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  1. #1
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Um, yes, I know a couple guys who are HIV+. Not much insight to give. They decided not to use a condom with somebody, and that ended up being a really bad decision that they have to deal with the rest of their lives...

    Lex

  2. #2
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    One of my HIV+ friends was doing bareback porn. He was fresh out of the military, self-loathing, and chose that way to "punish" himself. So getting HIV wasn't that surprising, I guess. Oddly, he's a lot happier now. Pretty healthy, although he had a bout of lymphoma a few years back (unrelated). Partnered. Good job.

    The others I don't know. They've never said "Jesus - the ONE time I skip the condom!" or anything. They've just said "I chose not to use one, and that ended being a bad decision."

    Lex

  3. #3
    Look Away To The Moon. MoufOfKhaos's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Yes I do. Not sure what light i'm supposed to be shedding here. Some people make bad choices and pay for them. They can either correct them and live a long life, or they can ignore them and others can repeat the cycle of misguided trust.

    To be honest, i'd rather deal with column A than B.
    "Thereís death on the horizon,

    and Iíll run to behold your sacrifice..."

  4. #4
    JUB Addict menRsexii's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by Coward92 View Post

    Those who are paranoid about HIV, go to HIV tests even after protected intercourse, or even if nothing but a kiss happened with little lesions and bleeding wounds in the mouth. They always make sure they are aware of their HIV status and over time they tend to develop a behavioural pattern that gives them more protection.
    so... are you saying thats ^ a good thing?

  5. #5
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    He's saying that being aware of what you're doing and the risk involved is a good thing. Some people overdo it, though, and treat everything as a major risk. That ends up being a problem.

  6. #6
    JUB Addict menRsexii's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    ^ im totally like that. everything for me is either black or white, all or nothing. i cant find a middle ground and thats whats going to kill me...

  7. #7
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Well, it's not going to kill you, but it will make your love life challenging. However, if you're willing to take the time to build an exclusive LTR with a guy, I think you'll find your skitishness about STDs will decrease over time.

  8. #8
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    I don't think it's right to judge people who get it from being promiscuous.

    We all do unhealthy things which can threaten our health. Some overeat, some use drugs, some work to much, some are promiscuous...

    The rush of one night stands can become an addiction just like any other.

    But sure young gays today are having more risky sex than 15-20 years ago.

  9. #9
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Some gay people can be breathtakingly judgmental and insensitive. Probably lashing out at a society which has done the same to them, but when it involves other gays with an infectious disease, regardless of how they acquired it, I draw the line and say this needs to stop.

    Ostracizing and bullying HIV+ people doesn't solve anything. It only encourages anonymity and drives the disease further into the shadows of society where it spreads even easier.

  10. #10
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by menRsexii View Post
    ^ im totally like that. everything for me is either black or white, all or nothing. i cant find a middle ground and thats whats going to kill me...
    Do you drive? When you drive, do you put your seatbelt on? Do you stop at stop signs? Do you stay on your lane? Do you stay below the speed limit?

    Doing these things brings your odds of getting injured while driving way down. It doesn't bring them to zero, of course, but you're far more likely to be OK than a driver who doesn't wear a seatbelt and drives recklessly.

    Lex

  11. #11
    The Journey of a Lifetime Adrock-JD's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    ...and I'm not seeing the "attacks" or judgements in this thread that some people are attempting to allude to. The OP was just asking question(s) for feedback.
    I wasn't actually referring to this thread's posts but rather stretching the "on topic" boundaries and venting about HIV discussions in general on JUB and in the gay community.

    Sorry for going off track and I should've stated that at the beginning. I've been on Facebook too much lately.

  12. #12
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by Geiri85 View Post
    I don't think it's right to judge people who get it from being promiscuous.

    We all do unhealthy things which can threaten our health. Some overeat, some use drugs, some work to much, some are promiscuous...

    The rush of one night stands can become an addiction just like any other.

