quiter with out balls.


ps- keep us posted as to what happens..just to see how/if he got his things

[Harke the Boeotarch]

He didn't come home from visiting his family. He was gone for several weeks. He called me today and said he's not coming back and that I should send him his things. I'm brokenhearted.

Did you beat him up with a baseball bat or something comparable?

If not, tell him to go get his stuff himself.

[maxpowr9]

Holidays are really a true test of a relationship. At Xmas, it was a disaster that led to me breaking up with my ex the first time. I'd still give him the big FU. If he wants his things, he can get them himself.

[The Fly]

I wouldn't send him a damn thing!!! If he didn't have the balls to break up with you face 2 face, then FUCK HIM (and not in a good way). He abandoned his belongings when he decided not to come and get them. I would keep whatever is good then dump the rest. Just the fact that he would ask such a bullshit thing says all you need to hear.
Enjoy your freedom and all the new and interesting people waiting just outside your door.

[GiancarloC]

That's an incredibly rude thing to do. And send him things? He should come back and get them... if he has the guts to do so. Why should you spend any more money on him? It was a horrible thing he did. If he was going to break-up with you it's best to explain why face to face... it would still hurt, but it would be less rude than that. I am sorry about that.

[cgymike]

The point is you want to avoid court. I don't know the guy - maybe he's a wuss and would never force you to send him his stuff (legal action). But then again he may be vindictive in which case send the stuff and move on before it escalates to something criminal. And these situations can turn criminal (ex comes back and burns lover's house down or shoots him etc). Just be careful - you know him better than anyone here. But it does sound like he's on the wuss side of things! No balls.

[KaraBulut]

E-bay his stuff, use the proceeds to go on a nice vacation with a good friend and move on with your life.

[Saybrooke]

I'd keep what you want and donate the rest. If he asks tell him "Sorry! The local thrift store was a lot closer. You can pick your things up there!"

[oakpope]

I disagree with these opinions. Its not because he was a jerk that you should act like one. We don't know the amount of his stuff. If it's little, just send him back and move on. If it's of consequence then text him that it's his own business to get his stuff back.
You shared something with him, don't add a layer of bad sentiments which ruins past happy times.
Better to move on when you're ready with a clear conscience.

[honooryuu]

im sorry to hear that... that is a grimy thing to do. while i am all for getting rid of his stuff and not giving it back to him, tell him that he needs to either send someone to come get it, or come get it himself. give him the chance to get it, and if after a little while you still have it, then get rid of it. i wouldnt waste the effort in sending it to him though.

[Hard-up1]

I agree with the Pope.

Don't let your ex drag out the process, but give him an honest chance to collect his stuff. He can have a friend get it, pay movers to pack it, or come back himself and collect it. It's obvious he can, as he was working formerly from wherever you live vs. in Texas.

He did a lousy thing, but you are going on to meet other guys and not be the loser he has been.

Live proud, and stay close with friends here at the holidays. Don't let his shitty lack of style ruin your mood.

BIG hug.

[Blueboy82]

Hi ryanboy,

I'm sorry to hear about this.

Maybe something good will come out of this. I'm sure you will find a better guy along the way.

When one door is closed, another one is waiting for you to open it.

[sixthson]

Ryan, there is more to this story than just your bf dumping you without warning, right?

[pat grimshaw]

^ Yes, there is. It takes two to make a relationship.

[Blk_Thickness]

Whoop his assssss!!!!!!!

[Saybrooke]

Whoop his assssss!!!!!!!

I second this!

[ibill1]

A real gentleman would return and tell you face to face what the deal is, collect his crap and part with good wishes. Not knowing the particulars, just from what has been posted, I'd tell him to either come and get his stuff in a certain time frame, then it is going in the trash. Not only does he break up with you but has the gull to ask you to ship his stuff to him? ah, no.

[MTLDude]

Trust me, it's a blessing in disguise: if he can be such a jerk, he did not deserve you...

[Huntneo(PT)]

A lot of great advice and suggestions here. I have nothing to add, but this:



I have your back, ryanboy!

[cgymike]

Whoop his assssss!!!!!!!

Then you sink to his level...no...that's wrong. My god, if I kicked everybody's ass I wanted to I would need a new pair of boots. Wanting to do it and actually doing it - two different things.

[Lestatnj]

Sorry to hear this.

Pack his stuff up & find out from Fedex, UPS or USPS what it will cost to send to him, then phone him to send you a money order, THEN you'll send his stuff. If he doesn't send the $$, keep the stuff for a few months, then sell it if you have no word from him. BTW. if he owes you any $$ for rent, etc, he should pay at least November's share

[ronboy]

Ryan, Sir Ron just saw this thread today. My condolences. No end to a relationship is easy.

The posters above me have given you some good advice.

As one who was unceremoniously dumped a few years back, I know how you feel, because I was there.

[ryanboy]

An update for anyone's who's interested. I went to Texas in an attempt to bring him back home. It was a wasted effort. He just said he didn't want to keep it going and he wants to stay in Texas. So I came back home and I 've been whoring ever since. And I did Fedex his stuff back to him. End of story.

[LaughOutLoud]

Give up on the whoring! It'll feel good right now, but once you're over him and ready to move on, you'll totally regret it!

[pat grimshaw]

You can be thankful, Ryanboy, that you hadn't got married.