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  1. #1
    JWaggy
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    Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Serious discussion time.

    Have you ever been abused (physically, emotionally, sexually) by your significant other? If you're willing, please share your experience and/or how you managed to deal with it. Have you been able to move past it?

  2. #2
    CupidBoy
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Yes, I developed anxiety from it, but time heals all wounds and I'm stronger for having the experience.

  3. #3
    JWaggy
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    Yes, I developed anxiety from it, but time heals all wounds and I'm stronger for having the experience.
    Do you still suffer from this anxiety?

  4. #4
    CupidBoy
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by JWaggy View Post
    Do you still suffer from this anxiety?
    A little....but I'm mostly ok now.

  5. #5
    JWaggy
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    A little....but I'm mostly ok now.
    Glad to hear you're on your way to being okay. I appreciate you sharing.

  6. #6
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    My ex played some serious mind games, but nothing that went nearly far enough to call it emotional abuse. And I've never been physically abused, thank goodness.
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  7. #7
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Occasional games and passive-aggression in both directions. Way far far off from abuse.

    Lex

  8. #8
    A Total Bottom mbamike's Avatar
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    I used to get my ass whipped by my mom when I was a kid. She would use a belt or leather strap. Does that count as abuse?

  9. #9
    AshyPhoenix
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    ^If your mom was your significant other, then I think there's a bigger problem in your family than children being belted...

  10. #10
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    Yes, I developed anxiety from it, but time heals all wounds and I'm stronger for having the experience.

    Few weeks back I actually had an anxiety attack. Fever/Stomach pains/Dizziness for 48 hours after the strike.


    I know exactly how awful it is, so sorry someone brought that on to you.

  11. #11
    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by LilBit View Post
    My ex played some serious mind games, but nothing that went nearly far enough to call it emotional abuse. And I've never been physically abused, thank goodness.
    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    Occasional games and passive-aggression in both directions. Way far far off from abuse.

    Lex
    If I may ask, what are those mind games which you write about ? I quite don't understand what they may be.
    Magna Veritas


  12. #12
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    No, he hurt me, but it wasn't abuse, and we are actually friends now, and I am happy for him.

  13. #13
    JWaggy
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    No, he hurt me, but it wasn't abuse, and we are actually friends now, and I am happy for him.
    Care to elaborate on the way in which he hurt you and why you don't consider it an abuse?

  14. #14
    Filling in for Tits McGee kevbo's Avatar
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Never. I grew up around it, so I know to end it early with someone if it begins.

  15. #15
    JWaggy
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by kevbo View Post
    Never. I grew up around it, so I know to end it early with someone if it begins.
    Have you been in a relationship where you ended it because you saw the signs? Or is this just posturing?

  16. #16
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    No but if I was in a relationship and it happened my bf would be history.

  17. #17
    Dr Bit! :~D
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by oakpope View Post
    If I may ask, what are those mind games which you write about ? I quite don't understand what they may be.
    A long cycle of drawing me closer to him then pushing me away when he got scared that we were getting too close.
    Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite to a party. ~Joan Crawford

  18. #18
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by oakpope View Post
    If I may ask, what are those mind games which you write about ? I quite don't understand what they may be.
    "Mind games" tends to make it sound more than it is. It's some of the simple petty things people sometimes do when they interact. For instance, if we're going to go out to eat (someplace simple), my partner tends to say "Oh, you choose which restaurant to eat at." He almost never picks. Reason? Because then he can blame me (internally) if his food isn't that great. Seriously. He admits he does that. I certainly don't mind, since he never seems to actually get angry about it ever, but it's a weird "game" we do.

    Lex

  19. #19
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by kevbo View Post
    Never. I grew up around it, so I know to end it early with someone if it begins.
    Same, however, it was verbal abuse. In fact, I feel verbal abuse is far more damaging psychologically than actual physical abuse not that either is more worse. When someone actually strikes you, there is a clear action indicating abuse where as verbal abuse is like death by a thousand cuts.

  20. #20

    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    I've been verbally/emotionally abused by a controlling, manipulative friend. (Who I happened to be in love with at the time.) But I got out of it, though I had to do it slowly and gradually because I was afraid of his reaction if I had ended it suddenly. But if there is abuse of any kind, you have to get out of that relationship however you can. Nothing else is worth it if there is abuse involved.