    But sure young gays today are having more risky sex than 15-20 years ago.
    True.
    During sex, some don't care about protection.
    At Lucky7, the source was from experience.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  13. #13
    JUB Addict menRsexii's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    Do you drive? When you drive, do you put your seatbelt on? Do you stop at stop signs? Do you stay on your lane? Do you stay below the speed limit?

    Doing these things brings your odds of getting injured while driving way down. It doesn't bring them to zero, of course, but you're far more likely to be OK than a driver who doesn't wear a seatbelt and drives recklessly.

    Lex
    i was actually thinking about this too. everyday, we face situations that could ultimately go completely wrong, but the odds are greatly lessened when we take the precautions. it makes sense... i just need to get over this paranoia.

  14. #14
    panegyric JUB Admin Corny's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    I know someone through another person. But I don't know his story .. I haven't asked. Since he is using his infection, trying to get pity-ed and free drinks, meals etc I never cut the topic with him.
    Check out my very own Body Hair Lovers and Photography Groups!

  15. #15
    stop the bullshit rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Being as old as I am, and having been involved in AIDS organizations...I have known a lot of people who are HIV positive.

    Many of them are living with HIV/AIDS today. And living quite successfully.

    And many of them were not promiscuous or careless at all. Some got infected through blood transfusions. Some through a partner who didn't know they were infected.

    I would just ask all you youngsters out there to get better educated, to not be so fearful and to not rush to blame the people who contract this disease or think of them as somehow morally or socially inferior.

    Okey Dokey?

  16. #16
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Thank you for that Rareboy

  17. #17
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Lots of Ugly going on in this thread.

    I am a long term HIV survivor. Seventeen years. It's why I got involved in politics. My husband is negative. There is a way to make sure that you are safe if you are safe.

    To anyone else that thinks that it's not a problem to become infected because there are people like me that beat the odds from the beginning, I have two things to say. One... It's extremely expensive to stay alive and HIV positive on a long term basis. It requires extraordinary committment to fighting every step of every way. On good days I get around with two canes or crutches. On an average day I am in a chair, of the wheels variety, and on bad days I am hospitalized and given morphine intravenously, to keep the pain at bay.

    The long term effects of the HIV drugs have devastated my nervous system. I am immobile due to extreme neuropathy.

    It's not cute to get it.

    It's not attractive to see the things written here in an online forum. Two years ago, I found a listing for this place in a log of resources of a support group I belong to. Someone a few of you know, called Andreus, listed this forum there as a support tool. There are others here who have been sent here by his message in that log. There have been for years after his death apparently.

    After reading this thread, I am taking the JUB listing out of the log in next months meeting.

    There are quite a few people who need to reconsider a few things, one most importantly being, do I seem like the kind of person that takes this kind of thing lightly?
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    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

  18. #18
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    BTW, I will be glad to help anyone with questions that they have, but trust me, there will be respect for HIV positive gay people here who CAME here to find an anonymous outlet to talk to the gay community that ostracizes them and made an online outlet needed to begin with.

    Respect Gentlemen.

    This topic is supposed to be thought of and thoughtful. It is not supposed to EVER not happen.

    Just remember an element of human dignity and we will all be fine.
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    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

  19. #19
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    BP, thank you for your post as well...
    I am not sure I understood why you think you should remove JUB from that list you mentioned... I think it'd actually be a good idea for younger guys to have interactions with HIV+ people and have a chance to educate ourselves better, it's the only way I know to fight nasty comments based on ignorance that are frequent on gay forums...

  20. #20
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by Nishin View Post
    BP, thank you for your post as well...
    I am not sure I understood why you think you should remove JUB from that list you mentioned... I think it'd actually be a good idea for younger guys to have interactions with HIV+ people and have a chance to educate ourselves better, it's the only way I know to fight nasty comments based on ignorance that are frequent on gay forums...
    Why send someone to a place that only exists now in the mind of a dead man. I have a feeling this isn't the same place he experienced, or I doubt he would have listed it.

    Things change.

    I am not going anywhere, but....

    It is what it is.
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    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

  21. #21
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by lucky7 View Post
    Wait where is the ugly in this thread?
    You are asking complex questions that incite complex feelings in HIV pos people, and you are making some big generalizations that people have been fighting for years to get rid of.

    The stigmatization of HIV pos people is all over this, in the most general and careless of ways.

    I've always liked you, Lucky.

    Setting the table to make HIV pos people guilty of being seen as slutty is precisely the kind of thing that stops people from getting tested. The fear of being ostracized overcomes the need to know their status.

    It needs to not go down that way.
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    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

  22. #22
    radical faerie ixthrock's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by lucky7 View Post
    Do you know anyone who has gotten HIV from sex?
    Pretty much everyone I know who is poz got HIV from sex. It is a STD, after all. Promiscuity is one thing, "questionable judgement" another. Regardless, even someone who has risky sex with multiple partners known to be poz deserves some compassion, at least an attempt at empathy, and some basic human respect. Think of a NASCAR driver, all the nature/nurture that goes into creating someone that likes to drive fast cars fast, close to a bunch of other guys doing the same thing - think of a fan's reaction when one of them wipes out. Wouldn't it be awesome if the sexual daredevils among us had jerseys with numbers, and corporate sponsors, and their own cable channel. They could have their own line of condoms, so, just like you see pickup trucks driving around with Dale Earnhardt or whoever's number on the back window, whenever we lost one of our sexual heroes to HIV, we could wear their number on our condoms.

  23. #23
    stop the bullshit rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    I would also add that when I compare the fearful, buttoned up, bottled up, latex covered, fearful children afraid to to anything because of their ignorance and antipathy toward HIV/AIDS...I really have to tell you all that I am so glad that I had the chance to be a homo in the 70's into the '80's.

    I appreciate the need to play safe, but honest to Pete, it seems as though there is now a whole generation so afraid of anything that they are missing out on incredible opportunities for connecting with other real people and enjoying messy, squishy, joyful sex that I would much rather get gang-banged by a shipload of syphilitic sailors than to lead the existentially sterile existence that so many now seem to wear like armour.

    Even when I served on the board of a national AIDs organization in the 1990's, there was never any thought that all the people we were working with and working to support were somehow less worthy than those of us who missed that bullet. All AIDS is, is a virus. That is all. It isn't punishment. It isn't a moral wake-up call.

    I remember the days when after losing a number of dear, dear friends and acquaintances to AIDS...suddenly, there was hope. And not only hope, but the ability to manage the disease. And to live.

    And every year there is more to be done and more that gets done and one day we will have the cure that places HIV in the same arena as measles or Polio. Preventable. And curable.

    And then maybe, there will be a whole lot of you who get the opportunity to experience the unbridled bliss and freedom that many of us once knew when we fucked and sucked the living daylights out of one another.

  24. #24
    radical faerie ixthrock's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    there will be a whole lot of you who get the opportunity to experience the unbridled bliss and freedom that many of us once knew when we fucked and sucked the living daylights out of one another.
    Yeah, I was around back then.
    Not all of us were purdy like you rb.

  25. #25
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    I Still am pretty god damned it... hehe

    I think one thing that people miss is that often those that talk the most about sex are the ones not getting it. I can tell you what a joy it is, to NOT have that with my husband. I am an asshound from hell, and we were led to believe that bottoms were mostly in danger.

    Wrong.

    If anyone wants to know my fascination with the male ass it's because I have been wanting one and settling for a handjob instead, for more than a decade.

    More seriously it underlines why I have allowed my husband to have sex outside of our marriage. I don't want him to miss being sexually fulfilled, and I trust his love and ability to remain Negative due to his understanding of Viral transmission because we ARE married.

    I am on Atripla, and he is on prophylactic doses of sustiva to make sure that he remains negative. In spite of that, we basically have a sexual relationship of affection and masturbation. It makes it no less meaningful to either of us.