  21. #21
    animalius
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Yes, my ex was emotionally draining and abusive. I still have bitter feelings even after months of being with him.

  22. #22
    TheFallenAsexual
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    I can be very cold when necessary. If anything of the sort happens to me, it's pretty much over. I don't let people walk over me or abuse me.

  23. #23
    JWaggy
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by bw92116 View Post
    I've been verbally/emotionally abused by a controlling, manipulative friend. (Who I happened to be in love with at the time.) But I got out of it, though I had to do it slowly and gradually because I was afraid of his reaction if I had ended it suddenly. But if there is abuse of any kind, you have to get out of that relationship however you can. Nothing else is worth it if there is abuse involved.
    Thanks for answering bw92116, your response is helpful.

  24. #24
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    "Mind games" tends to make it sound more than it is. It's some of the simple petty things people sometimes do when they interact. For instance, if we're going to go out to eat (someplace simple), my partner tends to say "Oh, you choose which restaurant to eat at." He almost never picks. Reason? Because then he can blame me (internally) if his food isn't that great. Seriously. He admits he does that. I certainly don't mind, since he never seems to actually get angry about it ever, but it's a weird "game" we do.

    Lex
    Yeah and that's not really abuse of course but it's irritating or as I posted in another thread people sometimes habitually try to bring you down because they somehow feel inferior so will play games around that. But the trick is to recognize it for what it is and if the advantages of staying in the relationship still significantly outweigh such annoyances you stay in it. But a lot of that stuff can also be addressed through good communication. Almost always unless he is doing it intentionally and willfully and that's a whole different matter. And no I don't have a solution to that except third party counseling ...IF you want to stay together...if not adios!!!!

  25. #25
    Filling in for Tits McGee kevbo's Avatar
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by JWaggy View Post
    Have you been in a relationship where you ended it because you saw the signs? Or is this just posturing?
    I haven't had to end a relationship, but I have neglected to get INTO a relationship based on the signs...

  26. #26
    tiexgrr
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    One of my ex's was extremely abusive on an emotional level, at the time I took every word he said for the truth. Fast forward a few years and I couldn't care less what he had to say, though I'll never forgive him for some of it.

    Another Ex started to get physical with me, it started out with him slapping me across the face (quite hard mind you) for some petty reason and escalated from there as the end of our relationship drew near. The last straw was him slamming a door on my hand and then giving me a punch to the jaw. I packed his things then and there and kicked him out.

    The guy I've been dating for the past 8 months is amazing, we rarely fight and usually our fights are civil discussions

  27. #27
    Enchanted
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Whahah,no.

  28. #28
    A Total Bottom mbamike's Avatar
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Quote Originally Posted by AshyPhoenix View Post
    ^If your mom was your significant other, then I think there's a bigger problem in your family than children being belted...
    LOL! Good point. I was thinking of the pain rather than our relationship.

    I was a skinny kid and my mom was a big person. She would dangle me in the air by one arm and beat the shit out of me.

  29. #29
    Huntneo(PT)
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Wow--I feel really sad reading some of this stuff. I'm sorry to hear the things some of you guys have been through. Either way, so glad to hear it's made some of you stronger and wiser. So often we only hear of this type of stuff with heterosexuals, it's almost easy to forget it can happen between same sex relationships as well.

    I've never been in such a relationship. If my partner ever raised his hand(s) to hit me or drag me with words...it would probably hurt my feelings. I realize that may sound juvenile, but seriously...I could never look at him the same way.

  30. #30
    THE FLIRT JUB Moderator ronboy's Avatar
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    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    No, just bitterly disappointed by the one I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with...He cheated on me, and then dumped me.


    The Three Musketeers... Bashful, Chrisglass, and Ronboy!

  31. #31
    Gimmecat
    Guest

    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    No but my parents abused me

  32. #32

    Re: Have you ever been abused by your significant other?

    Just verbally/emotionally.

    Some guys need to seriously learn you can be IN a relationship without controlling it.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

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