    But how long have I been hearing nasty comments from the uptight moralists here on how disgusting it is for me to have an open marriage? It is easier for me to let people think it's because I am slutty than to explain the really complex situation that me and people who are positive find themselves in romantically.

    I Love my husband. He is beautiful. He is my life partner, not my death partner.
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    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

  26. #26
    stop the bullshit rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    ^ sigh. How romantic.

    There is more life and love in all of this than in 90% of all the posts on JUB fretting about the risks and rewards of being 100% emotionally committed and loving yourself no matter what.

    but there is no reason why you shouldn't be tapping some ass. Just sayin'.

  27. #27
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    One of my ex bf got hiv but after we broke up. I think it changed his life but as of yesterday he is still around. The medications work so most people can live a normal life span though not symptom-free I am sure! Also, the cost of medications is there and none eascape paying at least something so financially you get dinged...forever.

    Be careful!

  28. #28
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    It's not just the medications. Blood tests can cost over a thousand and sometimes they are needed monthly. There are all the side effect medications you take... meds to treat side effects from the damage the old cocktails did... and then there are the meds for the meds.

    The chemicals alone are devastating. I was throwing up blood a year ago, with an ulcerated esophagus, and let me tell you how fond HIV neg people are of being around HIV pos people who are yacking blood.

    It piles on, layer after layer.

    The HIV pos people here by and large will never complain about it though, because they understand the value of life, and the joy of not being treated like a needy freak.

    HIV pos people want respect, but not really attention or pity. We just want to fit in.

    That is the reason why threads like this can spook people... So I outed myself as an AIDS patient.

    BTW... the notes he left gave this site as a resource, it listed a few friendly names only one of which is still here, and the name of a thread here that he wanted to be remembered for within the HIV pos community.

    The thread is still here.
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    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

  29. #29
    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    I dont have any personal friends that were promiscuous and then became HIV positive... however I am recently ( over the last year and half) single and here is the main observation I have had since getting beck into a dating and FWB scene...

    It seemed when i was first upon the gay sex scene everyone was freaked out and quite ignorant to HIV. Then we learned and carried on using protection with random sex. Now nine years later getting back into the scene there are tons of HIV+ folks on A4A and Grndr which is a good thing. People should be open and honest and be able to live life as much as they desire and as circumstance permits. However besides that rise there are also an amazing number of folks who will only have sex bare... I have been turned down after everything clicked completely just for demanding condoms.... That is a weird thing. however because medicine is allowing folks to live normal lives and long lives with HIV I think the younger generation doesn't see it as a threat. However as BP points out there are huge challenges to overcome.

    I wish somehow that message could get out with out the fear and stigmatization that was associated with the initial epidemic.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  30. #30
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by BostonPirate View Post
    It's not just the medications. Blood tests can cost over a thousand and sometimes they are needed monthly. There are all the side effect medications you take... meds to treat side effects from the damage the old cocktails did... and then there are the meds for the meds.

    The chemicals alone are devastating. I was throwing up blood a year ago, with an ulcerated esophagus, and let me tell you how fond HIV neg people are of being around HIV pos people who are yacking blood.

    It piles on, layer after layer.

    The HIV pos people here by and large will never complain about it though, because they understand the value of life, and the joy of not being treated like a needy freak.

    HIV pos people want respect, but not really attention or pity. We just want to fit in.

    That is the reason why threads like this can spook people... So I outed myself as an AIDS patient.

    BTW... the notes he left gave this site as a resource, it listed a few friendly names only one of which is still here, and the name of a thread here that he wanted to be remembered for within the HIV pos community.

    The thread is still here.
    Thank you Pirate my post was a bit lacking. There are certainly the side effects to deal with but being alive is better than the alternative. My ex texted me yesterday to ask about my health. Somehow he still cares after all this time.

  31. #31
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    Thank you Pirate my post was a bit lacking. There are certainly the side effects to deal with but being alive is better than the alternative. My ex texted me yesterday to ask about my health. Somehow he still cares after all this time.
    For two years I haven't mentioned the fact that my legs are useless. I guess we know the value of life and don't mind paying the price of fighting the fight.

    HIV pos people by and large are remarkably positive people once the initial shock of it wears off. I don't think that you live through HIV and AIDS if you aren't a happy warrior. I have seen the warriors go down, and I have seen the bitter wither away, but I have rarely seen a man die of this illness who isn't by nature both inherently outgoing and agressive, with a sense of humor. You have to live a life worth living or you won't want to be alive.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic345672_2.gif

    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

  32. #32
    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    Thank you Pirate my post was a bit lacking. There are certainly the side effects to deal with but being alive is better than the alternative. My ex texted me yesterday to ask about my health. Somehow he still cares after all this time.
    Completely unrelated but I still love my ex as a human being... I don't think you can spend nine years with someone and not develop a familial kinship... I wont ever look at him with anger....and I always wish him the best....
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  33. #33
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    Thank you Pirate my post was a bit lacking. There are certainly the side effects to deal with but being alive is better than the alternative. My ex texted me yesterday to ask about my health. Somehow he still cares after all this time.
    For two years I haven't mentioned the fact that my legs are useless. I guess we know the value of life and don't mind paying the price of fighting the fight.

    HIV pos people by and large are remarkably positive people once the initial shock of it wears off. I don't think that you live through HIV and AIDS if you aren't a happy warrior. I have seen the warriors go down, and I have seen the bitter wither away, but I have rarely seen a man die of this illness who isn't by nature both inherently outgoing and agressive, with a sense of humor. You have to live a life worth living or you won't want to be alive.

    Let me put that more simply and a challenge to every HIV negative person out there....

    Everyday I have had to purposefully choose to be alive by taking medication. I have done that every day for the last seventeen years.

    Who here can say that they woke up every day for seventeen years and made a conscious decision that life no matter how complex has always been worth living.

    I can say that I have, and that brings me more joy than I can express.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic345672_2.gif

    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

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    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    That is an awesome perspective BP.... awesome.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


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    JUB Addict menRsexii's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    i like your outlook on life, BP

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    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by JayHawk View Post
    Completely unrelated but I still love my ex as a human being... I don't think you can spend nine years with someone and not develop a familial kinship... I wont ever look at him with anger....and I always wish him the best....
    BTW, on an even further step out off the path of the topic, well maybe not.

    That list I mentioned earlier of names? You are the only one left here on that list. You may know of the other people I have always looked for that are on that list. He listed them as "trustworthy, HIV negs" in personal contacts. I think the other names he left were something like GL24, I am sure of that one, I sent him a message when I first joined. The other names were Springerfan, JD, and ughh.... I know I would get the last one wrong.... can't remember it off the top of my head.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic345672_2.gif

    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

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    JUB Addict vulgar_newcomer's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Thread title: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Earth data today: Sunrise at 7:05 AM to sunset at 5:56 PM

    The same thing shall repeat itself everyday until no man can collect such data only the time changes.

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    JUB Addict vulgar_newcomer's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    IMPORTANT: pOsitively Aware magazine this month has a excellent article on "The stigma of GAY men and HIV..... SPOILED IDENTITY"
    iTS worth a read because gay dudes are the worst for other gay dudes with HIV, this forum proves it.
    No wonder no one wants to talk about status........

    Read this my friends,

    http://positivelyaware.com/2012/12_0...identity.shtml

    EXCELLENT should be a must read for every gay guy, in 2012

  39. #39
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by Coward92 View Post
    Those who are paranoid about HIV, go to HIV tests even after protected intercourse, or even if nothing but a kiss happened with little lesions and bleeding wounds in the mouth. They always make sure they are aware of their HIV status and over time they tend to develop a behavioural pattern that gives them more protection.


    That's me to be honest.


    Barely had sex once, never did it again.


    Thought the Chlamydia would attach itself to my scalp through the air.




    Quote Originally Posted by BostonPirate View Post
    It's not just the medications. Blood tests can cost over a thousand and sometimes they are needed monthly. There are all the side effect medications you take... meds to treat side effects from the damage the old cocktails did... and then there are the meds for the meds.

    The chemicals alone are devastating. I was throwing up blood a year ago, with an ulcerated esophagus, and let me tell you how fond HIV neg people are of being around HIV pos people who are yacking blood.

    It piles on, layer after layer.

    The HIV pos people here by and large will never complain about it though, because they understand the value of life, and the joy of not being treated like a needy freak.

    HIV pos people want respect, but not really attention or pity. We just want to fit in.

    That is the reason why threads like this can spook people... So I outed myself as an AIDS patient.

    BTW... the notes he left gave this site as a resource, it listed a few friendly names only one of which is still here, and the name of a thread here that he wanted to be remembered for within the HIV pos community.

    The thread is still here.



    Sis, this isn't 1974 anymore, there are no "Cocktails" you take a single pill.

    Hell, a new all in one pill with multiple medications came out two months ago


    Another reason why these girls are out here getting filled to the brim by 6 guys a night.

    The disease is so manageable now they are unbothered by your wisdom.


  40. #40
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    The only way to be safe is to assume that everyone you have sex with is positive, and practice behaviors that will keep you safe.

    If it looks like someone is turning into a permanent kind of thing, or at least an attempt at it, then you have to get tested, and reassess.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic345672_2.gif

    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

  41. #41
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    I remember when this guy was trying to tell us that he got infected by trace amounts of precum that got onto the condom when he was putting on a dude.


    We were all like, but sis, we know what you do.


    Can someone explain the lies? Why do they lie? Like OP said getting HIV isn't like getting herpes. We know you have to work for it, why do they act like they don't put the time in?



  42. #42
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    If you are wondering whether or not or why someone has lied, then you still don't get that what they say doesn't matter.

    What matters is what choices YOU make every time you have sex. If you do not assume that EVERYONE may be lying and take precautions accordingly, then you are in trouble.

    It doesn't matter what THEY say.

    It matters what YOU do with YOUR body.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic345672_2.gif

    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

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    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by BostonPirate View Post
    It doesn't matter what THEY say.

    It matters what YOU do with YOUR body
    .

    Amen



  44. #44
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    GL24 hasn't been on in a while. I'm friends with him on FB, though, and he remains a good guy.

    And I don't see a problem with removing JUB as a support place. It isn't, really. I don't think it's evil or specifically anti-HIV. It's just standard cross-section of gay society, and it includes all kinds. The young, the old, the helpful, the bitchy, the supportive, the angry.

    I'm assuming Empty Closets isn't listed there, either. It's supportive, but more towards the "you're gay and that's OK" sort of direction.

    Lex

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    of the 99%
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    I have known several people over the years in my area who have switched their statuses to positive, including a couple of friends.
    #439th oldest member on JUB.

  46. #46
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by Awesomeness View Post
    This is not true. It's stuff like this that gets spread around and is the reason why the infection rates keep going up. The doctor at the STD clinic I went to said there's a 60% rate of getting HIV if you bottom without a condom with an HIV+ guy.

    Google the statistics.

  47. #47
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    I'm sorry but if it was 60% chance then much more guys would be infected than there are today.

    This source claims it's just half a percent when receiving. 0,065% when giving.

    http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwr...402a1.htm#tab1
    Last edited by Laufey; November 16th, 2012 at 08:02 AM.

  48. #48
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by Awesomeness View Post
    This is not true. It's stuff like this that gets spread around and is the reason why the infection rates keep going up. The doctor at the STD clinic I went to said there's a 60% rate of getting HIV if you bottom without a condom with an HIV+ guy. If that isn't true I'm sure it's way more than 1-3%. Where are you getting your information? If you keep having sex without a condom, you Will eventually become HIV positive.
    I've seen the "1-3%" figure elsewhere, and it seems about accurate. That doesn't make that last assertion inaccurate, though. Playing a strict mumbers game, that woud mean after twenty encounters, you'd be facing even odds of having contracted HIV. I'm guessing the reason we don't see these numbers much is because, to put it simply, humans generally don't "get" math. They'll snap up lottery tickets with one-in-ten-million odds, then refuse to get on an airplane because "they don't like their chances". 3-in-100 are decent odds when it comes to gambling, but not for gambling with HIV. Hell, Russian roulette offers 17-in-100 odds.

    In regards to your other point, I actually see both happening. Yes, I see some younger people who don't care about safe sex or HIV at all, but for most, I don't think it's because "you can just take a pill" or "I saw it on porn". Instead, it seems just to be the standard "I'm young and therefore immortal" viewpoint - the same that helped lead to the continued spread of HIV through the 80s. But I also see a lot of young people who are terrified of any sexual contact. On Empty Closets, not a week goes by without a panicked newcomer telling me how they haven't eaten or slept for days because they're positive they have HIV...and the story ends up being something like he was kissing a guy at a party, he groped the guy through his jeans a couple of times, and now he's feeling sweaty which means he's positive, right? And no, I don't think that's a healthy attitude to have.

    I used the driving metaphor in another thread, and I'll pull it out here, too. The first type are like utterly reckless drivers, who keep the pedal to the metal and swerve into oncoming traffic for the luz and excitement factor. The other group has the nervous Nellies who take half an hour to pull away from the curb, and putt along the road at a snail's pace screaming "I'M GONNA DIE!!!" each time another car comes into view. The smart place is in between. Always wear your seatbelt, follow some safety precautions, and you'll both minimize your risk and have a much better time. Similarly, in the bedroom, always wear a condom, follow some safety precautions, and you'll both minimize your risk and have a much better time.

    Lex

  49. #49
    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by BostonPirate View Post
    BTW, on an even further step out off the path of the topic, well maybe not.

    That list I mentioned earlier of names? You are the only one left here on that list. You may know of the other people I have always looked for that are on that list. He listed them as "trustworthy, HIV negs" in personal contacts. I think the other names he left were something like GL24, I am sure of that one, I sent him a message when I first joined. The other names were Springerfan, JD, and ughh.... I know I would get the last one wrong.... can't remember it off the top of my head.
    Well that is kinda cool... it is like receiving a compliment from beyond the grave... Andreus definitely could make a person feel at ease or challenged... often challenged ...lol. I think springerfan may have been springboksfan from back then...

    That is an interesting read vulgar but I could have told you that with no evidence. Gay men are vicious cunts often.... often.
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  50. #50
    Ijubbinatti BostonPirate's Avatar
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    Re: From HIV neg to HIV pos

    Quote Originally Posted by JayHawk View Post
    Well that is kinda cool... it is like receiving a compliment from beyond the grave... Andreus definitely could make a person feel at ease or challenged... often challenged ...lol. I think springerfan may have been springboksfan from back then...

    That is an interesting read vulgar but I could have told you that with no evidence. Gay men are vicious cunts often.... often.
    The last name was Inwood.

    A compliment from the grave. LOL. the thread name he left, to direct people, is JUB midnight radio. It was his way of proving that HIV positive people are welcome here, but interestingly enough, it never mentions HIV. Let's just say the kid was complicated.

    Let me do a search and a link...

    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...midnight+radio

    It would seem that the person I give a host of shit to for posting in Haiku, Chance, had a buddy in style. lHA! For anyone that doesn't want to follow the link, it leads to this video with commentary.....



    It's interesting that a whole little HIV poz set of people, I'd guess a dozen or so, have passed through here with this video and that thread as their introduction to the forum as a reason to join.

    I think that there ought to be an HIV poz forum here for people. God knows I'd be willing to help put it together with thread posts to get it started. I believe this needs more thought than it gets here, and I appreciate that Lucky, I think, the thread starter, for making it and having the chance to be open about my health.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic345672_2.gif

    We're gonna sit down and have ourselves a drink! And after we're done - after *I'm* done, you can run upstairs and take whichever one of them little pills makes you feel the best~Dolores Claiborne

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